First Mates

by Cecelia Dowdy

  “Of course you would. That’s the way God made us. You’re thirty-five and it’s time you settled down and had a family.”

  “Well, after seeing Uncle Greg tonight, I don’t know if I can do that.”

  “What does Greg have to do with your getting married?” She looked puzzled as she placed the sleeping cat on the floor. She then washed their dirty coffee cups and placed them in the dish rack.

  “Well, you know how I used to have a drinking problem.”

  “Yes?” She wiped her hands on a dish towel and rejoined him at the table.

  “Well, what if something bad happens and I started drinking again?” He gazed at the messy living room to emphasize his point. “I can’t expose my wife and children to this kind of behavior. It’s scary what alcohol can do to a person.”

  “You know me and Greg were never blessed with children, but you listen to me. You’re too levelheaded to allow this to happen to your family. I love Greg, but sometimes he can be so…impulsive. You’re not like that. I’m sure that your first birthday without Pam has been hard on you, and I’m sure you didn’t go out and drink yourself into oblivion.”

  “I didn’t. But I’m not going to say the thought didn’t cross my mind. It’s hard to stay away from alcohol when you’re hurting.”

  “I know, honey, I know.” When she gave him a brief hug, he sniffed her familiar jasmine perfume. “But you’re a strong Christian man. Since you gave up alcohol, you renewed your faith in the Lord, and that’s all you’re going to need to fight any of your ghosts from the past. I wish Greg had stopped and said a prayer when he lost his job, instead of running off to some bar.” She slapped her hand against the table. “Don’t let Greg’s actions ruin any happiness you might find for yourself.”

  Soon, the birds’ lilting cadence reminded him it was a new day. Warm fingers of sunlight brightened the kitchen. “I’ve got to leave to get ready for work.” He kissed her cheek as he left her home.

  Over the next few days, Winston spent a lot of time with his uncle Greg. He took him out to dinner and they had a long talk. They attended midweek church service, and they asked the reverend to say a special prayer for Greg’s job hunt. His uncle admitted to the depressed feeling he had when he discovered his unemployed status. “I just went to the bar, Winston. I’m sorry. I know it was wrong, but I did it anyway. I was just feeling so bad.”

  He was relieved Uncle Greg stayed sober for the next few days. He had a plan to follow—trying to find a job. “Who wants to hire a fifty-year-old man?” Greg grumbled.

  “Don’t be so discouraged, Uncle Greg. You’ve barely started looking for a job. Give it some time.” He hoped and prayed his uncle followed his advice.

  Winston thought about his uncle as he trudged to his car after work a few weeks later, throwing his briefcase in the back seat. The shaded parking garage barely deflected the Florida summer heat. He blasted his air conditioner as he drove to the parking attendant’s station. The attendant’s Jamaican accent echoed in the wide lot. “Have a nice weekend, Winston. Can’t believe you stayed this late on a Friday.”

  Grunting a response, Winston took his exit. As he drove home, he listened to the DJ on the radio spouting words of joy about the upcoming weekend. Tourists cluttered the streets, searching for the perfect way to spend their vacation. A dull ache clutched his gut when he drove past Rainy’s workplace. He still had not attempted to call or visit her since he’d witnessed his uncle in a drunken stupor.

  An hour later, he had changed into his old comfortable clothes and lay on the couch. He turned his TV on and flipped through the channels. Soon, he abandoned the remote and closed his eyes. Dreams of the kisses he’d shared with Rainy cluttered his mind. He tossed on the narrow couch as his heart continued to pound. Bang! He fell to the floor, bumping his arm against the coffee table. He clamped his mouth shut as he awakened.

  As he rubbed his arm, a soft tapping noise filtered through the living room. He sluggishly stood on his wobbly legs. He glanced at the clock and noticed it was almost 9:00 p.m. It took him a moment to realize the sound was coming from the front door. He shuffled to the entrance. “Deion, I’m tired and not in the mood for visitors.” He yanked the door open.

  “Rainy.” He clutched the door handle. She was wearing an enticing tangerine-colored dress, and her hair hung loosely around her shoulders. He longed to sift the tresses through his fingers. He lifted his hand toward her, but lowered it abruptly, quickly stepping away.

  He swallowed, trying to relieve his dry throat. “What are you doing here?”

  “Are you expecting your brother?”

  “How did you know where I lived?” He wanted to resist temptation while they were dating. So he always picked her up at her place and they frequented public places without coming to his house or hers.

  “We exchanged addresses on the cruise, remember?”

  Of course he remembered. Her address would be emblazoned in his mind forever. “Come in.” He touched her arm as she entered his home. She gazed around his darkened living room, surveying her surroundings. He looked around his house, wondering how it would look through the eyes of a newcomer.

  Newspapers were scattered on his floor. His scarred coffee table was decorated with dried rings of wetness from his drinking glasses. His living room furniture was old, but comfortable. A large color TV dominated the room. An old poinsettia plant was in the corner, dead.

  “You have a nice home.”

  “You think so?”

  She nodded. “It looks so comfortable.” She gazed at his worn couch.

  “You’re welcome to sit down.”

  She sat and crossed her long legs. He touched her arm again and relished the softness of her skin.

  “So, is Deion supposed to be coming by?” He gazed into the depths of her liquid brown eyes.

  “Um, no, I’m not expecting Deion. I just assumed you were him since he’s the only person that drops by uninvited.” He swallowed as sweat trickled down his forehead.

  “You look tired. Did I wake you up?” She frowned as she continued to look at him. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. Why do you ask?”

  She shrugged as she toyed with a tassel on his pillow. “You just seem upset.” They were quiet for several seconds.

  “Are you hungry?” His voice broke the thick silence engulfing the room. Before she could answer, her stomach growled, loud.

  They laughed, breaking the tense moment. “I guess that’s a yes. Did you want to order a pizza?”

  She nodded. They decided on an extra-large pizza with extra cheese, pepperoni and mushrooms. She touched his arm as he replaced the phone into the cradle after ordering the pizza. “I really wanted to talk to you.”

  Winston’s stomach growled. “I want to talk to you, too. How about we do that after we’ve eaten?”

  She chewed her lower lip and gazed at the TV. An old Good Times rerun played, and J.J. strutted onto the screen wearing bright red pajamas. She smiled, showing her perfect white teeth.

  She nodded. “Okay.”

  Minutes later, they entered the kitchen. “You know, I usually eat my dinner in the living room, in front of the TV. But since you’re my dinner guest, I’ll set the table.”

  As he placed the dishes on the table, she chopped vegetables for a salad. He fixed a pitcher of iced tea with lemons. His hunger for food consumed him, however, his need to be with Rainy, talking, laughing, was stronger than his craving for nourishment. Her back was turned toward him, and he was about to enfold her trim body in his arms when the doorbell rang, announcing the arrival of the pizza deliveryman.

  He returned to the kitchen moments later and placed the pie in the middle of the table. They sat and he pulled her slim brown hands into his. After he’d prayed over the simple meal, visions of their shared elaborate cruise dinners flashed through his mind. He pushed the memories aside as they enjoyed the pizza.

  “I’m so stuffed that I don’t think I could eat another bite,” she announce
d, placing her hand over her flat stomach. He poured more glasses of iced tea and carried them into the living room. An old rerun of The Jeffersons was playing on TV.

  She settled on the couch. “I feel so much better since I’ve eaten. I know you’re probably wondering why I’m here. I wanted to ask you a favor.”

  He raised his eyebrows, surprised. “A favor?”

  “Yes. You met a lot of people when you went to church with me.”

  He nodded. “It’s a nice congregation. Everybody is so friendly and it’s small. Large churches are nice, but I like the family feeling you get from a small church.”

  “Well, do you remember our conversation on the cruise?”

  “We had several conversations on the cruise.”

  “I’m talking about the conversation we had in the photo shop. Remember I told you about the youth financial seminars at Friendship Community Church? You offered to help me and I’d like to take you up on your offer.” She removed papers from her briefcase.

  “But?”

  She sighed. “I just wasn’t sure…”

  “You mean you weren’t sure if I still wanted to help you? When I make a promise, I try my best to keep it. I’m a man of my word, and I know the Lord doesn’t condone lying.”

  She dropped the papers, stood, and paced his carpeted floor. He muted the television. “You’re not being honest with me. What happened?” She gave him a frank, unwavering gaze as she returned to the couch. Before he could answer, she continued. “You don’t know how much I agonized and prayed about coming over here today.”

  “I can imagine you would pray about coming over here. You’re a spiritual woman, and you have a deep faith in the Lord. That’s one of the things I admire most about you.” He raised his hand, almost touching her hair, but he quickly lowered it and turned away.

  “Why can’t you look at me? What’s wrong with you? What’s wrong with me? When I didn’t hear from you over the past few weeks, I figured you were busy at your job or something. When you had that special picnic for me at the park and suggested we try to have a relationship, I thought you had a good idea.” She folded her arms. “We had a good time on the cruise, and for the two months afterward.” She gazed around his cluttered living room. “I was going to call tonight to see how you were. I don’t know if you’ve realized this about me, but I’m a direct person. If I have a problem, I go straight to the source, if that’s possible.” A car parked on the street, the grating motor and honking horn disturbing the silent room. “I know it’s forward of me to show up here, unannounced, but I wanted to know the truth, and I figured it was best if I came in person.”

  He nodded. “I can understand that.”

  “You remember I got scared on the cruise? I avoided you all day? Well, I was being childish, and I should’ve told you what was on my mind from the start. I’m telling you what’s on my mind now.”

  He nodded. “I appreciate your honesty.” He scooted closer to her and pried her hands apart. He took her hand and traced the faint lines in her palm. “I like you. While we were on the cruise, I thought we might begin seeing each other once we docked in Miami. We’ve had a wonderful two months together, but now I’m not so sure we should continue this relationship.”

  “Why?” He could barely hear her. He was so close to her that her light floral scent filled his nostrils. His heart was pounding for dear life, and he fought not to enfold this beautiful woman in his arms.

  He looked at the television. George Jefferson was yelling at Tom Willis. He recalled Uncle Greg’s drunken rage. He abandoned The Jeffersons and gazed at her again.

  She stood. “I guess I’d better leave.”

  “No, don’t leave. It’s so complicated.”

  “Did I imagine the chemistry we shared over the past few months?” She toyed with the strap of her leather purse.

  “No, you didn’t imagine that.” He took a deep breath.

  She sat down again as she continued to look at him. Her dark eyes were full of curiosity and he squirmed under her intense gaze. “You’re hiding something from me.”

  “Rainy—”

  She lifted her arm and pressed her palm toward his face in a stopping motion. “Don’t deny it! I know we’ve only known each other for a couple of months, but I can tell when you’ve got something on your mind. The last time you acted like this, you told me later about how you were sad since Pam died. Has that still been bothering you?” He shook his head. “Well, what is it?” She threw her hands up in the air, exasperated. “You don’t want to tell me?”

  “No. It’s something personal. I’m still struggling with it and I’m still praying about it. I’m sure if the time is right, I’ll tell you.”

  She bit her lower lip while looking perplexed. Her shoulders slumped as she gathered her financial seminar papers. “Does this have to do with your alcoholism? Did you turn to drink again?” She clutched the papers so hard that they wrinkled.

  He gazed at her, startled. He swallowed hard as words seemed to fail him. “Do you have so little faith in me? You’re accusing me of drinking?” She shrank from his intense gaze as she dropped the papers in her briefcase.

  “Maybe working together on this project is a bad idea. If I’ve upset you, then I’m sorry.”

  “Rainy, I don’t know if this will work or not.”

  “You’re talking about the youth seminars?”

  He shook his head. “I’m not sure if our dating would work. But I did give you my word to work on the youth financial seminars at the church, so I will do that. You’re my sister in Christ, and I think we should be friends for now, and see what happens after that.”

  She nodded. Her voice rang clear and strong as she outlined what the program entailed. They would work together for the next several Saturday mornings, educating the youth of Friendship Community Church about proper budgeting and financial skills.

  She stood and gathered her purse and her briefcase. “I guess I’ll be seeing you next Saturday morning for the seminar?”

  He nodded. “I’ll see you on Saturday.” He watched her as she walked out of his house and to her car. He parted his curtains and watched her taillights disappear as she drove away.

  Chapter Nine

  Rainy threw her briefcase and purse on her couch. Hot tears spilled from her eyes as she recalled her conversation with Winston. She got on her knees and leaned her elbows on the couch cushions. She issued a prayer, asking for guidance in her situation with Winston.

  When she stood on her shaky legs, her phone rang. She was tempted not to answer, but forced herself to lift the receiver. “Hello.”

  Sarah’s strong voice carried over the wire. “Lorraine Jackson, where have you been? Don’t you know it’s after midnight?”

  She gazed at her clock adorned with Roman numerals. It was 12:00 a.m. She plopped onto the couch and flipped the sandals off her feet. She wiggled her toes as she tried to relax. “You sound like you’re chastising me.”

  “Have you lost your mind? You were supposed to be here at nine-thirty tonight! We were supposed to watch videos and eat popcorn, remember?”

  Suddenly, she did remember. She was on her way to Sarah’s when she stopped at Winston’s. Once she saw him, all thought and logic had escaped her, and she abandoned her evening with Sarah. “I’m so sorry. I’ll make it up to you, though. Come by for lunch tomorrow.”

  Sarah didn’t respond for several seconds. Rainy closed her eyes and relished the silence. “You sound awful. What happened? I was about to call the police and hospitals. I was convinced you’d been in a car accident.”

  She sniffed and removed a tissue from the box on the coffee table. “I just need to sleep now. I don’t have energy to talk. Can you come by tomorrow around noon? We’ll talk then. We can fill Rachel in when she returns from visiting her sick grandmother on Sunday night.”

  “Okay, I’ll say a quick prayer for you tonight.”

  “Thanks. I think I’ll need one.”

  The next day she slept unti
l eleven o’clock. By the time she showered and changed, she heard Sarah’s hard knock on the door. When she opened it, Sarah greeted her with two large oily paper sacks. “You sounded terrible on the phone last night. So I figured you could use one of your favorite cheese steak sandwiches for lunch. I also brought fries and something special.” She scurried into the house, dropped the bags in the kitchen and returned to her car. Seconds later, she entered carrying a white bakery box.

  “I got your favorite white chocolate cheesecake from Marcel’s Bakery. I was fortunate to get it. It was the last one they had! I figured God wanted me to buy this cheesecake to cheer up my best friend.” Sarah’s brown eyes twinkled as she grinned. After she delivered the box to the kitchen table, she embraced Rainy. “Now, when we eat our lunch, you’ll need to tell me all about it.”

  Rainy opened a bag, and the strong smell of onions and fried meat filled the air. Her mouth watered and her stomach growled. After they sat at the table, Sarah said grace. As she tasted her sandwich, she noticed Sarah’s immaculate attire. She sported a casual cranberry dress and leather sandals. “You were just coming over to see me for lunch. There was no need for you to get gussied up.” She grinned before she bit into her sandwich.

  Sarah popped a fry into her mouth and gulped her soda before responding. “I have some other things to do this afternoon.”

  She continued to gaze at her friend. “What things? I get the feeling there’s a reason why you’re dressed like that.” She sniffed the air. “Plus you’re wearing that expensive perfume! Who are you trying to impress?”

  “Can’t you take a hint? I don’t want to talk about my plans for later.”

  “What plans? Did another guy answer your ad? Are you going to meet him this afternoon?”

  Sarah sighed as she pushed her sandwich aside. “Well…yes, I’m going to meet a guy this afternoon.”

  Rainy dipped her fry in a puddle of ketchup. “Well, what’s the big secret? I want details!” She popped the fry in her mouth and eagerly awaited Sarah’s response.