The Long Fall

by Daniel Quentin Steele

  “You’re making a statement, without any apparent coercion that you’re voluntarily relinquishing any claim to maintenance—for the rest of your life, no matter how your circumstances or your needs change. It’s to all intents and purposes, irrevocable. Unless you can prove that Lew here did something illegal or legally reprehensible or just plain unethical, a judge isn’t likely to throw this away. Please think about it. At least give yourself a day to consider it.”

  Debbie glanced up at Lew. She didn’t have any choices.

  She took the paper and glanced over it, then signed. The secretary signed and notarized it with her personal Notary stamp. She left the room with it.

  “We’ll keep the copy and you’ll have the original,” Joyce said to Lew. She looked at him with an expression made up of equal parts of anger and admiration.

  “You earned your fee today, Lew. I hope you can sleep with yourself tonight.”

  “Won’t have to,” he said with a slight smile. “Mona’s home.”

  A glance between the two of them made Debbie smile. He might be a one-man woman, but he liked the vibes Joyce was sending out. As for her, if she hadn’t been in the room, Debbie was sure Joyce would have been doing everything but rubbing his dick. At least she had good taste.

  After another long, meaningful glance, Joyce sighed and said, “Well, if you see him, would you give that good looking partner of yours a hello from me?”

  Lew nodded and said, “Sure. Just...”

  He gestured to her and they walked together to the side of the conference room, but Debbie could hear them.

  “I’ll tell him hello, Joyce. He’s dating a few girls right now but he might surprise you and call. It’s just-“

  “I’m a big girl, Lew. I’d rather it was you, but you’re off the market. I’d just like to have a little fun.”

  “Joyce, I love the guy, but be careful. He’s catnip, but...he chews women up and spits them out. He’s not a long term guy, never has been. And you’re a nice lady.”

  “Who’s going to be home alone watching a Cinemax after dark sex movie that will just depress me, or going to a meat market, which will depress me even more. He is so...gorgeous. I wouldn’t mind being treated like a sex object...once in awhile.”

  He leaned over and gave her a brotherly peck on the cheek, saying, “I’ll give him your number tomorrow. Just don’t get your hopes up and...be careful.”

  He walked back over to Debbie and opened his briefcase, putting the signed statement inside.

  “With this taken care of, there shouldn’t be any reason why we couldn’t get the divorce papers finalized and ready to go in the next month or so, right?

  She nodded.

  “And joint custody with you primary is okay?”

  “He’s their father, Lew. Even if we really hated each other I could never keep him away from them.”

  “I guess we’re done then. I’ll see you, Debbie.”

  Before he got out the door she said, “Lew.”

  He stopped and looked back at her.

  “Two things. First, when you see him, tell him ‘sometimes the rats win.’ I shouldn’t have underestimated him.”

  He looked at her with a puzzled expression.

  “He’ll understand. A private joke. And...just a little warning. You told Joyce to be careful. You be careful too.”

  “What?”

  “You leave Mona alone too much. With Norman.”

  He stared at her.

  “The guy is a machine. He moved in on me once, until I told him that if I told Bill there’d be an accident or an assault by unknown assailants and he’d lose his balls and be singing soprano. He’s left me alone ever since. I think he’s really afraid of Bill. But, he hits on everything. And from what I hear, he connects more than he misses. I’m probably cutting my own throat, because like Joyce, I’d kind of like you back on the market. But-“

  “Thanks for the warning, Debbie. Really. I know the kind of guy Norm is. I wouldn’t trust him around anyone else. But he’s been my friend since 8th grade. We went to UF together. He’s had my back in some bad situations and I’ve saved his ass from beatings and worse. I wasn’t always an alter boy. We got into some bad things growing up. But I’d trust my life to him, and I trust him with my wife. He would never go behind my back, even if Mona was willing. And she never will be.”

  He walked out and Debbie shook her head. Amazing how men could be so smart about some things and so dumb about others. Norm was tall, dark and gorgeous and had a huge cock judging by the way he’d rubbed it all over her at a few events where dancing was on the agenda. She had been committed to Bill then, and it was still the hardest thing she’d ever done to push him away and finally drive him away with the threat of Bill’s vengeance. How the hell could Mona be around him year in and year out and never give in?

  She shook her head and got up and prepared to leave.

  It wasn’t her problem. And if it happened, then maybe...

  “Shit, I’m not even divorced yet. Get control of yourself, girl.”

  Thursday July 7, 2005 -- 3:45 P.M.

  I was waiting outside Ed White High School when the bell rang at 3:35 p.m. Summer school classes were held until the same time regular school let out. Kelly had done well enough not to need the credits, but by acting as a peer student guide and helping others, she was racking up credits for the next school year.

  I knew what direction she’d be coming from and I kept my eyes out. I saw her finally with a knot of four girls and two boys walking out toward the parking lot. One of them looked like a tall basketball player named Gary Anderson who was her current heartthrob.

  I slid out of my Escalade and stood up, waving at her. She noticed me and stopped. The rest of the group with her stared at me. Finally she said something to them and walked toward me. Two of her girlfriends walked with her.

  “What are you doing here, dad?” she asked when she got close enough.

  “I just want to talk for a minute. I’ll drop you off the house. Tell your friends they can pick you up there.”

  “We were going...Okay.”

  She called the two girls over. One of them looked at me and said, “You’re Mr. Maitland?”

  “That’s me. You guys are peer guides with Kelly.”

  “Yes.”

  She looked at me strangely and I couldn’t help asking, “Am I growing horns?”

  She giggled, then said, “No, I just thought you were ...younger. I’ve seen Mrs. Maitland and I thought you guys were the same age.”

  “Brooke,” Kelly said sharply. “Stop fooling around.”

  And then to me: “Forget her dad, she’s an idiot.”

  I just smiled at the girls and said, “It’s an easy mistake to make. I robbed the cradle when I married her mother.”

  Then I slid into the car and said goodbye to her friends. Then she slid into the passenger seat, put her books beside her and said, “Okay Dad, what’s going on?”

  I smiled and said, “I have to have a reason to pick my daughter up?

  “Usually, yeah.”

  “Sadly, that’s true. Look, Kelly, I meant to do this before, but...Your mother told me something recently.”

  She took one look and then dropped her eyes to the upholstery.

  “No, no, tell me she didn’t.”

  “She didn’t mean to, she just let it slip.”

  “Look, it’s no big deal. It was no big deal.”

  “Being raped is no big deal? I know things have changed since your mother and I were in high school, but somehow I don’t think they’ve changed that much.”

  “It’s not...yeah. It was a big deal. But everything ended all right. I—didn’t’ come down with anything. Mom talked to.....the boy.”

  “He shouldn’t have gotten away-“

  “What were you going to do, dad? Send him to Raiford? He was a juvenile. We got drunk. He had sex with me. Nothing was going to happen to him.”

  “But-“

  “It might have ma
de you feel better, but all it would have done if you’d done anything to him is made sure everybody knew what happened. I’d have to live with it the rest of my life. I’m sorry, but I made Mom promise not to tell you. You always make a big deal out of everything.”

  We were silent together.

  “Has it been that rough, having me as a father?”

  “No, no. It’s just that, your job is always there. I can’t get drunk, can’t get stoned, can’t do any of the stupid things other kids do, because I’m your daughter. It would be a big scandal. And everybody is afraid of you. I mean, they always feel like they have to be—careful—around you.”

  “Has it been that way for everybody?”

  “I guess. BJ likes to go to other guys’ houses because—they’re looser. And his friends are nervous around here too.”

  “I guess I never thought about it. But-“

  ‘It’s alright, dad. We know you have an important job. Mom always told us that. It’s just that...”

  “What?”

  “I came in from a date one night—I think it was when you were in the middle of that toddler kidnapping and torture case and you were downstairs doing something involving documents. I was going to my room when I passed your bedroom and I saw mom lying on the bed. She was crying. I thought you guys had been fighting. So I got on the bed with her. I asked her what was wrong.

  “She just hugged me and told me there was nothing wrong. And then she said, ‘even when he’s here, he’s not here.’ And I knew what she meant. But, it’s not your fault.”

  Thursday July 7, 2005 -- 9 P.M.

  Finally at 9 p.m. Doug hadn’t called or returned her four calls. Bill hadn’t called or returned her six calls. Bill Jr. as was usual was spending the night at a friend’s house. Kelly was out on a date. She was pretty good about getting in by midnight on school nights and at least she made an effort to stay within the timetable Debbie had set for her. Not like some of her friends who had gone completely wild by the 10th grade. Kelly had just passed out of the 11th grade and she was a good girl.

  At least she was a hell of a lot more of a good girl than her mother had been at her age. Thinking back, Debbie felt simultaneous embarrassment and a burning deep inside her pussy. She had been completely a woman physically at 17 and had the judgment and good sense of a middle-schooler. It was only by the grace of God she hadn’t wound up pregnant, hooked on serious drugs, or some Biker Mama in a hovel in the middle of nowhere. God, she had tested her parents. She couldn’t complain about Kelly.

  She tried to watch television. Tried to listen to music on her IPOD that Kelly had finally convinced her to buy. Tried to grade essays on “The Optimum Corporate Organization Chart for the Post-Internet Age.”

  Went back and read and re-read the folder of e-mails. Found her eyes misting every time she thought about Bill’s finding and reading them the first time.

  Even though there was no one around, she felt herself blushing. How stupid could she have been? And the answer was no woman ever born could have been that stupid. She had known deep down what Doug was after, which was why his confession hadn’t shocked her.

  It was like kissing and petting in the 7th and 8th grades. You started with closed lips and then you opened your mouth and played tonsil hockey and then you let a boy touch your breasts outside your blouse and let him squeeze your nipples and rub that hard, mysterious rod of male flesh over your confined pussy. And then if you really liked him and he’d been working for it, you let him slip his hand in and under your bra and for the first time you felt male fingers milking you and felt a mysterious wetness between your legs.

  But back then, it had been innocent, relatively. Sure, there were books and older girls to explain exactly what was going on, but you didn’t KNOW. Not of your own personal knowledge. But she hadn’t been an innocent virgin when Doug started to flatter her and move his body closer to hers during their lunches and she started telling him secrets that she had never told her husband.

  She hadn’t been ignorant when they started talking about the sex habits of UNF students and had gotten around to talking about the trend to shaved pussies. And when Doug had made the first joking suggestions that the only way she could be hotter than she was now was to shave down there she hadn’t been offended. No, she’d been excited by the thought. And the vision of his fingers stroking her down there, and his tongue delving deep inside her and that hard huge cock of his sliding in there.

  It had been a fantasy, but looking back she realized she’d already made the decision to leave Bill. She just hadn’t been able to work up the courage to tell him the truth. She told herself there would be a better time to tell him they had to talk. To explain that their marriage hadn’t been working in such a long time. To tell him they’d both be happier free to explore their radically different visions of what a good life was. She wouldn’t tell him she’d already fallen in lust with a young, hung hunk.

  She saw them talking at some future time when she had gathered up her courage and saw the pain in his eyes. It would be like clubbing a baby seal. Because she knew he loved her, had never stopped. But was that enough? Did the fact that somebody loved you entitle them to keep you in chains, to keep you locked into a marriage where you were dying. But, at least, he wouldn’t know about Doug. He could keep his pride.

  And then that stupid, stupid, stupid slip of the tongue. Only Bill, with that goddamned prosecutor’s steel trap mind, would fasten on those four words and shake and tear and rip at her until their marriage started to collapse. And he’d found her emails. God, she couldn’t understand why she’d never even thought of that. She knew he monitored the kids’ emails, but she knew that was a good thing. There were too many dangerous people out in the world for teens to be completely on their own.

  But somehow she never thought he’d do it to her. Why? Why hadn’t she ever worried about that? She hadn’t had sex with another man, but she was cheating on him. Looking back now, she couldn’t deny it. Making a life separate from his, not telling him about the outings with friends, the dancing, it was cheating even if there was no sex involved. She knew it and had to admit it because she realized what she’d feel if she discovered that he had been doing the same thing.

  But somehow, she never worried about him checking up on her. Why? It wasn’t that he was stupid. Other than maybe Lew Walters, he was as smart as any man she’d ever known. Sitting there and reading the emails and seeing for the first time the way her affair with Doug—and that’s what it had been—had progressed, she couldn’t get her head around the feeling of invincibility she had enjoyed.

  And that’s when the real tears started. She had felt invincible because she had never doubted Bill’s love for her. As she’d told Doug, he would have walked through fire for her. He had been her champion since that day so long ago when he’d swooped in like some comic-book hero to save her sorry, wild child ass from being gangbanged to a pulp by a bunch of horny UF frat boys.

  And she could come and go as she wanted because she knew he’d never check up on her, never check her panties to see if another man’s cum was in them, never look for hickeys or bruises on her breasts and ass. And marks were there sometimes. Before she got rid of them, guys sometimes got too excited, pinched a nipple or her butt hard enough to leave marks.

  It hadn’t always been that way. There had been the two months they had been apart back at UF. When she had thought he would never get past her sexual history, that he would never really trust her no matter what he said. And she had realized that she didn’t care what almost anyone else thought about her. But she couldn’t live with a man who would always wonder what she was doing when she wasn’t with him.

  But they had pulled it together. And she had believed him when he told her that he would never doubt her again. That the past was the past. And it had been. For all those years.

  Was it possible to love somebody too much? To trust them too much? Had she developed a contempt for him because he was too good to her? As she had tol
d Lew, she had never really liked nice guys before she met Bill. It was the mean ones, the hard ones who took what they wanted, that got her wet, that got between her legs, that took what she had to offer without concern for her feelings.

  She grabbed her cell phone. As usual Bill didn’t answer. She’d known he wouldn’t answer even if he had his cell phone with him. She scrolled down and found another number and prayed she would be by her phone. It rang five times before, “Hello. Is that you Debbie?”

  “Yes. I’m sorry to call you after work, Cheryl, but I had a question I hope you can answer.”

  “um—okay.”

  “Relax. I’m not going to ask you to be disloyal to Bill. I just—I want to talk to him. Face to face. He won’t take my phone calls. And I know he’s in the office when you lie to me and tell me he’s out.”

  “Uh, Debbie, I’m sorry, but-“

  “I know, you have to do what he tells you to do. But this is important. We’ve finalized the divorce papers and before—it’s all over, I’d like to talk to him one last time. Can you help me. I’ve never been to his new place.”

  “I can give you the address of his condo, but I don’t think he’d be there. It’s what -- 9 p.m.? I know he doesn’t spend much time there. He would probably be at the gym or that boxing place.”

  “Gym? Boxing place?”

  “I don’t know much about it. Bill’s been pretty tight lipped about his personal life since...you know. But we do get emergency calls or calls from deputies who want to talk to him so I’ve learned those are the two places you’re most likely to find him at night. Unless he’s at a bar or...”

  “Bill is going to bars? I had to practically blackmail him to get him to come out to a nightclub with me when....”

  “I guess things change.”

  Debbie sat with the phone to her ear, head whirling. Bill was spending time at gyms and boxing places and going to bars. What the hell? Men were supposed to have their mid-life crisis BEFORE they got divorced, not afterward.

  “I can give you the addresses of the gym and the boxing place. The gym is in Avondale. I can get the name. And I know the boxing gym or training place is run by an old friend of his named Carlos...something. If you go down there, be careful. It’s in a really bad part of the downtown.”