Paprika

by Yasutaka Tsutsui

  But Noda knew enough about the DC Mini and its functions to realize that he couldn’t ignore his conversation with Paprika, just because it had been in a dream. It had been so clear: Paprika was really asking for his help. Perhaps, due to some foul trickery, she really was unable to wake up, she really was in trouble. What should he do? Shinjuku Station, she’d said. But there would be no point in actually going there. He would have to use a DC Mini and go to help her in her dream. Something he’d previously mentioned in jest was now coming true. The DC Minis were in her apartment. He had to get there. Noda stood up.

  11

  “So there’s really no other way, is there? We have to put the DC Minis on, go to sleep and help Paprika in her dream,” Noda concluded after hearing all about it from the police officers and discussing things briefly with Konakawa.

  Noda had come to Atsuko’s apartment saying he’d felt a vague premonition. He didn’t mention that Paprika had communicated with him in a dream. Konakawa might have believed it, but the other two would surely have questioned his sanity. He would tell his friend about it later.

  “But this is psychotherapy, specialist work. And highly technical too. We haven’t got the skills!” Konakawa protested. “What would happen if we all fell asleep?!”

  “That’s why we have to join Paprika, to find a way of waking up together.”

  “In a dream?”

  “In a dream.”

  Morita and Ube looked on open-mouthed.

  “You’re saying we can only help her by getting inside her head? Then so be it,” Konakawa said resolutely. “Shall I go first? If she still doesn’t wake up, you come after me.”

  “No. I think we should both go at the same time,” argued Noda. “We don’t know which of us will be more useful to her.”

  “Once we’re asleep, be sure to remove the devices from our heads quickly,” Konakawa instructed his juniors. “If the DC Mini has the effect of deepening sleep, it must be dangerous to keep it on after entering a dream.”

  “Er, you keep talking about going to sleep,” Morita said with some misgiving, “but can you really go to sleep right here, just like that? And anyway, where will you do it? There are only two beds. If you put Miss Chiba on one of them, that leaves only one. Someone is going to have to sleep on the sofa. That’s not going to be easy.”

  “We’d better sleep close together,” Noda said, as if to banish Morita’s fears. “We don’t know what might happen as a side effect of the DC Mini. We’d better forget about distinguishing dream and reality from now on.” Noda blushed under the astonished glare of the officers. Yes, what he’d just said must have sounded utterly bizarre. “Anyway, we can’t leave Paprika in this pitiful state forever. Let’s move her to the bed. She’s moving, yes, but it’s not like during her treatment, when she needs to operate the PT devices. I’ll sleep in the chair instead of her. I know a bit about computers. If Paprika gives me instructions in the dream, I might be able to operate the devices somehow.”

  “Can you really get to sleep in that chair?” Konakawa, himself a poor sleeper, said with a dubious look at Noda.

  “Don’t worry about me. I can take naps during meetings while I’m pretending to think about something,” Noda replied. “And anyway, I was up early today. I feel quite sleepy already.”

  Morita and Ube lifted Atsuko and placed her on her own bed. Konakawa lay fully clothed on the patient’s bed, while Noda sat facing the PT equipment. Atsuko started to moan quietly, making occasional movements. Her face was virtually expressionless, but faint echoes of sorrow or suffering would occasionally flit across her features. Her appearance was at once childlike and alluring. As Noda put the DC Mini on his head, he was sure she’d been transformed into Paprika in her dream.

  Konakawa was convinced that he would soon be making those muffled “can’t get to sleep” noises, but tried to force himself to sleep anyway. He groped at the DC Mini on his head to check that it was still there. All he could do now was to rely on the soporific effect of the device.

  “I can’t sleep with you two standing there,” Konakawa barked at his two subordinates, who hovered anxiously near the door. “Go in the next room, will you?”

  There was nothing for them to do at that point anyway.

  “All right. We’ll wait till you’re asleep, then come and remove the devices.”

  Morita and Ube transferred to the living room, leaving the three in the gloomy half-light of the bedroom, accompanied only by the quiet sound of their own breathing.

  “She seems to be in some kind of park with a fountain,” Noda said as he watched the monitor screen. Judging by the tone of his voice, he was already beginning to feel drowsy. Or perhaps he was deliberately using that tone to help Konakawa get to sleep, aware of the soporific effect it would have on him. “She’s waiting for us there. I’m sure of it.”

  “We need to get there quick.”

  “Paprika telephoned me in a dream to ask for help.”

  “Really? I did wonder … How you knew she was in danger … Coming so suddenly like that.”

  “Well … That’s how I knew.”

  Their conversation broke off.

  In no time at all, Noda’s head was starting to drop. Hello – I’m feeling sleepy now … Konakawa thought as his awareness grew increasingly opaque. A telephone call from a dream? He found that notion perfectly acceptable, proof indeed that he was slipping into the realm of dreams. If possible, he wanted to maintain the proper attitude of a police officer, even in his dream. Was he really capable of that?

  They were in the living room of a small house that looked new. The living room was one of only two downstairs rooms. Ah. It’s the house where I was born, when my parents were still young. Paprika started looking for her parents. They weren’t there. The front door had been left open. It was dark outside. What if some bad person were to come in? It was a memory of her parents and their frequent absences, when she would have to look after the house again. There! Someone’s got in! But it wasn’t that scary man who always came peddling his wares, always aggressively, sometimes to the point of violence. No. This time it was a woman. She wore a flimsy yellow dress and her hair was all over the place.

  “Hey, you! Think you’re good-looking, don’t you!” the woman shouted at the child Paprika. The woman stood with legs astride in the hallway. It was Nobue Kakimoto with her hair turned reddish-brown, eyes slanting upward. “And I suppose you think you’re clever, too. Well, you’ve no need to act so arrogant. In fact you’re not clever at all. All you’ve done is learnt things from books, because you think men won’t take you seriously if you’re good-looking but stupid. You’re only being stubborn, just to save face as a good-looking woman. But hey, it’s not fashionable anymore! It’s the age of feminism, you don’t have to be good-looking! And you know, you really are quite stupid. You want proof? You deliberately side with that gargoyle Tokita, as if to say that other men are inferior and they’re not good enough for you, but then you go and fall in love with him and in the end you can’t tell the difference between good and evil …”

  Stop it! Please stop it! the child Paprika wanted to wail. But the words wouldn’t come out. Of course they wouldn’t. Because this memory of Nobue, who continued to hurl abuse at her, may actually have been a “shadow” of Atsuko Chiba. She was, in a way, hurling abuse at herself.

  “Stop that!” shouted her father as he came in from outside. “You’re a bad maid! Came after seeing the direct mail, did you?!”

  No. It wasn’t her father.

  “Tatsuo!” Paprika gasped through her sobs.

  “Goodness!” As Noda entered, Nobue momentarily changed into Paprika’s mother when she was younger, flashed a coquettish glance at him, then disappeared into the understairs cupboard.

  “Paprika! I’ve come to wake you up!”

  “Tatsuo. Will you have some tea?” Paprika stood and started to go to the kitchen. Having been asleep so long, she didn’t really understand what Noda meant.

  “
Paprika! Paprika! You called me!” Noda said impatiently as he grabbed her arm.

  She could smell Noda’s fragrance. That’s right. I must wake up. “Ah. You’re sleeping right next to me, aren’t you.”

  “I’m sleeping in front of the monitor. You’re on the bed. What should we do? Should I press one of the keys? I don’t know if I can. But if you tell me how, I’ll try and wave my arms about.”

  “There is no such key,” said Paprika, shaking her head. “We’ll have to find some other way.”

  It was the middle of the day. They were walking arm in arm along a road in a residential area, toward a main road that ran alongside a railway line. A dog was sprawled lazily at the side of the road. A big dog with rough black hair.

  Ah. That’s the one that always tries to bite me in my dreams. Paprika transmitted her fear to Noda, clinging tightly to his arm.

  The dog slowly got to its feet.

  “It’s not that Osanai, is it? Or Inui?”

  “I don’t think so. What time is it now?”

  “Just coming up to noon.”

  “Have I been asleep all that time?!” Paprika said in a tone of lament. Her thoughts were conveyed to Noda, who was using the same PT circuit. Oh no. I’m just going to stay like this forever, never waking up. My brain is just going to vegetate.

  No it isn’t, thought Noda, turning to Paprika to deny her fears.

  “If that’s the time, those two won’t be disturbing us,” said Paprika. Of course. They’ll be in the Institute.

  Are you sure? I think they can access the dream from anywhere they like, as long as there are PT devices. “After all, isn’t this dog …” thinking vile things like it wants to rape you?

  “So it is.” We don’t need DC Minis to access your dreams anymore. That sounded like Inui.

  The dog came running toward Paprika.

  “Stop! Or you’re under arrest!”

  Toshimi Konakawa, dressed immaculately in police uniform, appeared like a puff of smoke from the middle of a stone wall. He roared at the dog as he materialized.

  Yes, the dog was Osanai. He looked stunned. A p-p-policeman as I thought as I thought what’s what’s going on with a DC Mini that officer I met in the lift interfering police interfering this woman in her dream damn it! …

  The dog suddenly vanished, as if someone had switched off a monitor. They now seemed able to access Paprika’s dreams at will, without wearing the DC Mini, just by monitoring her dreams on PT devices.

  “The vile brute has disappeared, leaving only your spirits behind. I can see that clearly. Will you know who they are, whoever they come as?” Konakawa had just fallen asleep and accessed Paprika’s dream. Paprika and Noda could also read his thoughts. The meaning of words, so unclear in a dream, became crystal clear with the direct transmission of thoughts.

  They’d turned onto the main road, but could still see no way of escaping to reality. Paprika was hunting around a railway station. She couldn’t be sure whether it was crowded with people or not. No clues could be seen. Then with tears of laughter Atsuko pointed to a large rectangular clock resembling a monitor screen, hanging from the front of the station building. Osanai’s face appeared on the clock.

  “Look! There he is! He’s still monitoring us!”

  Konakawa glared at the clock and thrust a finger toward its face. Osanai looked startled and disappeared. The clock went back to its normal face.

  There was a red advertising tower in the middle of the station plaza. Paprika looked at a number of posters that were pasted on it, desperately seeking a way of waking up.

  SECTIONALISM IS MATERNITY

  NOW ON SALE – ENCYCLOPEDIA OF RAGE – ENCYCLOPEDIA OF ENCYCLOPEDIAS

  A TASTE OF SADNESS – PATHOS CHOUX CRÈME MADE SIMPLY ON THE RADIATOR

  “If it bothers you,” said Noda, “there’s a door over there.” Shall we open it?

  I will. Konakawa opened the rusty iron door and peered inside the advertising tower. It was empty.

  “It’s empty,” said Konakawa. “No, not in that sense,” he added hurriedly, knowing that Paprika would think it referred to herself. The advertising tower is not you.

  They went inside the station building. It was the lobby of a hotel where Atsuko often stayed to complete research papers. They could see the front desk. Several guests were milling about there. A number of porters stood motionless like broom handles. Paprika remembered how Inui and Osanai had tried to rape her from both sides in the hotel room. Did that really happen, or was it just a dream?

  It was just a dream, of course, Noda and Konakawa replied as one.

  Ah. Wait a minute. I’m about to remember something. I think I’m about to remember something. Paprika stopped in her tracks. She looked at a sofa in the corner of the lobby.

  All right, let’s go to the sofa. Noda started walking toward it, as if to encourage Paprika. Shall we take a rest there?

  Who takes a rest in a dream?! Ah. That’s right. Something flashed across Paprika’s mind. But rather than explaining the reason, she quickly told them what must be done.

  “Tatsuo. Please rape me, over there.” On the sofa. With all the guests and porters looking on.

  Noda and Konakawa were speechless. But Paprika’s thoughts had assumed a kind of logic. She convinced them of it, at least in logical terms.

  Dreason – dream reason. Having sex in a dream stimulates feelings of guilt, causing the dreamer to wake. And having sex in a public place like this should wake us even more quickly, from the sheer embarrassment of it.

  “It’s too absurd.” You can’t do a thing like that. Impossible.

  Noda laughed at Konakawa’s caution. Of course it’s absurd. It’s a dream! Lighten up! Noda now saw the truth – Paprika and Konakawa had made love in a dream during his treatment. Well, then. You’ve already had your turn. You hid it from me! Look, you’re both going red!

  It wasn’t like that. It was for treatment.

  That’s right. It was for treatment.

  But Noda wasn’t fooled. Paprika and Konakawa had made love in his dream because they loved each other.

  Even so, Noda doubted whether he could really do it right now. See? Even thinking about sex with Paprika is threatening to wake me up.

  “Don’t wake up!” Paprika cried. “You mustn’t! Please! Rape me, here and now!” Or if you feel bad about raping me, it doesn’t have to be like that. Please make love to me! Tatsuo. I love you! I loved you long before I loved Toshimi!

  12

  “You do? Even if I ***** you in a place like this?” Noda looked around him. “Well, it’s a dream and it probably won’t matter anyway … But what will you do if Inui and Osanai start ***** and interfering? Even during the day, they sometimes ***** you with their PT equipment.”

  “In that case I’ll stand guard,” Konakawa said decisively. If I see so much as a shadow of those two, I’ll threaten them, make them switch off.

  Forgive me, Toshimi. Noda knew all about Konakawa’s burning desire for Paprika; he felt sincerely sorry. Paprika likewise. Please forgive us. Right in front of you like this. Especially when we’ve ***** once before.

  Hey, come on. It’s OK. We sleep together, we share the same dreams, we feel everything as one. Our thoughts, emotions, sensations. Our ***. Don’t worry. I’m sure to feel your *** too.

  It was no longer a hotel lobby, but a tatami-floored room with no furniture. It’s the room we used for sewing classes in my old high school. A boy called ***** attacked me here after school one day. I often dream about it, thought Paprika. Konakawa opened the door and went out into the corridor. There, he stood guard outside the sewing classroom, where a highly inappropriate after-school activity was getting underway. Paprika lay on the floor and embraced Noda from below. The heat that lingered over the tatami mats was the moist warmth of suppressed adolescence. A grove of trees blocked the window. Now you know why I’m trying to look as cheap as possible. So thought Paprika. Yes. As shameful as possible. They were already naked. Foreplay. Paprik
a deliberately raised her voice in a wholly unbecoming way. She felt ashamed of that in front of Noda and Konakawa. This isn’t the real me.

  It’s all right. I understand. That’s why I’m feeling … so aroused.

  Honestly, I’m not really … this cheap. I’m only doing it to make you … more excited.

  I know. I am already. I’m excited. Suddenly, thrusting more rapidly in straight lines. Rising passion. Ah. Paprika. I can’t, hold it back, anymore. I can’t, hold it, back. Noda moaned in distress and ejaculated. The three awoke more or less simultaneously, Konakawa last of all.

  Atsuko must have shouted something in her sleep. She sat bolt upright in bed, under the astonished gaze of Morita and Ube. They’d already removed the DC Minis from Noda and Konakawa.

  “Oh dear,” said Atsuko, blushing to think that her behavior in the dream might have been visible on the monitor.

  “Ah. Excellent!” exclaimed Ube. “You all woke up together.”

  Morita too displayed nothing but relief that the three had all woken safely. “How did you manage it?”

  Morita and Ube had no idea what sort of dream they’d had, since all three of their viewpoints had been jumbled up together on the screen. Atsuko was mightily relieved to know that. Noda did his best to maintain his dignity in front of the officers; there was nothing in his demeanor to suggest he’d woken by climaxing just a few seconds earlier. If anything, it was Konakawa who was unable to look his subordinates in the face. He himself had reached a considerable state of excitement, and this appeared to have woken him.

  “Well, let’s just say it was an emergency measure,” said Noda with a laugh, meaning a measure you could barely dream of. “It’s nothing we could explain really. Better not to ask.”

  “Actually, there were several calls from the Institute while you were asleep,” Morita started, keen to get a worrying subject off his chest. “Apparently Mr. Himuro’s parents have come looking for him, being concerned over his whereabouts. And Miss Kakimoto’s family are coming to Tokyo for the same reason. Doctor Osanai had to invite them to the hospital, since he’s in charge of her case and he could hardly just ignore them. But Himuro’s parents were told to meet Doctor Tokita and talk to him about it. Himuro’s mother has called here twice already. What would you advise?”