James (Members From Money Book 34)

by Katie Dowe

  “Those fries dripping with oil and the greasy burgers?” he asked as his eyebrows rose.

  “Bad for the health but oh so delicious,” she said with a grin. “No wonder they shut it down.” She headed for the door. “Thanks James.”

  *****

  Whenever the shop was very busy she helped out at the front. It was a bitingly cold day and people kept running in to get out of the cold and have a hot chocolate beverage with something extra added to it. While Becky rang up sales she handed the customers their orders. It didn't slow down until after two and she finally headed to the back to get herself something to drink and a flaky chocolate pastry that Markeeta had come up with. She hadn't had time to think about anything, but suddenly he flashed into her mind so sharply that she had to put her cup down and take a deep breath. You are nothing without me! she heard the sound of his voice inside her head and had to willfully block it out. With a determined expression on her face she drank her cup of hot chocolate and went back to work.

  Chapter 2

  “Would you like to share anything with us Kennedy?” the woman leading the meeting asked her. “I know that the holidays tend to be very stressful but I'm happy to see that you all turned out today,” she said with a gentle smile. “Anything happen over the week we didn't meet that you want to share with us?” Her eyes lingered on Kennedy.

  She'd been coming to the meeting for the past six months and it was just a month ago that she'd shared part of her story after realizing that the women there had stories similar to hers.

  “I had that dream again,” she finally said. A girl seated next to her automatically reached out to take her hand and Kennedy willed herself not to pull away. They were encouraged to hold hands and be a comfort to one another. It creeped her out but she did it anyway.

  “The one where you feel him pressing down on you?” Linda, the woman leading the meeting, prompted.

  Kennedy nodded and, lifting her head, she stared at her. “I'm not going to let it get me down. I woke up and instead of screaming and crying I went to make some tea and went back to bed.”

  “A very good attitude to that test,” the woman said in approval. “Anyone else?”

  A fairly new member up front told of how she called him up and almost asked him to come over. “I kind of feel lost without him,” she said sheepishly.

  “And that’s natural, my dear. We're certainly not here to judge. Whenever you feel the urge to call him next time, just call one of us and we will guide you through.”

  Kennedy allowed her mind to drift as the conversations flowed around her. She'd brought pastries from her store for them all to eat when they were finished and she'd actually started to think that she would get past her insecurities and the fear and dread he'd planted inside her over the two years she'd been with him. Was it only two years? She wondered idly. Somehow it felt like a lifetime of punishment and abuse. She shook herself as Linda’s voice penetrated her thoughts. She forced herself to listen to the words of wisdom from a woman who'd been in a similar situation to hers.

  “Okay ladies,” she said as she stood up, indicating for them to do the same. “This has been a very good meeting with a lot of breakthroughs. We meet again on Thursday and before you leave I'm inviting you to have some of the delicious pastries and drinks that Kennedy provided courtesy of her shop,” she said with a smile.

  Kennedy mingled for a little bit and then left. She'd just walked out of the room with the intention of going through the swinging doors of the hotel when her eyes caught the sign propped up outside of the room across from where she stood. “Self-defense lessons for women.”

  She started to push the doors open to let herself out but decided to go and check it out. The room was empty, with mats strewn all around it and several sofas in corners. A petite Asian woman stood there in sweats with her arms on her hips as she looked around. “Oh hey,” she said with a smile on her lovely face. “Come on in.”

  “No I was just on my way out—”

  “And you saw the sign,” she said with a grin. “That was the intention. Come on in. “I'm actual black belt at karate but I wanted to give back to the community. My name is Julia Zhang.”

  “As in Zhang’s Hotel?” Kennedy advanced further into the room and stared at the girl.

  “I'm afraid so. My brother gave me permission to use this room. Would you like to sign up?”

  “I don’t know if I would be able to do something like that—”

  “I've already signed up a group of women who has no idea what karate means. You have company.”

  “I'm not sure.”

  “Think about it. You come for meetings here?”

  Kennedy looked at the girl sharply.

  “I know the meetings are supposed to be private but I have a pretty good idea what goes on around here. That's one of the reasons why I wanted to hold the classes here. And there's a women’s shelter further up the block.”

  “You want to try and save us from abuse?” Kennedy asked her cynically.

  “Yes,” Julia said quietly. “I do.”

  Kennedy stared at her for a moment and then nodded. “Okay. I'll be here on Thursday.”

  “Good,” Julia said briskly. “I didn't get your name.”

  “Kennedy Clarke.”

  “Well Kennedy, it’s very nice to meet you.”

  *****

  “Here,” Kennedy handed the glass of wine to her sister and took her seat with her feet curled beneath her. She'd come home an hour ago to see Joan sitting in front of her apartment, waiting for her.

  “Thanks,” Joan sipped the wine moodily before looking at her sister. “How are you?”

  “I'm fine, but you're not,” Kennedy pointed out. Her sister was as different in appearance from her as possible. Joan had inherited their mother’s plain features and her thin hair, which she had decided to keep natural. It actually looked very good and suited her round face. It was now twisted into a knot on top of her head. She had large dark eyes, which were her most appealing feature. She also leaned to being plump like their mother and had tried every kind of diet to get rid of the pounds, but to no avail. She'd blamed the way she looked on her husband leaving her and still stuck with that thinking. Both of them were broken and one couldn't help the other.

  “I'm just trying to get out of the holiday funk,” she said with a small smile. She settled back against the sofa and looked at her sister. Kennedy had showered and changed into an old sweater and lounge pants. She'd let her hair down and although she hadn't brushed it, the tangled strands drifted past her shoulders in appealing waves. “I'm divorced and I'm not even thirty.”

  “You'll be thirty in January,” Kennedy pointed out with a grin.

  “Thanks for the reminder,” she said dryly but couldn't help but smile. “I wanted to get married so badly that I didn't consider whether or not Jackson and I were really in love. I wanted to prove that what dad’s going away did to us didn't matter to me anymore and I jumped into the marriage. I was wrong. We never loved each other, Kennedy, and he did the right thing in leaving.”

  “Are you making excuses for him?”

  “No,” Joan shook her head. “I'm giving reasons for what happened. I cannot go on like this anymore.” She reached over and curled her fingers over her sister’s. “We have been in this boat far too long and it's threatening to overturn us. We have to bail before it's too late.”

  Kennedy moved her hand away and got busy clasping her glass. “I signed up for self-defense classes today.”

  Joan looked at her in surprise. “You did?”

  “I saw the sign as I was heading out of my group meeting and went over to check it out.” She shrugged. “I just went out of curiosity but the girl who will be running the classes convinced me.” She looked at her sister. “Her name is Julia Zhang.”

  Joan frowned a little as if trying to place the name and then her brows cleared. “Billionaires Zhang: a brother and a sister.”

  “The sister, and she seems nice.” />
  “Are you sure?”

  Kennedy shrugged again. “Maybe if I'd been more reactive instead of cowering in fear every time Conway said or did anything to me I would be a better person now. I'm not going to allow another man to do that to me again.”

  *****

  “Do you want me to package that for you?” Kennedy asked the man politely as he paid for the chocolate puff.

  “I want that as well as a phone number,” the man said with a grin. He was tall and dressed in a suit jacket. He had light blue eyes and blonde hair and she had a feeling that he thought he could get any woman he wanted.

  She packaged the pastries and, taking a card with the shop number on it, she handed it to him. “Have a nice day.”

  He looked at the card and then at her. “I was referring to your personal number.”

  “I don’t give that out,” she told him coolly.

  “I just want us to go and grab lunch or dinner. No big deal,” he persisted.

  “You're holding up the line sir,” she said, her eyes flashing.

  He stepped out of the line but stood there. “How about that number?”

  “I already told you no.”

  “And I'm not taking no for an answer.”

  “She said no sir, so I would appreciate you taking your package and leaving.” Kennedy hadn't heard Markeeta coming up behind her.

  The man looked from one to the other and then with a shrug he left.

  “Thank you,” Kennedy said softly. She'd started to shake a little bit and had been about to erupt.

  “You're welcome, honey. Why don’t you go around back and let me help out for a bit. I'm finished in the kitchen.”

  Kennedy looked at her friend in gratitude and nodded. She hurried off into the small office, closing the door behind her. She went around her desk and put her head down, taking a deep breath. He'd been persistent and pushy and that had started the alarm bells going off inside her head, and sending memories crashing into her brain. When she'd first met Conway she'd thought that his pushy attitude had been very attractive and had proven that he was a confident man who knew what he wanted.

  “I never take no for an answer Kennedy,” he'd told her when they'd first met. She'd been working as an accountant at a nearby firm and had stepped out to get a coffee. That was when she'd bumped into him. He'd steadied her and asked her for a date, and she had told him no at the time. He'd persisted and told her that he didn't take no for an answer and she'd found it appealing. She'd said yes and they'd started dating. She'd fallen in love with him and he'd moved in with her. It wasn't long after that that she'd discovered that he was a classic bully. He'd started making changes in her life, telling her how to dress and slapping her around when she did something to displease him. Not only had he abused her physically, but the emotional abuse had stripped her gradually of her confidence. Her sister had finally intervened and she'd gotten him out of her apartment. It had taken her a long time to shake her fear of him but she'd done so gradually. Her confidence had come back after a while but more so when he'd overdosed on cocaine and had died.

  She fought tears and lifted her head. She was done crying for what that man had done to her!

  *****

  “I invited myself over to cook you dinner,” Julia murmured as James took off his jacket and put it on the peg just inside the living room. “I'm making sesame chicken.”

  “How did you know I didn't have plans?” he asked her as he came into the kitchen and sniffed the air. She was wearing an apron that he was sure belonged to his heavy housekeeper.

  “Today is Wednesday. You stay home on Wednesdays to chill out and be alone.”

  His brows lifted at that and she laughed. “I know that I'm intruding on your private time but I miss you, darling.” She shook back her curtain of dark hair as she tasted the sauce. “And besides, I want to talk to you about the classes.”

  “You started?”

  “Hmm.” She reached for plates and handed them to him. “Last Thursday was my first class and I had a good amount of women turn up.” She glanced at him. “We're eating in here.” She indicated the shiny marble counter and he put the dishes there. “There's this one girl that I like but you should see how averse she is to being touched, James! I took her hand to show her a simple move and she acted as if she'd been shot.”

  He sat at the counter and opened the bottle of wine. “You should understand that,” he said briefly as he poured the wine.

  “Yes, I do understand, and that's why I'm so damned angry!” Julia dished out the meal and went to get the salad she'd prepared. “Why do we do this to one another? People who are supposed to love us end up wanting to control us. That's not love, I don’t know what it is.”

  “Abuse of power,” James said quietly as he sipped his wine. “You know exactly what it is.”

  “I'm sorry—”

  “To bring up our childhood?” James asked sardonically as he looked at his sister. “Why?”

  “I know how hard it is on you,” she said quietly.

  “Also on you,” his expression softened for a moment as he looked at her. “We were both victims.”

  “I don’t want to be anymore,” she said quietly. “Seeing those women and how defeated they look made me realize that I don't want to be a victim anymore. I want to live and love and have a family with a man that I'm in love with and who wants to spend time with me.”

  “You were always a romantic,” he said with a slight smile.

  “It’s called being human James,” she said seriously. “I want to feel human again. Father treated us like we were his property and we all let him get away with it.”

  “I tried standing up to him and still have the scars on my back to show for it,” James said lightly as he looked at her.

  Julia stared at him in as if she was remembering. “You stepped in when he was scolding Mother because she hadn't folded the napkins the way he wanted them to be folded.” Julia blinked tears from her large dark eyes. “And she just stood there watching without saying anything while he took a belt to you. Why didn’t we report him?”

  “Because we were afraid of leaving our home.” he put away his glass and reached for her hands. “He's gone and so is she. You're right. You need to start living your life.”

  “What about you?”

  “I'm already living the life I want.”

  *****

  Kennedy poured out the last of the wine and drained the bottle. She hadn't been shopping in two weeks and all that was in her fridge was moldy cheese that looked like it had been there for a very long time, and a jug of milk that she doubted was good anymore. She'd brought home a pastry from the store and nibbled on it while she drank the wine. It was Friday night, which meant she got to sleep late and go in at noon to the store. There was a book club signed up for tomorrow at the store at one so she had to be there on time to set up. She'd started coming up with these ideas to use the store for something other than people coming in to buy what they needed and then get out. She'd started to reach out to companies and individuals. There was a large table at the corner of the room reserved for the author who'd just published her first book and a chance for readers and regular customers to sit and discuss the book in detail while enjoying their beverages and pastries. Another time she planned a chocolate tasting and it had gone very well. She was very good at what she did, but even knowing that wasn't enough. He'd stripped her completely over the two years they'd been together. She'd been confident and outgoing and had slowly become this woman who was afraid of her own shadow and didn't go anywhere except to work and to the supermarket. She hadn't bought one single new dress in a year because she didn't need it. She emptied her wine glass and put the glass on top of the table. With a sudden decision she got up and hurried to the bedroom where she opened the closet door. She stared at the contents and reached for a black dress she hadn't worn in a very long time. She pulled the sweater over her head and shimmied out of the pants before putting the dress on. It slid over her s
lender curves and clung. She went to get a brush from the vanity and pulled it through her tangled hair, wincing as it encountered knots. But after a few minutes of brushing, the strands fell past her shoulders in gentle waves. She used her fingers to comb them back from her face and stared at herself critically. The dress still fit because, of course, she hadn't put on any weight, she hardly ate! She shook her hair back and stared at herself. She knew a long time ago that she was very attractive but Conway had found a way to make her doubt that and it had stuck. He'd found a way to convince her that when she put makeup on it was her way to try and attract men so that they would look at her. “You goddamned whore!” he'd screamed at her. “You want to be with another man. Just let me know so that I can leave.” She'd taken off the makeup to please him and after a time she'd stopped wearing it altogether. More than she blamed him, she blamed herself! How could she have been so spineless as to allow another person to do that to her? She spun away from the mirror and hurriedly took off the dress, her hands trembling. She wasn't ready to face life again, she wasn't ready to go back out there again, and she was certainly not ready to let another man into her life again, if ever! She closed her eyes and sat heavily on the bed. She flopped back down as she willed the memories to just go away. That was how she fell asleep; curled up on her side and tears staining her cheeks.

  Chapter 3

  James couldn't help but notice her. His sister had dragged him there for him to see what was happening and to help her demonstrate some pointers to the women. He counted about twenty women and realized that his sister had been right. His dark eyes followed her as she tried to mimic the moves his sister was making. The self-defense classes had been going on for the past three weeks now and even though the snow was piling up outside the women were still present. She had on tights and a loose t-shirt, which was not really appropriate and inhibited free movement, but she was graceful, he had to give her that. And she was beautiful. Her hair was caught back in a ponytail and moved whenever she did. She didn't laugh the way the other women did when they made a mistake, instead her face was serious and focused.