Visions of Hope

by Candace Murrow

"Leave her with me, at least for a couple of days. I can work with her and talk to her about you, help her remember."

  "I hate to leave her. We've been apart for so long."

  "I know, but I have counseling experience. I can help her heal and remember. I can at least get her to the point of knowing who you are."

  "I trust you. I know you're right. You've been right about everything so far."

  Libby caressed his hand, and he put his other hand on top of hers and gave it a squeeze. Her eyes softened. A warmth spread though him. He was on the verge of kissing her when Ellen and the child returned to the table.

  Kipp let go of Libby's hand and watched the child slide into the chair with a stuffed kitten. "What have you got there, Kelly?"

  The child furrowed her brow, then resumed playing with the toy.

  "You should go if you're going," Libby said. "Your eyelids are drooping. Or would you rather stay here and nap?"

  "I better go. Once I lie down, I'll probably be out for hours."

  He edged around the table, squatted beside the child, and held his hand out to her. With her head lowered, her eyes wary, she laid her hand in his palm. Kipp brightened. He glanced up at Libby, then at the child. "I'll see you soon, baby bear." Her head bobbed up, and he took it as a green light to give her a hug, but when he held out his arms, she scooted off the chair and dashed to Libby's side. His heart sank.

  Libby rubbed the child's back. "Don't worry, Kipp. She'll come around. I promise."

  Ellen went into the kitchen and returned with a small thermos of coffee for him. "Just in case." She took the girl's hand and led her into the kitchen for some chocolate milk.

  Libby walked Kipp to the door. "Why don't you leave me the picture of you holding Kelly? I'll use it to help jog her memory."

  Kipp took the photo from his wallet.

  "Why did you call her that name?"

  "Baby bear? That was my nickname for her when she was a baby. She loved her stuffed bear."

  "Then bring the bear with you when you come back. It might help."

  The ache of leaving his daughter barely overshadowed the ache of leaving Libby. The last several days had been intense and had increased his feelings for her. His heart overflowed with emotion, and he took her into his arms. She leaned into his embrace. He held her, and she accepted the closeness without drawing back. Her face was wet with tears. He smiled and kissed her cheek. "We need to talk."

  "You better go," she said.

  He looked past Libby toward the kitchen, listening to Ellen converse with the child. He was one step away from scooping his daughter into his arms, but he forced his attention back to Libby and hugged her one last time. "I'll be back Wednesday."

  * * *

  CHAPTER 27

  Libby waved goodbye to Kipp. As much as she tried to fight it, she knew she would miss him. He was impatient, he had a stubborn streak as wide as the Mississippi, and he could be curt at times, but under the circumstances, she couldn't judge him. His sensitive and loving side eclipsed anything negative.

  She felt a tap on her shoulder.

  "Earth to Libby. Are you going to stand there all day?"

  "He's been through a lot."

  "So have you," Ellen said. "Why don't you take a nice hot bath, and I'll watch baby bear."

  Libby spent as much time as she dared away from the child, luxuriating in a soothing bubble bath. When she emerged from the bathroom, the girl ran to her and threw her arms around her.

  "I guess we know who Mommy is," Ellen said.

  Libby squatted and hugged the child. "Everything's going to be all right, little girl."

  With Ellen's help Libby unbraided the girl's hair and bathed and cared for her. She rummaged through a bedroom drawer and found a tee shirt that could serve as a nightgown. "She's going to need clothes."

  "I can shop for you, Libby, since I have more experience at it."

  "I'll start working with her tomorrow, and you can go shopping," Libby said. "Right now, she needs to de-stress from the trip."

  The girl stayed close to Libby's side.

  "She doesn't talk much."

  "Her speech may have been arrested when she was kidnapped. Kipp may have to have a speech therapist work with her. Or it could be, once we unlock her memory and she feels safe again, she'll speak freely."

  Libby found paper and crayons, sat the child at the table, and encouraged her to play.

  Ellen made jasmine tea, and they sat in the living room in close proximity to the girl.

  Libby propped her feet on the coffee table. "Those were the longest days of my life. I'm glad I have the rest of the week off."

  "Looks like you're going to need it."

  "It worked out, didn't it?"

  "I want to know all the details. Where did you find her?"

  Careful to keep her voice down, Libby told Ellen how she led them to the polygamist community, how they were led to Grace and Rebecca, and how, with Rebecca's help, they were able to retrieve Kipp's daughter. Ellen wanted to discuss the strange community, but Libby thought it a bad idea.

  "The whole thing gives me chills," Ellen said. "You are amazing."

  "That's what Kipp said."

  "Oh?" Ellen raised her eyebrows.

  "Here we go again. I know what you're thinking."

  "Since you brought it up, did anything of a romantic nature transpire?"

  "There wasn't time for anything like that."

  "Are you sure? The way you two were holding each other."

  "Holding each other?"

  "At the door before he left. I peeked around the corner and saw you two."

  "That was just a friendly hug goodbye."

  "Looked more like a sweltering embrace. When are you two going to quit pussyfooting around and admit your feelings for each other?"

  "You know why I can't give in to my feelings."

  "Aha! You admit you have feelings for him."

  "Maybe I do, but I can't act on them."

  "That's bullshit."

  Libby nodded toward the girl and shushed Ellen.

  "Oops." Ellen glanced toward the girl and back. "I thought she'd be hysterical when you brought her here."

  "She was pretty upset when she came out of the woods, but I calmed her using my energy technique. She really responded."

  "Is she going to be all right? I mean, will she ever warm up to Kipp?"

  "I think deep down she knows Kipp is her daddy. It's just that her memory needs a little prompting," Libby said. "With a case like this, Kipp is going to be faced with a few challenges. My instinct tells me she'll eventually be all right. She's so special to him."

  "Why don't you give Kipp a chance to be someone special to you?" Getting no response, Ellen said, "It's the cancer thing, isn't it?"

  "It's not just that," Libby said. "He's going to have to spend time with his child, and his ex-wife will be in the picture. The timing is bad."

  "And if it wasn't?"

  "Ellen, I'm too tired to discuss it. Let's talk about you and Charlie."

  Ellen's smile drooped.

  "What's with the gloomy expression?"

  "There is no Charlie."

  "What happened? The last time I talked to you, you two had spent a night together."

  "Mel spoiled everything."

  "Mel? I thought you were through with him."

  Ellen gave Libby a rundown of her fabulous night with Charlie and explained how Mel took her to dinner and tried to woo her with compliments and diamond earrings.

  "So, you dumped Charlie for Mel, the man who every day of the year treats you like you-know-what?"

  "It's more like Charlie dumped me."

  "That doesn't sound like Charlie."

  "Well, he didn't dump me. He's just backing off, giving me space to work things out."

  "How do you feel about that?"

  Ellen took a long sip of tea. "Lousy."

  "Meaning?"

  "Meaning I miss Charlie, but I'm still mixed up."

  "Do yo
u want to know what I sense about the situation?"

  "Oh, yeah. I'm so glad you're back. I need your insights."

  "I wish you would get your own insights, but I want to save my dearest friend the heartache, so here goes." Libby set her cup on the coffee table and shifted toward Ellen. "When you told me you were leaving Mel, I had these pictures flash through my mind. I saw you with a tall, curly-haired man Charlie's size, with the same ruddy complexion. I got the symbol of two hands interlocked together, which to me means something permanent."

  Ellen wilted.

  "That doesn't make you happy?"

  "It doesn't un-mix my emotions," Ellen said. "Mel said all the right things. Plus, he reminded me I have to think about the kids. And I do. And get that disgusted look off your face."

  "Have you forgotten about the discussion you had with your daughter?"

  "No."

  "It sounded to me like she was doing just fine with your decision to separate," Libby said. "So, don't let him guilt you into going back to a life of half-baked promises. Just compare how Charlie treats you with Mel's actions. Then make your decision. If you want my bottom-line advice, I say don't let Charlie get away."

  "I hope you're listening to your own advice," Ellen said, "because Kipp is a great catch, too."

  Just then the little girl in the big tee shirt came running across the room and climbed onto the couch next to Libby.

  * * *

  CHAPTER 28

  On his way home Kipp called Charlie on his cell phone. When Charlie found out about Kipp's plans to go to Seattle to the FBI field office, he volunteered to go with him.

  Tuesday morning Charlie picked up Kipp, and they made the drive together. Kipp had to explain the details of his daughter's rescue, and Charlie tagged along to be a character witness for Kipp in case the FBI cast suspicions Kipp's way.

  After hearing Kipp's story and questioning him for a while, they told Kipp they would contact the field office in Salt Lake City and send an agent to talk to Grace and Rebecca to verify the details and get a description of the couple who had kidnapped Kelly. They said they would be in contact with him later.

  Satisfied everything was being done to apprehend the kidnappers, Kipp and Charlie left for home. When they arrived in Port Anderson, Kipp suggested they get something to eat at The Fish and Ale.

  It was another warm summer day, typical of the Pacific Northwest in August. The air conditioner in Charlie's truck shielded them from the heat, but Kipp welcomed the open feel of the pub with its salty air. A few sailboats were tied up to the adjoining pier.

  Instead of his usual seat at the bar, Kipp led Charlie to a table where they could have an unobstructed view of the harbor. Sam waved hello to Kipp when he passed by. The waitress took their order and brought them two ice waters.

  Kipp glanced around to see if he recognized anyone. The place was beginning to fill with the early dinner crowd.

  "We were so busy talking about your trip and the rescue, I forgot to ask about Tanya," Charlie said. "When's she coming to see Kelly?"

  "I haven't talked to her yet," Kipp said. "Right now she's on a plane to Australia. I left a message at her hotel. Hopefully, she'll call soon. To tell you the truth, though, I'd rather have some time alone with Kelly before she gets here."

  "Yeah, but she should know."

  "I know that. But you know how she is. She'll want to take over, even if it's not in Kelly's best interest. She'll make everything about herself."

  "What do you plan to do?"

  "I'm not sure," Kipp said. "It all depends on Kelly and how she's doing. But I'll tell you, Charlie, it's taking every ounce of strength to keep from driving to Libby's and embracing my baby girl. I'm counting the minutes until I can see her again."

  The waitress interrupted them with their order of hamburgers and fries. Charlie dumped a mound of ketchup on his plate. "Why don't you drive down this evening?"

  "Libby told me to wait, and I trust her judgment. You should have seen how Kelly took to her. It was like they were mother and daughter, I swear."

  "There's another reason to pursue that woman."

  "I don't need any more reasons."

  "So, what's stopping you?"

  "Libby."

  "Why? Did you put the moves on her and get shot down?"

  "She won't even give me a chance to think about it." Kipp thought back on the last few days. "You know, Charlie, the woman is the most gentle, loving soul, but as soon as she begins to open up, she shifts into business mode, and I can't get close to her. I know she cares about me. We've had moments. I can feel it."

  "She's had cancer. Did you know that?"

  "Cancer?"

  "Breast cancer. Ellen told me."

  "Jesus, I had no idea."

  "Yeah. From what Ellen said, she had to go through chemo and radiation, the works. She didn't have a mastectomy, but I guess she might as well have. They kept having to go in to remove suspicious areas, so you can imagine."

  "Then that explains it."

  "What?"

  "She seemed overly modest on the trip. We had to share a room a couple of times, and she wouldn't even change into pajamas with me out of the room. Jesus, I had no idea."

  "So, knowing that, how do you feel about things?"

  "About getting to know Libby?"

  "Well, yeah, being with a woman who's had that kind of surgery, with all the complications?"

  "I don't know. It certainly doesn't change the great person she is."

  "Yeah, but what about being intimate?"

  "Hey, we're not anywhere near that." Kipp bit into his hamburger, chewed a while. "What about you and Ellen?"

  Charlie gave him a thumbs-down. "Let's move on to another topic."

  "That bad, huh?"

  "Let's just say she's in the wounded-buffalo stage, the one I was in right after my divorce. I don't know which way she's going to turn next."

  "Are you going to wait it out?"

  "Don't know. It depends on her."

  "You must really like her," Kipp said. "I haven't known you to spend a whole night with a woman since the divorce, unless you're holding out on me."

  "That's the truth, but hell, why did I have to pick a woman with ten tons of baggage fresh out of a twenty-year marriage? If I'd never answered the call that night..."

  "Why was she so scared, anyway?"

  "The door was open when she got home. She thought it might be Libby's ex snooping around. You should have seen her brandishing that pistol. She looked like she had palsy, the way she was shaking." He chuckled.

  "What is Libby doing with a gun?"

  "Her ex. She didn't mention him?"

  "In passing, but she didn't elaborate."

  "I guess he's a real piece of work. Beat her up a number of times. Left her when she got the cancer."

  "Jesus." More than ever, Kipp wanted to throw his arms around her, hug her close, protect her in some way.

  "But the clinker?" Charlie said. "He's an ex-cop."

  "She seems so strong, like she has it all together. What would she be doing with a man like that?"

  "That was my thought," Charlie said. "Who would have known?"

  At the thought of Libby's misfortune, Kipp lost his appetite and shoved the half-eaten burger aside. "Let's get out of here."

  Charlie stuffed the last few fries in his mouth and followed Kipp to the bar where Kipp insisted on paying the bill.

  Charlie dropped Kipp off at his house and headed back to Harbordale with the promise of being available whenever Kipp needed him.

  Kipp looked forward to the end of the evening because he would be that much closer to seeing Kelly. He opened the door to a ringing phone.

  Tanya greeted him from Sydney. "I got your message. You said it was urgent. Is it your parents?"

  "It's Kelly. I've found her, Tannie."

  "You did what?" She paused. "Oh, my God. Our baby, our baby. Is it true? Where? Where is she?"

  Kipp had to stop her from getting hysterical,
so he could give her the details about the kidnappers and the polygamist community. He told her about Grace and Rebecca. He told her about the rescue, leaving out Libby's part in it. He wanted to explain that detail in person.

  By the time Kipp was finished with the story, Tanya was sniffling. "How did you know she was there?"

  "I'll explain that when you get here. Can you get a flight out?"

  "I just got here, Kipp. I'll have to see. Of course, I'll be there as soon as I can. Oh, Kipp, honey, our baby." She resumed sobbing.

  "Can you take a cab from the airport?"

  "Can't you pick me up?"

  "Kelly's not ready to be thrown into a place like that." He didn't want to discuss Kelly's state of mind over the phone.

  "Why not, Kipp? Why can't you and Kelly pick me up?"

  "Tanya, trust me. It's better if you catch a cab and we wait here."

  "I don't see why you two can't come!"

  Already Kipp found himself getting irritated with her insensitive attitude. "Think of Kelly, Tanya. She's been through a lot."

  "All right. All right. I'll call you when I get in. I love you, sweetie." She hung up.

  Weary from this three-minute exchange, he kicked off his shoes, disrobed, and fell into bed early. The light from outside cast shadows on the rug, and children's voices sounded down the road. Despite the distractions, he hoped to sleep.

  Mentally, he was drained, but he stayed awake long enough to calculate how much time he would have with Kelly before Tanya arrived. He hoped for at least a full day. It all depended on how Kelly responded to him. If she had difficulty, he would have to leave her with Libby, and he wondered how he was going to explain that situation to Kelly's own mother.

  Libby had been a godsend. In the last few days, she had been more of a mother to Kelly than Tanya ever was.

  He thought about everything Libby had gone through: the cancer, the abuse. She deserved so much more than that.

  Now that he knew her secrets, her reasons for being so closed up, he wondered if he would ever have the opportunity to embrace her fully the way he wanted to. He'd always been with women who were near-perfect physically. Could he overlook Libby's surgery? He'd cross that bridge when he came to it--if he was ever given the chance.