Black List

by Lynn Raye Harris

  This time he teased her first, sliding his tongue inside her, around her, licking his way to her clit with sure strokes that came closer and closer. Until he was there again, taking her in his mouth, slipping a finger inside to fuck her that way too.

  Maddy arched her back, her eyes closing tight, as she tried to catch the wave of pleasure sitting just out of reach.

  And then she did catch it, and the sensation built to excruciating levels before exploding in that same hot shower of sparks as before.

  Maddy was delirious with joy, but she knew it wasn’t yet enough. There was more to experience with Jace, and she wanted it all. When he dipped his head to lick her again, she pushed his shoulders. “No more, please.”

  His hot eyes met hers. “You don’t want more pleasure? “

  “I do, Jace. But I want it with you inside me.”

  He sighed. “Babe, I want that too. More than you know. But what I don’t have with me, because I didn’t show up for this, is condoms.”

  “I have some.”

  An eyebrow arched. “Seriously?”

  “Yes. And the box is full—I only opened it so I’d have one in my purse just in case, but they’ve never been used.”

  He grinned. “Then let’s go use them.”

  Jace followed Maddy to the bedroom, his eyes firmly fixed on her pretty little ass, her taste on his tongue, his body hard as stone. Her long hair brushed the dip in her back just above her ass, and it turned him on for some crazy reason.

  Hell, everything about Maddy turned him on. She bent over to get the condoms from a drawer and he groaned. Then he dropped to his knees and licked her pussy from behind while she gripped the dresser and cried his name. When she shuddered hard, creaming his tongue with her release, he stood and turned her in his arms, lifting her against him as he kissed her.

  She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back with all the passion he wanted. He walked her over to the bed and set her down, breaking the kiss. She dropped to her knees, her pretty green eyes staring up at him as she tackled the button on his jeans. When she freed him, she gripped him with both hands before pressing a kiss to the tip.

  Jace sucked in a groan and fisted his hands at his sides. “Baby, how about we skip you doing that this time?”

  She tugged his jeans down his hips. “We didn’t skip it for me, so no.”

  “Yeah, but you make me come this way, it’ll be a few minutes before I’m ready again.”

  She grinned up at him. “I’ll keep it in mind.”

  She took him in her mouth, sucking him as deep as she could—which wasn’t deep but he didn’t care—before running her tongue along his length and tickling his balls. He’d had blow jobs before—plenty of them—but none made him feel the way this one did. He had iron self-discipline, but many more strokes of her sweet tongue and he was going to explode.

  Jace pulled her up and into his arms, kissing her as he took her down to the bed. The condoms were there, a strip spilling from the box, and he fumbled for them. Then he sat back and tore one off while she propped herself on her elbows and watched.

  “You’re so sexy, Jace.”

  “I was thinking the same thing about you.”

  She dropped her gaze to where his cock jutted thick and proud. “I really wanted to make you come that way,” she said.

  His balls tightened. “And I wanted to let you. But I want to be inside you even more.” He rolled on the condom, then stalked her backward on the bed, tugging her beneath him, letting his gaze drop over her delightful body. The firm, high tits. Narrow waist, dark pubic hair. She parted her legs, revealing slick pink flesh that he wanted to spend hours exploring.

  Jace stroked his fingers down her body, between her legs, skimming over her clit before pushing two into her body. She bit her lower lip, arched up to him as he fucked her slowly. He added his thumb to the mix, swirling it over her tender flesh until she gasped.

  “Jace—please.”

  “Please what, Maddy?”

  “Stop teasing and fuck me already.”

  God he loved it when she said that word. “Say that again.”

  “What?”

  “Fuck me, Jace.”

  She blushed. “I didn’t say that.”

  “You did.”

  “Not exactly like that.”

  “Baby, I want you to say fuck. Better yet, say it in my ear while I’m deep inside you, okay?”

  She smiled. “Okay.”

  He replaced his fingers with his cock, pushing slowly inside her while she sucked in her breath and then let it out again in a moan. “Oh. Oh my.”

  He held himself on his elbows so he could watch her take him. Between the sight of his cock disappearing into her body and her eyes dilating as her mouth fell open, he was in the best heaven he could imagine.

  He held still for a long moment, trying to capture this feeling in his mind so he could take it out and examine it later, when she was gone from his life. But how would he ever remember it all? The way the soft light of her bedroom lamp spilled across her skin, the peaches and vanilla scent of her, the way his chest felt tight and his heart full, the sound of a car driving by on the street outside. Even the sound of her cat crunching food somewhere nearby.

  This moment was everything. Intimate, important, overwhelming in ways he couldn’t quite understand. To lose it was going to cost him more than he wanted to pay.

  He started to move, pumping slowly into her, stoking the pleasure between them like a small fire he intended to turn into a raging inferno. It didn’t take long. Flame raced along his skin, through his bones, his blood, and into his heart. He fucked her faster, harder, driving them both toward a cliff that he wanted to stand on the edge of before falling into oblivion with her.

  He took her mouth, kissed her while he drove into her. She wrapped her legs around him, holding on tight—and then she ripped her mouth from his and put it against his ear. “Fuck me, Jace. Harder—oh God, so good.”

  He couldn’t help but respond to that command. He did as she asked, and when she plunged over the side of the cliff, gasping his name, he followed her into the languid pool below, pouring himself into the condom and wishing there was nothing between them but skin.

  He saw stars. His body quivered with the force of what he was feeling. He didn’t understand it, but he understood it was unique. That he’d never experienced this with a woman before.

  He rolled to the side, taking Maddy with him. She clung to him, her body damp, her eyes closed, a groan on her lips.

  “That. Was. Spectacular,” she breathed.

  He ran his fingers down her side, around to cup her ass. He was still inside her, but he’d have to move soon. If he didn’t take care of the condom, they’d have a mess. “It was,” he told her.

  She sighed and pressed her mouth to his neck. Her tongue teased him for a second, then she pulled back and pushed herself away. He wanted to grab her to him, but he let her go. Her hair was messy, her eyes sleepy and satisfied. She smiled down at him. “I think you delivered on your promise.”

  “What promise was that?”

  “Not just one, but two secret weapons licensed to give the best orgasms ever.”

  He almost snorted. “I’m glad to hear I lived up to expectations.” He sat up and grabbed the base of the condom so nothing leaked out. “Let me take care of this and I’ll be happy to do it all again. In case you need another demonstration.”

  She yawned and stretched as she lay back on the pillows. “Yes, maybe you’d better show me again. I need to test for quality control. You can’t keep your license if you don’t prove you can provide a quality experience each and every time.”

  Jace bent and kissed her. Then he walked away, chuckling. “Hold that thought, babe. I’m going to rock your world so hard you’ll never forget this night.”

  He thought her smile faltered for a second, but maybe he imagined it because she spread her legs open, enticing him with a view of glistening flesh. “Come and get it, honey
.”

  Maddy jerked awake, confused. She’d been having the most delicious dream where she was warm and satisfied and happy. And then it hit her that it wasn’t a dream. She was in her bed, in the dark, and a warm body lay beside her. They’d had sex three times before falling asleep in a tangle of arms and legs. She didn’t even remember falling asleep it had happened so fast.

  She pushed a hand through her hair and scooted away from Jace as carefully as she could. He reached for her anyway, coming awake as he did so, his hand closing around her wrist.

  “Babe, what’s wrong?”

  She pushed her hair behind an ear as she leaned over to kiss him. “Nothing. I need to pee and check on Kitty.”

  “Hey, think we can heat up some pizza?”

  She laughed. “You want pizza?”

  “In case you weren’t aware, I burned a lot of calories pleasing you.”

  Maddy laughed. “Did you now?”

  “Hell yes. It’s work making you come so many times.”

  Maddy pinched him. Lightly. He sat up, the sheet falling down his torso, and her mouth went dry. The light from the living room snaked down the hallway and through her open door. They hadn’t exactly turned everything off before hitting the bedroom, though Jace had gone back at one point to shove the remaining pizza in the fridge. The man had priorities.

  “I could have a snack too, I think.”

  “Meet you in the kitchen?”

  “Sure.”

  Maddy went to the restroom while Jace got up and dragged on clothes. It wasn’t until she joined him in the kitchen that she realized all he’d put on were a pair of gray boxer briefs that accentuated his firm ass—and whoa, the impressive outline of his package when he turned to face her. Had she really been underneath him just a few hours ago, enjoying that gorgeous body?

  She had. She wanted to again. Liquid heat flooded between her legs. She was already slightly sore since it’d been so long, but she still wanted more. She wanted to feel the imprint of Jace on her. Inside her. For all time.

  Jeez, Maddy, way to go getting all sentimental about the first guy to make you come in over three years.

  Kitty did figure-eights around his legs and Maddy made herself focus on that instead of the chaotic emotion swelling in her chest. “Kitty-girl, are you hungry?”

  “I heard her eating crunchy food earlier. Does she need more?”

  Maddy went over to a cabinet. “She gets moist food too.” She pulled out a tin and opened it, dumped it into a fresh bowl. Then she went over and set it on the floor while Kitty meowed for it. Then Kitty dove in, purring, and it was quiet again.

  “She’s cute,” he said, getting a plate out and putting pizza on it. “You want some?”

  “A slice.”

  He added to the plate.

  “She is cute,” Maddy said, suddenly feeling awkward. She’d put on her robe in the restroom, but it was short and she felt more exposed than she liked. Which was crazy because he’d seen her naked. Done things to her body that she’d never forget for the rest of her life.

  “How long have you had her?”

  “She was Mimi’s cat. Mimi got her when she was a kitten, which was only six years ago now. Seems like a lifetime.” Maddy shook her head. “Anyway, I think she made Mimi feel like everything was all right, you know? I’m pretty sure Mimi was starting to slip, but it was only three years ago that she had to go to the facility. So Kitty was her rock until then.”

  “Where were you?”

  “New York. I’m fortunate enough to be able to base myself here now, but when I first started with Barrington’s, I had to be in New York. I did a lot of museum work, a lot of private collector work in the city. I wasn’t sent on a remote job until I’d been there for two years. Then I had a lot of jobs, and when I realized what was happening with Mimi, I had to come home. They were very understanding at Barrington’s. I tried to be here for Mimi but it was clear she couldn’t live without help. I’d get calls that she was found wandering down the street in her bathrobe. She made it over to the City Dock a couple of times.” Maddy tried not to let the sadness choke her, but it was there in the back of her throat anyway.

  Jace tugged her into his arms and rubbed his hands up and down her back. She loved the closeness, the way she felt at ease with him. She could love him. She really could.

  No, it’s too risky.

  It was too risky. He led a dangerous life of intrigue that she didn’t understand. And she didn’t think he was going to give it up to get a desk job in DC so he could get married, buy a house, and raise two point five kids—with her or anyone.

  “I’m sorry, honey. That had to be difficult.”

  “It was. I finally realized she needed around the clock care when I came home one day and she’d set the kitchen curtains on fire.” Maddy shuddered. “I was just lucky I walked in when I did. Mimi had lit a candle, and she’d put it too close—”

  “It’s okay.”

  She swallowed. “It wasn’t just that she’d made a mistake. It was that she didn’t know me, or where she was. She kept insisting she wanted to go home, that her mother would be looking for her. I knew I needed professional help.” She sniffled and pushed away again. “Anyway, that’s how I got Kitty. I wasn’t going to rehome her. I loved her because she was Mimi’s, but then I loved her because she’s herself. Such a sweet girl. She means the world to me.”

  The microwave dinged but he didn’t move. He was still watching her. Waiting for a meltdown maybe. Well, she wasn’t going to do it. “Thought you were hungry.”

  “I am. You okay?”

  “I’m fine. I’ve been living with this reality for three years now. I won’t fall apart over it tonight.”

  He nodded before he turned and got the pizza. They perched at the kitchen counter and ate together in silence. For all the intimacy of the bedroom, it suddenly felt awkward between them. Maddy didn’t know what to say. She thought of and discarded fifty questions, none of which she figured he’d answer anyway.

  “I wasn’t close to my parents,” he said, not looking at her. Shocking her.

  Maddy stilled. He’d never said anything so personal. “I’m not close to my mother. At all.” He looked up. “She’s a bitch,” Maddy added. “She left my dad for another man. A richer man.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  She waved a hand. “It’s okay. I’m over it. Have been for a long time.”

  He nodded. “I don’t think I am,” he said softly. “I don’t think I ever will be. Which is funny in a way because my parents were monsters.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Her eyes glistened as she reached for his hand. She held it tight. “Oh Jace. I don’t know what to say.”

  He shrugged. Why the fuck had he said that? He didn’t know, but it had felt right when he did it. “Lots of kids have shitty parents. Or no parents. I didn’t have it any worse than a lot of kids.”

  “It doesn’t matter—if they were terrible to you, then you have every right to hate them.”

  “They weren’t terrible. Not in the sense you’re thinking.” He sucked in a breath. He didn’t know why he was saying these things to her, but something in him needed to get it out. And yet he had to be careful, too. There were things he couldn’t say. Things he shouldn’t say.

  “So they didn’t beat you, I take it. Mental abuse is just as bad.”

  He stared at their joined hands. He wanted to unburden himself. He’d carried this around for so damned long. “I was born in Virginia and raised there until I was ten years old. My parents uprooted me and my baby sister and moved us to Moscow first, then St. Petersburg. We didn’t speak a word of Russian. Didn’t even know our parents were Russian until we moved. It was a difficult transition.”

  “I’m so sorry.” She didn’t mention the fact he’d just admitted that both his parents were Russian. He’d told her before that he had one of each. He knew she hadn’t forgotten it.

  “I was bullied for not speaking the language. And then speaking it
with an American accent.”

  She rubbed her thumb back and forth over his hand. Comforting him. As if he could be comforted, but he appreciated the gesture. Sweet Maddy.

  He tugged her toward him and kissed her. She melted into him, her hand coming up to cup his jaw. He could get used to this. Coming home to Maddy, feeling her passion and her tenderness. Losing himself in her.

  “You said your parents were dead,” she said when he let her go again. “Is that when you left Russia? And what about your sister? Where is she?”

  Jace’s gut tightened. “They are all dead.” He’d never seen bodies, but he’d been told they’d been targeted for crimes against the state. It was all too common, unfortunately. His parents he didn’t care much about—but Natasha, well, she’d been so young when they’d been deported. He’d hoped her life would be unaffected by his parents’ crimes, but that had been a vain hope apparently. He still held out a sliver of hope she was alive, but he didn’t expect it was true. He hadn’t been there when the authorities came for her and his parents and he didn’t really know what had happened. But people didn’t reappear once they’d been arrested for treason.

  Spying for the Americans, they’d said. Wasn’t that just fucking ironic?

  Maddy climbed off her bar stool and came over to hug him tight. “I’m sorry. It sounds so lame, but it’s true. I’m sorry.”

  He threaded his fingers into her wild mane of hair. “I didn’t want to make you sad. It’s in the past. I hated them for what they did to us. And I know that doesn’t make a lot of sense to you since it seems their only crime was uprooting us and not telling us our heritage—but there’s more to it than that. I wish I could tell you, but I can’t.”

  Her green eyes searched his. “Jace Kaiser. Why did you pick that name?”

  He slipped his thumb over her lower lip, caressing it. “Jace is short for Jason—like Jason Bourne in the movies. Kaiser comes from another movie.”

  “Which movie is that?”

  “The Usual Suspects. Keyser Söze. He’s a total badass who hides in plain sight for much of the movie. He’s right in front of the police and they don’t even know it. I changed the spelling to the German for emperor.”