Circle in the Sand (Oceanic Dreams #3)

by Tracy Krimmer

  Jack pulled out a chair for me, and before I sat down, I glanced back at Asher. The wide grin on his face reinforced what Jack said. I didn’t want to intrude on him if he were eating dinner with his next romantic rendezvous. Asher never didn’t have a girlfriend or a female companion. This woman, who appeared to have stepped directly out of an eighties music video, could be his next one.

  “Thank you,” I said as I sat down. I appreciated him taking the time to pull out my chair. Men didn’t do those types of things these days. Tim never did it. Not once.

  “I’m not sure about you, but I’m starving. The only thing I’ve eaten today were those pretzels at the bar.”

  Ew. I never ate bar pretzels. Too many people putting their hands in the same bowl grossed me out. If there was one thing I wanted to avoid while on this cruise, it was contracting norovirus. I read up on it before we left, and while it’s not common, it seemed to happen more than I cared to know. Any time a cruise ship made news it was usually because the entire ship had gotten sick. No, thank you. I didn’t pay almost five thousand dollars to spend it in the bathroom throwing up.

  A man and a woman bounced over to our table. “Mind if we join you?” the woman with brown hair halfway down her back asked in a spirited voice.

  “Yeah, that’s fine.” I pointed to the empty chairs. “We’d be glad to have you.”

  The woman sat down, and the man took the chair next to her. He looked younger than her, with a smoother complexion and less lines on his face. He wore too much product in his hair, and it appeared almost greasy. A small curl flopped out of the top onto his forehead.

  “I’m Heather, and this is my husband, Dan.” She rubbed her hand on his back in a circular motion as she smiled at us, her teeth bright and perfect as if she stepped out of a teeth whitening commercial.

  “I’m Isla, and this is Jack.” I introduced us as if we were a couple. Our names shouldn’t have been put together. I couldn’t backtrack, though, and have Jack introduce himself.

  “You’re married, huh? I take it you’re not a part of the singles events, then.”

  Great observation, Jack, I thought. Of course, they weren’t.

  “No, we’re not. But we are hoping to meet someone.”

  “Excuse me?” I couldn’t have heard Heather correctly. “Meet someone?”

  “Oh, well, Dan and I have a—how should I put this?—an open relationship. We came on the cruise hoping to meet another couple who may be open to the same type of thing.” Heather blinked her eyes at me, and if a blink could be called seductive, this was just that.

  I stopped myself from spitting out my water and, as a result, started to choke on it. I swallowed it awkwardly and then coughed as I tried to regain my composure.

  “Are you okay, Isla?” Jack gently put his hand on my arm. “Do you need me to get someone?”

  I shook my head as I slapped my hand against my chest. “I’m okay. Sorry about that. I don't know what happened.” Though I knew exactly what happened. If I read the facial features correctly, we’d been propositioned by swingers. That’d be a hard pass.

  “Actually, Isla and I only just met a few hours ago.” Jack to the rescue. Thank you, Jack. “We're still getting to know each other. Isn’t that right?”

  I smiled at him. “Yes, it is. And I'm more of a one at a time kind of gal.” I directed my response to Heather.

  “We can take turns,” Heather said, apparently trying to kill me. I decided to keep water out of my mouth as long as these two sat at our table.

  “If you don't mind me saying, I don't think I've ever met somebody quite as open as you.” And I didn’t really have a choice to stand up and walk away without being rude. Though, their conversation wasn’t exactly polite either. The old Isla might have walked away but not Cruise Ship Isla.

  Dan took the reins of the conversation. “We just feel it's best to be honest up front. So much time is wasted dancing around what people really want. If you’re straightforward from the beginning, then there’s no worthless moments.”

  I understood that more than anyone. That’s why I tried to be honest with any man I saw any potential with. I wanted to have a happily ever after. It was essential to who I was, and I loved being in love. I dreamed of the fairytale wedding, marriage, kids. Dating someone without the same goals seemed pointless. Tim put me through that. I refused to waste any more of my life.

  “You say that you two just met, right?” Dan waited for both Jack and me to nod in acknowledgment. “What’s one truth about yourself that you think Jack should know right now?” Dan asked me directly.

  I hated questions like that. It's not that I couldn't answer an open-ended question. It was just that it always seemed like when you wanted to come up with an answer, that's when you couldn't. I didn't really know what to say. So I said the only thing that came to mind.

  “Well, since you want me to be honest, I want to get married. I’m turning thirty in just a few days, and I don't want to waste my time with somebody if there’s not a future.” I took a deep breath, afraid to say it even though I’d already thought it. This was the one thing that made men run. “Jack, I’m not looking for a one-night stand. If I involve myself with someone, I’m in it for the long haul. If you don’t share the same thoughts, then we shouldn’t even waste our time.”

  Had I really said that? Did I even mean it? The whole point of the trip was to let loose, and if I hooked up with someone, fine. I wasn’t supposed to commit to anyone. These next few days meant allowing myself to have fun and not feel any guilt. Jack and I didn’t need to spend our lives together. I knew that we wouldn’t. Yet, here I was committing myself as always, and he was more than likely searching for the nearest exit, ready to jump ship if necessary.

  “Wow.” Jack ran his fingers through that thick mane of his, every hair bouncing back to its original location. “That's pretty much the definition of being straightforward.”

  This was where I imagined him standing up, bidding me farewell, and disappearing. Except he didn’t. Against everything I thought he’d do, he did the opposite.

  “Well, allow me to be honest as well. I’m very much in search of the same thing. I’ve dated my share of women after Joanna, and I want to settle down. I want the house, the picket fence, the kids. My mom is nagging me every chance she gets about grandkids. Do you want kids, Isla?”

  “Do I want kids? Yes. Three. Two boys first, then a girl.” Yes, I was aware that I couldn’t control that but I had imagined it so many times and that’s how it played out in my dreams. “I keep getting older, though, so my window keeps closing.”

  “Maybe I can help keep it open.” Jack put his hand on top of mine, making my heart flutter. We’d only just met, but he knew the exact things to say. I hoped that wasn’t all it was too—just him saying things to have his way with me. I didn’t have time for games.

  Heather clapped her hands together a few times and laughed. “See how great that was?”

  “That did feel pretty good,” I said. “I’m still not open to what you two suggested, but I understand and appreciate the whole thing about being honest from the get-go.”

  Heather leaned over and kissed Dan as though they had accomplished some big task by having Jack and me be honest with each other.

  “How long have you two been married?” I found myself wanting to know as much as I could about the two of them. Their lifestyle intrigued me, even if I’d never consider it for myself. I certainly didn’t judge them or the way they chose to maintain their marriage. All that mattered was they made each other happy and nobody got hurt in the process of their open marriage.

  “Actually, I proposed to Heather on a cruise fifteen years ago.”

  “And three years after that, we pledged our love to each other on that same ship.” Heather beamed as she discussed her marriage to Dan. The love between them was clear. They stole kisses from each other, and Heather kept looping her arm in Dan’s and putting her head on his shoulder.

  “Now we ta
ke a cruise every two years.” Dan kissed Heather’s forehead.

  Every two years? While the trip was not outrageously expensive, it wasn't exactly a drop in the bucket either. I saved for the cruise for the better part of a year. There would be no way it would ever be even remotely possible for me to do this every two years. Even every three or four. Especially if I planned on getting married at some point in my life and having kids. Which led me to my next question.

  “Do you two have any kids?” I found it hard to imagine having children with a marriage such as theirs. Would the kids ask questions and wonder why mom and dad had boyfriends or girlfriends? Or did they keep it all a secret? I didn’t know how all of it worked, and I was curious.

  “No. We can't have children.” The two looked at each other lovingly.

  “I’m sorry. I didn't know.” Way to stick my foot in my mouth again. First Asher and now this nice couple. Complete strangers. I wouldn’t blame them if they got up and walked away from us. I should have known better than to ask such a personal question. Then again, they told us to be honest and open. They seemed to not be afraid to discuss anything.

  “Don't worry about it, Isla,” Heather said as she waved her hand at me. “You couldn’t have known. And it’s not like I wear a stamp on my head announcing it.”

  “No, but I shouldn’t have asked.” But people normally asked that question, right? I wasn’t doing something out of the ordinary by asking. I supposed the ruder thing would have been to ask them why they couldn’t have kids. Was it a choice? Something they tried and weren’t successful? I kept my mouth shut, though, not wanting to force myself to duct tape my mouth shut the remainder of the trip.

  “Don't worry about it,” Dan said. “We've known this for years and have come to terms with it. At first it used to bother us when people asked and practically expected it of us, but now we accept it and take our time enjoying ourselves.”

  And other people, I thought to myself. But I knew enough to keep that to myself.

  “For what it's worth, I think you two look like an amazing couple.” Heather smiled at us as she held Dan's hand. “You complement each other.”

  “Thank you,” Jack said. “Even though we just met, I have a really good feeling about her, and my instincts are great.”

  I didn't know how to respond. Did I think he was coming on too strong? I didn’t know. Was he serious or really good at playing along? I didn’t want the answer. At this point, I only wanted to eat.

  When our dinner arrived, we chatted about the most mundane things like our favorite TV shows and what kind of students we were in school and how we liked our toast. I imagined if Charlotte had been there we would have gotten the lowdown on all the ways to have avocado toast.

  Most of the meal I forgot about Asher, rather enjoying my time with Jack. It turned out he wasn’t so bad. At times he came off a tad arrogant, but overall his conversation was more than bearable. Pleasant, even.

  I caught sight of Asher in my peripheral vision. Without making it too obvious, I watched as he and the blonde seemed to get pretty comfortable. She had her arm through his, and in between her laughs, she placed her head on his shoulder and then lifted it back up, much like Heather had been doing with Dan. They gave off a vibe as though they’d been a couple for a long time. Barf. I ignored them and went back to my dinner.

  We all saved enough room for dessert. I didn’t hold back and ate every bite of my molten brownie cake topped with ice cream and fudge. By the time we finished, I couldn’t eat another bite. Heather and Dan said they wanted to get back to their room, but I thought maybe they planned on trying to recruit another couple. I liked them, though. While I wasn’t open to their invitation, I did hope to talk with them a bit more during the trip.

  After the two left us, Jack slid a little closer to me. “Would you like me to walk you back to your cabin?”

  I appreciated the offer. I found Jack attractive and didn’t mind having dinner with him, but I didn’t want to bring him back to my room on the first night we met. Doing so would certainly prove to Charlotte that I could be spontaneous and manage a one-night stand, but I didn’t want to compromise my own comfort to please her.

  “Thank you for the offer, but I think I’ll manage.”

  Jack took his pinkie finger and moved the strands from in front of my ear to behind. “Are you sure?”

  His tone turned me off a bit. I imagined allowing him to walk me back and him deciding that meant something different. I didn’t even want to give the chance for him to misinterpret anything.

  “Yes, I’m sure. Thank you, though.”

  “Suit yourself.” He shrugged.

  Wow. Did that just happen? I thought we were getting along great, and because I didn’t want to invite him into my bed the first night of the cruise, he copped an attitude? Not cool.

  “See you around.” Jack stood from his chair and left the table, leaving me there alone and speechless. Wait until Charlotte heard about this.

  I watched him walk away, replaying dinner in my head. He said he had the same goals as me, but clearly that wasn’t the case. I chuckled and took a drink of water, crunching on the ice. Maybe Joanna wasn’t even real. He would have been a good hookup for Charlotte but not for me.

  Once I finished my water, I decided to go back to our stateroom. I didn’t see Asher in the dining room anymore. If he was back in the room, I could tell him what happened. He’d get a kick out of it. I started back to our room but couldn’t quite remember how to get there. After multiple wrong turns, I finally gave up and asked someone before I ended up in the ocean.

  I approached the door, pulling my keycard out. As I went to swipe it, I overheard voices inside. My ear to the door, I couldn’t make out what they were saying. A woman laughed, and right away I knew. He brought that woman back to the room. Nothing on the door. He didn’t even warn me.

  Ugh. I stomped my foot on the ground. I wanted to lie down and go to sleep. Forget about the day so far. I contemplated walking in, pretending I didn’t realize someone was in there with him, but I also didn’t want to walk in on anything pornographic. The last thing I wanted to see was Asher’s bare ass.

  I turned around and headed back the way I came. I needed to get the hell out of there.

  Chapter Six

  Put out of my room the first night on the cruise. To say my frustration level was high was an understatement. I kept trying to push the images of Asher and that woman together out of my head. I even considered for a second—a very short second—searching for Jack and suggesting we head to his cabin.

  I wasn’t jealous. I was mad. How could Asher do this? I told him I didn’t plan on hooking up with anyone and he pretty much said the same. Yet he brought some random woman back to our cabin, which then made me the third wheel.

  I shook my head. I couldn’t be selfish. This was what he did. Asher doing this wasn’t anything I hadn’t seen before. Whatever. I passed by multiple bars as I contemplated searching for Jack out of spite. I wasn’t that kind of person, though. My anger toward Asher bubbled up inside me, and I picked up the pace in my stride until I found myself on the pool deck.

  The long, wide pool was lit up at night, lounge chairs surrounding it. Along the edge of the ship, another layer of chairs was set up. There was even a bar and a hot tub. I wasn’t dressed in my swimwear—and I couldn’t very well go back to my room for my suit—so I found an available lounge chair and settled in. I pushed the back almost all the way down and closed my eyes, the warm air touching my skin, soothing me into a slumber, light enough that I could still hear the splashing in the pool and the voices around me.

  I wished Charlotte were here. She’d be poolside with me, probably a daiquiri in her hand, laughing and people watching. She loved to try and guess where people were from and what they did for a living. I wanted to call her but promised myself I would only call or text in an emergency. I didn’t want to deal with international charges. I did give her the okay to call me on my birthday.

&
nbsp; I cozied up on the lounge chair, my eyes still shut and my breath deepening. As I started to doze off, I pictured myself in front of the cabin door. I reached for the door handle and pulled back immediately, not sure what would happen when I opened it. What if that woman was still there, half naked? How would I react? I couldn’t.

  But I did. I slid my keycard in and pushed the door open. The woman was nowhere in sight. Only Asher, standing directly in front of me, those gorgeous eyes staring back at me, a smile spread across his face.

  “I wasn't sure you’d ever come.” Asher walked toward me as my heart rate increased.

  “You’re waiting for me?”

  He stepped toward me again and again. With each step, I wanted to step back, but I couldn’t. My feet remained planted in the ground, unable to move. What would happen when he reached me?

  It didn’t take long, and he stood inches from me. “Isla, don’t you know? It’s always been you.”

  “Been me?” I whispered.

  “Through your relationship with Tim, I waited it out. And all the girls I’ve dated—they were only there so I could find my way to you. I tried to get over you with every girl, but I couldn’t. Don't you feel the same way?”

  He lifted his arm up, and his fingertips touched my shoulder. I shivered as he traced a line down my arm, his finger touching my bare skin. He moved down my arm until his hand was in mine and he tickled my palm.

  I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I couldn’t find words. I forgot how to use my voice.

  “Isla, tell me you feel it too.” He shortened the distance between us again, his eyes bouncing back and forth as they pleaded with me to respond to him. I wanted to. I wanted to say something. I didn’t know how.

  “I—” Did I feel the same way?

  He took my other hand and inched closer, so close I could smell the spring scent of his shirt. Laundry detergent never smelled so sexy. I didn’t stop him as he leaned in, my eyes focused on his lips as they moved closer and closer to mine. Oh God. Asher was going to kiss me. In a second, we’d overstep a line from friends into what—lovers? A mistake? The best thing that ever happened to us? If we completed this kiss, what did it mean?