by Minkman, Jen
That’s where the dream had ended, because that’s when Ben had woken her up. Hannah sucked in a breath and opened her eyes again. She sagged down to the floor of the shower cabin, puting her arms around her knees. Despite the hot water beating down on her, she was shivering.
This time, she wouldn’t hold back when she talked to Emily. She’d describe every minute detail of her dreams and visions, and tell Em what fears were plaguing her during the day, constantly lingering at the edges of her mind. And she’d tell her friend about the strange things that had been happening.
Someone had really stolen her necklace and put it outside on the lawn. She’d bumped into three creepy auraless lumberjacks in the supermarket. Three coyotes had shown up at the cabin to ominously stare at her. And so help her, something had definitely been off about the three people waiting for her in the Safeway parking lot. She just knew.
Quickly, Hannah stepped out of the shower cabin and got dressed in a bikini top and a short skirt. Time to get out of here and leave the horrible memories of her nightmare behind for a while. Sitting on a sunny beach would cheer her up.
In the kitchen, she poured the last bit of coffee Ben had left in the pot. A cup of yogurt made for a nice, light breakfast. Hannah absently ate her yogurt and stared out the window. She should bring lots of sun cream, bottled water, her iPod, a book, and –
Her thoughts came to a screeching halt as she spotted a familiar motorcycle coming up the road to their house. Her heart rate went up a few notches.
It was Josh. What was he doing here? He wasn’t even supposed to show up here today!
She swallowed hard, putting away her coffee cup and walking toward the front door before changing her mind and charging back to the kitchen table.
Maybe he wouldn’t even come in. Maybe he would leave again when he saw Ben’s car wasn’t here. Maybe she should have put on some more clothes. A bikini-top-short-skirt combo was definitely not in her top ten list of suitable outfits to conduct awkward conversations in. She’d been nervous about seeing Josh again for days, and this so did not help.
At that moment, the door swung open.
“Hey,” Josh said softly, stepping inside.
“Hi,” she replied just as softly. She cleared her throat, edging toward the wall to get to the trash can and throw away the empty cup of yogurt she was still holding.
“Ben’s not here,” she went on, looking back at Josh. A flush raced up her cheeks when she saw his gaze briefly linger on her breasts before settling on her face again.
“Yeah. I, uh, saw that,” he stammered. “His car’s gone.”
Hannah didn’t miss the hint of insecurity in his voice, and suddenly it dawned on her. Josh was nervous about this conversation, too. Maybe not as nervous as she was – she didn’t think it was humanly possible – but still.
“Yeah,” she managed to croak out. “He went to Page. To pick up Nick.”
Josh nodded, taking a deep breath as he stepped toward her. “Hannah. I want to say I’m sorry.”
In the silence stretching between them, she felt a stone grow in the pit of her stomach. “Sorry for what?” she finally said, her voice tight.
Josh ran a hand through his hair and let out a nervous laugh. “For being so weird around you. I can see it makes you nervous. But I can’t help it.” He looked down to the tip of his feet. “I just wish I could be normal around you. You know, like we used to be.”
Her heart beat wildly in her chest. So Josh thought she wanted things to go back to normal. Well, who could blame him? She’d frozen or freaked out whenever he’d tried to turn this into something more than it had been before.
Hannah bit her lip. “I don’t know how to hang out with you anymore either. And sometimes, I can feel you’re so distant, you know, like you’re hiding yourself?”
Oh, damn her babbling. She had to get to the point.
“It’s just difficult to be around you for me, because I like you too much,” she mumbled. There, she’d said it.
Josh looked up with wide eyes, taking another step toward her. And then, he gently caressed her cheek with soft fingers, touching the skin of her waist with his other hand, slowly running it up to her ribs. A shiver ran through her. As his brown eyes fastened on her, she was sure her heart had never beaten faster than this.
“Really?” he whispered, so full of longing it almost brought tears to her eyes. Josh bridged the small distance between them, pressing his body against hers.
Her heart skipped a beat. Then his lips kissed her mouth, soft and warm. She closed her eyes and pushed herself up toward him to meet his mouth and kiss him back. Hannah heard him gasp for breath, pressing his mouth to hers more urgently this time. She circled his waist with her arms and slid up one hand under his shirt to caress the warm skin of his back. He pressed her up against the wall, letting one hand slide up her body and briefly cup her breast before landing in her neck. She moaned almost imperceptibly. Josh caressed the sensitive spot behind her ear, running his fingers through her hair.
This was even better than she’d imagined. She’d never been kissed so cautiously, tenderly, tortuously slowly and sexily at the same time. This should never stop. Hannah softly pulled Josh even closer and kept welcoming his kisses. Somehow, this felt like they were lovers who’d been separated for years, trying to catch up on what they’d missed in mere moments. She kissed him and caressed him everywhere, keeping her eyes closed to let the moment last forever. Somehow, it felt like their bubble would burst once she looked at him again.
When Josh finally let go of her a little bit, he kept holding her, his face close to hers. Unwillingly, she opened her eyes and saw his up close.
“I could kiss you all day long,” he whispered. He touched her cheek, his breath slowing down. “But I’m scared. Scared I’ll have to talk when I stop kissing you.” He closed his eyes. “Scared I’ll have to explain to you why I’m so distant sometimes.”
“Then don’t,” Hannah replied. “Don’t stop. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.”
Josh gave her such a sweet smile she felt butterflies flitting around in her stomach. He bent over and kissed her lightly on her cheeks, her forehead, her closed eyelids.
“I’ve never felt this connected to anyone, you know that?” she whispered breathlessly into his ear.
His arm slid around her waist. “I haven’t felt like this for a very long time,” he confessed in a husky voice, and for some reason, it didn’t sound strange. It felt like Josh had waited all these years for her to come back to the reservation.
He gazed into her eyes. “Ayor anosh’ni,” he mumbled, almost inaudibly.
Hannah closed her eyes and savored his words. He had always loved her, but now it was different. Now it was so much more.
And then, a wave of dizziness crashed over her out of nowhere, like someone had smacked her on the head. In a flash, she saw Josh’s older face – the face from her dreams. The Josh who tried to save her night after night, whispering that he loved her in Diné Bizaad.
With a start, she opened her eyes. The vision had been so life-like. She stared at Josh, shivering when he stared back at her with the same amount of shock in his eyes. He stepped backwards, letting go of her hands.
“Josh,” she stammered, confused. “What’s the matter?”
He bit his lip, a look of muted sadness in his eyes. “Nothing.” He stroked the back of her hand, sighing deeply. “Give me time.”
“Okay,” Hannah agreed, even though his sudden mood change confused her. No matter how strangely he behaved, he was worth having patience for.
Suddenly, the approached sound of Ben’s Chevy disrupted their embrace. Hannah shot a glance out the window.
“Ben’s back,” she said.
“Yeah.” Josh cleared his throat. “I didn’t come to see him.”
She blushed. “Oh.”
He smiled and turned a bit red himself, slowly letting go of her.
“So, you want to sneak out before he comes i
n?” Hannah giggled nervously.
Josh chuckled in response. “Nah, that’s okay. I’ll stay.”
When Ben and Nick entered the kitchen, Hannah was sitting at the dinner table and Josh was leaning against the counter, sipping from the cup of coffee she’d left there.
“Hey!” Ben arched his eyebrows. “What are you doing here?”
“We were meeting up here, right?” Josh asked, trying his best to sound clueless.
“Uhm, no. We were supposed to meet up in Naabi’aani. Which seems the logical course of action. To me, at least.”
“Aren’t we picking up stuff at Yazzie’s?”
“Nick and I offered to do that.” Ben grinned. “Idiot.”
“Oh, well,” Josh shrugged. “I’ll join you guys then, since I’m here anyway.”
“Are we leaving now?” Nick asked.
“Yazzie won’t have our gear ready before eleven,” Ben said with a glance at the clock. “Let’s have a drink and run through the list to see if we have everything.” He turned to Hannah. “You going to the beach?”
“Yeah, in a minute. I want to make some sandwiches before I leave.”
She got up and walked to the counter, reaching out for the jar of peanut butter behind Josh. Her arm touched his, and a pleasant tingling sensation shot through her body. She looked sideways. Josh returned her private stare, smiling slightly. Blushing, she looked away again. He really had the power to set her on fire – too bad he was leaving for that hike today.
When Hannah stepped outside and passed Ben on the porch, he stopped her. “What was that look you shared with Josh in the kitchen?” he inquired, eyeing her with a playful smile.
“What look?” she said innocently.
Ben tilted his head. “How long had he been here when I came back?”
“Long enough,” Hannah replied with flushed cheeks. She couldn’t help grinning when Ben took her hand and squeezed it.
“Great,” he beamed. “I’m happy for you. Not to mention off the hook. This means I don’t have to pull off a full-blown ‘hit-on-my-sister-you-slowpoke’ propaganda program anymore.”
Hannah burst out laughing. “You were gonna do that? How sweet.”
“Of course, sis.” He eyed her seriously. “Feel better, okay? Promise me you’ll talk to Em and the police.”
“Yeah, will do.” She was looking forward to meeting Emily – she’d have something to tell her besides sinister stalking stories.
After Josh, Ben and Nick had left for Wahweap at a quarter to eleven, Hannah locked up the cabin and walked down to the beach, humming a tune to herself. Her problems hadn’t disappeared completely, but this morning had definitely cheered her up – a lot.
11.
That afternoon, the Greenes’ car pulled around the bend just as Hannah returned from the beach. Paul honked and waved at her as he parked. A few seconds later, the entire family spilled out of the car, looking sun-tanned and upbeat. Except Ivy, Hannah noticed as she veered off to say hi to her neighbors. The eldest girl looked sick.
“How was Monument Valley?” Hannah inquired.
“Amazing,” Ivy replied. “But way too hot for me. I have a splitting headache. Amber thinks I’ve got heatstroke.”
“Will you join us for dinner tonight, Hannah?” Sarah said warmly. “Amber invited Emily too, so it’d be sad if you were sitting all by yourself one door down.”
In the meantime, Ivy staggered inside to lie down. Paul and Sarah got back in the car to get some groceries in Page, and Amber walked with Hannah to the other cabin so they could chat without keeping Ivy awake.
Amber’s eye was caught by Yazzie’s motorcycle on the drive. “Hey, who left the bike here?”
“Josh did.” Hannah couldn’t help blushing a bit. “He was here this morning.”
Amber’s eyes widened. “Wait a minute. Why the flustered look?”
“Well. He came here to talk. To me.”
“Uh-huh,” Amber pushed. “So?”
“So, he wanted to apologize for being so weird around me lately.”
“And? Did he succeed?”
“Yeah, he did. I couldn’t be angry anymore when he kissed me.”
Amber’s face split into a grin so wide it almost didn’t fit on her face. “Oh my God! That’s awesome, I’m so excited for you!”
“I know, right? I’m so happy. But, I’m also still confused. All those weird dreams I’m having about him – and I know he shuts people out, but I don’t know why.”
“Well, you have all summer to figure him out. I wouldn’t worry about it.”
“His behavior is not what worries me most. It’s my nightmares.”
“They’ve become worse?”
Hannah fell silent. The last time she’d told Amber about her dreams, she’d only seen Josh and the primitive village under attack. In the meantime, the terrifying vision of the snowy landscape and the shapeshifters at Rainbow Bridge had come into the equation. Amber didn’t know about those things yet – only Emily and Nick had heard that story.
“I can’t even sleep without taking pills anymore,” she mumbled. “At least when I take a sleeping pill, I sleep so deeply I don’t dream. Or at least, I don’t remember it. Without them, I have such horrible nightmares that I shout bloody murder in my sleep. Ben woke me this morning because I was screaming and crying.”
Amber shot her a perplexed look. “No way. So what do you dream about?”
Hannah shivered despite the heat. “I can’t really explain. There’s always an onmipresent feeling of danger. Soldiers are attacking the village, murdering people. But my last few nightmares featured these sinister apparitions looking like shadows. There’s always three of them. They stare at me, or ... ” She took a deep breath. “Or they change into some kind of monsters.”
Amber shook her head. “I’m sorry, but that doesn’t sound like a normal response to being harassed by a bunch of drunks. It’s almost like – like you’re bewitched or something. You saw something scary when you went to Rainbow Bridge with us too, right? Some kind of vision? Emily mentioned witches when I talked to her about people without auras. Plus, some years ago I read a lot of stuff about voodoo and witchcraft where people cast a spell on you or jinx you. Something like that might be happening to you.”
“What else did Emily say?”
“I don’t remember exactly. She’ll be here any minute. Maybe we should wait for her.”
Hannah suddenly smiled, giving Amber a cheeky look. “Yeah, I heard you invited Emily for dinner. So what’s the deal between you two?”
Amber’s face turned as red as her hair. “We have this thing,” she said shyly.
Grinning widely, Hannah got up to get a bottle of soda from the kitchen. She was just pouring drinks for Amber and herself when she heard Emily’s old Beetle outside, coming up the road and screeching to a stop next to the cabin with a cracking exhaust pipe.
“Hi!” she called out cheerfully, stepping onto the porch. She hugged Hannah, quickly kissed Amber on the lips, then sat down. “How’s your day been, girls?”
“Good. I just got back from Monument Valley. It was fantastic,” Amber said.
“And yours?” Emily turned to Hannah.
“Can’t complain. I kissed Josh.”
“Really?!” Emily’s voice shot up two octaves. “When?”
Hannah spun the story of how Josh had visited her in the cabin that morning. Emily smiled, but a hint of doubt still lingered on her face. That was no surprise – after all, her friend had warned her about Josh’s inexplicable mood swings, and in all fairness, she was right.
“So let’s talk about your dreams and visions.” Emily dug up a notepad and pencil from her bag. “When did they start?”
“I was harassed by the lake on Thursday night. Ben and Josh picked me up because I ran out of fuel. That night, I had my first nightmare.”
“What did you dream about?”
“About a traditional village.” Hannah closed her eyes to recall the images. “A Navajo
village. With primitive hoghans, the kind with dried-up clay on the outside. People were wearing old-fashioned clothes, and the village was attacked by Mexicans.”
“How do you know they were Mexicans?”
“Did they wear sombreros?” Amber inquired.
Hannah couldn’t help stifling a nervous laugh. “Not the big ones. They wore some kind of smaller hats, uniforms, and they spoke Spanish. In my dream, they clearly sounded Mexican. After that first nightmare, I dreamed about the attack several more times, and it’s always the same people burning down the village.”
“So, what are they doing exactly?” Emily continued.
“Like I said, the village is burning. I think they set it on fire. In my dream, I’m running from the soldiers, looking for someone who I know can protect me.”
“And that person is...?” Emily scribbled down a few notes and then looked up at Hannah expectantly.
“Josh,” Hannah confessed with red cheeks. “But he looks different. Older. He’s also wearing traditional clothes, and his hair is up in a bun like last Saturday at the rodeo. He seems about thirty years old.”
“Is he your lover in that part of the dream?” Emily asked.
Hannah hesitated. She suddenly realized something new. “No. No, he isn’t. I can feel he’s really important to me, but he is not my husband. Not anymore.” She fell silent. That was an interesting discovery.
Emily pondered over the things she’d written down. “So, does he save you in the end?”
“I have no idea. I’m hiding from those Mexicans, and Josh sees me, but he looks away on purpose so he won’t alert the Mexicans to my presence. After that, I make a sort of leap in time, and the next thing I see is the hilltop where I leave him.”
“Tell me more.” Emily picked up her pencil again.
“We are near a precipice looking out over Canyon de Chelly – I think. He tells me a story in Diné Bizaad, looking solemn. I get up and walk away from him, because I feel an overwhelming urge to be free. It feels like – like breaking up.”
Amber and Emily stared at her nonplussed. “That’s quite a saga,” Emily mumbled. “And that eerie feeling? Was it there the first time you had a strange dream?”
