Spin (Boosted Hearts Book 2)

by Sherilee Gray

  God only new what Len would do.

  And not only to her. Joe was still tied to him and would be for a long time yet. Thank God Len kept that part of the business away from Edith, so she hadn’t recognized him when she saw them together. Their situation was impossible. She had to keep her nose clean. Being with Joe was too dangerous. She’d be risking everything to continue spending time with him. It had to stop.

  Tapping out a reply, she tightened her fingers around her phone and forced herself to hold it together. Just thinking about what she had to do, what she had to say when he got there, made her nauseous.

  She had to lie—had to tell the man she was completely, undeniably in love with, that she didn’t want to see him anymore.

  That she didn’t want him.

  What choice did she have? If he found out what had happened, what Len had wanted from her—that Noah was now in foster care—he’d flip out. He’d go to Len and beat the shit out of him. She didn’t doubt that for one second.

  She couldn’t risk him doing that. It would blow back on her, could mess up her chances to get back her brother, but the ramifications to Joe would be far worse.

  Len was capable of anything right now. The man had lost his grip on reality.

  Which meant she had to finally end it. Tonight.

  ~ * ~

  It was late when Darcey heard the door rattle.

  Joe was picking the lock, rather than waking her. The guy was sweet that way. Was sweet in a whole lot of ways.

  But she wasn’t in bed; she was sitting cross-legged on the couch, the lamp on the small table beside it the only light on, waiting for him. If she’d gone to bed, she would have woken with him snuggled up behind her. How could she turn him away if he had those strong, protective arms around her? She couldn’t. She knew that much.

  The door opened and he stopped in his tracks as soon as he saw her.

  He blinked down at her several times then frowned. “What are you still doing up?” He closed the door behind him and took a step into the room, but he didn’t come closer, a wary expression on his face. “What’s going on, Darcey?”

  Just like that. He took one look at her and knew there was something wrong.

  She climbed to her feet and crossed her arms, fingers curled into tight fists. “I was waiting up for you actually, we…ah, we need to talk.”

  A rough breath burst past his lips and he swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple sliding up and down his throat. “Let’s talk in the morning.”

  He took a step toward her and she took an involuntary one back.

  “No. We need to talk now.”

  He stared at her for several long seconds.

  Oh God. He knew. He knew what she was going to say. “Joe…”

  “Don’t,” he rasped. “Just…don’t.” He shook his head, an almost desperate expression taking hold of his strong features. “Whatever the fuck you’re about to say…” He took another step closer. “Just…don’t.”

  How was it, with all the shit that had happened to her and Noah the last few years, that this moment felt like the worst of her life? How? It should be impossible, but it was the truth. It hurt like hell, and she hadn’t even said the words yet. Just the idea of Joe walking out that door and never coming back destroyed her.

  Darcey forced herself to start talking. “Um…so I’ve been thinking, and ah… Yeah, t-things between us have been moving too fast. I don’t…that’s not what…”

  “Darcey,” he growled.

  She ignored him, eyes locked on a spot over his shoulder, and kept talking. If she didn’t say it now, she’d never say it. “I need space. I’m… I’m feeling crowded. I’m going to be busy for a while, so I think we should stop…” She felt ill and had to choke out her next words. “Stop seeing each other.”

  Space was the last thing she wanted. God, she wanted to cling tighter, hang onto him with everything she had. Lay all the demons beating at her door at his feet and watch him destroy every last one of them. Because he could, he would. Joe made her world better just by being in it.

  The back of her eyes started stinging. She’d wanted Joe to be her forever.

  But he couldn’t.

  “You’re ending it? Just like that?” His nostrils flared, his jaw hardening. “You think you can just say it’s over and I’ll vanish?”

  She hugged herself tighter. “That’s what I want, yes.”

  He was in front of her in two big strides, arms curling around her like iron bands. “Bullshit. You don’t want that. I know you don’t. Tell me what the hell’s going on, Darcey.”

  He wouldn’t let her free when she tried to shove him away. The way he felt up against her—his scent, his warmth—it was too much.

  “You knew what I wanted when we started this. You said you were okay with it,” she rasped.

  “Well, I’m not okay with it now,” he rumbled.

  “You have to be.” She forced herself to meet his intense stare. “Joe.” He flinched when she said his name, and it killed her. “Me? This? Nah.” She shook her head. “Serious isn’t your thing, and we both know it. It was fun, but we need to end it before it’s not fun anymore, right?”

  He stilled, every muscle locking tight. “Fun?”

  She swallowed the rock lodged in her throat. “You’re not this guy. You must be missing the clubs with Adam, the…”

  “Hooking up with random women?”

  Now it was her turn to flinch.

  “Is that what you really want, Peaches?”

  His voice was broken, bitter, and she hated it. Hated that she’d hurt him.

  “You want me to go out and fuck the first piece of ass that offers?”

  “We were…” She had to clear her throat to force the lies out. “We were never in a relationship, Joe. We were just two screwed up people fucking to pass the time. That’s all.”

  “That’s how you really feel?”

  His eyes were as dark as coal, locked on hers, searching for the truth in her words.

  “Yes.” She shoved at his chest, but still, he wouldn’t let her go.

  He spun suddenly and pushed her against the wall. His mouth barely an inch from hers. He didn’t kiss her, though. And God her lips ached, tingled with the desperate need to feel his mouth on hers. Instead, he slid his nose along hers, his big body surrounding her. All that hard strength holding her where he wanted her. She was seconds away from giving in, from confessing all. She couldn’t take much more.

  But she kept her mouth shut. She had Noah to think about, and she couldn’t trust Joe not to do something rash and put himself in danger. She’d made the right decision.

  He nuzzled the side of her throat, breath coming in rough pants.

  Oh God.

  Darcey kept her hands down, pressed against the wall at her back, when all she wanted to do was grab on to him and never let go.

  They stayed like that for the longest time—neither one speaking. Then suddenly, he let her go.

  He stepped back and, without another word, he turned and walked out the door, slamming it hard enough to rattle the windows.

  He was gone.

  It was over.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Joe flicked on the lights and walked across the concrete garage floor, dragging off his shirt as he went. Throwing it on the closest car, he went at the punching bag hanging in the corner like a man possessed. Knuckles bare, he pounded the worn leather hard enough each blow jarred his entire body. He kept at it until the only sound he could hear in the empty space was his grunts and rasped breaths. Until all he could feel was the sting and throb of his split knuckles as each blow connected. Desperate to drown out Darcey’s words, her rejection.

  Serious isn’t your thing and we both know it.

  Yeah, he was the life of the fucking party.

  We were just two screwed up people fucking to pass the time. That’s all.

  Good enough to pass the time with, but nothing more.

  He’d left her place, near out of his
damn mind. Angry, so fucking angry. With her, with himself. He’d fucked things up between them, and he had no idea how. Maybe he was the clueless clown his family always thought he was. He’d missed something, something so important she’d felt the need to cut him loose.

  He smashed his fist into the bag.

  He fucking loved her. But it didn’t matter. None of it mattered.

  “Joe.” Hugh’s voice echoed behind him, loud, concerned.

  Joe ignored him and fired another shot.

  His brother touched his shoulder. “Joe, fuck, man. What’s going on?”

  “Go. I’ll be fine tomorrow.” It was a massive fucking lie. He wouldn’t be fine tomorrow, but he’d have the mask firmly back in place. Rage swelled through him. He’d bottle that shit up like he bottled everything else up, plaster a smile on his face and carry the fuck on. Like he always did.

  When his old man kept leaving then finally left them for good. When they found out about the debts he’d left behind, and Hugh had no choice but to become a motherfucking thief to keep the roof over their heads. When Joe had been forced to stand back and do nothing, too young to help his family.

  He slammed his fist into the bag again and again.

  His brother’s massive arms came around him, and he was wrenched away and shoved against the wall.

  Hugh’s face filled his vision. “What the fuck’s going on?”

  Joe tried to shove him away, but the big bastard was an immovable object. “I don’t need you to rescue me, big brother. Just back the fuck off.”

  Hugh scowled, but Joe could see he was worried. Dammit, he’d taken over the debt so he never had to see that look on his brother’s face again. He couldn’t even do that right.

  “What the hell are you talking about?” Hugh growled.

  Joe shoved again, and this time, Hugh stepped back.

  “Ignore me.” He dragged his forearm across his sweaty face. “I’m just having a shitty day.”

  “You have a shitty day, you have an extra beer, watch some TV, go for a run. You don’t pound a punching bag until you’ve torn your fucking knuckles open.”

  Joe glanced down, surprised when he saw blood dripping from the ends of his fingers and onto the floor. “Just leave it.”

  “No. I’m not gonna leave it. Not anymore. Something's been up with you for the last few weeks, and I want to know what.”

  Hugh was a stubborn bastard at the best of times, but tonight, Joe knew his brother wasn’t walking out of here until he’d revealed his goddamn soul. The line of Hugh’s hard jaw told him that much.

  Joe was pissed—fucking furious—and right then, just this once, he wanted to tell his brother everything, lay all his shit on the guy’s Hulk-like shoulders and let him deal with the mess. Walk away and never look back. Be the selfish, self-centered clown they thought he was.

  But he couldn’t, wouldn’t, do that to him.

  That wasn’t Joe. It had never been him. They just didn’t know it. And that stung like fuck.

  He rested his bleeding hands on his hips, holding his brother’s hard stare. “I was seeing someone. Now I’m not.”

  “You got dumped?” The frown dropped and he looked relieved. “That’s what this is about? Jesus, Joe. I thought something really bad had happened.”

  Joe almost launched himself at the guy. “Leave before I smash your face in.”

  “What?”

  “You heard me, you arrogant motherfucker.”

  “Are you on drugs or some shit?”

  Joe dragged in a steadying breath. “Is it so hard to believe I could actually care for someone? That I’m capable of taking one fucking thing seriously?”

  Hugh blinked like Joe had told him he had an extra toe. “You have real feelings for this girl?”

  “If by feelings, you mean the way you feel about Shay? Then yeah, I have feelings for the girl.”

  “I didn’t…” Hugh took a step toward him. “I didn’t realize you were seriously seeing someone.”

  Fuck it. “It’s Darcey.”

  “Who?”

  “Al Ramirez’s niece, the one that stitched us up.” Hugh’s mouth opened, ready to start yelling the garage down, but Joe talked over him before he could start his rampage. “There’s a reason she did what she did, a fucking good one.”

  Then he kept on talking. Hugh listened while he told him about Noah, about her reasons for getting in their way, how she was connected to the Ramirez family. Of course, he left out the part about the debt Joe now owed and that she’d been helping him.

  When he finished, Hugh looked shell-shocked and worried as hell.

  “Does Al know?”

  “He’s dead.”

  His brother’s mouth dropped open. “Dead? When? Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Didn’t want to speak that asshole’s name. You’ve got your happy ending, brother. I didn’t want to rain on your parade.”

  Joe rubbed the back of his neck. Neither of them were good at the whole heart-to-heart thing. They didn’t talk about their feelings. And now that he had, he was starting to feel awkward as fuck. He just wanted a hot shower and to wallow in peace.

  Joe shrugged. “Anyway, now you know.”

  “There’s no chance of you patching things up?”

  He wished that was the case, but Darcey had been as cold as stone. Yeah, there’d been regret in her eyes, and he’d felt her heart going a hundred miles an hour when he’d pinned her to the wall, desperate to feel her against him one more time. But she didn’t feel the same way he did, and as much as he wanted to, he couldn’t force her to love him.

  He shook his head.

  Hugh walked over and smacked his back. “Well, I’m sorry then. I know how hard that is.”

  Yeah, he did. But the difference was, in the end, Hugh had gotten the girl.

  Joe had to figure out how to walk around for the rest of his life with a giant crater in his chest.

  ~ * ~

  “You find it?” Jacob called down the basement stairs.

  “Yeah.” Darcey crouched down behind the washing machine and scowled at the stupid pipe. Seriously? A loose pipe. How can a man be this goddamn clueless? Joe wouldn’t need to call a plumber for something so ridiculously easy. A kid could have worked it out. She reattached the pipe, screwed it back in place, and stood.

  “Just a loose washing machine pipe,” she called back.

  Picking up her toolbox, she headed back up the stairs.

  Jacob shook his head when she reached the top, taking the toolbox from her hand before heading for the front door.

  “Hey, I can carry that.”

  He grunted. “I know you can. You look tired is all.”

  “I’m fine,” she grumbled. It was a lie, of course. She wasn’t fine. She was heartbroken, devastated, hollow, and even those words didn’t adequately describe how she was feeling. There were no words for the pain she’d been suffering since Joe walked out her door. And now she was an insomniac to boot.

  “Come and take a load off, girl.” Jacob opened the tailgate of his truck and rested his butt on it. “We’ll break for lunch here then head to the next job.”

  She shrugged and grabbed her bag from the front and settled in beside him. They ate in silence. It was a beautiful day. This part of the city was nice. Quiet. Big lawns where you could have a dog if you wanted. A place where you could put down roots and be a family. The kind of home she could never give her kid brother.

  What the hell was she going to do? She’d been searching for a new job, but so far she’d had no luck—unless she wanted to take up stripping or maybe become a high-class call girl. She didn’t want to leave Jacob. Despite the often gross aspects of her job, she liked what she did, liked that she wasn’t stuck indoors all day.

  “So I was thinking,” Jacob said beside her.

  She took a sip from her water bottle and turned to him. “Hell, should I duck for cover?”

  “Smartass.”

  “True. But you love me, anyway,” she
teased.

  His eyes went soft, bushy eyebrows lowering before he fixed his stare on her. “Despite your use of the L word just now.” He snorted and grinned. “I know you hate the mushy stuff, so I’m just gonna talk and you’re gonna listen.”

  She stilled. “Jacob, what’s…?”

  “Listen, not start yapping.”

  When she kept her trap shut, he nodded.

  “Thank you.” He crossed his arm over his chest and took a sip of his coffee. “Me and Faye, you know we weren’t blessed with kids. I think if we’d been given a daughter, she would’ve been a lot like you. Tough. A hard worker. A goddamn smartass with a heart of gold. That’s you, Darcey girl. I’m not good with words, but that’s how I see you. And I care about you.”

  Ah hell, the backs of her eyes were stinging. She cared about him, too. Loved him like a father. But all she could manage was, “Same here.”

  “I said no talking.”

  “Right.” She bit her lip.

  “If I’d had kids, I would’ve had them working with me, and one day, I would have passed on this business to them. And since you’re the closest thing I got to a daughter…” He glanced over at her. “I want you to take over soon, make what you will outta this business.”

  “Jacob… no, I couldn’t…”

  “I can do what I damn well like. I want you to be my partner to start with, until I’m ready to retire, then it’s yours. I’ve been coasting, doing as little as possible, if you want to know the truth. We could increase our workload immediately, put you up to full-time. At the moment, I’m turning down more jobs than I take. That means more money, so we can expand, maybe hire a couple new guys when we need to. If that’s what you want, we’ll do it, but you’ll be the one doing the hard yards. I’m too old to be shimmying up and down drain pipes—”

  She cut him off by throwing her arms around his neck. His thermos cup full of coffee hit the ground since she’d knocked it out of his hand. He didn’t seem to care, though, and hugged her back, patting her shoulder awkwardly.