Necessary Evil

by Donald Hanley

  “Hmm?” I asked around a mouthful of pizza. I looked around just in time to see Susie’s butt and legs dive into the pool with scarcely a splash. Her clothes were scattered haphazardly around the spot where she’d been sitting. “Just ignore her,” I sighed. “If you don’t look, it’s just like it’s not happening.” I followed my own advice and turned back to my plate.

  “Mayhap the waif has the right of it,” Daraxandriel said. “The waters may ease my – er, my tail’s current discomfort.” She struggled to unwind her tail from the arm of the chair when it tried to keep her from leaving us and then walked over to the shallow end of the pool. She stepped in gingerly and her tail did its best to climb over her shoulder as she waded in deeper. My eyes refused to blink when she finally peeled her dress over her shoulder and tossed it back onto the concrete deck, until Melissa poked me hard in the arm.

  “What are you looking at?” she asked dangerously.

  “Nothing!” I grabbed my Coke to prove that I wasn’t at all distracted and almost dumped the whole thing over my shirt when the hole didn’t line up with my mouth.

  “Uh-huh.” She sat back with her arms crossed, watching Daraxandriel with narrowed eyes and pursed lips. Then her gaze slid back to me and the corner of her mouth quirked up. “Does this count as number eight?”

  “Huh?”

  “It’s supposed to be in the Brazos River but this way we won’t get in trouble.”

  “Huh?” I had no idea what she was talking about.

  She stood without answering and pulled her top over her head, revealing a cotton sports bra. Then she unzipped her skirt and stepped out of it, exposing a pair of white briefs dotted with stylized bunnies.

  “Melissa!” Olivia squeaked. “What are you doing?”

  “We,” Melissa informed her firmly, “are going skinny-dipping.”

  She hauled Olivia out of her chair and pushed her towards the pool, ignoring her increasingly frantic protests. There, she simply shoved Olivia into the water and jumped in after her. A few seconds later, her bra and panties slapped onto the deck, followed shortly by Olivia’s dress, while I just sat there with my mouth hanging somewhere in the vicinity of my belly button.

  This is it, Little Peter gloated, the culmination of all your hopes and wet dreams. Drop everything – and I mean everything – and get out there!

  I can’t do that! I protested. They’ll see me!

  So?

  So I’ll get arrested or something!

  Pfft, seriously? Susie’s walked in on you and me sharing some quality time at least a thousand times, Dara’s already seen you, Melissa wants to see you, and Olivia – He paused thoughtfully. Okay, Olivia might be a problem. The individual in question tried to climb out of the pool, saw me watching her, and immediately dropped back into the water. Heh, we were right about her, Little Peter observed smugly. Definitely a B-cup and a natural brunette.

  Stop looking at them!

  You’re the one with the eyes, he reminded me. You stop looking.

  I couldn’t. Melissa hauled herself out of the water, sweeping her sodden locks out of her face, and then pattered around the pool to the diving board. She bounced on the end a couple of times, giving me another coronary, and then executed a perfect swan dive, resurfacing all the way down at the far end. She stood up, sputtering, not far from where Daraxandriel was standing and waved at me.

  “Peter!” she called. “What are you doing way over there? Come on!”

  “What? No!” I heard Olivia’s panicked voice but I couldn’t see her. I was surprised she hadn’t popped back into ghosthood yet.

  Well? Little Peter asked smoothly. What are you waiting for, a written invitation?

  I gulped and slowly pushed my chair back, turning away from the pool and its menagerie of mismatched mermaids in the futile hope that Little Peter would lose interest and fall back to DEFCON 4. Out of sight, out of mind, I told myself, to no avail. I struggled to get my shirt over my head and then reached for the button on my jeans just as my phone rang.

  I froze with my heart in my throat and then pulled it out, afraid to look at the number. To my intense relief, it wasn’t Lilixandriel, but it was nearly as bad. It was Dad. I almost let it roll over to voice mail but given everything that happened over the last couple of days, that would probably cause more problems than it solved. I cleared my throat, took a deep breath, and answered.

  “Hey, Dad,” I said in what I hoped was a normal voice.

  “Peter.” I’d never heard him sound so serious before. “I need you and Susie to come home right away.”

  “Why? What’s wrong? Did something happen to Mom?” Did Lilith find her? I didn’t ask, although I desperately wanted to.

  “No, she’s fine.” I dropped into my chair with a sigh of relief. “Something bad happened today and I just want the two of you back home where it’s safe until we deal with the situation.”

  It was probably safer where we were but I’d never be able to convince him of that. “What happened?” I was pretty sure I already knew the answer.

  “Police business,” he said grimly.

  “Dad –”

  “I know, I know, you’re one of us now. Almost,” he amended. He let his breath out slowly. “It turns out Agent Prescott was telling the truth. Lilith is a murderer, or at least an attempted murderer.”

  “You’re kidding.” I tried to sound surprised.

  “I couldn’t believe it myself but the witnesses were pretty clear. Lilith – or Lily Cantrell, I guess she calls herself now – and another man, Alex Nader, kidnapped seven people today and tortured them in some sort of Satanic ritual. They were probably responsible for that smoke bomb incident in the cemetery this morning too.”

  “Oh no! Are those people going to be okay?”

  “They’re alive, although they’re pretty shaken up. Prescott and his team discovered where they were and rescued them. The crime scene – well, just be thankful you weren’t there.”

  “So they caught Lilith?” I felt bad about feigning ignorance but I didn’t have much of a choice.

  “Nader was killed in the raid but Lilith escaped. That’s why I want you home. She’s still out there somewhere and Prescott thinks she’s going to keep trying until we finally stop her.” That part was true, at least.

  “Why would she be after us?” I argued. “She lived with us for a while and didn’t do anything.”

  “She was using us to create an alibi for herself but I’ll just feel better with the two of you here. Actually, that reminds me. Where’s Dara?”

  “She’s here.” She was currently trying to keep Melissa from splashing water on her tail.

  “She’s been with you the whole time?”

  “Yes, of course. You don’t suspect her, do you?”

  “I’m not going to blame her for having a fugitive for a sister but it’s best to be sure. What about Olivia? Is she still with you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Prescott said she was the bait in a trap they set for Lilith in New Orleans, but that still sounds a bit fishy to me. What is she wearing?”

  “Uh, wearing?” Absolutely nothing. She was standing behind Daraxandriel, trying to keep out of my line of sight, but Daraxandriel’s tail had wrapped itself around her upper thigh and the two of them were struggling to pry it off.

  “She was wearing some sort of blue dress yesterday, right? My memories from last night are a bit foggy but I think that’s right.”

  “Um, yeah, I think so. Why do you ask?”

  “Constable Lang found a dress that looks just like it near the crime scene. It’s too much of a coincidence that an outfit just like hers ended up in a place where Lilith was known to be.”

  “That does sound strange,” I agreed, desperately trying to come up with a reason why Olivia’s dress would be there.

  “Is she still wearing that dress?”

  “Ah, no. Everyone’s in the pool right now.” Olivia managed to extract herself from the tail’s embrace and took refuge u
nderwater, with only her eyes showing above the surface.

  “All right. Bring her with you when you come home. I need to speak with her again. If that dress is missing –” He let his voice trail off ominously.

  “I understand,” I said. Oh crap, I thought. How are we going to explain this? Melissa walked around the edge of the pool again, heading for the diving board again, and my eyes automatically followed every movement she made. Droplets of water gleamed like diamonds on every square inch of her body and I tried to shift Little Peter over without being too obvious about it. Then inspiration struck. “Dad, what about Melissa?”

  “What about her?”

  “She’s going to be all by herself if we leave. If Lilith’s still out there somewhere, we really shouldn’t leave her alone.”

  “Aren’t her parents there?” I heard the frown in his voice.

  “Her father went out of town suddenly. Her mother lives in Houston.”

  “I see. Well, you’d better bring her along too, then.”

  “There’s really not enough room for everyone there,” I protested. “We should just stay here. We’ll keep all the doors locked.”

  “I can’t protect you there, Peter.”

  You can’t protect us there, either. “It’s a gated community,” I argued. “There’s a 24-hour guard on duty.”

  “The entrance to the industrial district has a guard too,” he said heavily. “That didn’t stop Lilith and Nader from getting in and hurting those people. Come home, Peter. We’ll sort everything out when you’re here.”

  I knew a losing situation when I saw it. “Yes, sir,” I said glumly. “We’ll be there soon.”

  “It’s only for a little while,” Dad promised. “We’ll catch Lilith and everything will go back to normal.”

  “I hope so.” I wasn’t sure what constituted normal anymore. Even if we finally beat Lilixandriel, nothing was going to be the same. “Bye, Dad.”

  “Goodbye, Peter.”

  I hung up and massaged my forehead. This whole situation had disaster written all over it. If Lilixandriel still had imps watching the house, she’d know where we were the instant we drove up, and if we couldn’t explain away Olivia’s dress, Dad was going to think she was involved in some imaginary Satanist conspiracy. He might even start doubting Prescott’s story again and that would lead to a whole bunch of questions we couldn’t answer.

  “We are so screwed,” I muttered, palming my eyes.

  “What’s wrong, Peter?” Melissa somehow managed to walk up beside me without me noticing. I turned to explain what just happened and came face-to-face with her prominent female assets in all their glorious perfection, still damp and goosebumped and tantalizingly erect.

  “Guh.” That was the only sound I was capable of uttering right then.

  “I’ll take that as a compliment.” She took the seat beside me and gathered her hair into a thick bundle, wringing it out like a soggy dishrag. “But seriously, what’s wrong? You look worried.”

  “I, um, Dad, ah, we need to, uh –”

  Melissa reached over and tilted my head up, breaking my line of sight with her chest. “Up here, Peter.”

  I swallowed with difficulty and did my best to focus on her dark eyes. “Dad wants us home.” I summarized the conversation for her and she sat back in alarm.

  “We are so screwed,” she murmured. “What are we going to do?”

  “I have no idea,” I admitted.

  “Thy mien is troubled, Peter Simon Collins,” Daraxandriel observed, walking up behind Melissa. “Is summat awry?” She was only wet up to her hips and the droplets were already evaporating into steam from her body heat.

  “We’ve got a problem,” Melissa told her tersely. “Susie! Olivia! Get over here, we need you!”

  Daraxandriel took the chair beside Melissa and retrieved her sword as Susie reluctantly climbed out of the pool and joined us. She plopped into the seat on my other side with ill grace and started braiding her hair into a long, drippy rope. “What?” she asked grumpily.

  I opened my mouth to answer but Melissa interrupted me. “Olivia!” she called. “We’re waiting!”

  “No, that’s okay!” Olivia answered nervously. “I’ll just stay here.” All I could see of her over the edge of the pool were her eyes and the top of her head.

  Susie heaved an impatient sigh and splayed her fingers on the table. All of the diamonds on her rings flashed and suddenly Olivia was crouching down beside the last chair. She squeaked in surprise and scrambled to sit, hunkering down with her arms crossed over her chest. “Oh my God,” she whispered. The bright pink in her cheeks and ears was probably a permanent fixture now.

  “Okay, listen up everyone.” Melissa stood and planted her hands flat on the table, heedless of the fact that she was still completely and undeniably naked. “Here’s the situation.” She quickly recapped Dad’s orders and outlined the challenges facing us, while I tried to remember how to blink.

  It’s too bad Mrs. Kendricks isn’t here, Little Peter said slyly. We’d have the whole range of sizes, from A to D.

  Shut up! That image was all too easy to conjure up and I prayed Melissa wouldn’t ask me to stand and address the team. I had to admire the way she took charge of the situation, though. That was the Melissa I knew before Lilixandriel showed up on our doorstep.

  “So, any ideas?” Melissa asked, looking around the table.

  “Eep!” Olivia sat up straight, looking startled.

  “Yes, Olivia?”

  “No, it’s not that!” Olivia protested. “Somebody’s touching my leg!”

  I hurriedly raised my hands to prove it wasn’t me even though I was well out of range and everyone else’s hands were already visible. Olivia reached down with a grimace, shifting around in her chair, and then held up Daraxandriel’s tail. It wriggled in her grasp, trying to escape.

  “Thou most wanton appendage!” Daraxandriel exclaimed in dismay. “Do not impose thyself upon Olivia without leave!”

  “No, it’s okay, it just startled me, that’s all.” Olivia let the tail encircle her forearm. “I like it. It’s nice and warm.” She stroked its head with a shy smile and Melissa and I both looked at Daraxandriel, who eyed her tail uneasily.

  “Okay, then,” Melissa said, clearing her throat. “Does anyone have any ideas of how we can get to Peter’s house without being seen?”

  “That’s easy,” Susie pronounced, wiggling her fingers.

  “We need to bring the van back too,” I reminded her.

  “Piece of cake,” she assured me.

  “It’s a two-ton hunk of steel, Susie.”

  She thought that over with a frown and a twist to her lips. “Two pieces of cake.”

  “No.”

  “I need to bring my car over anyway so I can get to work tomorrow,” Melissa said. “It’s a brand-new loaner so nobody will recognize it. I’ll go over first and take care of any imps.”

  “Won’t Lilith get suspicious if her imps suddenly disappear?”

  “If I hit them fast enough, they won’t be able to tell her what’s happening,” she argued. “She won’t know they’re gone.”

  “Unless they’re supposed to check in periodically.”

  “That’s still better than the alternative.”

  “I suppose,” I said reluctantly, “unless someone has a better plan?” Four heads shook in unison. “Okay, so what do we do about Olivia’s dress?”

  “Steal it back,” Susie asserted.

  “No. Any other ideas?”

  Olivia raised her hand hesitantly. “Get another one just like it?”

  “That’s ... brilliant!” She smiled in appreciation and sat up taller. I tried very hard not to react to the fact that her breasts were now visible. “Dara, that was actually your dress, wasn’t it? Do you remember where Mom got it?”

  “Hmm?” Daraxandriel blinked at me, looking a bit flustered.

  “Have you been listening?” I asked her pointedly.

  “Certes!” she i
nsisted. She reached over and pulled her tail away from Olivia’s arm, trapping it in the crook of her arm. “Summat about thy dame’s carriage?” she asked hopefully.

  “No, about the blue dress Olivia was wearing. What store did it come from?”

  “I do not ken the answer, Peter Simon Collins,” she said regretfully. “We did visit many shops.”

  “It doesn’t really matter, Peter,” Melissa said. “Men never pay attention to the details anyway. We just need something that looks like it.”

  “I guess,” I said doubtfully. “Are there any clothing stores nearby?”

  “We don’t need one. I should have something in my closet that will do. Let’s go.”

  Melissa strode to the back door and Daraxandriel and Susie trailed her inside. Olivia looked at them, then looked at me, and then looked down at herself, before jumping to her feet and fleeing for the safety of the house.

  I sank back into my chair, rolling my neck to work out the kinks. Did we really just have a topless roundtable discussion about imps and dresses? I asked myself. A quick glance at the articles of clothing scattered around the patio confirmed it. Justin will never believe me, not that I’d ever tell him. If Dad hadn’t called right then –

  “Peter?” I jerked upright and gaped at Melissa standing in the doorway with a yellow towel wrapped around her waist and nothing else. “Are you coming?”

  “Co – com – coming?” I stuttered.

  “Upstairs. We need your help making sure we get the right dress.”

  “Oh, ah, right. I just need to, um –” I searched around desperately for a reason to avoid standing up and I snatched my shirt from the table. “I’ll be right there, I just need to get, um, dressed.”

  “You better hurry,” she smirked. “You’re going to miss all the fun.”

  “Fun?”

  “Oh, you know, girls trying on clothes, girls taking off clothes ...” She let her voice trail off with a teasing grin as she turned away. “Oops.” Her towel slipped off but she caught it and draped it casually over her shoulder as she disappeared inside.

  “Oh God,” I breathed. I made a note to kill Justin later for showing her that list.

  21