Fantasy Attraction (Hidden Secrets)

by Belden, P. J.

  “I’m handling it dad.”

  “You better keep her with you Carson. She’s not safe here.” My mom said still holding Colleen.

  “I’ll be okay Mrs. Williams. She just destroyed my apartment. I’m okay.” She smiled at my mom.

  “Pish, Posh, you call me Jane. You keep saying ‘she’. Do you know who attacked you, dear?” Mom asked.

  My head shot in her direction. In all her confessing, and going back to my house and making love, I had completely forgotten to get the who out of her.

  “Uh, yeah,” she looked at me and dropped her head. “It was Wendi.”

  “Fuck! This is all because of me!”

  “No Carson. This was because of her! You have never led her on or talked to her. This wasn’t your fault.” Colleen said, placing her hands on each side of my face.

  This was why she didn’t want to tell me. This was why she put it off. She was in no hurry to tell me who did it and now I see why. Again, another person was hurt because of me. My heart sank.

  “I’m so sorry Angel. I will protect you. You will never be hurt again as long as I can help it.” I said firmly while resting my head on hers.

  There was a quiet that hovered over the apartment. Everyone was fuming over the news that Colleen just revealed. This chick was nuts! She needed to be in a mental institution.

  “Where do we start?” In true mom fashion, she gets right to the point.

  “Ummm…” Colleen said, looking around.

  “Let’s start out here and work our way back. This way we have a clear path as we are taking shit from the back rooms.” I said resting my hands on her shoulders.

  We all got to work. It was a big job, but with the amount of people here it shouldn’t take us long to finish it. The more we had to carry out of the house the more pissed I got. She really did destroy everything. I was grateful to my family for setting aside time to come here and help right my girl’s home.

  “She really didn’t leave anything alone, did she?” Jason asked standing next to me.

  “No,” I hissed out. “What have you come up with?”

  “Not much right now. She’s not living in the area that we can tell at the moment. No known vehicles registered to her, but we are working. I was thinking about having some of the guys talk to Tommy. Pretend to be her husband or boyfriend see what information we can get that way, but unsure who to use. I’m working on it though.”

  I just nodded and looked at Colleen. I watched my mom walk up to her with something to show her. She smiled sadly at it, but then her face changed. She looked at the item horrified, then ran to the closet not far off.

  I moved over to her and dodged things as she threw them out. She was frantically searching for something, I just didn’t know what. Everyone was watching, wondering the same thing I was.

  “Angel, what are you looking for?”

  “This picture,” she handed me a ripped picture of a guy I’m guessing was her dad. “This picture was in a box with a few other things I hold dear to me. The only things in my past I want to remember. In that box it held…” Her voice trailed off as she gathered something in her hands. “Carson…” She had tears pool in her eyes.

  Kneeling down next to her I took what she held in her hands and I immediately knew what it was. “Oh Angel, I’m so sorry.”

  She burst into tears. Holding her close, I rocked her softly, trying to calm her down. Her whole body shook with each sob. I looked up, feeling the burning in my own eyes. My family was standing watching with saddened faces and my mom and Kayla had tears in their eyes.

  “They were all I had left of her. They were all I had left and she ruined them.” She sobbed.

  “I know baby. I know.” I crooned into her hair trying to comfort her over something that would pain her no matter how much time passed.

  After a few minutes she pulled away and walked into the bathroom. I moved to her kitchen counters with the pieces of the picture in my hand. Asking someone to bring me some tape, I began to try and fit the picture back together the best I can.

  “She has had so much taken from her. I want to give this one thing back to her.”

  “Who is it? Her mother?” My mom asked.

  “No, her mother was abusive at best. She would not treasure a single thing from that damn woman. No there were only two things she held close to her heart from her past. Her father, which is the picture mom showed her and her daughter that I’m trying to salvage now.”

  “She has a daughter?”

  “She was in college. She thought she was with a guy that loved her and she thought she loved him back. Turns out he was sleeping with her mom; her mom set it all up to prove some kind of point. When she caught them in bed together, she left and later found out that she was pregnant. Somehow they found out she was pregnant and beat her almost to death and left her lying in her dorm room. The baby miraculously made it through it. They continued to Hunt her down whenever she went to the doctors or hospital,” I looked at Jack on this. “At seven and a half months she gave birth to her stillborn daughter. The pictures are all she has left of her father and her daughter.”

  It wasn’t a seamless picture, but it was the best I could do. Staring down at this picture, my heart ached. The baby was pale and so tiny. To have had to endure what she did, I can’t even imagine. Right then and there, I made a promise that I would make sure she was happy and never had to hold on to this pain again. Yes, I knew I couldn’t give back what she lost, but I also knew that what my mom said was true. New memories, new moments can help ease the pain of those that haunt her.

  “Son, you can’t let her see the pity in your eyes.” My dad whispered in my ear.

  Looking up at everyone, I could see the sadness and tears of their own. Running my hands over my face, I tried to push away the urge to cry myself. I was feeling her pain. I was feeling her loss, but nowhere close to the emptiness she must be feeling right now. This was a child. If I was that child’s father and I lost her, I would be beyond devastated. My heart hung heavy.

  Clearing my throat, “I’m sorry guys. She’s told me about her past and this moment,” I looked down at that picture again. “This moment had to the hardest moment in her life. The beatings, the running, the fear, being hunted… none of that would come close to having to bury your child. How can I help her?” I looked back up at everyone pleadingly.

  Kayla walked over and hugged me. Jason walked over and squeezed my shoulder. “We can start by getting Wendi off her back so you guys can enjoy yourselves and she won’t be reminded of the past fears because of present actions.” He let go of my shoulder.

  “Let’s get this place cleaned.” Nick states with a clap of his hands and we all dug in.

  For a moment, I didn’t go into the bathroom. She needed some space, but when she hadn’t come out for a bit I went and checked on her. Pausing at the door before knocking softly, I waited for her to answer.

  “Angel?”

  “Come in, Carson.”

  Opening the door, I first noticed that the room was just as destroyed as the rest of the house. When the door opened all the way and she came into view, the only thing I noticed was my girl in tears. Quickly closing the door, I moved to her scooping her up in my arms and setting her on the sink. I stood between her legs and I held her.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I will be. That just hurts. It was all I had left of her.”

  “I taped it back together. Not seamless, but it is viewable.” I said as I kissed her head. Pausing a minute before I said it, “She was beautiful. I think she would have been a spitting image of you.”

  I felt her sob and laugh together into my chest. For a moment, I wondered if I should have kept it to myself. Maybe that would hurt her more.

  She pulled back and stared up at me. The sadness in her eyes killed me. If there was one thing I ever did, it would be replacing that look with one of pure happiness, but I didn’t know how I was going to do that.

  “Why are you so good to
me?”

  “That’s easy, because I love you.”

  “But it has only been two and a half months. You could have any girl you wanted. Why me? Why go for the damaged can when you could have the mint can cheaper?”

  “Angel, you need to realize that your past is not what defines you, at least not to me. It helped mold you yes, but you are you with or without your past. I love you…period.”

  “Gah! I’m not normally this emotional. I’m sorry.”

  “Never apologize for letting go. You have held all this with you for so long that sharing it has brought back the pain again. You are grieving and hurting. There is nothing there to apologize for.”

  Leaning down, I kissed her slowly and tenderly. As I went to pull away, she wrapped her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist and pulled me closer to her. Laughing softly, I pulled back, holding her face in my hands.

  “What are you trying to do? Torture me?”

  “It doesn’t have to be torture. We can take care of it right now” She looked at me through hooded eyes.

  “You know I would love to, but neither of us can be quiet to save our lives.” I laughed.

  “I can be… If I want to be,” she whispered seductively before kissing me.

  “Angel…”

  My sentence fell flat as she began to massage my cock through my jeans. Before I could stop it, a moan escaped and my hips began to rock into her touch.

  “Oh fuck…we need to make this quick and quiet.”

  Her smile was amazing. Crashing my lips to hers, I moved my hands to pull her pants down. Once they were off she worked my pants and shoved them down far enough to be out of the way. I yanked the running bra she was wearing down and then moved the front of my shirt over my head, but not off.

  Colleen leaned back and I took her breast into my mouth as I pushed into her, slowly at first. She was ready for me just as I was for her. Her legs wrapped around me tighter as she met me thrust for thrust.

  “Faster,” she panted in a whisper. “Harder.”

  Grabbing her hips tightly, I pulled her almost off the sink and pushed into her harder and faster. As much as I didn’t want to do this with people in hearing distance it was definitely a turn on at the fact we could get caught. Her quiet moans and sighs were just as sexy as her loud ones.

  “Oh God, Carson I’m close…come with me, baby.” She whispered into my chest as she bit down on one of my nipples.

  I had to kiss her to keep from moaning too loud. She knew exactly what to do to me to drive me completely insane. My thrusts sped up and I slammed into her harder. She bit my other nipple and I flew over the edge. I had to kiss her to keep from making noise as I began one intense orgasm. I could feel each clench from her own orgasm and felt her body shake as she kissed me back to keep her own screams under control.

  When we started to come down, I broke the kiss and rested my head on her shoulder and tried to get my breathing back to normal. Pressing soft kisses to her shoulder, I leaned back and pressed a gentle kiss to her mouth before pulling out of her and we both went about correcting ourselves.

  Reaching for her, I pulled her into my arms and held her for a few moments. A knock sounded on the door as a soft voice spoke shortly after.

  “You guys okay?”

  Colleen turned and opened the door to find Kayla standing at the door. Kayla looked at Colleen with so much sadness that I had to do something to keep this from turning into a cry fest.

  “She’s doing okay. Let’s get this house done so I can take her home, okay?”

  Everyone nodded and we got back out there and worked our asses off for the next three hours. By the time, we had all the trash out it was pretty much empty. Colleen stood in the center of her living room and threw her hands up in the air, before turning to me.

  “How am I ever going to get everything back? Pfft Why even bother?”

  Before I could say anything her phone rang. When she looked at the number, her face paled. Immediately, I’m on guard.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  ~COLLEEN~

  How was this possible? How could they have found me? I could feel my body shake, but for some ungodly reason I answered the phone anyway. Clearing my throat, I kept my head down. I didn’t want to look at anyone and let them see me break as I talked to my past.

  “Hello?” My voice was stronger than I thought it would be.

  “You having fun?”

  “Who is this?”

  “You know damn well who it is!” The voice hissed.

  “No, I don’t or I wouldn’t have asked.” I hissed my lie right back to at them.

  The truth was I knew exactly who it was, even if I hadn’t recognized the number. The voice on the other end has haunted many of my nightmares. My brain never seemed to let me forget it as much as I wanted to. Of course I guess it’s hard to forget the voice of someone that once held your life in their hands and you prayed to either have a quick death or to survive so you could kill them.

  “You’re just as bad of liar now as you were then. Why don’t we skip formalities shall we? I hear you are shacking up with some guy. I also hear that he has money.”

  My eyes immediately rose to Carson’s and I can feel his anger and worry even standing across the room. Once our eyes met, I couldn’t look away, but I could feel my anger and strength, build as if it was being given to me from Carson.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Why don’t you get to the point? I have things to do and none of them include walking down memory lane with you!” I snapped.

  “Well, well, well, someone grew a backbone. You know exactly why I am calling. There is a matter of a debt you have not paid.”

  “I told you then and I will tell you now. That is NOT my debt to pay. You are barking up the wrong tree, if you think you are getting anything out of me.” I hissed.

  “You better be careful little girl. I know who you are and where you came from. I know how to handle your ass.”

  “I wish I would have killed you when I had the chance. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!” I screamed.

  Just as I was hanging up, I hear the sneered comment about regretting it, but I really don’t care at this point. All my life, I spent running from one person or another. It was hard to settle down and make a name for yourself and make friends when you had to pack up and move only months later after arriving. Being here is the longest I have been in one place. For one whole year I have been able to stay here. I thought for sure I had finally out ran them or they realized that I wasn’t responsible for that debt, but I was wrong. Of course it would come at a time when I was finally happy and loved.

  Looking around the room that was now quiet, everyone’s eyes were on me. They were going to want to know what was going on and I couldn’t do it. There was no way I was bringing them down with me. They were too good of people to be brought down by me. I moved to the counter, grabbed my keys and threw them at Carson.

  “Lock up when you leave please,” with that I turned and ran out of the door.

  God, it felt good to have the wind in my hair and the cement at my feet. Honestly, I was ready for bed after all that cleaning, but that phone call had me on edge again. It has been a while since I felt this way. How did they find me after all these years? How am I going to get away from them now? Oh God! I was going to have to leave Carson. My stomach turned and I ran faster. My heart hurt and my body ached. My body had been through a lot this past week and the stress I’ve been through my whole life wasn’t helping me any.

  I rounded the curve and slowed to a stop as I made my way to the sandy spot. Searching for a peace that always came from this place, but sadly it wasn’t found. My mind was still racing and my heart was still hurting. I was going to lose him and why because of something out of my control.

  “Why did they have to find me? Damn it!” I yelled as I punched the ground.

  “Who found you, Angel?”

  Jumping a scream escaped as I tumbled backwards.

  “I�
��m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you, but if you thought I was letting you run off by yourself you are wrong. Now, tell me what’s going on?”

  I stood up and brushed the sand off me. Clearing my throat, I prepared to try and avoid the conversation at all possible.

  “Did you lock up my apartment? Not that there is anything there to steal or destroy now,” I said frowning.

  “I did, but you aren’t answering my question.” He said taking a step closer to me.

  “I’m starving.” I stated as I started to walk around him.

  He quickly wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me to him. Breathing him in, I was going to lose this. Holding him tighter, I rested my head on his chest and just let him hold me. If I was going to lose all this, then I wanted to enjoy it while I had it.

  A few minutes passed before either of us spoke. I think we were both just so lost in our thoughts that we hadn’t realized how much time had passed.

  “Carson?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Can we go home now? I’m exhausted.”

  “Sure.” He said sadly.

  He thought I was going to talk to him about the phone call, but I just couldn’t. This was a mess, but it was a mess I had to straighten out for myself. I couldn’t bring him down with me. No I needed to figure this out. Somehow, I needed to figure this out.

  We walked back to his truck in silence. The drive to his house was silent. The whole time I had worked out a plan. As much as it pains me, I was going to be leaving…tonight. Just one more night with the only man I have ever truly loved and trusted. Tonight, I would walk away from the only happiness I have had since I was thirteen years old. A tear trickled down my face. I moved to wipe it away quickly, but Carson’s hand was there. I turned my head to look at him. The look I saw was not sadness, but loss. My heart sped up as I started to panic. I thought for a moment he knew what I was going to do.

  “Angel, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong.”

  “Then why the tears?”