Fantasy Attraction (Hidden Secrets)

by Belden, P. J.

  “Hide in my closet or under my bed and try to stay away from her at all costs.”

  He nodded, kissed my cheek and left the house. I hated him for leaving me, but loved him for everything he has done for me. He has saved me only to be hurt himself.

  I turned around, ran to the kitchen, grabbed some food and ran to my room. In my closet was a little hidden wall that kept me from view of the trouble that would be walking through the door soon. I had some toys in here and a pillow and blanket with a battery lamp. It was small and cramped, but it was better than being in my room exposed.

  Ten minutes later, I hear my name being called. I ignore it. I just want to be left alone tonight.

  “Colleen Shay Austin! Get your fucking ass down here now!”

  When I heard my full name I knew I needed to go down and face the music. Once I was out of my room, there were about fourteen steps to reach the hall downstairs. There were about twelve more steps to reach the sitting room and ten more to reach the bar where I would meet my nightmare. I have counted these steps time and time again. Each time, each step was harder and harder to take.

  I swallowed hard. “Yes, mother.” I whispered.

  SMACK!

  “How many times have I told you NOT to call me that?”

  I held my cheek as tears welled up in my eyes. “Harriet.” I said softly. I felt like I was doing something wrong every time I called her by her name and not mom. All the kids at school made fun of me because of it.

  She poured herself another drink in a small glass and drank it all in one gulp. I never understood why she didn’t just use a bigger glass so she could get more than one drink out of it. She smiled at me then. I knew then what was coming. Turning my head, I saw the guy in the corner on the couch. I gave him a disgusted look.

  SMACK!

  “Don’t look at Danny that way.” She smiled over at him and he moved over to my mother.

  Normally the guy starts to kiss my mom and they get busy and I’m usually left alone until the guy leaves. This wasn’t normal times. This was not normal times. He walked to my mom and kissed her then turned to me and reached for me. I did the only thing I could do. I head-butted him in the spot I saw mom hit my daddy all the time. He screamed in pain. My mom backhanded me hard. I fell backward into a stool at the bar.

  “What the hell do you think you are doing?” Harriet screamed.

  “He tried to…”

  I didn’t get a chance to finish before she hit me again. I lay on the floor just staring up at her tears falling from my eyes fast. Each and every time she hit me, I was still surprised. My surprise at her, hitting me was like hitting my punching bop bag and being shocked when it popped back up; yet here I was still shocked that I lay here on the floor from her beating.

  She kicked me a couple of times before the guy grabbed her and kissed her again. Gagging, I ran from the room and up to my room. Their noises filled the house. I didn’t know what they were doing, but mom screamed a lot and the guy made a lot of grunting noises. Maybe he was beating her like she beats me? The thought made me smile.

  I was curled up on my bed when my door opened and my mom walked in again. Even though, I tried to tell myself that it was over and I’d be left alone the rest of the night, I knew in my heart that that would never be the case.

  Without a word, she walked to my bed and punched me in the face. I screamed.

  “Colleen?” Kayla said, breaking into my past torments.

  “Sorry, what were you saying?” My heart still pounding from reliving those moments.

  We talked back and forth about what we could do and how to get the ball rolling. To my surprise, Kayla was actually eager to do this. I knew some of her story from what was said during her trial and she filled in the rest when I asked. It wasn’t meant to be nosey I wondered about it and then said the words before I thought about what I was saying.

  We returned back to the fundraiser and both went about our tasks. I was pretty busy the rest of the night. By nine, everything was cleaned up and I was walking in the door to my apartment. I got into the shower and let the water rain down on my face and let the residue of the flashback to my younger years wash away.

  I was just walking in my room when my business phone started ringing. Hurrying over, I throw on my headset and answer in my usual sultry tone the same welcoming speech that I have been using for years.

  In the years of running this, I have run across all types. Now, I am never one to judge anyone because let’s face it; people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, but there are some real nut jobs out there. It is the reason I have a different line and the line addressed to a warehouse space I own. I was careful. There was a need to be. Last year, I had some psycho staking out the warehouse because he thought we were really together and shared all the fantasies that were acted out in the conversations.

  The night was about over when my last call of the night came in. I was ready for the night to end. The fundraiser was exhausting. Everyone in town came. I think it was because of the Williams clan being there, but no matter what the reason the fundraiser did amazingly well and there was still another two days to go. I yawned before I could stop myself.

  “Hello Angel, are you tired?”

  My body immediately heated and my heart sped up just from the sound of his voice.

  “Hello. I definitely didn’t expect to hear from you again so soon.” I cringed realizing how that sounded. “I’m sorry, that’s not how I meant that to sound,” I sighed. “Yes, I am very tired.”

  For the first time in my life I was flustered. A guy has finally made me flustered. Then the most amazing sound came through the phone and took me back to the fundraiser.

  “Oh my God, it was you.” I whispered.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  ~CARSON~

  After several minutes of pacing back and forth, I finally picked up the phone and called her. It wasn’t that I needed a release, but more that I was interested in her. She brought out a reaction in me that no one ever has before. Just the sound of her voice had my dick standing at attention.

  When I talked to her, I found myself relaxing and laughing. Relaxing was something I never did. It was impossible for me to do. Before it was my fighting that was my therapy, but now that all things with Kayla have come to a head, it was hard to find relaxation even during workouts.

  “Oh my God, it was you.” She whispered.

  She sounded genuinely shocked and I was unsure of why.

  “What was me?”

  “Your-your laugh…I heard it today. At least I think I did. Never mind it isn’t important. What fantasy can I fill for you today?”

  As much as I wanted to play out another almost too real fantasy with her, I wanted to get to know her too. For one reason or another I couldn’t get her out of my head. It had to be because she was such a mystery. When there were things you couldn’t explain or remember, it bothered you until you did. That had to be the case here.

  “Actually, I just thought we could talk?”

  “Uh, what? You do realize that this call will cost you, right? And you want to pay to get to know me? I wouldn’t feel right.”

  “I would really like to get to know you some. It actually is a fantasy of mine. Get to know the woman that has changed my world and I have never met her.”

  “Please, baby. Let me make another fantasy come true. We just…I can’t tell you anything. It isn’t safe for me to do that. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.” She said firmly, but I could hear a hint of fear in her voice.

  Just that tone had me on edge for some reason. I couldn’t explain it, but it was a feeling that came over me; like I needed to protect her or something. Shaking the thoughts from my head, I walked over to my bed and lay down with a groan.

  “Tell me Angel, what is your fantasy?”

  There was nothing on the line for a while; I was beginning to think that she had hung up. My body soon felt the vibrations of her sultry voice flowing through it like a flood over lower
grounds. I could feel myself hardening. It didn’t matter what she said, it was her voice.

  “Look, this isn’t the way things work. I grant fantasies not have them granted.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because that is not what this line is for.” She stated flatly.

  She no longer purred into the phone, but her voice still was amazing. She wasn’t mad, but I could tell that I was on a topic that she was obviously not comfortable talking about. Even though I knew this, I couldn’t let it go. A sudden thought occurred to me.

  “You aren’t seeing anyone, are you?”

  “What?! No!” She snapped quickly.

  I hadn’t realized I was holding my breath until after her answer. What the hell was it about this girl?

  “You say that like dating is a bad thing.” I try to tease.

  “I don’t believe in it. It may be for others, but it definitely is not meant for me.” She mumbles.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Look, its closing up time for me. It was lovely chatting with you, but I need to go.”

  “No, wait!” I sit up fast.

  She sighs, “What?”

  “Listen, if you are done, then why can’t you talk to me for a little bit. Please.”

  I held the phone away from my ear, staring at it in shock. In a million years I couldn’t believe that I, Carson-Kickboxing Champion-Williams, was begging a woman to talk to me.

  What the hell am I doing?

  There was something about this woman that had me doing things I have never done before. No matter, the words were said and I truly was interested in who she was.

  “Well, I…uh, you…damn,” she ended in a whisper.

  Before I could stop it a chuckle slipped out. It felt good to laugh. Everyone around me walked on pins and needles waiting for me to explode. I will be the first to admit that ever since Kayla came forward about what has happened to her for so long, I have been a bit of a short fuse. I blame myself and I think I always will, no matter if I get myself under control or not.

  “Fine you win. I will give you ten questions. Then we call this little game of yours okay?”

  Game? Why would she think I was playing a game?

  “First, there is no game. And I will take your deal, but you have to ask me ten in return. Deal?”

  I could hear her sigh, but she agreed to it. Now I’m up for ten questions. Time to kill my curiosity.

  “What is your real name, Angel?”

  “Sorry won’t give you that. I won’t count that as one of your ten.” She answered quickly.

  Shit! Somehow I knew it wasn’t going to be that easy.

  “Okay, fine. I understand. How about three things you hate about yourself?”

  “Everything. Sorry to disappoint you. Next.”

  “How could you hate yourself? I mean I have only just met you, but even I can tell there are great qualities.”

  “How? How can you possibly tell that when the first time we talked was when I created a fantasy world for you?”

  “You may have created it, but you were in it with me. It wasn’t just me there. I can tell that you genuinely care about people. It was in the way you talked to me when I called in a complete newbie. And either you are a really awesome faker or you were right in that fantasy with me.”

  “So is that what this is about? Sex? Well, let me tell you…”

  She was getting mad at me and I couldn’t place why. I was not trying to use her or whatever else she may be thinking. I was trying to get to know her and see if there wasn’t something between us even if it was merely gaining a friend to talk to.

  Wow! I sound like such a pussy!

  “Hey, wait a minute. Why are you getting so mad at me?”

  “Because I know what you are after and I’m not that kind of woman!”

  She was breathing heavy and I realized that in a matter of seconds this conversation has gotten way out of control.

  “Hey, calm down. Angel, I am only trying to get to know you. I’m not expecting anything or have a hidden agenda. Honestly, I like talking to you. You calm me and simmer my anger when I talk to you.”

  It seems that no matter what I say to her right now she is going to take it wrong and blow it out of proportion. So I will give her the truth and lay it out there. It doesn’t matter if she is going to hang up on me anyway, so I just said my piece and readied for the hang up.

  “Really?” She breathed.

  I could hear movement in the background and I could only assume she was getting comfortable. If she was that meant she wasn’t hanging up anytime soon. This brought a smile to my face.

  “Really. I can’t explain it, but from the minute we started talking, I was able to calm my anger and irritation at the world and the people in it. No, it didn’t have to do with the phone sex either.” I joked.

  “What has you so worked up that you need to calmed?”

  “Is this part of your ten questions?” I teased.

  “You could say that.”

  “I recently found out that someone very near and dear to me was hurt and badly. It was/is my fault it happened in the first place. I caused it, then didn’t stop it, and wasn’t there to help finish it. So all in all, I let her down and it kills me. My way of dealing with it is anger and in my profession that makes me a liability. So yeah…”

  “Wow… I don’t know you that well, but it sounds like you really care for this person. I am sure that she knows that. Have you told her you love her?” She ended sounding almost disappointed.

  “Of course. She’s family. Family is always first for me.”

  “Oh, I thought it was a…”

  “I am not dating, seeing, otherwise taken by anyone if that is what you are thinking. I may be a man and we may not have actually done anything, but to me that would have been cheating if I was involved. I’m not that kind of guy.”

  “Yeah, I can tell that.”

  “What you do you do for fun?” I said to change the subject. We were getting too close to revealing who I was and I wanted to see if she could like me for me and not my status.

  “Fun? Hmm, not sure what that would be.” She laughed.

  “Okay then what do you do to clear your head…relax?”

  “I like to run and I took some karate classes once. I enjoyed that, but one day I want to have the time to learn kick boxing. I hear that is a great way to relax. How about you?”

  I froze at her words. Did she know who I was? Deciding to play it cool, I decided to play dumb for a moment.

  “How about me, what?”

  “What do you do for fun?”

  “Oh, I’m with you on not knowing what that is. Though to clear my head or relax, I work out,” testing the waters here, “kick box, swim or run.”

  “Wow! You know how to kick box? I want to learn so bad. You’re so lucky.”

  Nope, she hadn’t a clue. Or she was just really good at faking it…

  “Do you have any family?”

  “Nope, next question please.”

  “Sorry if I struck a chord. I didn’t realize.”

  “It’s okay, you didn’t know. I just don’t like talking about it. Do you have family?”

  “I do. I have a rather big family. My mom and dad are the greatest. I hope one day that I can be half the husband and father to my wife and kids as my father was with us. My brothers and sisters are great. We fight, but nothing that we don’t get over in a few seconds. No matter what we have always had each other’s backs.”

  “Your family sounds wonderful. So you want to get married and have a family?”

  “Definitely! I’m just waiting for the right girl to come along that I can’t get off my mind and then…” I trailed off at the realization that it could be very possible that my “Angel” could be the one I’ve been searching for.

  No, it is only the mystery behind her. That was has me intrigued. She doesn’t know me and I don’t know her.

  Shaking my head, her words begin to register.
r />   “…great that you want that and I’m sure you will find it. You seem like a great guy. I, however, just want to do my good deeds and be left alone.”

  “You don’t want a family?”

  “No. Listen my past has molded me and you lead by example…Well, my family was far from the ideal family you seemed to have lived in. I know what feelings really cause and I’m not looking to experience any of that. Guys aren’t the only ones that can live with mindless fucks when the need arises.”

  She has literally just stunned me. There is nothing I can say to that. I have no clue what happened to her to have her view life this way, but my life is far from perfect as she thinks it is. Yeah, I had very loving parents and was close to my siblings, but I have demons, a past…secrets and I fight them on a daily basis. I have come a long way since then, but it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t rear its ugly head. I am not perfect and I have never claimed to be. Still, I wanted a family.

  “What happened?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I haven’t had the perfect life like you may think, but I still want a family. What happened to you to not want it?”

  “Can we please change subjects? My past is not a place I like to relive…please.” She pleaded.

  “Okay. Okay, Angel. What got you into doing the job you do?”

  She starts laughing and I am immediately lost in the purity of the laugh. The sound is like watching chocolate pour from a chocolate fountain. You just can’t seem to tear your eyes away. It was another sound I would never forget; her voice being the other.

  “Funny story actually. To give you the shortened version, I was in college and my boyfriend at the time went on a Spring Break trip with a group of his friends. Little he paid attention to, but a very good friend of mine went too. We will just say he had a very hard time keeping is dick in his pants that trip. From what I was told he should have just ran around with it hanging out, if that gives you an indication on how much fun he was having. Anyway, my friend tells me, I break up with him. He starts to see someone else. I am out for drinks with friends. One friend tells me I could be a phone sex operator. I get home, not fully drunk. Anyway, I call him and hang up. He calls back and I answer as if I was a phone sex operator. He immediately gets into it. I pick up my other phone call his girlfriend, she hears and runs out to wherever he was…the rest is history.”