In the Time of the Caveman

by Samantha Leal

  “I don’t mean to be blunt, but are you sure that there aren’t plenty of women on your own world that would gladly take your seed?” He got this faraway look in his eyes and let out a sigh of exasperation mixed with sadness as he put his hands on the railing.

  It looked like I had touched a nerve. I certainly didn’t mean to pick at what seemed to be a sore point, but I thought I had a point. I mean, they were hot. Whatever, I thought, why did I care? I just needed to know what the hell was going on and how I was going to get back home.

  “We don’t have any women. They all died from an epidemic which hit our people years ago. It only affected our females. They were wiped out. The last of those who survived just succumbed. The disease destroyed them at the genetic level. Only a few of our own woman could even provide us with usable genes. We need a fresh infusion of genes. As we have said, we have searched the galaxy for a suitable match. You’d think that it would be easy, but our chemistry is not compatible with a normal egg. We had to look for just the right match. Your planet was seeded long ago by a mix of races from across the galaxy, and actually universe. Some of those who seeded your world are common ancestors of our own forefathers. As a result we knew, statistically speaking, that there would be some on your world with whom we would find compatibility for these purposes. You may look like everyone else in your race, but you are one in a billion, I assure you.” After that bit of information, he went on to tell me that their way of procreation resembled more a science project than what we would call love making. In fact it all took place in a laboratory. Looking at him again, I thought, what a shame.

  “I would think that the best way to make babies would be to just do it the old fashioned way. It would be easier and a whole lot more fun, I can assure you, “ I said, emphasizing the last syllables. He looked at me like I was talking in tongues and so I figured there must be a part of this equation I was missing.

  “Kiley, I’m sorry, but you’ve got me at a loss. This is the way it has always been with my people. What exactly are you suggesting?” It was becoming apparent that I was going to have to teach him about the birds and the bees unless I wanted them sticking a bunch of needles and metal tubes into me instead. They obviously had the equipment, I could see by the bulge in his orderly pants. “Each generation is given a certain amount of eggs from a female donor and then those eggs are transplanted into what we call a Laken. They’re watched closely for any kind of imperfections and then, assuming they are viable and healthy, those babies grow up under strict supervision. We are also able to accelerate the process in times of need. In our current situation we hope to produce a new generation of females within a few years, as you know them.” I soon learned that a Laken was a cylinder filled with the necessary fluids their offspring would need to develop. It was essentially a woman’s womb, but entirely man made. I guess they could mass produce babies in that way with no females around to do it for them, but I still thought you should at least know how to do it the old fashioned way. It did occur to me that one woman could only make one baby at a time, but still I thought it worth explaining to them. Maybe I could convince them to bring it back into fashion once they had women back amongst them.

  “I believe that I have a lot to teach you, Nathan. I’m not sure that I can really convey the entire thing without giving you some kind of firsthand experience.” I couldn’t believe that I was even thinking about such a thing, but it wasn’t like I didn’t have this uncharacteristic and unstoppable lust just yearning to be expressed. Maybe it was the DNA connection or something, but I was ready to tear my clothes off and get some right then and there. They just really seemed to do it for me on whatever planet this was.Vguely I also imagined this odd hormonal reaction probably had something to do with why I was taking this whole E.T. experience in stride. “It’s called sex and if you don’t know what it is, then you have no idea what you’re missing. I am more than happy to volunteer my DNA and an egg if it will benefit your people as much as you say, but I don’t think that’s the only answer you are looking for. Honestly the idea of a world with no sex kind of freaked me out.

  I’m sorry, but I have no idea what you’re talking about Kiley. What we do may not be what you consider to be normal, but this is how it has always been done here on our world. Perhaps the reason you are having trouble understanding this is because we have not revealed our energetic form to you. You are now only seeing our more ancient form. Although it still serves us in many ways, it has become all but vestigial in others. Your idea of “sex” is one of those things that my people cast aside long ago. It is true that there are some disadvantages in utilizing the Laken. For some reason we lose a high percentage of our offspring in the process. It should not happen but it does. Our scientists have theorized that there is an intangible aspect to their growth and successful development that cannot be replicated outside of an actual body. Anyway, we always lose half of our prodigy from the transplantation and we do wish that there was another way. If we could somehow merge with those eggs more successfully without damaging them, it would be ideal. Certainly it is worth investigating.” Still, I was unsure if he was prepared for what I was about to lay on him. I was not sure it was possible to be so clueless, and yet here we were on Planet Clueless. I wasn’t sure how he was going to take the little birds and bees talk I was about to lay on him, but I was unbelievably horny and one of these alien hunks was going to give it to me one way or another.

  Chapter three

  “I don’t know what to say except that what you describe sounds truly disgusting. I can’t even imagine something like that and why would any person put themselves through it in the first place?” I’d just gone over the basics of sex. I hadn’t even gone into anything kinky. “My god, but it must be so painful for a woman to be impaled like that. I mean, taking in another’s flesh at her very center! I don’t even want to think about it.” The way he was describing it was actually getting me pretty hot.

  “I think that you would agree that it would be easier if it were done that way though. You wouldn’t have to worry about damaging the eggs or having a degradation of the seed in the laboratory. And it can actually be quite pleasurable for both male and female, despite your fears to the contrary. And besides, ‘don’t knock it ‘til your try it’ I always say.” Man, for an advances species, they sure were dumb.

  I still didn’t wanna be here, but until I figured out a way to get back to earth, I figured I might as well make the most of it. And right now, making the most out of it felt pretty indistinguishable from getting laid. The thought then occurred to me that maybe this was all just one of those lucid dreams. It was a pretty kinky dream if that was the case. I sure had some imagination. Well, all the more reason to bring it back around to sex. How many times had I had dreams where I was too shy, or afraid or had one hang up or another? If this was a dream, then I was gonna make it a good one.

  He looked up and then walked back over to the door. “I’m going to have to discuss this with the Elders. I don’t know what they’re going to say about something so radical, but it is my duty to report all findings, so I shall do just that. It is possible that in our evolution we have forget some things that may actually be of use to us at this stage. Perhaps we need to devolve in order to evolve again.” I was not sure what he was talking about, but figured he was saying he wanted to try bonking.

  In the end it was me who he wanted to report to the “Elders”. They were about as skeptical as he had been, but decided in the end, as he had, to give it a shot, so to speak. They were pretty desperate, and since they could always do it their way later, they figured that there was no harm in trying, no matter how bizarre the whole thing sounded to them. And as far as the “Elders” thing, they did look a little older than Nathan, but hardly like the old wizened image we would have of elders. I surmised that their true age didn’t really come through in this physical form.

  The one that happened to look most like an older version of Nathan stood up as he addressed me.” Since you
brought this to our attention, Kiley, we would like to give you the option of picking the man with whom you wish to conduct this demonstration.”

  “Um…demonstration?”, was all I could say.

  “Yes, who do you pick to do this thing with?” Well, one thing at a time I reasoned. As far as who, my mind was already made up on that front. I had already made quite a connection with Nathan. “You may pick the male and we will also offer you the right to raise this child yourself if the seed takes in your womb. Of course, if it does in fact take, we will remove the new combination so that it may gestate in a Lacken. It’s the only way that we can keep an eye on any degenerative markers and make the necessary adjustments. We have also seen the full-of-baby form of your woman. We had wondered how you had reached that state. It appears most cumbersome and inconvenient. The Lacken will remove that inconvenience.” Man, someone should invent poetry for these guys, I thought, because they sure had a way of making the beautiful sound ugly.

  “Well, I pick Nathan, as he calls himself with me,” I said, as I pointed to him. “But I have no intention of getting…” Even as I spoke the Elders were sitting up in their chairs in unison, almost as if they needed to vie for position to get a look.

  “Whoa,” I said to throw some water on their collective curiosity. “I’m not about to take off my clothes and just do it in front of the whole room.” The truth was actually that I was about ready to do just that, but I was holding onto my last shreds of inhibitions. They were fading fast though as the “I’ll-fuck-anybody-tocin” running through my veins, was almost completely in control now. What I said, however, was “I’m going to need some privacy, or the deal is off. If you want my cooperation at all, then you will follow my wishes to the letter.” They seemed to honestly be concerned for my feelings and welfare and soon I got nods of approval that told me that they were willing to work within my rules. “I’m glad that you understand. I will take Nathan back to the room that I was in and we’ll just see what happens.” By this time I had seen several men that were making my loins ache and it was all I could do not to jump on any one of them, or even just on all of them at once. It had to have been that their particular DNA was triggering some primal mating instincts, I theorized. Either that or I should have called this place Planet Lust, as opposed to Planet Clueless. It was hard to say which name would win out.

  It could have also been some pheromones that were making them irresistible to me. They probably didn’t even know that they were doing it. That was similar to my DNA theory, but different, really. It could have been a side effect to having a human in their midst. Whatever was going on, the result was that I wanted to fuck like I had never wanted to fuck before.

  “We are having a bit of confusion as to why you feel you would need privacy, but we have seen that it is something your people seem to value. You do realize that you would be doing the exact same things whether you were in front of us or alone, right?”, they asked me. “You would also be feeling the same things as well as saying the same things. Everything would be the same, would it not? So, you can see why are having trouble understanding the need for ‘privacy’ as you call it. Although we are a bit perplexed as to this need to be alone, we will grant it, as it seems to be important to you. It is abundantly clear that as a society we do not see things as you do. What one does amongst us, we all do. Still, as I have said, we will, of course, honor your wishes.”

  “Sir, don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that you are an open society and that you are comfortable with this one for all and all for one thing you’ve got going on, but this is just something that needs to be between me and Nathan. If after we are done, he wants to tell you all about it in vivid detail, then I really can’t stop him. I’m not saying that there aren’t women on my planet that aren’t into the whole exhibitionism thing, but I am not one of them. On earth we all have our own viewpoints and make our own decisions based on how we were raised, you know.” They saw my lips moving but somehow weren’t catching the words. I was losing the hormone battle too, but was still hanging in there.

  “I’ll be blunt Kiley. We think your planet is pretty fucked up.” Oh, I thought. I didn’t think Elders spoke like that. We just don’t get all the fighting. And then there are all the beliefs systems and everyone saying ‘no, no MY beliefs are right’, Really? Your peoples still seem to each subscribe to their own versions of the truth, each believing that theirs is the correct one. You all seem to be trapped in your individual perspectives, each believing you are seeing the ‘reality’ of things, when in truth you each only comprehend the slightest sliver of the truth of the oneness of all things. Rather than live in harmony, celebrating the many flavors of experience and contrast, your people seem to gravitate to using those differences as a means of comparison, and even attack, and kill each other as you seek to outdo your brother at every turn. It is all very confusing to us. There are even some of your people that are scrambling to feed themselves while others have so much to eat that they struggle to throw it away properly. And then the governments. Oh my God don’t get us started. But we are willing to set all that aside, because this joining of bodies thing you’ve got going on does intrigue us. We have heard your reasoning and believe there may be merit to what you say. Besides, regardless of our differences, the reality for us is that we must find a way to prolong the existence of our species, and so we are eager to learn this mating ritual you propose.”

  “I guess that from your point of view we’re pretty backwards. I can also see that from your perspective we are not exactly technologically advanced either. I always thought that we were, but looking around this place, I see that we have a lot to learn. I really can’t dispute any of what you have said. I will tell you though that you guys may have solved world hunger and created peace in your time and all that, but you are still missing out with the ‘no sex’ thing you guys have going on here.”

  “Perhaps you are right. We shall see. As you have been explaining your perspective we have been taking it all in, as you would say. We’ve decided that since you will be sharing with us your method of procreation in human form, we will show you how we are evolving towards a means of energetic procreation. If we can survive and continue to evolve our scientist postulate that eventually we will be able procreate in this way alone. For now however we still depend on physical form to propagate the species. We realize that you can’t change into energy, but in our experiments we have had some success creating a physical to non-physical connection.”

  I guess I could have said no, but by now I was beyond turned on with all the talk of sex and these crazy hormone levels pumping through my body I was quite curious to explore whatever they had in mind. “I would be into that,” was the phrase that finally left my lips.

  With that acquiescence, they transformed themselves into their energetic forms and were soon all around me. I could sense them all already poking and prodding in a tentative way. It was sort of the way one might check the tire pressure on a soccer ball before a big game. They were almost caressing me energetically as they sought to feel into my feelings. “That feels nice,” I chirped.

  As I had become attuned to them as well I could see them bow as colored fields of energy that almost danced as they hung in the air. Even Nathan had changed into his higher energy state and was now reaching out to me with an electric blue colored energetic tendril. My body arched as I felt a wave of sexual euphoria as he made contact with only my arm.

  The tendrils then bifurcated again and again until it seemed like there were a thousand tiny fingers of blue energy touching me all over. They were gently exploring my every pore, it felt like. At first they probed gently at the edges, so to speak. They were feeling their way into my energy, becoming synced to my vibration. Two of those fingers gravitated towards my breasts and began to titillate my nipples right through the thin black fabric of the dress I still wore. As I watched, mesmerized, the tendrils all moved down to grab the bottom hem of the sheer black fabric in one hundred places at once as they
pulled it up past my hips and then over my head. Allowing the dress to fall to the floor, the thin wisps of energy then pulled my panties down my legs, even as my bra was unclasped. As the bra popped off, my full breasts were revealed to the open air. As I was revealed in all my naked glory, the blue hue changed to red and then yellow. As the color shifted I felt slightly different states of pleasure. It was like an overall body warmth or heating up almost as my very being seemed to pulse with the changes. It wasn’t foreplay exactly. I mean, nothing was happening, at least not that I could see, but it felt like foreplay nonetheless. I looked down and saw that my nipples were now being pulled away from my body even as I felt a wave of pleasure between my legs. I instinctively knew that Nathan was among those exploring my mound.