Dearly Departed

by Katie May

  Enough for Braxton to fall in love with me.

  Love.

  That one word settles in my stomach like a block of lead mixing with the bundle of nerves. I know I feel strongly for all four of them. I’m definitely attracted to them, and I know I’m starting to feel something for them...but love? I’m not sure. I honestly don’t think so, at least not yet.

  I won’t deny that there is a possibility I could fall in love with all of them. The bridge has been painstakingly built, encompassing a chasm, and I just need to find the courage to cross over. Currently, I’m two steps in, staring at the bridge that seems to go on forever. I could jog or run or walk...or I could turn around and head back the way I came.

  And if they react the way I expect them to after I reveal the truth about my feelings? They might just blow up the bridge themselves.

  “Fuck,” I whimper to myself in the silence of my room. Aggie sleeps soundlessly beside me, moonlit and still. “Put your big girl panties on, Had.”

  After that pep talk, I reluctantly rise from the bed and throw on a sweatshirt over my pajamas. I didn’t bother to wear a bra to bed because, in all honesty, what heathen does?

  I need to woman-up and confess the truth to them. Confront them. And, hopefully, get them talking amongst themselves. A girl can dream, right?

  “Get some balls,” I murmur to myself before pausing. “Get some pussy,” I correct, because let’s face it, pussies are so much more badass than balls. The epitome of strength right there.

  Before I can change my mind, I head out to track down the four men who have captured my heart...and broke each others’.

  I find Preston first.

  It’s surprisingly easy to travel into the Reapers’ dorm, ask the front desk worker which room Preston sleeps in, and obtain a key. Honestly, you would think after all the deaths on campus they would be a little more hesitant and cautious about giving this information to a virtual stranger, but no. She’s all smiles and dimples as she hands me a key and directs me to the second floor.

  Security here is a fucking joke.

  Preston, the lucky bastard, has a single room, and he’s still soundly asleep when I open the door. He’s all snuggled up, the blankets wrapped around his waist, his bare chest rising and falling steadily.

  I take a moment—a very brief moment—to stare around his room in rapt fascination. I don’t want to appear like any more of a creeper than I already do. It’s similar to mine in style, but has only one set of furniture instead of two. The color scheme making up the bedspread, curtains, and the assortment of clothes hanging over the back of his chair appears to be light blue and white. It’s as unkempt as Preston is, a fact I find endearing.

  Footsteps soft, I tiptoe up to his bed and crawl across the blankets until my body is balanced over his, my weight resting on my forearms positioned on either side of his head.

  “Preston,” I whisper softly, planting a kiss on his forehead.

  He murmurs something in his sleep, something I can’t entirely discern.

  “Preston…” I move my lips to his cheek, kissing downwards until they touch the corner of his mouth. “Wake up.”

  With a roar—a literal roar— Preston’s eyes snap open, and his body rolls, pinning me beneath him. He kisses me with a ferocious intensity I don’t expect from my sweet, timid lover. His carnal hunger causes molten lava to cascade through my veins and to my core. He bites down brutally on my lower lip, and I moan low in my throat, the sound reverberating through my body.

  The kisses lose their intensity until soon, he’s merely peppering tiny, sweet pecks across my swollen lips. His unfocused eyes widen slightly, and his entire body freezes. He pushes himself up into a sitting position, the blanket pooling around his legs. It’s only then that I realize…motherfucking Preston sleeps in the nude. Yup. You heard me right. Unbidden, my eyes go to his erect cock, glistening with pre-cum.

  Fuck me.

  Literally. In the front or back, I don’t care.

  “Holy fuck,” Preston breathes, scraping his fingers through his dark hair. Of course, that only serves to make it more disheveled, sticking in all directions on his head. “That wasn’t a dream?” His cheeks are a delicate shade of red.

  “You dream about me often?” I ask, only half teasing. Internally, I’m flattered. Heaven only knows how many dreams I’ve had of Preston and company, when the nightmares aren’t plaguing me.

  And yes, company means his brothers. Don’t judge me.

  “Every night,” Preston blurts. “Wake up, masturbate, and then repeat the cycle.” He pauses, his eyes widening. “Fuck! Did I say that out loud?”

  I smile cheekily, leaning forward to plant a chaste kiss on his cheek.

  “You’re adorable.”

  “Thank you?”

  My hands fiddle on my lap as I suddenly recall the reason I had come here in the first place. It wasn’t just for a hot as hell make out session...though that was an added bonus. Bracing myself—pulling on my metaphorical big girl panties—I say, “Meet me on the bridge in one hour, okay? We need to talk.”

  Preston’s smile widens causing my heart to stutter. He’s so fucking gorgeous that it physically pains me...and he doesn’t even realize it. He stares at me as if I hung the moon, the stars, and the sun. But I didn’t. Not really. That’s too much brightness, too much goodness, for me to handle. Sometimes I believe I crave the dark because the light is too much for a girl like me. I’m just...a black hole.

  Guilt swarms low in my stomach like angry gnats.

  “So you’ll come?” I question Preston tentatively when he doesn’t immediately respond. His lips brush across my cheek, feeling like the wing of a butterfly in its softness.

  “Don’t you know I’ll go anywhere for you?” he whispers adoringly.

  My heart stutters, suddenly feeling too much too quickly for this man. I can only hope he’ll feel the same after my confession.

  I go to Auston next, and this time, I’m not immediately handed the room key. The girl working the Angel front desk eyes me with barely concealed contempt. She’s pretty with the signature white, cascading hair all Angels have and huge ass wings fluttering from her back. But her sneer is decidedly un-angel-like as she trails her gaze over me.

  “Why do you want to see Auston?” she asks, not bothering to veil her jealousy and anger.

  Ah. Now it makes sense.

  This girl must be an ex-girlfriend of Auston’s. Something akin to jealousy spears me, and I rub at my chest to alleviate the sudden ache. Why am I not surprised Auston has a beautiful ex-girlfriend? A beautiful ex-girlfriend who is obviously not over him?

  “Just give me a room number please,” I reply, teeth gnashing together and jaw clenching. She glares right back.

  “Hadley?” a familiar voice says from behind me. “What are you doing here?”

  I look over my shoulder, surprised to see Fucking Jake entering the dorm building. Actually, I shouldn’t be surprised. He lives here, for Christ’s sake. But what is he doing out in the middle of the night? As soon as I think that, I have an ah-ha moment in my head...

  Of course.

  What do most teenagers do when they’re sneaking in and out in the middle of the night? I’ll give you a hint—it’s not baking cookies.

  Fucking Jake got his fucking dick wet.

  “Fuc—Jake!” I correct quickly, smiling widely. “Maybe you could help me.”

  Angel Skank Bitch growls.

  “What do you need, Had Babe?”

  You’re not to use that nickname.

  “I have a huge test in Angel tomorrow, and I was hoping to grab my notes from Auston. I left them with him when he was tutoring me yesterday,” I lie, batting my lashes. Jake’s face changes, tightening when I mention Auston, and his jaw clenches tightly. “Please?”

  He glances at me, his eyes hard, when they suddenly widen. His mouth drops open in shock, and his eyes go white. He stills for a moment as a premonition washes over him, but it’s over in seconds. Doz
ens of emotions flash in his cerulean depths when he sees reality again, looking at me like he’s seeing me for the first time. He smooths his expression over quickly, replacing it with an apathetic front.

  “Fine,” he says breezily, leading me down the hall. I feel Skank’s eyes on my back, burning a hole into my skin. He stops in front of a room at the very end of the hall. “Here we are. But don’t be too offended if he’s buried balls deep inside another girl. Auston likes his women.” With that warning, he turns on his heel and stalks down the hall. I watch him go with my heart racing in tandem to my thoughts.

  Could Auston be with another woman?

  Why does that thought fill me with such icy dread?

  I had sex with two of his brothers, for fuck’s sake. I have no claim on Auston—we’ve never even kissed and he’s never mentioned he has feelings for me. Actually, I have no claim on any of these men. Except for the one my vagina’s throwing out there like she’s a damn fisherman sinking a hook into her fish.

  Gross metaphor, I know.

  With bated breath, I lift my fist to knock on the door.

  Only to have it open before my hand can touch the wood.

  Auston leans indolently against the wooden frame. He’s shirtless, his sculpted muscles on display, adorned with intricate tattoos that elicit shivers from me—my body’s visceral response. Unlike Preston, he has a pair of low-riding sweatpants on, showing off a splattering of white blond hair and the mouthwatering V I find so attractive in guys.

  “Yes,” Auston says before I can open my mouth.

  “Um...I didn’t...how did you know I was here?” I settle on at last. There’s a thousand things I want to say, want to ask, and I hate to admit the majority of them have to do with the gorgeous female down the hall.

  “Premonition,” he explains, tapping the side of his head. “Angels get them, remember? You want to ask me if I’ll meet you at the bridge in a little bit, and the answer’s yes.”

  “Oh. Well. Um. Okay. I’ll just—” Before I can finish my sentence, Auston pulls me into a bruising, possessive kiss. One of his large hands fists my hair, pulling my face up to meet his, while the other is splayed on my lower back, holding my body firmly against his. I shudder against him, the feeling of safety that fills me when I’m in his arms washing over me.

  “It’s going to work out, Hadley,” he murmurs softly. Earnestly. He peers into my eyes, almost as if he knows something I don’t. As if he can see every fucked up, perverted thought I had about him and his brothers and chooses not to judge me for them.

  Snort. Yeah, right.

  I want to stay in his arms forever, but I reluctantly untangle myself.

  “I’ll see you later,” I reply, glancing at the floor, suddenly feeling shy. Fuck, I don’t know how to deal with this.

  Feelings.

  I leave before Auston can respond.

  I find Karston on my way to visit Braxton.

  Actually, he finds me, materializing into existence mere inches from my face.

  “Hey, pretty lady. What are you doing out alone at night?” he inquires, and though his words are teasing, his tone reveals his anxiety. Probably not the smartest idea to walk around campus when there’s a crazy, soul-sucking murderer on the loose. Oops.

  “I’m stalking you,” I deadpan.

  “Are you a jogger? Because you’ve been running through my head all day,” he retorts.

  “So fucking cheesy, Karston,” I mutter, shaking my head. Still, my lips twitch. Something about Karston is addictive. Maybe I’m a wanton horn-dog...or maybe there’s something truly there.

  “Let’s meet tonight,” I say quickly. Briskly. I slip my hands into my sweatshirt pockets, the chilly wind ruffling my sandy blonde tresses.

  “Meet?”

  “The bridge. In a half hour. How does that sound?”

  He hesitates, eyeing me warily.

  “What are you going to do in the meantime?” he asks. There’s a lot I don’t know about Karston, I realize. He may act flirtatious, but the man has numerous layers. You peel one back, and you’re assaulted with an entirely new Karston. He’s protective and funny. Witty and sarcastic. Kind and flirtatious.

  I’ve barely scratched the surface with this man.

  “I forgot something in my dorm,” I lie, nodding towards the first year dorms. “I’ll be there in a second.”

  I feel awful for lying. Horrible. My stomach somersaults, threatening to expel the contents of my dinner with Aggie earlier. But what can I do? I need them all together for this announcement, and they’ll never come if they knew the others were present. They’re the most stubborn men I have ever met.

  “Okay. Go straight there. Don’t dilly dally,” Karston warns harshly. His eyes, however, are soft. “Why don’t I walk you?”

  I give him a long look.

  “Seriously? Karston, I’m perfectly capable of walking to my room by myself. But what were you doing out here anyway?” I question, almost afraid of his answer. If he says he was with a girl…

  His hot breath fans over my ear as he levitates and floats from one side of me to the other, trailing a finger along the back of my neck as he does. Goosebumps erupt on my arms and chest, and I inhale sharply.

  “I was coming to find you.”

  “Me?” I whisper, whipping my head to the side to stare directly at him. His brilliant eyes ensnare me, hold me hostage. In his gaze, I’m his prisoner. Completely and utterly under his hypnotic spell.

  “I like watching you sleep.” He shrugs nonchalantly. He has to be joking...right? A normal guy would blush at that confession, but not Karston. Fucking weirdo. A cute, sexy weirdo, but a weirdo all the same. “See you in a little bit, beautiful.”

  He slaps my ass, pushing me toward my dorm, and he waits until I’m inside before dematerializing once more. I give it a few more seconds, breathing heavily, before I slip out of the opposite side of my dorm and walk in the direction of the Demon dorm.

  Braxton’s still awake when I knock on his door.

  “Come in,” he calls. When I hesitate, he sighs impatiently. “Get your sexy ass in here, Hadley.”

  Oh. That’s me. I have the sexy ass.

  I timidly push open the door, hating that I have an easier time fucking this man than actually verbalizing my feelings. I turn towards where Braxton is sprawled on his bed. His horns shine amidst his thick, dark hair which has fallen over one eye. A book is propped open on his chest, and a cup of what looks like hot tea sits steaming on his bedside table.

  I’ve always found a man that reads to be so fucking sexy.

  “Can’t sleep?” I ask, feeling unnaturally shy. I slept with this guy, and yet I can’t make eye contact with him. His confession runs on repeat in my head. No, not just runs. Chases me. Hunts me down. Preys on me. I don’t know how to act around Braxton.

  Instead, I focus on his room. Like Preston’s, it’s designed for one person only with a bed, a dresser, and a desk. An opened door shows a small bathroom with ceramic tiles and a golden clawfoot tub. Totally going to use that one of these days.

  The bed itself has a black bedspread and an assortment of fluffy pillows. Two nightstands flank it on either side, one containing his cup of tea and the other a framed photo. I vaguely wonder who or what is in the photo. Who or what is so important to him to have it facing his bed? Before my curiosity can get the better of me, I turn back towards Braxton.

  My skin heats at the memory of his body pressed against mine. Fuck, I didn’t think I would like being dominated, but there was something about it that had my heart racing. It could also be because I trust Braxton implicitly with both my body and my heart...a thought that scares the shit out of me.

  Fuck, what am I doing? This isn’t some reverse harem novel I loved to read back at home. This is real fucking life, and that’s ten times worse. Real life doesn’t always have a happy ending. Just look at me now. Dead. I don’t see a happily ever after at the end of my story.

  I see four men staring at me with varyi
ng expressions of disgust and anger, as words are hurled my way like throwing knives.

  “How did you know it was me?” I query softly. There’s a water stain on the wall by his bed, and I suddenly find that spot rather interesting.

  Okay, fine. I’m a coward. I don’t want to make eye contact with the man who ravaged me only a few hours ago.

  “You’re the only girl I’ve ever allowed into my room.” Braxton shrugs his shoulders, the black tank top straining against his bulging muscles. “Now come here.” He pats the spot on the bed beside him. When I remain in the doorway, my feet cemented to the ground, his grin turns gentle. “We don’t have to do anything more than sit and cuddle, okay?”

  I twist my fingers together, staring at each individual one. My middle finger has a tiny bit of dirt encrusted beneath the nail, and I absently pick at it.

  “Actually, I was hoping we could meet and talk.”

  I move onto my ring finger, using my nails to scratch at the skin.

  “Why, Hadley, it sounds as if you’re breaking up with me,” Braxton says with a teasing glint to his eyes. His words, though meant to put me at ease, make my heart stop. Literally stop.

  Are we a couple now? Do I want us to be a couple? Fuck, why am I so confused?

  “Meet me at the bridge in about twenty minutes.”

  “You got it, babe.” He stands, stretching languidly as his massive wings spread out behind him before walking over to me and pressing a soft kiss on my forehead. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk now?”

  “No, it’s fine,” I say quickly. Too quickly. His brows furrow together, eyes narrowing suspiciously, but I dance out of the room before he can say anything. “Toodaloo.” I wave my fingers like the fucking dork I am.

  Only when I’m outside of the dorm, in the crisp air, do I face-palm myself.

  Real smooth, Hadley.

  I try to tamp down my sudden heavy breathing and racing heart. I need to walk onto that bridge levelheaded. And then…