Perilous Poetry

by Kym Roberts

  Are we on for your lesson in the morning?

  Defense tactics with Mateo. Fuzz buckets. I’d completely forgot about them when I’d made plans to go canoeing with my dad.

  I can’t. I told Dad I’d go canoeing.

  I’ll drop by around lunch.

  Did that mean he was coming to see me or he was wanting to do defense tactics? I texted back. See you then. Night.

  Sweet dreams, Charli Rae.

  I put my phone down. The man was going to drive me insane. I didn’t want to have sweet dreams. Sweet dreams led to reckless behavior. At least for me it did.

  Princess scratched to go back outside and I let her go. I knew she’d be back in two minutes after she completed her business. How my dad had ended up house training an armadillo was a mystery to me. But I wasn’t complaining.

  I brushed my teeth and put on my PJs, realizing that it was still way too early to go to bed. I picked up my iPad and downloaded several songs about love and heartache—the standard country music themes. Then I let the music play while I opened up my Kindle app and started reading a dystopian novel about women being denied equality and forced into servitude when the United States government fell.

  I woke up with a crick in my neck and a hand on my shoulder. I let out a roar, raised my right arm to block, and balled my left fist.

  “You’re not going to hit your old dad, are you?”

  “Oh, for crying out loud, Daddy. I almost took off your head.”

  “I’m kind of attached to it; I hope you’ll leave it in place.”

  “Funny. What are you doing here in the middle of the night?”

  “It’s seven o’clock in the morning.”

  “What?” I looked around frantically. “Where’s Princess?”

  “I found her in the store. She wasn’t very happy about sleeping downstairs.” Princess peeked around my dad’s leg.

  “Oh, baby I’m so sorry.” I reached for her but Princess huffed and walked toward her food bowl. The only thing that saved her was the pet door in the back of the barn. Otherwise she would have spent the night outside. I shivered with guilt, but Daddy didn’t seem to think any worse of me.

  “Another night on the couch reading?”

  My iPad lay at my feet giving away my secret…or rather what I thought had been my secret. “Maybe.” I picked it up and stretched my back. My neck cracked this way and that.

  “It sounds like you need a chiropractor.”

  “Only if I wanted to do that for the rest of my life. Canoeing will work out any kinks. Let me go change. I’ll be ready in just a few minutes.”

  Ten minutes later, Princess had been fed and I came out of the bedroom with my hair in a ponytail, wearing rain pants and a rain jacket with duck boots on my feet. Dad looked at my outfit. “Are you planning on getting wet?” he asked.

  “The idea is that my clothes will stay dry underneath this.”

  “If we tip, they’re not gonna stay dry.”

  “Are you planning on dumping this canoe?” I shivered thinking about how cold the water would be.

  “I’m saying you’re a little rusty. You never know what will happen.”

  “I went canoeing on rapids in Colorado. We aren’t going to tip.” I didn’t tell him that I’d only gone a couple of times in the past twelve years.

  We made our way outside with Princess trailing behind us. “You’re not going to let her come, are you?” I asked.

  “She always goes canoeing with me.”

  “You can’t be serious. What if we tip over?”

  Daddy grinned as we walked across the sparsely covered lawn. “I thought you said we weren’t going to tip?”

  “Well, we’re not but…”

  “Then let’s go. Princess would have a cow if we left her behind.”

  We grabbed life jackets from the shed and put them on. Dad put his phone in a baggie with a little floaty attached, but I’d left mine behind in the apartment.

  I looked down at the expectant armadillo standing in between us as we tightened our life jackets. “Do you have a floaty for Princess?”

  “If Princess goes overboard, she’ll sink to the bottom and walk to shore.”

  “She can do that?” I asked.

  “If it’s a short distance. If we’re in a wide spot, she’ll dog paddle.”

  “But she’s too heavy!”

  “She weighs eight pounds.”

  I was pretty sure Dad hadn’t weighed her lately. The vet said she was pushing twelve. Maybe she did need to go on a diet. “Still, how will she make it across the river?”

  “She’ll gulp air into her intestines to make her more buoyant.”

  “She won’t know to take a breath as we’re going over.” I reached down to scratch between her ears and she ran for the water’s edge.

  “Quit worrying. Armadillos aren’t chickens trying to cross road when it comes to river crossings.”

  I hoped Princess wouldn’t be like an armadillo crossing the road, either. Most of the time they ended up as road pizzas.

  We unhooked the canoe from the fence, grabbed the two paddles, and made our way down to the river.

  “Do you mind if I take the rear?” I asked.

  “Are you up for it?”

  “Now’s as good a time as any to find out.”

  Dad scratched the back of his neck, smiled, and let out a heavy sigh. “I reckon so.”

  Under his breath, I heard him mutter that he really hadn’t planned to get wet. I would’ve laughed except my own insecurities wouldn’t let me guarantee that I was going to keep him dry. Princess began running circles around my feet while squeaking up a storm.

  “I told you she wouldn’t let you leave her behind.”

  Once the canoe was in the water, I picked her up and set her down in the middle. She immediately ran for the front and stood on her back legs, with her front claws resting on the bow. If she could pant, she’d look like Max on the front of the Grinch’s sleigh, minus the deer antler. Dad waded into the water and hopped in the front like a pro while I held the back of the canoe. I launched us off, wobbling a little bit as I pulled myself over the side.

  I’m sure my dad’s shoulders were shaking from laughter and not the rocking of the canoe.

  The river was higher than normal, but that just meant we wouldn’t run across any rough spots where we had to drag the canoe. It also meant we might finish a little early. It really didn’t matter, because I was out on the river with my dad, surrounded by nothing but trees beginning to change color, rock cliffs that had been turned into waterfalls from the additional runoff from the rain, and the calming sound of the water lapping against the canoe. It was paradise.

  “You know it’s not supposed to be me in this canoe with you,” he said.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about, old man. Let’s get this show on the road, otherwise we won’t make it back in time to open the store. How are we getting back?” I asked.

  “Mateo called, he said he’d pick us up on the far side of the overpass near Enchanted Rock. He wanted to talk to us about something.”

  So much for those sweet dreams I had last night about him stopping by today. I sighed and let go of thoughts of anyone but my dad and Princess, so I could just enjoy the morning in my new canoe. Looking at Princess circling around inside the canoe without a life jacket on, however, made me feel guilty. The standard orange flotation device around my neck felt too tight. Almost strangling the life right out of me…then again that could have been my guilty conscience talking. It was like I was making a cognizant decision to choose my life over hers. Which is what you’re supposed to do—put human life first. Yet I couldn’t help wondering how my life was more important than hers. I was taking undue risks with the life of a creature too dumb to stay on shore where she’d be safe. All because she wanted to be with us
.

  I glanced down the river. The moss-colored water flowed smoothly, splashing against the rocks without spraying. My dad calmly paddled, enjoying nature, and wasn’t the least bit encumbered by his life jacket. While I didn’t seem able to move or breathe.

  I quickly slipped the life jacket off and placed it at my feet without my dad becoming aware of what I had done. Princess squawked, but then climbed on top of it, circled around, and lay down like any dog would to take a nap.

  I smiled. Now I could buckle it closed if we went toward rough water. I wasn’t kidding myself about the intelligence of my actions. It was beyond stupid, but the guilt was going to ruin my first canoe trip with my dad in over twelve years. Taking off the life jacket would allow me to enjoy the trip…and it gave Princess a bed to sleep on.

  I knew my dad would lecture me until the end of the day and back to dawn once he turned around and saw my yellow rain slicker in all its glory without an orange life jacket covering half of it. I’d have to deal with it when it happened.

  “What do you know about Delbert and Marvin Perkins, Dad?”

  “I think Marvin has been to town a couple times, but he’s kind of like his brother, Delbert, he keeps to himself for the most part. I think Marvin may be more successful than Delbert, but I don’t think he ever married either. Why do you ask?”

  “I was just wondering if Marvin could be a suspect in his brother’s death. He did buy Lucy Barton’s book yesterday.”

  “Lucy Barton is the number one best-selling mystery author. She appeals to men and women of all ages. The man needs something to occupy his time while his brother’s remains are cremated. I don’t think coming into our store and buying a book makes a man guilty of killing his brother. Besides, the method of Delbert’s death hasn’t been released to the media. If Marvin committed the murder, do you really think he’d be caught dead anywhere near a Lucy Barton book?”

  I capitulated and we continued our peaceful journey downriver. He was right. Only an idiot would buy a Lucy Barton book for everyone to see if he was the real killer.

  The river wound this way and that with incredible views. Trees hung over the edge of the water, and rock created ledges we could travel under. Several times I ran my hands across the almost white-colored rock, loving the feel of being home. After a short time, Princess stood up and left her perch. Her toenails clicked against the fiberglass bottom as she waddled toward the front and began rooting through my bag for something to eat.

  “I didn’t bring you any meal worms, girl.”

  Princess looked at me and tweaked her ears. Her nose twitched and she let out a huff that was more like a snort.

  “Do you think she understands us?” I asked my dad.

  “I think man is arrogant in general. To believe we are the only ones who can communicate is a little self-absorbed. Animals may not have the capacity to do quantum physics, but how many people can?”

  He had a point. If I’d taken quantum physics in college, I would’ve quit. Even philosophy was enough to make my eyes cross.

  “You’re telling me that if a tree fell in the woods and no one was there, it actually would make a noise because the animals would hear it?”

  I could hear the smile in my dad’s voice. “My point exactly. We’re not the only ones on this Earth with an understanding of how things work.”

  Maybe getting older was helping me understand philosophy a little more. I might get above a C in the class if I enrolled in it now.

  After a while, I lost track of time amid the peaceful surroundings. We paddled lightly, enjoying the scenery and not really talking a whole lot beyond directions we needed to go when the waterway would split and, “There’s a rock up ahead.” It was only when my stomach growled that I noticed the time—we had somehow dillydallied enough to be late.

  “We’re late.”

  “What? That’s impossible.” Dad looked over his shoulder and for the first time noticed my lack of life jacket. His brow furrowed until he saw Princess sleeping on top of it. “You’re lucky our endpoint is right around the bend, otherwise we’d be having a serious discussion about using at least half your brain while canoeing.”

  I laughed as he turned around and tried to get us to the end of the trip faster. We cleared the turn and the river widened into a calm body of water, more like a lake than a river. During the summer months, this area was full of swimmers. Today the only people in view were inside the cars crossing the overpass and standing outside the patrol car parked on the gravel landing next to the bridge. Mateo was leaning against the hood of the vehicle, wearing dark sunglasses despite the cloudy morning, as he watched our approach.

  I smiled and waved at about the same time we heard tires screech on the bridge. Princess jumped at my feet as metal screamed against the concrete walls. I grabbed for her as I caught a glimpse of a red pickup truck speed away and a semi slam into the railing and jackknife. The seventy-thousand-pound vehicle lost its trailer as it slid down the middle of the bridge. In what seemed like slow motion, the trailer began to topple over the edge. Princess jumped out of my hands toward the water and I grabbed for her, attempting to clutch her little body to my chest. But before I knew it, I was falling with Princess in my grasp.

  Princess started clawing me as water surrounded us and as I tried to make my way to the surface, the canoe tipped over next to us. I caught a glimpse of an orange life jacket as something crashed into the river, filling my ears with a loud roar. A wave of water rushed over my head and tumbled me several times before I could find my bearings. My lungs started to burn and Princess panicked—tearing at my skin through my jacket that now felt more like a hundred-pound weight than a water barrier. Through the green muck, I could see long muscular bodies popping up everywhere. Surrounding me. Swirling in the dark water as if they were hunting. The water glistened on one ten feet away. It wasn’t human, like I’d first thought, it was armored and ancient. Prehistoric even, and I realized my worst fear had come true. I was in a pod of young alligators, or maybe it was a congregation of older ones waiting for the male dominant member to come in for the kill. I caught a glimpse of the light from the sky, right before it was blocked out by the shadow of something large—much bigger than me.

  I kicked my feet, but my wading boots made poor flippers. I could hear muffled voices coming from somewhere above me and wanted to scream out a warning, but I had no air. Nothing but the burning feeling of my need to breathe.

  I kicked harder, searching for a way out. When a pale face appeared in front of mine, his skin an eerie color, hair slightly swaying in the water, I screamed. Stupid move.

  Mateo grabbed me around the midsection with one arm and turned my back to his chest. With Princess held securely in my grasp, we surfaced and I sputtered and coughed as several items hit the top of my head and body. Princess snorted and I really hoped that was just water she sprayed in my face.

  “Take it easy. I got you,” Mateo’s warm voice assured me, but the cold temps had me shaking in my boots.

  Princess screamed a horrible noise and burst from my arms. I reached for her but missed as she scurried over the top of my head, getting momentarily stuck in my hair, before she leapt over Mateo’s shoulders into the water.

  I frantically looked around for Princess, twisting in Mateo’s grip.

  “Calm down, Charli.” Mateo’s voice was stern.

  “I’ve got Princess, Charli!” my dad yelled from waist-deep water near the river bank as he grabbed Princess from the water. His hair was wet and his clothes hung on his body, but he looked to be in one piece. And so did Princess. But they were still in danger…so were we.

  “Alli-alligators!” I sputtered as one surfaced next to me and I struck at its eyes.

  “Charli, they’re not real! They’re not real!” Mateo repeated as he grabbed the one I’d struck and shoved it under my arms.

  It…was…inflatable. Inflatable. />
  I relaxed and released a near hysterical laugh as I continued to cough and wipe the snot away from my nose before Mateo got a look at it. Only then, as I relaxed against the soft squishy pool toy, could I make sense of everything around me. A large gray cargo trailer stuck out of the river, the metal edges jagged, and the back doors flung wide-open. A little more than half of the company logo was visible in bold letters: Man-eater Po stuck out of the water. The rest was buried below the surface. But I knew the name. The truck belonged to Man-Eater Pool Toy Company, a line of pool toys made in Oak Grove. We were surround by inflatable alligators, sharks, killer whales, and stingrays—they came in all sizes. It was kind of fascinating, yet the most ridiculous thing I’d ever seen. That’s saying a lot for a woman who has a pink armadillo for a pet.

  “Did you see that red pickup truck right before the semi came over the side?” I asked as I coughed and sputtered more green water from my lungs.

  Mateo frowned. “No, I was too far under the bridge. Was it a hit-and-run?”

  “I don’t know. I just thought I saw a red truck right before the accident. Was there anyone in the semi-truck?”

  “Look up on the bridge. The driver’s watching us make our way through his…cargo.” Mateo shoved several floatables aside as he dragged my alligator toward shore and pulled me to my feet. Sure enough, up above us looking down at the scene of destruction, was a driver with his hands on top of his head.

  Cars were stopped and people were taking videos from the bridge.

  My dad chuckled and walked toward the patrol car. I pushed my hair out of my eyes and shivered.

  “Come on. I’ve got a thermal blanket in the car.”

  “What about my canoe? Do you know where it is?” There was a literal sea of creatures covering the surface of the water, with more popping out of the trailer every minute. My canoe could be anywhere.

  “Yeah, it’s by that…alligator over there.”

  “Funny,” I said as he put his arm around my shoulder and guided me to his patrol car. “How were you able to keep Dad from coming in after me?”