Kellen's Moment

by Robin Alexander

Stevie was quiet for a moment. “Do I have to smell her armpit?”

  “Yeah, and she’s gotta smell yours. You have to have a first fight, then work shit out, and do a bunch of other stuff. Put the moment in the box.”

  “Okay, that’s good advice,” Stevie said, considering that she might’ve been getting too caught up in the moment.

  “Well, Kellen’s here, and she’s getting out of the Jeep with bags. Aw, she’s got flowers tucked under her arm. You just remember when you see them on the table today and you get all jelly inside because of that added touch, they came out of an armpit that’s gonna stink,” Trent whispered.

  Chapter 10

  Kyle staggered into Kellen’s kitchen and looked at all the bags she was emptying. “What’s all this?”

  “Groceries,” Kellen said simply.

  “Are you really planning on cooking for your lunch date?” Kyle looked terrified. “What’re you gonna make?”

  Kellen pointed to a pad in the middle of her kitchen table. “It says right here, ‘Make gilled shimp,’ so I’m making shimp.”

  “That’s my handwriting, but I don’t remember writing that. What’re you making with it?”

  “Gilled veggiewabbles,” Kellen replied with a smile. “And a salwid.”

  Trent burst through the back door and asked Kyle, “Did you know I got stabbed in the back last night?”

  “Yeah, you pissed off a gardenia bush, and it shanked you,” Kyle replied dryly.

  “I don’t remember any of that.” Trent walked over to the coffeemaker and refilled his cup. “Stevie just filled in the gaps for me.”

  “How is she?” Kellen asked.

  “Fine, and looking forward to the date.” Trent took a drink of his coffee.

  “Look at the goofy grin on your face,” Kyle said as he stared at Kellen. “You really like her.”

  Kellen nodded and resumed putting away her groceries. “I think she’s pretty special, so thank you for convincing me to invite her to the party.”

  “Did you have the moment?” Kyle asked.

  Trent yanked open a drawer and pointed at it. “Hey, Kellen, you put that moment thing in here.” He made a show of closing it. “Put it away. You got Stevie thinking she’s—you just put that moment shit away and deal in the real.”

  “What is she thinking? Trent, you better tell me,” Kellen demanded. “I’ll plant another gardenia in your ass.”

  “Kell, don’t threaten my man,” Kyle warned.

  Trent pointed a finger in Kellen’s face. “You make her lose her mind and tell her family about you, then you decide ‘oh, you’re not my moment, Stevie,’ I’ll plant more than a flower bush in your ass.”

  “Trent, don’t threaten my sister,” Kyle said, sounding bored.

  “You were all pro moment last night. I had no plans to tell her about it, but two drunk dick hat-wearing chipmunks started singing about it,” Kellen said as she backed Trent around her kitchen. “Then one of them—you, Trent—made it a point to bring it up again, and she asked me about it, so I had to explain it. Does she think I’m ridiculous, too? Tell me!”

  “No…she’s just as dumb as you are.” Trent jerked a thumb at his chest as he continued to back away from Kellen. “You need to see me as her big protective brother and hear what I say, man. You better know you really care for her before you let her walk through a shit storm with her family.” He waved one hand wildly. “That’s what’s gonna happen, a shit tornado, a shit tsunami, just shit everywhere. Her family doesn’t even know she’s gay, then she has to tell them she’s all gay with a McLin. So don’t you let her go through that, then be like ‘meh, it’s really not working for me.’”

  Kellen stood still and nodded. “Okay.”

  Kyle sank down into a chair at the table and set his chin in his hand. “You’re so cute when you’re protective.”

  “Hey, if you’re getting fuzzy, y’all go home. There’s no fuzzy wuzzy going on in my spare room.” Kellen looked at her watch. “I have to clean up this house, shower, and make lunch.”

  “Let me have some coffee, and we’ll help you clean,” Kyle said as he gazed at Trent. “Hey, babe, quit glaring at my sister.”

  Trent held up a hand. “I’m just gonna say this. Kellen, you better smell Stevie’s armpit and love it, or I will kill you.”

  The room fell silent, and Kellen finally asked, “What’s in your coffee cup besides coffee?”

  *******

  Stevie showered, shaved, and dabbed perfume on all the strategic points. She didn’t plan to have sex with Kellen on the first date but felt if she lost her mind and all control, she should at least be prepared. Just the notion of being intimate with Kellen made her skin flush, and her hands shook slightly as she put on her clothes.

  When Stevie was ready to leave the cottage, she peered out the window before she dashed to her car and fled her parents’ property as though she’d just robbed their house. On this trip to McLin, she especially didn’t want to be seen traveling that way, so she took a few different roads and made sure no one was behind her. When she turned onto the highway toward McLin, she was reminded of what she missed about Louisiana winters as she searched for her sunglasses. Although winter meant seemingly endless rainy days, every now and then, one would be sunny and warm like spring. This was one of those blessed days; the temperature gauge on her car read sixty-eight degrees.

  After she turned onto Kellen’s driveway, she plowed up the gravel lane like a wild woman and slowed in the curve right before the house. She was excited about seeing Kellen again, but she tried to play it cool and draped one wrist casually over the wheel in case Kellen was watching. Stevie did forget to unclip her seat belt before she tried to get out and looked around for any sight of Kellen in the windows as she kind of hung in it for a moment.

  “I’m so damn cool,” Stevie whispered when she got out of her car and reached in for the bottle of wine she brought. She gave herself a quick once-over, then checked the windows again for Kellen before she gave both armpits a sniff.

  “Hey,” Kellen said with a big smile as Stevie rounded the back of the house. “Did you follow your nose?”

  Stevie’s eyes flew open wide, and her stride faltered until it hit her that Kellen was talking about the food. “I did, what’re you grilling?”

  “Shrimp and veggies,” Kellen said and hugged Stevie when she walked onto the deck.

  Stevie fought the urge to cling to her like a dryer sheet. She stepped back and admired the table Kellen had set up, complete with a tablecloth and a vase of flowers as the centerpiece. “This looks lovely.”

  “I had to take advantage of one of our faux spring days since it’s supposed to rain tomorrow and turn cold again.”

  “Oh.” Stevie held out the bottle she had tucked in the crook of her arm. “This is a dessert wine.”

  “Yummy, we’ll definitely get into this,” Kellen said as she accepted the bottle and pulled out a seat at the table. “You sit here, and I’ll serve lunch in a minute or two.”

  “I feel like I should help since you didn’t let me clean up last night.”

  “Don’t feel bad, the boys helped me clean after they drank a pot of coffee.” Kellen patted the back of the chair. “Sit down and tell me about your morning.”

  “It was quiet.” Stevie sat and watched Kellen at the grill. “My parents go to church, so there weren’t any early sneak attacks.”

  Kellen chuckled. “What do they do when they attack?”

  “Dad’s only done it once, and that was yesterday because he wanted me to go to breakfast. Mom’s aren’t particularly early, but they are sneaky. She showed up with a contractor the other day unannounced.”

  “I used to rent the house across from Walt and Trulee. Walt gets up at four in the morning and thought I should get up at that time too. That’s what inspired me to restore this old place.” Kellen carefully took the shrimp skewers from the grill. “At least we know we’re loved because they want to be around us.”

  “Ye
ah, and doesn’t that make you feel bad when you want your own space?”

  “It didn’t at four in the morning.” Kellen switched off the gas at the tank, removed a foil pouch from the grill, and emptied it into a bowl. She placed the shrimp kabobs on top of it and brought it to the table.

  “This smells fantastic,” Stevie said and watched Kellen make her plate.

  “I hope you like it. The glaze on the shrimp is Trulee’s recipe. Actually, everything I cook is one of Trulee’s creations or variations of other recipes. I have a whole handwritten book of them. It includes notes in the margins that say things like ‘If you clean while you cook, the mess won’t be so bad.’ My personal favorite is ‘If you put your greasy paws on my fridge again, I will stuff you in it.’ That entry was made a few years ago when she was teaching me to fry eggrolls. She’s a very tender, sweet, sentimental woman.”

  Stevie smiled. “I really like her.”

  “She likes you too. Even when you were a kid, she said you were polite and well-mannered.” Kellen set a plate in front of Stevie and sat. She pointed at one of two bottles sitting on the table. “That is a ginger dressing, and the other is a balsamic Italian. I do have ranch inside if you prefer.”

  “I’m gonna try both of these. Did Trulee mention how she knew who I was back then?”

  Kellen smiled. “She didn’t say, but I figure someone in the diner knew and told her. A lot of people from Sealy eat there, and Trulee is friends with them.”

  “Shit, that means I can’t go back there for pie,” Stevie said before she took a bite of her salad.

  “You could probably go in there around two o’clock. That’s when it’s really slow and you would be less likely to be spotted. Walt rarely ever goes to the diner, so you’d probably never run into him. He says he gets enough of Trulee’s food at home, and she doesn’t serve liquor. Oh, and chocolate pie is what we’re having for dessert.”

  “You really know how to get to a girl,” Stevie said with a smile. “I find it odd that we never crossed paths at the diner back then.”

  “I was at UNO when you were in high school. Kyle and I had an apartment together, and we didn’t come home a lot. We were too busy sewing our wild gay oats, and we hadn’t come out of the closet to Trulee and Walt then.”

  “How’d the coming out go?” Stevie asked before she finished her salad.

  “Oh, it was…uh…traumatic where Walt was concerned. Trulee pretty much had us figured out, and she’d already shared her suspicions with Walt, who went into absolute denial. When we finally confirmed it, Walt didn’t speak to us for a couple of months. As usual, Trulee was the voice of reason, and Walt finally came around.”

  Stevie nodded as she chewed. “What exactly do you do as an arborist?”

  “Not what I intended. I wanted to preserve trees because I love them, but mainly my business cuts them down or trims their limbs back. By the time someone calls me to look at a tree they don’t want to lose, it’s too late.” Kellen shook her head. “I’m not supposed to talk about trees on a first date.”

  “I did ask,” Stevie said with a smile. “What’s it like to be mayor?”

  “If you’ve ever been in a room with dozens of children all demanding something different, it’s the same thing, but with adults. Some of them have genuinely good ideas that would benefit the town as a whole, but I can’t dedicate much time to them because of requests for chicken crosswalks and a ban on Mardi Gras boob beads. Some people thrive in that kind of chaos, I’m not one of them.”

  Stevie shook her head. “I don’t think I’d enjoy working in a chaotic environment, either. I was actually afraid I wouldn’t be as disciplined working at home. There’s the couch, the TV, things that need to be done, but I find when I’m working, my sole focus is on the task at hand. No one is coming into my office asking if I’ve tried the cake in the breakroom or if I’ve looked at the email they sent two seconds ago. I’m a lot more productive when I’m not forced to mingle.”

  “I would be too if I didn’t have to go to a meeting every time I turn around.” Kellen smiled. “My stint as mayor confirms every day that I picked the right profession. I’ve never been in the top of a tree and someone swung over on a vine and asked if we should launder the curtains in the conference room or replace them. These are the kinds of questions I’m asked all day long.”

  “Did you replace or launder the curtains?” Stevie asked with a smug grin.

  “I…uh…I was told my eyes got really big, and I screamed something unintelligible. I apologized to everyone in the whole building when I calmed down a couple hours later. We laundered the curtains, though. Oh, don’t sit there and laugh at me, I know you’ve lost it before.”

  “I have,” Stevie admitted with a nod. “It’s really embarrassing to lose your mind over something simple, but it’s really not simple at all. It’s a fuse that lights the powder keg that’s been growing. One morning, I was running late for work because the pilot light went out on the water heater and I had to light it. I got out to my car, and the doors were frozen shut. Once I did get into it, I didn’t realize that I’d slammed my coat in the door, and I ended up dragging it through the slush. I got to the building where I worked, half jogged through the parking lot, and got to the door right before a woman carrying an armload of books. I held it open for her, and she said very snidely, ‘I’m not infirmed.’” Stevie held both hands up and spread her fingers wide. “Kaboom. I screamed, ‘What is wrong with being polite anymore?’ My voice went so high, I don’t think the horde of people waiting for the elevators could understand the rest of my tirade as it echoed off the glass windows of the lobby where I stood in place stomping my feet. When I was done, I got into one of the packed elevator cars, and no one said a word. All I could hear was my heavy breathing.”

  Kellen’s body shook with laughter. “I would have paid to see that.”

  “You can see it.” Stevie pulled her phone from the back pocket of her jeans. “One of the security people sent me this clip months after the incident when she knew I wouldn’t kill her. Sadly, there’s no sound.”

  Kellen took the phone and watched Stevie open the door for the woman. Since the video was taken from overhead, she couldn’t see Stevie’s expression, but she could see her arms flapping and her feet stomping as she lost her mind. After the tirade, Stevie walked briskly through the lobby and disappeared inside the elevator. Kellen thought it was one of the cutest things she’d ever seen.

  *******

  “So this is your backyard,” Stevie said as she and Kellen strolled through the woods behind the house. “How far does it go?”

  “All the way to the water.” Kellen took Stevie’s hand. “It’s thirty acres total, and half of it is considered wetlands.”

  Stevie ran her hand over the bark of a tree as they passed it. “What is this tree named, it’s common name that I’ll understand?”

  “A water oak,” Kellen said with a smile. “They’re everywhere out here.”

  “You haven’t said anything about my ex being male.”

  “Whoa, I was preparing to answer questions about the water oak’s foliage,” Kellen said wide-eyed.

  “I don’t date very well. It’s like a card game, you know? You play some cards and let out little bits of information, and the other person does the same. I’m too impatient for that, I like to throw all the cards on the table.”

  Kellen smiled and squeezed Stevie’s hand. “That is so damn refreshing to hear.”

  “Good, I want to know if you have concerns about the fact that you’re the first woman I’ve ever had a date with.”

  “You’re not my first in that regard. I’ve dated women who jumped the fence so to speak,” Kellen said. “I know some lesbians shy away from women who don’t staunchly identify as lesbians. No one likes to be an experiment, but isn’t that what dating actually is? You spend time getting to know a person to see if a relationship would work out and if feelings develop. Sometimes the experiment is a success, sometimes it isn’t
.”

  “Where does the moment fit in with that?”

  “I was talking about dating in general,” Kellen said with a laugh. “I’ve been forbidden by Trent to talk to you about the moment.”

  Stevie chewed her bottom lip. “Oh, yeah? What else did he tell you?”

  “I’m supposed to look at him like your big brother who will beat my ass if I don’t do right by you.” Kellen gazed at Stevie as they strolled along. “Labels don’t mean much to me. The older I get, the more confused I become by classifications. Human beings can’t always be filed in boxes marked gay or straight or even bi. I’ve struggled with that because identity is very important when we’re fighting for human rights. On the other hand, I don’t think it’s fair to tell someone they can’t say they’re gay or lesbian if they’ve been in relationships with the opposite sex.” Kellen sighed. “We get so hung up on identifying everything.”

  “I’m gonna throw it out on the table and say that kiss last night made me feel one hundred percent lesbian. I’m happy with that classification.”

  Kellen laughed. “It was pretty exciting for me, too, and I’m not sure if I was light-headed from the feel of it or because you had me in a chokehold when you grabbed the front of my shirt.”

  “I didn’t even realize I grabbed your shirt,” Stevie said as her face flushed.

  “I did not mind at all.” Kellen slowed their pace. “Do you want another one?”

  “Yes, but I’m probably gonna choke you again and wrap around you like a squid. I don’t feel very in control of myself at the moment,” Stevie admitted and started blurting out things as nervous excitement swept over her. “I put on extra deodorant because I had no idea armpits were some sort of litmus test. When we danced, it felt natural to hold you and be held by you, and I’ve never known that feeling. I don’t know what it is about you that compels me to say everything that’s going through my head! I’m all for being honest, getting things out on the table, but you did not need to know I have on extra deodorant!”

  Kellen’s laughter rang out through the forest.