Awakened Desires

by Duvall, K. Lynne

  Malcolm grumbled as he took out a plate of fresh fish from the refrigerator and sat down to eat. He realized he shouldn't have brushed her off. She was so uneasy nowadays, ever since their brother had run off earlier this year.

  Their brother, Marcus, was very sick with ARS and they had been taking care of him here in the home their father had left to them after he died. It was high in the mountains and secluded enough where they wouldn't have to worry about the watchful eyes of other people. He and Veronique thought Marcus would be safe here until they renovated one of their other homes and created a better place for him to live. But while they were waiting for everything to be completed, the illness caused Marcus to completely lose his mind and run away.

  Neither Malcolm or Veronique were successful in their attempts at finding their brother. Malcolm was close to giving up on him, but Veronique begged him to continue, and so they had. They spent months and months of searching, but were no closer to finding him at all.

  "I'm sorry, Veronique," he told her. "I'll let you know next time if I'll be late."

  She sat down at the table next to him. "It's okay," she told him even as she reached for his plate and picked the crumbs from it like she used to do when she was a child. She did that whenever she was upset.

  "You haven't been looking for him then?" she asked placing a crumb in her mouth.

  "No," he replied with a sigh. "No. I just needed a break."

  "Then where have you been?"

  "Driving," he told her.

  "Driving?"

  "Just driving."

  How could he explain it to her, he wondered? He had to drive because he didn't trust himself not to hunt down that woman from the parking lot. He didn't want to think about Marcus anymore. He only wanted to think about her and she was absolutely exquisite. Her oval face had the desert eyes of a Cleopatra. She had beautiful bow-shaped lips. Her skin was a sweet brown, lighter than his own ink-black, yet dark and rich like molasses.

  She was an average height, probably about five feet six inches tall, he decided, but he towered over her like a skyscraper next to a flower. He wondered if that had made her uncomfortable. He hoped it didn't. Her size was of little consequence to him. Especially since her frame held the type of curves he liked. Full breasts. Belly dancer hips. And a nice juicy ass.

  He was surprised to learn she even existed. He wondered how long she'd been working at the call center right under his nose. For the longest time he had dreams about her. Extremely erotic dreams that made him wake up in unreleased pain. But being without companionship for so long, and never encountering anyone who even remotely looked like her, Malcolm never realized he'd created a link with her. If he had known she was alive and real he would have sought her out long ago and fulfilled his dick's hunger.

  The last time he thought he'd been linked with anyone, it had been with Julia. He believed he would be with her forever. She was another beautiful woman with long reddish-brown hair and a light caramel skin instead of chocolate. However, she was nothing like the lush rose he'd seen today.

  In the past, he thought he would have done anything for Julia. He thought he loved her so much, but she had betrayed him. And then he'd almost been killed because of her. And after that, he decided it was best to be alone.

  He'd been with many women throughout the years. Touched and tasted so many women, but gave up on the chance of finding someone he'd be able to connect with. Someone who might actually love him. His own true lalid. Were the dreams a sign that his fate had changed? Was the woman he met today truly the one he was waiting for?

  "Who is she?" Veronique said bringing his thoughts back to the kitchen.

  He didn't play dumb. His sister had the same ability that he had to watch a mind and figure something out. Usually she was better at it than he was.

  "I don't know who she is, Ronnie. But I need to find out."

  "You're going to abandon Marcus, then?" she said in disbelief. "She's an outsider and you have an obligation to your family."

  Though he and his brother were twins, Marcus and Veronique were more like twin souls. It hurt her more that their brother was gone than it did him.

  "I promise, Veronique. I won't stop looking for him," he told her.

  "I hope I can believe you, Malcolm." Sadly, she got up and walked away.

  Malcolm didn't like how she always questioned him. When had he ever shown himself to be so unreliable? He had always taken care of his responsibilities. He'd always done exactly what he was supposed to do. For once, he wanted to pursue his own desires without having to be criticized for it.

  Veronique was just spoiled, he thought as he ate his food. Ironically, it was his fault. His fault and his brother's. When their parents died and it had been left to him and Marcus to raise her, they made sure that she got everything she ever wanted. Not a good idea.

  She was right, however. He couldn't just abandon his brother. Especially not for someone who may not even want him.

  Dammit, where are you Marcus, he thought sadly. His heart filled with pain knowing his brother was lost, alone, and getting worse in his disease. He knew he had to continue his search for him. But he also knew he had to pursue the woman as well.

  Karyn was sitting at a table by herself in the company's lunchroom when she sensed movement behind her. She nudged her chair up a little intending to let whomever it was pass between her and the crowded tables.

  "Please don't move. You're fine."

  It was him, she thought, recognizing the deep voice. The man from the parking lot. All evening, she thought about what the significance of their meeting meant. It had to be some sort of crazy coincidence, but instinctively she knew otherwise. It was disturbing to know that he had a direct knowledge of her fantasies when she didn't even know if she could trust him.

  "I'm happy to see you again, lalid." He said sitting down next to her. "It wasn't easy finding out who you were."

  There was that word again. Lalid. He used it many times during the dreams. It implied an intimacy and familiarity that made her suspicious of him. Karyn knew she could never have that with anyone.

  She started to wrap up her sandwich and put it back in her bag. She was going to go away and nip this thing in the bud right now. She wished she never met him but his hand shot out to cover hers. The sudden touch sent an electrode of sensation up her arm and into her blouse. She could feel her nipples perk in response silently asking to be touched too.

  "Don't leave. I want to talk to you."

  "So what you want is more important than what I want?" she replied.

  He seemed to study her carefully before he spoke again, more softly this time as he tried to calm her. "It isn't. But I think we should take the time to explore our link together."

  "What link?" She wished she could deny everything, but he wasn't in the habit of dancing around issues.

  "Should I go into the details of our dreams here?" he asked her. "Do you want me to say out loud how we lay naked together in your bed? How your thighs were spread so wide that I could see the juices of your body glisten against your pussy? How you begged me over and over again to fu--"

  "Look, I'm not going to discuss illicit dreams with you in public," she interrupted.

  "Fine. We don't have to. All I want right now is to learn more about you. I want to find out if we are truly destined to be together as I believe."

  "You're a grown man. You shouldn't believe in such nonsense," she said to him. "Dreams don't determine what we do in reality."

  "Maybe not. But aren't you even a little curious about what this might mean for us?'

  She lied to him. "No."

  "No?"

  "No. I just want you to leave me alone," she said.

  He sighed and stood up realizing that for now she wasn't going to budge. Good, she thought, until she saw the determined look on his face.

  "I'll leave you alone for now," he said, "But I won't give up. You may not like it but there is something between us, lalid."

  "Don't cal
l me that. My name is Karyn."

  "Okay then…Karyn, but you can't avoid me for long."

  CHAPTER TWO

  Despite telling him to leave her alone, the image of ‘Mr. Dream Lover' was still in Karyn's unconscious mind. They'd been making love in her dreams again and she had fast been coming to climax when he said something to her.

  "We're linked, Karyn."

  It reminded her of their conversation earlier that day and she woke up with a start. It was a thrilling fantasy, but it was too real. Somehow, a seed had been planted in her world and it was alive and growing. But into what, she didn't know. While she was thinking, her phone rang.

  Karyn half expected him to be at the other end, but he wasn't. It was only Tracey.

  "Well, you certainly sound happy to hear from me," her cousin said to her sarcastically.

  "I'm sorry, Tracey. I'm just not feeling like myself today."

  "Well, what's wrong, girl? Are you sick or something?"

  "Not exactly."

  "Okay, then, what is it?"

  Karyn sighed as she walked with the phone to the kitchen and started to search for something to eat. She found a bag of chips in her cabinet and opened them up.

  "Let's see. It sounds like you have your favorite bag of barbecue Krunch-ems," Tracey said. She paused for a moment and Karyn could hear the wheels spinning in her mind. "Is this about a man?"

  "I suppose it is."

  "I thought you gave up on men?"

  "I have, but…you know those dreams I've been having?"

  "Yeah. What about them?"

  "What do you want to bet that the guy in them is a real live person and that he works where I do?"

  "Get out of here! Are you serious?" Tracey said in surprise.

  Karyn put a chip in her mouth. "I'm completely serious. And he knows exactly what I've been dreaming."

  "Are you sure about that, Karyn? I don't like to say it but you are gullible sometimes."

  "Gullible!"

  "Yes, gullible. Maybe he just picked up on something you said or something you did..."

  "I don't think so," Karyn replied. She proceeded to tell her cousin about her entire experience with this man from the time he found her keys, right down to the last word he said to her today. She even told her about some of the details of her dream tonight keeping some of the more lurid parts under wraps.

  "Amazing," Tracey said once Karyn was finished explaining. "A hot fantasy lover come to life. Most people would say you two were destined to be together."

  "Oh, come on. He already tried to throw that nonsense at me." She crunched into another chip. "I'm not buying it, Trace."

  "That's too bad, girl. You should just go with the flow for once in your life and enjoy yourself."

  "Going with the flow gets you nowhere. Besides, I already tried that with Kevin. You see how disastrous that turned out."

  "Girl, fuck Kevin! I always hated that bastard. If you had listened to me back then, you never would've had any problems with him. So pay attention to me now. I have very good instincts about things like this. I mean, you may be book-smart, but I'm street smart and I'm telling you…"

  "Tracey, you grew up with rich parents and a mansion in Beverly Hills of all places. You're no more ‘street smart' than I am," Karyn interrupted.

  Tracey huffed into the phone. "Nevertheless, I still have good instincts. Mine tell me that this is happening for a reason. Maybe he's the guy you're waiting for. He may be the love of your life."

  "Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds?" Karyn asked. "I haven't been waiting for anyone least of all this guy. I don't know anything about him, Tracey."

  "So?"

  "So?" Karyn said in amazement. "So, he's probably like every other man I've been in a relationship with. They're all selfish and deceitful and I don't need to bother myself with them."

  "Fine then, forget the relationship. Go get a condom, fuck his brains out, and have some fun," Tracey said laughing. "That's what I would do."

  "God, you're so vulgar."

  "I know, sweetie. I know." Tracey paused for a moment. "Damn! I forgot the time. I need to go, Karyn. I have my own man to deal with tonight. I was just checking up on you."

  "Okay." Karyn was disappointed. She missed her cousin and she really needed someone to talk to.

  "Let me know what happens, alright?"

  "Nothing's going to happen," Karyn insisted.

  Tracey snickered. "Yeah, right. I'll call you later, girl." Then she hung up.

  Karyn continued to eat her chips while she thought about that guy. To be honest, Tracey did tend to have better instincts than she did about people, but she had to be wrong about this. There was no way this man could be the love of her life. That was just plain idiotic.

  Love, for one, did not exist. At least it didn't for her. Everyone who claimed they loved her had all proven otherwise.

  Besides, she thought as she kept eating, even if love really did exist, she doubted this man was the one for her. Dreams aside, when she looked into his eyes there was too much intensity. She didn't want an intense relationship. If she had to choose, she just wanted a simple, uncomplicated one. Karyn had a feeling that if she got involved in any way with this man, whether for real or for fun, it wouldn't be uncomplicated at all. She was nearly thirty years old and too old for anything else. She did not want any more drama in her life and this man was drama with a capital D. That's what her instincts told her.

  Him again, Karyn thought.

  It seemed like she was seeing him everywhere nowadays, when before, she never had any clue that he even existed. One minute, she had been minding her own business picking produce in Pete's Groceries, the next minute she turned around to find him watching her. He seemed to be deep in thought, but she had no idea as to what was going on in his mind.

  It was because of her damned cunt. Because of her dreams it had a habit of contracting whenever she laid eyes on him as though anticipating an orgasm. It made it difficult for her to think straight. All she could think about right now was the last dream she had where she sat upon her dinner table. She had nothing on and her legs were spread while he ate whipped cream and...

  "Strawberries."

  "I'm sorry, what?" Karyn blinked. Somehow without her noticing he had made his way over to her.

  "Buy the strawberries, lalid," he said to her. We'll see how they taste together."

  He picked out some strawberries and placed them in her cart. Karyn wondered why the hell she wasn't trying to stop him.

  "You're very bold, aren't you?"

  "I am," he confirmed as he took her cart and moved it towards the raspberries. He picked a few out and put them in her cart too.

  "You're pretty bold yourself."

  "How so?"

  "You're trying to pretend you don't want me even though I see it quite clearly in you."

  Karyn pursed her lips in annoyance. Not because of what he said, but because she knew it was the truth. But attraction aside, Karyn already decided that sex with him wouldn't be worth it, even if she discovered he was the best lover in the universe.

  What would ultimately happen is that he would do something that was destructive to her spirit. She had enough of that with Kevin who was egotistical and insincere. In hindsight, she realized that she had no business being with him but the damage had already been done.

  No matter. She didn't move to this town to think about Kevin all day or this new guy. She just wanted to get her groceries and be left alone.

  "You can't be left alone forever, Karyn."

  "I can if you stop bothering me," she told him.

  His studied her with those unusual eyes again.

  "I don't want to stop," he replied. "I don't even think I can."

  It was the truth. When he first entered the store, Malcolm hadn't been sure what brought him here. Now he knew the fates were pushing them together.

  He'd been searching for Marcus earlier that evening -- for the last few days, actually. This past week Malcolm
thought he had caught wind of his brother at several different places. He searched those places with no success. Filled with frustration and anger he decided to take a break. Somehow, he had been drawn to this place and that's when he found Karyn.

  Thank the angels, he had. He needed it. Just being around her brought him relief because physically he was exhausted. In order to find Marcus he had to use their connection as twins as a kind of compass and doing it was painful.

  It was like that time when they were children and Malcolm fell off his horse and broke his leg. Marcus claimed his own leg hurt him all those weeks that it actually took Malcolm to heal. It wasn't easy listening to his brother's complaints.

  Now he understood a little of that feeling. Marcus had never really been injured or sick until now and trying to mentally locate his brother's whereabouts hooked Malcolm directly into his disease.

  For the past few days, Malcolm had suffered. He felt nauseous and irritable. His eyes hurt and he had trouble concentrating. He half wondered if he was developing ARS himself, but he knew that it was a gradual disease and not something that would explode on him all of a sudden. But as he looked at Karyn, he felt instant peace.

  He followed peace as she did her grocery shopping.

  Karyn wondered if she should worry about him following her. She certainly didn't want to end up like the women in the newspapers, mutilated and murdered because they were hanging around the wrong person. Even men had a hard time these days. She remembered an article in one newspaper that was about a huge block party downtown where some guy had his neck severed. There were no witnesses and the police were still looking for his killer.

  Oddly enough, though, she felt like she didn't have anything to fear from this man. She actually felt safe around him despite his unwillingness to just leave her be. She also felt like she understood him even though they hadn't said much to one another.

  He certainly seemed to read her thoughts well enough. He picked her groceries for her and put them in the cart as if they were already a couple and he had done it thousands of times before.