Wings of Love

by Scotty Cade

  When Brad looked at the TV again, the credits were rolling and he was feeling extremely drained. He reached over and touched Mac on the shoulder and whispered, “Mac, the show’s over. I’m going to bed.”

  “Oh, okay, sorry. I must have dozed off.”

  “No problem,” Brad said. “I’ll see you in the morning. And, Mac, thanks again for everything.”

  “Don’t mention it,” Mac replied. “Good night, Brad.”

  “Night, Mac.”

  Mac stretched as he watched Brad walk up the stairs to the guest room. He felt for the guy. He knew exactly what he was going through, and that made his heart ache for him. He remembered going to bed alone those first weeks after Lindsey died, and the emptiness and loneliness he’d felt. But if he was honest with himself, he also had to admit that he was drawn to Brad in a way he’d not ever experienced with another man. He didn’t know if it was because they shared a similar situation—having lost a spouse—or if it was something more.

  Mac turned off the television, gathered the empty beer bottles, and put them in the trash. He shut off the lights and started up the stairs. When he got in front of the guest room, he stopped and listened for a second, but heard nothing and continued on to his room. Good, he thought. I hope he’s able to sleep.

  Early next morning, Mac was already dressed and sipping a cup of coffee when he heard Brad in the shower. When Brad came down, Mac was pouring him a cup of joe.

  “Morning,” Mac said. “What do you take in your coffee?”

  “Good morning,” Brad replied. “Just a little cream or milk, if you’ve got it.”

  “Got it,” Mac said as he poured some cream into Brad’s coffee cup and handed it to him.

  “Thanks.”

  “Sleep okay?” Mac asked.

  “So-so. I haven’t slept much since Jeff died.”

  “Yeah, I remember the feeling,” Mac said. “And I know you can’t imagine it now, but it does get better.”

  “I’ll take your word for it,” Brad replied.

  “Would you like some breakfast?” Mac asked.

  “No thanks, not much of a morning eater,” Brad replied. “Coffee’s plenty.”

  “Okay, but you’re missing out on my scrambled eggs. I don’t like to brag, but they’re pretty famous in these parts,” Mac said.

  “I’ll take your word for that too,” Brad said as he handed his coffee cup to Mac. “But I will take a refill for the road, if it’s not too much trouble.”

  “No trouble at all. What’s the plan?” Mac asked.

  “Well, let’s see. What time do we need to take off?”

  “We need to be ready to go by eleven o’clock,” Mac replied.

  “Okay,” Brad said. “That gives us a couple of hours. I don’t have any of my tools here, so do you think we should head to the home improvement store first, get the things on our list and some tools? Or I’m debating if I should fly back to Seattle, get my car and some tools and whatever else we may need.”

  “You could certainly do that,” Mac said. “But think about this: I have every hand and power tool ever made, so we could start with mine, see exactly what we’re dealing with, then if we need other stuff and you have it, you could fly back to Seattle and drive it up to Anchorage.”

  “That sounds like a perfect plan to me,” Brad said. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

  And with that, Mac and Brad were on their way. They stopped at the hardware store and then drove right to Lake Hood. The passengers that Mac was flying to the lodge arrived on time, and by ten minutes after eleven, they were in the air.

  Chapter 9

  THEY successfully landed at Hiline Lake on schedule and, as usual, were met by Jake and Zander. The passengers were escorted to the lodge, and Mac and Brad secured the plane. Brad and Mac headed for the cabin to meet Seth. Since there was no mortgage company involved, the closing consisted of a bill of sale and a deed. They met Seth as planned, explained that there would be two buyers instead of one, signed the documents, and gave him the two checks. Within five minutes, Mac and Brad were the proud owners of a new cabin—a fun project for Mac but the start of a new life for Brad.

  The two men, happy as clams, went from room to room making notes of what was needed to make repairs and prepare the cabin for the winter. While they worked, they exchanged a comfortable banter about any number of topics, including sports, Brad’s naiveté about his first winter at Hiline Lake, and of course, Mac’s flyboy attitude about everything. When they were through inspecting the inside, they headed outside to do the same. Besides a few missing roof shingles, some chinking repairs, and rotten floorboards on the porch, the outside of the cabin had held up remarkably well, but the grounds were a different story. The entire two-acre lot was completely overgrown and needed a lot of clearing. They decided to start their attack on the brush and ground cover immediately surrounding the cabin and work their way out from there. Next, they would start topping the trees in front of the porch, which would significantly enhance their one-hundred-and-eighty-degree views. They both agreed that, next spring, there was a lot that could be done to improve the overall look and functionality of the cabin, but they could do it at their own pace.

  Once back inside, they took inventory of pillows, blankets, and sheets, then moved to the kitchen and did the same with pots, pans, flatware, dishes, et cetera. Since there was limited electricity, no telephone lines, and no cell phone service, they determined that they would need a battery-operated AM/FM radio, a reliable weather radio, and an AC/DC battery-operated VHF radio. By late afternoon, they felt pretty good about their list and their plan of attack.

  “Hey, Brad, you wanna flip a coin for the bedroom?” Mac asked.

  “Na,” Brad replied. “I hate sleeping in lofts, so the bedroom’s all yours, unless you want the downstairs bed.”

  “Nope, I’ll take the loft; I can sleep anywhere,” Mac answered.

  Brad walked out onto the porch and leaned against the porch rail. He looked off into the distance and thought about Jeff. It had been about three hours since he’d signed the bill of sale and his last thought of Jeff. That was probably a record, and he felt a little guilty. As he stared out into the wilderness at the snow-capped mountains, he wondered what Jeff would think of his decision to buy this place. He was lost in thought when he jumped at the sound of his name.

  “Brad! You okay?” Mac asked.

  “Oh, sorry, I was just thinking about Jeff and what he would think of this venture,” Brad said.

  “Well,” Mac said, “he loved it up here, and you guys seemed to have a great adventure every time you came, so my guess is that he would be very happy for you.”

  “You think so?” Brad asked through quivering lips. He turned away just before a single tear slid down his cheek and he began to sob.

  “Yeah, I do, Brad.”

  Suddenly Mac had this overwhelming need to comfort his friend. He reached out, put his arms around Brad, and held him while he cried. When Brad’s emotions were under control, Mac released him and began to pull away. In the process, he stopped and looked Brad in the eyes. They held each other’s gazes for a moment, and in that instant, Mac saw all the pain and loneliness Brad was feeling. Mac wasn’t sure what was drawing him to Brad, but he leaned in and was about to kiss him when, shocked, he caught himself and stopped. Surprised by his desire, he immediately pulled away, shook his head, and walked back into the cabin.

  What the hell was that? he thought as he sank down on the couch. One minute I was reassuring the guy, and the next I was about to kiss him. Where in the hell did that come from?

  Chapter 10

  BRAD stood frozen and alone where he and Mac had embraced just moments ago. Until Mac, red-faced and notably shaken, had abruptly turned and walked into the cabin. Was Mac about to kiss me? No, it must be my imagination. Mac is straight. I need to get a grip. He was just being supportive.

  Brad took a few more minutes to get it together and walked into the cabin. Mac was sitting o
n the couch, still looking a little nervous.

  “Hey buddy,” Brad said. “I’m starved. What say we head back down to the lodge, grab an early dinner, get a good night’s sleep, and get an early start tomorrow?”

  “Sounds like a plan,” Mac replied. “I don’t have passengers to take back tomorrow morning, so we can leave as early as we want to.”

  Brad and Mac closed up the cabin and drove back to the lodge. They ordered burgers and beer and made their plan of attack for the next day. They would fly out at first light, head over to Mac’s house, and while Brad went to the home improvement store, Mac would pack up all the tools he thought they might need. If all went as planned, they would land back at the lake by two o’clock, and after unloading and securing the plane, be at the cabin no later than three o’clock.

  When the food came, they ordered another round of beer and ate mostly in silence. Brad thought that Mac seemed a little nervous and uncomfortable, but didn’t want to say anything in case he was simply imagining it. When they finished eating, Mac stood and said, “I’m beat, I think I’ll turn in. How about we take off around eight?”

  Brad stood as well and said, “Sure, eight’s fine. Good night, Mac, see you in the morning.”

  “Good night,” Mac said with a halfhearted smile, and he turned and walked away.

  Brad watched Mac until he disappeared around a corner. He knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep, so he sat back down and ordered another beer.

  While he drank his beer, he kept replaying that strange embrace in his mind. Mac had hugged him once or twice since he’d showed up at the lake, but this embrace had felt different somehow. The look in Mac’s eyes had been so intense and the way he’d pulled back so quickly and fled…. Is Mac struggling with something? Brad tried to come up with a scenario that might explain Mac’s behavior. Maybe while trying to comfort me, he was reliving his wife’s death. After all, they’d been through the same experience, losing their spouses. That’s got to be it. How could I have been so selfish? I never once thought about how he must be feeling, going through this with me. I’ll do better tomorrow. No more breakdowns in front of him. No more sad stories.

  Brad downed the last of his beer and headed to the front desk. Before he got there, he ran into Zander in the hall, so he told him that tonight would be his last night at the lodge, as he planned on moving into the cabin tomorrow, and he needed to settle his bill. Zander congratulated him again on the purchase as they walked together to the front desk. He assured Brad that they would see a good bit of each other in the future.

  Brad made his way to his room, packed his bags, took a quick shower, and crawled into bed. He read until he got sleepy and then turned out the light. As he drifted off to sleep, his last thoughts were of Jeff.

  MAC lay awake in bed, tossing and turning, getting more frustrated by the minute. After an hour of trying to fall sleep, he finally gave up. He got out of bed, got a drink of water, sat in the chair, turned on the reading light, and opened a book. He was reading the same paragraph for the third time when he heard a door close. His room was right next to Brad’s, so he knew it was Brad turning in. He closed his book and rested his head on the back of the chair. His thoughts went immediately back to Brad. Man, I hope he didn’t realize I was about to kiss him. Oh crap, I almost kissed him. He had never consciously thought about Brad in that way—not any guy, for that matter—but it was hard to deny the instant need he’d had to take the pain away when he looked into Brad’s eyes.

  Okay, Mac, your brain is on overload. You can’t keep this up. You need sleep. Besides, it was probably a one-time thing anyway. Quit overanalyzing. You just hopped onto the emotional rollercoaster that Brad was on. It wasn’t that long ago when you were on the same ride. You remember what is was like, and you were just reacting, that’s all.

  Hoping like hell his rationalization worked, he turned off the reading light and got back into bed for the second time in one night. He decided then and there that he wasn’t getting up again, and damn it, he was going to sleep. And he did.

  Chapter 11

  AT SEVEN o’clock the next morning, Mac walked into the dining room and was greeted by a smiling Brad, sitting at the breakfast table and sipping a cup of coffee.

  “I was wondering if you were ever going to get up,” Brad said.

  “Good morning to you too,” Mac replied. “And just for the record, it’s only seven o’clock.”

  Smiling, Brad said, “I’ve been up since four o’clock. It’s a beautiful morning and looks like great flying weather.”

  “Are you always this chipper in the morning?” Mac asked.

  “Nope, I’m pretty subdued this morning.”

  “Oh man, thanks for the warning,” Mac shot back.

  Zander came out of the kitchen carrying a pot of hot coffee.

  “Morning, Mac,” he said from the swinging doors.

  “What does a guy have to do to get some breakfast around here?” Mac asked.

  “Order it,” Zander said.

  “Fine,” Mac said. “Why does everyone have to be a comedian?”

  Zander nudged Brad’s shoulder and said, “Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, yeah?”

  “Looks like it.” Brad chuckled.

  Mac ordered his breakfast, and Brad had another cup of coffee. The guys went over their plans once more and headed back to their rooms to get their stuff.

  Mac and Brad met at the front desk, where they turned in the keys and said their good-byes to Jake and Zander. Moments later they started for the dock where the plane was tied up.

  “Mac?” Brad said.

  “Yeah, Brad?”

  “Can I talk to you about something?”

  “Sure,” Mac said.

  “About last night,” Brad started.

  Mac mentally froze. Here it comes. I’m so busted, he thought.

  Brad continued, “I really appreciate your support, now and when I showed up here out of the blue. In many ways, I would have been lost without you taking me under your wing. But I think I owe you an apology.”

  “What for?” Mac asked hesitantly.

  “Well, I think I was so wrapped up in my own pity party that I never thought about how my situation might bring back a lot of raw memories for you. Last night, after I broke down yet again and you helped me through it, I looked at you and saw a lot of pain and confusion in your eyes. That’s when it hit me. I just wasn’t thinking clearly, and I’m really sorry.”

  By this time they had reached the plane. Mac put down his bag and released the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He turned to face Brad.

  “Look, Brad, you don’t owe me an apology. Sure, your situation brings back some painful memories for me, but I’m strong enough now to handle them. I’ve had many years to adjust to Lindsey’s death, and I’ve made my peace with it, just as you will with Jeff’s death.”

  “Thanks for saying that, Mac, but I just want you to know that I’m going to do a better job at pulling myself together.”

  Mac opened his mouth to speak, and Brad put his hand up.

  “Don’t say anything, Mac. Please let me finish. First of all, no one wants to listen to my sad stories all the time. Secondly, it’s time that I accept that Jeff is gone and start to deal with it. Yeah, I miss him, and it’s really tough, but I feel the closest to him here, and I am especially grateful for your friendship.”

  Brad stepped closer to Mac and put both arms on Mac’s shoulders and whispered, “I’m going to get my act together, I promise.”

  Where Mac had seen pain and hurt in Brad’s eyes last night, this morning he saw hope and gratitude. He couldn’t help himself; he pulled Brad into a hug and slapped his back a couple of times, then stepped back and said, “You’re welcome. Now can we just go? All this girl talk is making me uncomfortable.”

  “You’re a butthole,” Brad said with a sneer. “Let’s get this damn show on the road.”

  Brad had helped Mac get the plane ready to go several times
now, so they fell into an easy routine. As Mac went through his checklist, Brad loaded the bags into the rear compartment and started to untie the lines securing the plane to the dock. They finished about the same time, and Mac climbed in and started the engine. When the engine was warmed up, Brad untied the last remaining line, stepped on the pontoon, and hopped into the cockpit. He secured the door as they taxied into the middle of the lake and lifted off.

  It was an exceptional morning. The sky was bright blue, the air was smooth, and visibility was perfect. As usual, the noise in the cockpit didn’t allow for much conversation, and Mac was on the radio with the tower at Lake Hood on and off, changing routes and altitudes, so Brad sat back and enjoyed the flight. Fifty-five minutes later, they were on the ground in Anchorage. They secured the plane to the dock and headed for Mac’s truck. Brad drove and dropped Mac off at his house to start gathering tools, while he headed straight for the home improvement store. While en route, Brad had an astonishing thought: How are we going to use power tools? There was only limited solar power and a small generator to charge the battery packs in the event of no sun. This wilderness thing is going to take some getting used to, he thought. I’ll buy another larger generator for the power tools, and as long as I have the generator, why not buy a microwave oven? That’ll come in handy for my microwave popcorn, and oh, maybe an electric coffeemaker.

  Brad was still laughing at himself while he loaded the generator, microwave oven, and electric coffeemaker into the truck, along with the rest of the supplies he’d purchased. When he got back to Mac’s, there was a pile of hand and power tools in the driveway, along with six grocery bags, and Mac was coming out of the house with a cooler.