The Amish Potato Farmer's Widow

by Samantha Price

  “It’s on.”

  She closed her eyes and more than anything she wanted the test to be positive. It would be sad that the child arrived after Malachi had gone, but she would have his child and that would ease the pain of losing him. A child would brighten up all their lives.

  “Okay, what does it say now?”

  Jeanie looked at the stick and screamed, causing the midwife to open the door.

  “You’re pregnant?”

  “Jah. Look.” Jeanie held out the stick. “I am, aren’t I?”

  “You are.” The two women hugged each other and Jeanie couldn’t stop jumping around for joy.

  “I can’t believe it. Is it real? Could this be wrong?”

  “The test? Highly unlikely.”

  “I can’t wait to tell everyone. No, wait. I won’t just now. You’ll keep it quiet, won’t you?”

  “That’s part of the job. I won’t say anything to anyone ever. The news of this has to come from you.”

  She hugged Sandra again and then picked up the stick. “Denke, Sandra. I’m going to be a Mamm at last. I never thought this would happen. Someone will call me Mamm.” Tears streamed down her face. “I never thought I’d hold my own boppli in my arms. I’ll have Malachi’s child to love.”

  Sandra put an arm around her. “You’ve been blessed. Gott has sent you comfort after the tragedy.”

  “Jah. Jah, He has.” After a moment, Jeanie asked, “What happens now?”

  Together they worked out how far along Jeanie was. “Nothing for a few weeks. I’ll check on you every month until you’re around five months and then I’ll see you more often.”

  After Sandra left, Jeanie went out into the fields and did a few hours work before Magda came home. Just as Jeanie was preparing the evening meal, Magda came home. Jeanie looked out the kitchen window and saw Werner taking over looking after the horse and then Magda headed to the house. She couldn’t wait to tell her the news.

  When Magda walked into the kitchen, Jeanie said, “Sit down. I have news for you.”

  “I have news too.”

  Jeanie laughed. “Mine’s more important.”

  “So’s mine,” Magda said.

  “Tell me yours first then.”

  Magda shook her head. “Go on. Tell me yours.”

  Jeanie inhaled a quick breath as her heart pitter-pattered with excitement. “Well, I had Sandra here today.”

  Magda’s eyebrows rose as she looked around. “I would’ve cleaned up better before I left if I’d known you were having visitors. The haus-work has been let go since Malachi’s not been here.”

  “Who cares about the haus? It’s fine anyway.” Jeanie stared at her mother-in-law waiting for her to guess why Sandra was there. “You do know what Sandra does, don’t you?”

  “Jah, she makes quilts and we get a lot of money at auction time for them. She’s got such a good eye for colors and design. Gott has given her a gift.”

  When Magda finally sat down, Jeanie pulled out the chair beside her and sat. “And what else does she do?”

  “She’s the midwife.”

  She stared at Magda.

  “Why are you smiling like that?”

  “Magda, I can’t believe you.” Jeanie shook her head.

  “What have I done?” Magda put a hand to her mouth looking confused as though she’d forgotten something.

  “Take a guess why the midwife would be here to see me. Why would I have called her to see me?”

  Magda’s jaw dropped open and her eyes bugged. “You’re not!”

  Chapter 13

  Jeanie nodded. “I am. According to her and the little stick thing. Ninety-nine point nine percent sure.”

  Magda squealed and then laughed. “This is the best news I’ve ever had in my life. I’m finally going to be a grossmammi. Didn’t I ask you, didn’t I ask you whether you were?”

  “You did. You were right.”

  Magda grabbed Jeanie’s face, placed her hands on her cheeks and kissed her forehead. “Denke, Jeanie. That’s what I’ve been waiting for. I thought it’d never happen.”

  “Me too. It’s such a shock. That explains why I’ve been so tired, I guess.”

  “And grumpy,” Magda said.

  Jeanie looked into Magda’s green eyes. “Have I?”

  “Jah. I just thought it was grief.”

  “Must be hormones. I had no idea I was like that.”

  “Nee. I was only joking.” Magda giggled like a young girl.

  It made Jeanie even happier to see Magda so delighted.

  Then Magda stopped smiling. “You can’t let him know.”

  “Werner?”

  “Nee. You can’t let Amos know.”

  “Well, he’s going to find out sooner or later. I can’t keep a secret like this for too long.”

  Magda stared at her and slowly shook her head. “I heard something.”

  “What is it?”

  “He’s been fooling you as much as you have him.”

  Jeanie frowned trying to figure out what she was talking about. “How so?”

  “Amos has got someone interested in buying the farm and he’s been using us to keep it nice until the sale goes through.”

  “What? Nee. It can’t be true. He wouldn’t. No one’s come to look over the farm.”

  “I’m sure of it. That’s what my news was. I must say, I like your news better.”

  “Has a sale gone through?” Jeanie thought back over the last few Saturdays she’d spent with Amos. He’d not mentioned a thing.

  “Nee, I said someone is interested in it. I heard it at the quilting bee. Someone knows someone who knew someone else who was talking about buying our farm.”

  “I can’t believe it. He’s been using me?” At first, she was horrified and then all she could do was laugh. She laughed at herself for being so resistant to Amos and then for being so lonely she wanted more of Amos’s company. She could see the humorous side of what was happening in her life. It wasn’t long, though, before her laughter turned into tears. Their dream was going to be lost and there was nothing she could do about it. Then there was the child whom Malachi would never see. With the baby coming, the farm was more important than ever.

  Magda leaned forward again and encircled her arms about her. “I’m sorry.”

  “Me too,” she managed to say through tears.

  “I never should’ve talked you into this thing with Amos. It was a good idea, though, wasn’t it? I thought your problems would vanish if you married him. I wanted you to have what you should’ve had.”

  Jeanie wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “It was a terrible idea but it was my fault for agreeing. I was doing it for you and for Werner.”

  “What shall we do now?”

  Now, Jeanie wanted Amos to fall in love with her. Not because she loved him but as a way of getting back at him. No one messed with her and got away with it. She stared at Magda. “Amos will ask me to marry him if that’s the last thing I do on this earth. That man will fall in love with me and then he’ll do anything I say.”

  Magda pressed her lips together. “Never make a decision in anger.”

  “Anger is all I have left.”

  “You have to think of the boppli.”

  “That’s who I’m thinking about.”

  “Are you doing this because you want your boppli to have a vadder?”

  “The baby has a father.”

  “I know that. That’s not what I meant. Amos is the ideal match for you. History’s repeated itself. I was in love with my first husband, and not the second. Mind you, I grew into a kind of a love for him. Now it’s happening to you.”

  Jeanie closed her eyes and covered her face with her hands. Could she bring a baby into the world alone? Malachi would never hold his baby, never see his child grow. Tears streamed down her face. “Why now, Magda? Why couldn’t I have had this boppli when we first got married?”

  Magda pulled Jeanie’s hands away from her face. “Because that’s not Gott�
�s timing. All things under the sun have the right time. Now is your time. Gott has blessed you. Don’t go thinking otherwise.”

  “You’re right. I’m pleased, I am. I know this is a miracle and I shouldn’t look upon it as being anything else. I’ve longed for my own child for ages. It’s been agony watching women get married and then having kinner less than a year later. I’ve tried so hard not to be jealous when I see pregnant women or young mothers with their kinner. I’ve always felt like such a failure. Malachi kept telling me to relax and it would happen and now it has. He was right.”

  “When will you let everyone know?”

  “Magda, you know I can’t.”

  Magda’s eyes sparkled. “That’s what I was hoping you’d say.”

  “Now that I’m pregnant, keeping the farm is even more vital. That’s what Malachi would’ve wanted. We must get the farm for him, Magda, we must.”

  “But, at what cost?”

  Jeanie wiped her eyes. “Anything it takes.”

  “Your child is going to need a vadder and if you can convince Amos to marry you, all the better.”

  “I don’t want to have to convince anyone.”

  Magda put her elbows onto the table. “That’s not what I meant, exactly, but if he happens to fall in love with you …”

  “Do you think there’s a chance the rumor you heard today could be wrong?”

  “There’s a chance, but I believe it’s true.”

  “We have to hope they’re wrong. I have to find out.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  Jeanie stood and grabbed her coat from the peg by the back door. “I’m going to visit him. And, Magda don’t forget, we have to keep news of my pregnancy secret from Werner. I don’t want him to have the burden of being quiet about it.”

  “Okay. I won’t say a thing.”

  “Good.”

  “I’ll help you hitch the buggy. You have to be careful with yourself.”

  “I feel fine.”

  Magda stood up. “Jah, but all the same, you’re carrying my grandchild.”

  Jeanie giggled. “You’re such a worrier.”

  “You’ll be the same once you have a child.”

  Both women walked outside to get the buggy ready.

  Once Jeanie was alone in her buggy and out on the open road, she thought more about what she’d say to Amos. She had no idea and nothing came to her. She closed her eyes for a moment and enjoyed the cold fresh air on her skin. Her usual way was to face problems head on. That wouldn’t work this time. She had to be strategic just in case Amos was being that way too. If Amos really had a buyer for the farm, she’d find out somehow. Then her mind raced wondering who the buyer was; whether it was someone she knew or whether there was no one at all.

  Chapter 14

  Driving the buggy, Jeanie let out a sigh. She wanted to scream and would’ve done so if she’d had more energy. She had thought all her problems were solved when Zelda left. Now the problems were twice as bad. Looking down, she placed her hand over her belly. “I can’t wait until you’re born. I’ve so many things to teach you about life. I’m not being a good example right now, but this will pass and then I’ll behave like a proper mudder and show you how to be a good young man or young lady. You won’t have your Dat, but you’ll have a nice onkel, and the best grossmammi ever.”

  Before she knew it, she was pulling into Amos’s driveway and she still didn’t know what she was going to say.

  He came toward her with a worried face.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked.

  “It’s Zelda, she’s coming back and she doesn’t know about … She didn’t ask if …”

  Jeanie’s heart sank. “Oh, that’s not good.”

  “I’ll tell her when she gets here.”

  Jeanie knew he meant that he’d tell Zelda that they’d been spending time together. “Why didn’t you tell her before she left to come here?”

  “I couldn’t. She was already here, at the train station.”

  “What will you do?”

  “I’ll tell her that you and I …”

  “Oh, Amos, we don’t really know what you and I are doing.” For all her anger and plotting, she couldn’t stand between Amos and Zelda if they were truly meant to be together. The question loomed of whether he’d want her if he knew she was having Malachi’s child.

  He raised his dark eyebrows. “I hope we both feel the same. I’ve never had these feelings for anyone. What I have with you …” He gulped. “I feel, it’s different from anything I’ve ever felt.”

  Those words were what she wanted to hear and the farm left her mind completely. “Really?”

  “I wouldn’t lie to you.”

  She took a step closer. “I’ve heard some things.”

  “What do you mean? Things about what?”

  “That you have a buyer for the farm and you’re making us work hard and then you’ll sell it out from under us.”

  His eyes grew wide. “Who said such things?”

  “I’m not sure. It was second, and maybe third hand information, but sometimes there’s truth in those kinds of things.”

  “Is that what you think of me, Jeanie?”

  She swallowed hard. “I don’t want to think that, but you didn’t give us the farm and it would’ve been Malachi’s if only he’d gone and signed for it when you told him the paperwork was ready.”

  “We’ve been over and over this so many times, Jeanie. We’re never going to agree on it.”

  She sensed his annoyance. “Things will have to change between us now that Zelda is back.”

  “Nee. I’ll tell Zelda the truth as soon as she arrives,” he said.

  “Where’s she staying? I heard someone’s already moved into the haus where she was living.”

  “She said she’s been invited to stay with Bishop Luke and Ruth.”

  Jeanie hoped Zelda’s return wouldn’t awaken old feelings within him. “I should go.”

  “Don’t. Stay with me. She won’t be here for some time.”

  “Okay.”

  They walked to the porch and he pulled a chair closer for her to sit. Once they were both seated, he said, “I have a confession to make.” She held her breath. “I haven’t been entirely straightforward with you.”

  “Go on.”

  “In the beginning, I didn’t give the farm to you because I wanted to see more of you and that was the only contact I had with you. I didn’t want you to watch potatoes grow without thinking of me.”

  She rubbed the side of her face as she listened. “This is surprising to hear.”

  “I had feelings for you before you chose Malachi, and yet I was glad for him to have you as his fraa. I never thought he’d have misfortune in his life and leave you a widow, but it’s happened. I knew I couldn’t move too quickly, but neither did I want to let you slip from my life a second time.”

  That confirmed his feelings for her were real. She was the one being deceiving. A tear escaped her eye and she looked away from him.

  “Why have I upset you?”

  “It’s not you. It’s just that I’m so mixed up. All I could think about was the farm and what we’d lose if we didn’t have it. We all worked so hard.”

  “I hope the farm’s not all you’re thinking about these days?”

  “Zelda is …”

  “Zelda has nothing to do with us.”

  “But she’s coming back here because she likes you. To take up where things left off.” Things weren’t adding up. If he didn't have feelings for Zelda, what was the talk about Zelda’s brothers taking over?

  He sighed. “I met her and we got along. Two months later, she shows up here thinking we’re boyfriend and girlfriend. She even rented that house before I knew about it.”

  “Weren’t you in a relationship?”

  “I was forced into it before I knew what was happening. I never asked her to come here.”

  “But you wanted her brothers to take over the farm?”

  “She
wanted them to move here. I felt obligated and didn’t know where things were going in my life. I don’t want to be single and alone forever, Jeanie.”

  She nodded and looked up at the fluffy clouds gently floating along with the breeze. “I can understand that.”

  “If Malachi hadn’t died, I might’ve ended up marrying her. Who knows?”

  “I don’t want to get in your way, or in Zelda’s way.” She felt sorry for Zelda coming back all that way thinking he’d be happy to see her.

  “You’ve brightened my life and given —”

  “Don’t say any more, Amos.”

  He chuckled. “Why not? Don’t you want to hear how I’ve come to care for you? I thought my chance was lost many years ago.”

  She bit her lip. Now she had to tell him about the baby. It wasn’t fair to keep it from him now that she knew his intentions were only good. He once said that she’d have no problem finding another husband because she had no kinner. That could only mean one thing. He didn’t want to raise another man’s child. If he could have a chance with Zelda, she didn’t want to ruin that for him or for her.

  “There’s something I must tell you.”

  “It’s okay. I know you’ll never love me like you did Malachi and I’m okay with that.”

  Then they heard a car. “Here she is. She’s early. I don’t know how she got here so fast.”

  Jeanie jumped to her feet and then got a little dizzy and had to sit back down. “This isn’t good that she sees me here. We’ll have to say we were discussing business.”

  He frowned at her. “I’ll say nothing of the kind. She must know the truth.”

  “Are you sure of your feelings?” There was no time to tell him about the boppli now. Not with Zelda breathing down their necks.

  “I am.”

  “But I need to tell you something.”

  “Why don’t you go home? I’ll stop by later and then we can talk about anything you want.”

  Zelda got out of the taxi and stared over at the two of them. Amos left the porch and walked over to her and Jeanie followed close behind. She’d say hello and goodbye, and then get out of there as fast as she could. She could tell by Zelda’s pained expression that she didn’t approve of Jeanie being at Amos’s home.