Black List

by Lynn Raye Harris

  “Will you tell me who you are now?”

  He held her close, taking strength from her warm body next to his. He loved this woman. Loved her with all his dark heart. And even if it was dangerous for her, how could he keep the truth from her? She’d already endured enough danger because of him. She deserved the truth. Then she could decide for herself.

  “You can look it up, solnishka. Alex and Susan Oliver were deported for treason against the United States. It’s public record. They would have been imprisoned, but when the US offered to trade them for American spies, the deal was accepted. So there was an exchange. It wasn’t exciting like in the movies. No bridges were involved. But Alex and Susan, with their children Nicholas and Natasha, flew to Russia and left behind their lives in the US. My parents were citizens. Naturalized, not born. Natasha and I were born citizens. But we were stripped of it when we were deported. I hated my parents for years over that. Natasha was much younger and it didn’t affect her as much.”

  He hated thinking about it, but he needed to. “I became Nikolai Orlov. I was angry and lost, but I eventually embraced him—and my country. I joined the army. The Spetznatz, which is like Delta Force or the Navy SEALs, and I did whatever I could for Mother Russia. Then my parents were arrested again, this time for conspiring with the United States, and thrown into prison. So was Natasha. I was next, but Ian helped me escape.”

  “So you became Jace Kaiser,” she said.

  “Yes.” He hugged her tight, taking comfort in her warmth. “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you the truth.”

  “I understand, Jace. Your entire existence depended on secrecy. How could you tell someone you’d recently met?”

  He tipped her chin toward him so he could meet her eyes. “I could tell you anything, Maddy. I know that now. I just didn’t want to endanger you. The less you knew, the better.”

  “Except that’s not true anymore.”

  “No, apparently not.” Ice crackled through him. “Colt—what happened? Do you know anything?”

  Maddy stroked his temple, his cheek. Ran her fingers into his hair and over his scalp. It was soothing. Sweet. “He’s going to recover. He lost a lot of blood, but he’ll make it.”

  Relief left him weak. Or maybe that was the drugs. Thank God.

  “Kitty is fine too. The door was open when Calypso—Natasha—shot Colt, but Ian’s response team found her under the bed.”

  “I’m glad.” He hadn’t known Kitty was in trouble, but he was glad she was okay. Because Maddy loved her. And he loved Maddy.

  Jace squeezed her harder. He needed out of here. He needed to go home with her so he could make love to her immediately. “Let’s get out of here,” he whispered. “So long as you still want to be with me after what I just told you.”

  “I think you have to wait until morning,” she told him. “They want to be sure everything is fine. And of course I want to be with you! Did you think I spent all this time here in an uncomfortable chair just so I could say good bye when you woke up? No. No way. You’re stuck with me.”

  “Fuck this,” he growled as he reached for the call button. “We’re going home.”

  Maddy didn’t think they’d let Jace go, but they did. The hospital they’d been in was private, exclusive, a place apparently set up to receive the kind of clients who might get shot in the line of duty but couldn’t actually report it. It was called Riverstone, and the doctor in charge was a lady named Dr. Puckett.

  Dr. Puckett didn’t take any crap, and she also didn’t let Jace go just because he wanted to. She said she’d speak with Ian. Thirty minutes later she was back, and Jace was free.

  A car arrived to take them back to her place. When they arrived, Kitty was waiting. So was Ty. He stood and stretched from his position on the couch, smiling at them.

  “Hey, there,” he said.

  Maddy snatched up Kitty and hugged her tight, burying her face in the cat’s fur while she tried not to shake apart and sob. Kitty purred, completely nonplussed by her adventures. Jace talked to Ty and then there was silence. Maddy turned to see that Ty had departed.

  Kitty began to struggle and Maddy set her down. Jace looked strong and whole, though a big white bandage wrapped around his arm.

  “Come here,” he said, opening his arms.

  Maddy did as he asked, rushing into them and hugging him tight. “You took a bullet for me,” she said on a rush. “You shouldn’t have done that. Don’t ever do that again.”

  He chuckled and kissed her hair. “Maddy, baby, I’d do it again. And again. I promised you I’d protect you. That’s non-negotiable.”

  She sniffed and tipped her head back so she could meet his eyes. “I don’t want you taking any bullets. Not again. Not for me.”

  He squeezed her ass, and desire flared to life inside her. “I don’t intend to, but if I have to I will. You’re it for me, Maddy Cole. My reason for being. I’ll protect you with my dying breath if I have to.”

  “Stop,” she said, and then she kissed him.

  It didn’t take long for things to escalate. She worried about his arm, but he said he had no problem being the bottom to her top. And he didn’t. He kissed her from head to toe, licked her into a shattering orgasm while she put her knees on either side of his face and gripped the headboard, and then she rolled on a condom and lowered herself onto his hard cock.

  She sank down until he was deep inside her, then drew in a breath and let herself just feel everything that bombarded her at that moment. He gazed up at her, hands on her hips, eyes bright.

  “I love you, Maddy Cole. I want you to know that.”

  “I know it. I love you too. It’s so crazy, but I do.”

  “Then fuck me, baby.”

  Maddy swirled her hips and gasped at the sensation streaking through her. “All night long, honey. Or until one of us is comatose.”

  He snorted. And then he gripped her hips and drove up into her and Maddy forgot to breathe.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  It was a long while later when Maddy woke and went to make coffee. The night was fresh on her mind. The intensity of Jace’s lovemaking. The way she felt fierce and happy and determined all at once. He was hers, and she wasn’t giving him up without a fight. If he tried to leave again, she was going to knock some sense into him however she could.

  Maddy fed the cat, then poured coffee and carried it to the bedroom. Jace was sitting up in bed, looking sleepy and gorgeous at the same time. She climbed into bed with him, handed him coffee, and sipped hers. And then, because she didn’t plan to wait, she said what was on her mind.

  “If you’re thinking about telling me you have to leave me so you can keep me safe, I hope you realize that’s a bullshit excuse and I won’t accept it this time.”

  His eyes widened. “I wasn’t thinking it, actually.”

  “Good. Why not?”

  “You already know the worst. You know my name. You know my sister is Calypso—hell, I’m still wrapping my head around that one myself. I can’t promise it’s safe for you now that she’s caught but I hope it is.”

  “You aren’t leaving BDI, are you?” She knew he wouldn’t, but she had to ask.

  “No. It’s my job. It’s what I do. And I’m probably still a hunted man, Maddy. You need to consider that before you make any plans for the future with me.”

  She frowned as she remembered her dad and how he’d always been traveling to Russia. He’d spent so much time away, and she’d missed him. There were other things, little things, that hadn’t added up at the time. She thought about them now, and she wondered.

  “Jace…”

  “Yeah, baby?”

  “I think my dad might have been a spy.”

  He took her hand in his, rubbed his thumb in her palm. “I think that’s a good guess, Maddy.”

  She snapped her gaze to his. “Do you know something?”

  He sighed. “I know what was in his file. He did some work for the CIA. It wasn’t uncommon. Still isn’t. As a linguist, he’d h
ave been recruited.”

  Maddy processed that. Her gut churned but it wasn’t a surprise. Not really. Was that what drove her mother away in the end?

  “He died under mysterious circumstances. A heart attack, they said. In Moscow.”

  Jace squeezed her hand. “That’s what the file says.”

  “But nobody knows for sure, do they?”

  He kissed her palm and she shivered. “No, I don’t think they do.”

  Maddy withdrew her hand and wrapped her arm around her body. The other still held the coffee. Her heart ached. Her eyes stung.

  Jace flipped the sheet back and swung his legs over the bed. He went into the bathroom and when he came back, he was wearing the clothes he’d had on last night.

  “Where are you going?” she asked.

  He looked at her. “I don’t know. But I don’t want to hurt you, Maddy. You’re upset and I get it. So I’m going to leave so you can process this alone.”

  Maddy set her coffee down and stood. She’d slipped on one of his T-shirts that he’d forgotten when they’d left for the safe house. It came to mid-thigh, but she was naked beneath it. She popped her hands on her hips and glared. “You’re going to abandon me? After everything?”

  He looked confused. “Abandon you? I thought you’d want me gone. Your dad was a spy. I knew it and didn’t tell you. I didn’t tell you a lot of things—I figured you’d had enough of my chaotic existence.”

  She walked over and poked a finger in his chest. “In case you forgot, mister, I was willing to take a bullet for you—though you beat me to it. I love you, you thick-headed man! I’m going to get mad at you—I may even yell at you—but you don’t need to abandon me every time I look at you cross-eyed. Not ever. I know what I’m getting into, and I want it. I want you.”

  He just stared at her and she thought he might finally be getting it. He was so used to people failing him, to being on his own and never knowing love and belonging. He’d been running since he was ten years old. But he could stop now because she wasn’t leaving him.

  He swore and then he swept her up hard against his body and kissed the living daylights out of her. Then he ripped the T-shirt off and worshipped her nipples while she clutched his shoulders and begged him for more.

  By the time he tossed her on the bed and came down on top of her, she was wet and ready and hungry for him. He growled as he entered her, his hard cock gliding deep and touching all the sensitive spaces within.

  “I love you, Maddy,” he groaned against her neck as he exploded a short while later. “I’m never leaving you. Never.”

  She wrapped her arms and legs around him and held him tight while they trembled and floated back down to earth. “We’re in this together,” she whispered. “Always.”

  “Always,” he repeated.

  Jace stared at the door to the room Ian had led him to and hesitated. “I’m not sure about this.”

  “Neither am I. But you need to see her,” Ian said. “For your own peace of mind.”

  “Did she say who’s hunting me?”

  “She won’t share the name, no. But you don’t have to worry about it anymore. Nikolai Orlov is dead. He died in that warehouse and nobody’s resurrecting him. I’ve paid people to forget he ever existed.”

  Jace could only gape at his friend and mentor. “How do you know it’s going to work? They didn’t forget me before, and I was nobody in the scheme of things.”

  Ian squeezed his shoulder. “Because I paid a lot of money, that’s why. You’re clear.”

  “Natasha knows.”

  “She does. But she won’t talk. It’s her skin if she does. The famous Calypso murdered you, Jace. If she goes back on that, she’ll endanger her own life with those who will no longer trust her.”

  “She’s going back to the Syndicate.”

  “I think she is, yes.”

  “You’re risking a lot with her.”

  Ian’s gaze was hooded. “I know.”

  He gestured and the guard opened the door. Natasha sat in a chair on the far side of the table. She wasn’t restrained. Jace’s heart squeezed at the sight of her. His pretty baby sister. She’d been so young when he’d been conscripted into the army. When she’d been arrested, she’d barely been nineteen.

  He walked inside and the door closed behind him. “Hello, Natasha.”

  “Nikolai.”

  “I prefer Jace,” he said. He had mixed emotions about her. She was still a blond-haired baby girl in his mind, but she’d also terrified Maddy and Angie and shot Colt. He had a hard time forgiving her for that even if he didn’t hate her for it.

  She nodded. “Jace then. How are you?”

  He went over and dragged out a chair. Sat. “Do you care?”

  “I don’t know. I’m trying.”

  He gestured to his arm. “It hurts but I’ll live. So will Colt. Either you’re a lousy shot or you’re beyond amazing.”

  She grinned and it shocked him. “I like the second one. Let’s go with that one.”

  He put his hands on the table. She didn’t reciprocate. “What happened to you, baby girl? What did they do?”

  Her grin faded. Her expression hardened. “Nothing I care to share with you.”

  He reached for her hand. She resisted but ultimately gave up. He stared at her, trying to communicate his heartbreak and sadness for what had happened. There was a human inside that shell. He knew it and he wanted to reach her. “You’re my sister. I love you. If I’d known you were alive I’d have broken down those walls, I swear to you.”

  “You could not have done so. They would have tortured you too.”

  He dropped his gaze, furious, hurt, lost. It landed on the mermaid on her arm. It took him a moment, but he realized that mermaid was covering scar tissue. Fury ate at him like acid. He wanted Maddy here with him. She would help him process this. But she was in another room, waiting.

  She’d understood that he needed to see his sister. She’d encouraged it. But he knew she was worried. And he knew she didn’t much care for Natasha after what she’d done.

  But Maddy was still there, waiting with her sunny smile and her warm hugs. Her sweet, sweet beauty that grounded him. He would do anything for her. Anything.

  “I’m sorry,” he said.

  “Yes, well, sorry is such a pretty word. It does nothing though, does it?”

  He looked up, speared his gaze into hers. “I swear to you, Natasha—I did not know. I did not. I was told you were all executed. There was nothing I could do. If I had known, I would have worked ceaselessly to get you out.”

  She withdrew her hand. Folded her arms over her chest. “Well, we will never know, will we?”

  He didn’t know what to do. He wanted her to understand. Wanted to convince her. And then he thought of something. He reached for the pistol tucked into his waistband and withdrew it. Natasha flinched. But he grabbed her hand, put the pistol in it, wrapped her fingers around it. She was deadly with a weapon and he knew it. His baby sister.

  “I swear to you on my life, Natasha. If you don’t believe me, shoot me.” He pulled her hand up, placed the barrel against his chest. His heart thumped and Maddy filled his head. What the hell are you doing?

  But he knew. He had to do it. If he had any chance at a normal life, a life where he wasn’t being hunted, he had to convince this woman right here that he was in her corner. That he’d never abandoned her or forgotten her.

  A tear leaked down her cheek. Her lips trembled. He dropped his hand away and she shoved the pistol harder against his chest. For a moment he thought he’d made a mistake.

  But then she dropped the weapon on the table and shook her head. “I don’t know what I believe, Nikolai—Jace. But my will to kill you is gone.”

  He holstered the weapon, shaking a little as he did so. Then he got up and went around the table, bent down and wrapped his arms around her. She didn’t reciprocate, but she shook.

  “You’re my sister and I love you. In spite of what you did to Maddy. But
Natasha, if you ever come for her again—if you ever harm a hair on her head, I swear to you that I will end you. There will be no place you can hide, no sanctuary that will protect you. I’ll kill you without a second thought.”

  She started to laugh. Then she pushed him away. He dropped his arms and stood. “You are weak over that woman. That’s how I found you. Your weakness. Are you sure she’s worth it?”

  “I’m sure.”

  She stared straight ahead. “I won’t see you again,” she said. “When I am free, I’m returning to Russia.”

  “You don’t have to. You can stay. Ian will fix everything.”

  Her gaze was hot. “There are some things even he cannot fix.” She shook her head. “I’m going. But you don’t have to fear me anymore. I won’t be back. Not for you, not for Maddy Cole. I have other things to take care of.”

  Jace sucked in a breath. Then he bent and kissed her forehead. Swiftly, before she could react. “Take care of yourself, baby sister. If you ever need me, I’m here. All you have to do is ask.”

  He walked out of the room without a backward glance. He couldn’t walk the path with her. But he hoped she’d find her way again.

  He strode down the hall and into the waiting area where Maddy sat on a chair. She jumped up as he entered. Then she rushed over and threw her arms around him, squeezing him tight. He squeezed back.

  Love flooded him, crowding out the unhappiness and hurt. This woman. She was everything. He tipped her head back and kissed her. She clung to him. She’d filled all the empty spaces inside him, made him whole again.

  “Are you okay?” she asked when he let her breathe.

  He smiled down at her. “Yes, I’m fine. Natasha is who she is, but I don’t think she’s completely lost. There’s hope for her.”

  “I pray you are right.” She smiled a watery smile and he knew her tears were for him. For how his emotions might be in chaos right now. God, he loved her. No one else cared for him as she did.

  “I love you, Maddy Cole.”

  She patted his chest. “I love you too, Jace Kaiser.”