by Paul Langan
“Darce, you and me got to talk, but let’s save it for tomorrow. I think we all better get home before we get in more trouble,” Tarah advised, looking at Cooper, who was lost in his own thoughts. Watching him, Darcy thought he almost looked ashamed, as if he too had crossed a line he now regretted.
Together, they walked back to the grill, cleaned up the remaining food, and quietly left the park. Tarah led the way, making sure they walked slowly, careful not to attract the attention of the police who watched the remnants of the crowd dispersing from the fireworks show. Once the last of the police cars was behind them, everyone sighed, and Darcy turned to Troy, who had kept his distance from her during the entire walk.
“I’m sorry, Troy. It was an accident,” Darcy said, trying her best to look at him.
“Whatever,” he said bitterly.
In silence, they crossed several blocks and made their way through the neighborhood to Cooper’s old pickup truck. Without a word, Troy jumped in the back, while Tarah and Darcy sat inside with Cooper.
“Well, at least we didn’t get busted,” Cooper said as he started the truck.
“Amen to that,” Tarah added.
Minutes later, the noisy pickup lumbered to a stop outside Darcy’s house. Darcy spotted her sister and Desmond sitting on the front step holding hands.
“Look at them two lovebirds. They musta walked home. I’m glad their evening was better than ours,” Tarah said.
“Yeah, but I think it’s time for that evening to end,” Darcy said, looking at her watch. It was almost 10:30.
Jamee almost looked disappointed to see them, but Desmond stood up right away.
“Where were you?” Desmond asked, looking at his brother. “You just disappeared. I thought I was gonna have to walk home. ”
“Get in. We’re goin’ home now,” Cooper said, offering no explanation. Desmond seemed to sense his brother was serious. He said something to Jamee and dashed over to the truck.
Darcy quickly got out and headed toward the house.
“I’ll call you tomorrow, Darcy,” Tarah said as the old truck revved up and pulled away.
“Weren’t those fireworks great? Me and Dez had the best time,” Jamee gushed. She spoke quickly, her voice so full of excitement she didn’t wait for Darcy to reply. “And what about you and Troy? I saw him checkin’ you out. He has a really cute smile. You guys looked good together too. ”
Darcy took a deep breath and fought the urge to lash out at her sister.
“I don’t have time for this right now. I’ve gotta work tomorrow, and I’m tired,” Darcy said walking into the house.
“Wait a minute, ” Jamee demanded, following her to the door of her room. “You gotta tell me what happened with you two tonight. Did you at least like him?” Jamee asked.
Suddenly the phone rang. Jamee rolled her eyes but then raced back to grab it. Darcy fled to her bedroom, eager to get away from her sister. She knew Jamee hadn’t seen her kick Troy, and she hoped to keep it that way.
But a second later, she heard Jamee in the hallway. “It’s for you, Darcy. It’s Brisana. She sounds upset. ”
Darcy opened the door and took the phone. “Brisana?”
“I need to talk to you, Darcy,” Brisana said, her voice shaky.
“Where are you? Did he hurt you?” Darcy asked, imagining her old friend fighting off an attack like the one she faced.
“No he didn’t hurt me. I’m home. But I . . . I think . . . ” Brisana’s voice cracked, and Darcy heard her blow her nose. “Can you meet me tomorrow? I don’t want to talk about this over the phone. ”
“Yeah, I’m working tomorrow, but I get my break at 4:00. I can probably get someone to cover for me for an hour or so. If you want to see me sooner, maybe I can—”
“I’ll meet you at 4:00. I gotta go. I can’t talk now. ” The phone clicked and then went dead. Brisana had abruptly hung up. Darcy could almost picture her, sitting somewhere alone crying.
What did he do to her? Darcy wondered. She could feel rage in her chest, anger at guys who hurt girls, guys who dealt with their problems by taking them out on those around them.
Yet even as she thought about Brisana, Darcy remembered Troy. He had been completely innocent, and she had lashed out at him for the same reason, hurting him because someone once hurt her. It was a cycle of pain that needed to stop.
Darcy knew she needed to talk to someone, at least to her parents. Maybe to Tarah. But the idea of admitting her fears, of exposing how weak and vulnerable Brian made her feel, was almost too much to bear. It made her feel like a helpless child. Her face burned with shame as she returned the cordless phone to the kitchen.
“Is Brisana okay? I never heard her that upset,” Jamee said when Darcy hung up the phone.
“Yeah, she’s fine, Jamee. Don’t worry about her,” Darcy lied. She knew better than to tell Jamee anything about her friends. If she did, the whole neighborhood would know about it in a few hours. Jamee loved gossip.
Jamee looked insulted, but Darcy rushed by her, hoping to get back into her room before her sister could say anything. As she got to the door, Darcy could hear Jamee’s footsteps behind her.
“Darcy, you never answered my question. How did it go with Troy?”
“I told you I’m tired. I’m going to bed,” Darcy replied.
“Darce, what is your problem?” Jamee asked, putting her hands on her hips and raising her voice. “You got nothin’ but attitude anymore. The way you look at me it’s like you can’t stand me or something. You act like I’m doing something wrong even though I’m not. ”
Darcy knew there was truth in Jamee’s words, but she wasn’t ready to talk about it. Not now, not after hearing Brisana weep or seeing Cooper beat up someone in the shadows of the park. Not after what she had done to Troy.
“Good night, Jamee. ”
Darcy closed her bedroom door in Jamee’s face, leaving her standing in the hallway alone. Jamee cursed angrily and stormed away. Darcy heard her bedroom door slam shut seconds later. She turned her lights out, guilt hanging in the air like a heavy cloud of smoke.
Chapter 9
“What’d you do last night, Darcy? Did you see fireworks?” Haley asked. She and Darcy arrived at Scoops at the same time, 11:55. Haley was already wearing her green apron.
“Yeah, you could say that,” Darcy replied, putting on her Scoops visor. She was still tired from the night before. It had been another night of tossing and turning, but instead of nightmares, Darcy simply could not relax, her mind spinning with echoes of Brisana’s pained voice and images of Cooper’s rage.
“Me too. I met the coolest guy. His name’s Greg. He’s so cute,” Haley beamed.
Darcy turned away so Haley wouldn’t see her roll her eyes. “That’s great,” she said, trying her best to sound sincere. Before Haley could say something else, Darcy grabbed a dishcloth and started cleaning and straightening up the counters. She was not in the mood for small talk, especially not about boys.
By 3:30, Darcy had managed to sweep the floors, scrub the counter twice, clean the windows, and replenish the supplies of napkins and plastic spoons. Tamika seemed delighted at her work, complimenting her several times.
“Darcy, you gotta stop workin’ so hard,” Haley joked at one point. “I’m getting’ tired just watchin’ you. Besides, you’re making me look bad too. ”
“Listen, Haley, I need a favor. I gotta step out at 4:00 for a little while. Can you cover for me?”
“Yeah, I guess so. I mean, you did everything already. ” Haley said, pausing to study Darcy’s face. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s cool. Thanks, girl,” Darcy said, annoyed that she had to tell another lie.
At 3:55, Darcy spotted Brisana coming up the street. She was dressed in jeans and a navy T-shirt, nothing like the clothes she had been wearing in recent days. Yet her face looked almost gray, and her eyes were swollen and puffy as if she had been crying. Darcy had never seen her look so weary.
“Hey, Darce,” Brisana said, wiping her eyes. “I’m sorry I’m taking you away from work. I just didn’t know where else to go. ”
“Please, it’s no big deal, Brisana. You’re more important to me than a job,” she said, meaning every word. Darcy led Brisana around the corner and headed into the alley behind Scoops. It was much quieter than the main street, though from the pained look on Brisana’s face, Darcy figured it almost didn’t matter where they were. “Brisana what is it? What’s wrong?”
“I need you to promise me you’re not going to judge me or tell anyone what I tell you. ”
Darcy paused. How could she promise if she didn’t know what it was? And yet, how could she say no to Brisana, who looked more desperate than ever? “Okay,” she said. “I promise. ”
Brisana shook her head, but kept her eyes focused on the ground. “Darcy, I really screwed up,” she said. “You can’t tell anyone. Not even my mom. ”
“I won’t, Bris. What is it?” Darcy asked.
“I think . . . ” Brisana stammered, looking all around as if she was afraid someone was listening to her. “I think I’m pregnant. ”
“Pregnant?!” Darcy repeated, louder than she meant to.
“Why don’t you just scream it to everyone!” Brisana yelled. “Please, Darcy, don’t freak out on me, ’cause if you do that, I don’t know what I’m gonna do. ”
Brisana’s voice struck Darcy. It was sad and defeated, almost like she was begging. Darcy could hardly believe her ears. Brisana Meeks was one of the best students at Bluford. She and Darcy had practically grown up together. They used to talk about the girls at school who got pregnant and dropped out. Brisana had even insulted them from time to time. She was the last person Darcy ever imagined getting pregnant.
“I’m sorry,” Darcy said, putting her hand on Brisana’s shoulder. “Are you sure?”
“My period is four days late . . . that’s never happened before. ” Brisana said, beginning to sob. “I . . . I just don’t know what to do. ”
“Did you tell your parents?”
“No! There is no way I can tell them, Darcy. They’ll kill me. I’m supposed to go to college in two years, Darcy. I can’t be pregnant! Could you imagine what everyone will say about me if people at Bluford find out? I’m gonna have to quit school. I just can’t deal with it, Darcy. I can’t,” Brisana said, her voice cracking into sobs.
Darcy put her arms around her. “Just calm down, Brisana. We’ll get through this. Maybe you’re not pregnant,” she said, stroking Brisana’s head. “I’ll run to the drug store and get you one of those home pregnancy tests, and—“
“No,” Brisana interrupted. “I tried one of those things, and I spilled it on the bathroom floor. It was a mess, and I couldn’t even read the results right. If I go through that again, I’m gonna lose it for real,” she said, wiping her eyes.
Darcy gently rubbed Brisana’s back, the news washing over her in waves.
“If I am pregnant, it’s Duane’s baby,” Brisana continued, blowing her nose. “I know I shouldn’t have listened to him, Darcy. But he was just so nice to me. He made me feel so special. And when he told me he loved me, I made myself believe him. The whole thing was over for him in a few minutes, but look at me. ”
“Did you talk to him about it?”
“Yeah, I talked to him. Know what he said to me? ‘Ain’t mine. I don’t even want to hear it. ’ I was like, ‘But Duane, you’re the only person I was ever with like that. ’ He said it wasn’t his problem. It’s like you tried to tell me. He’s a player. He just wanted one thing, and he got it. I know he was cheating on me, too. ”
“Enough about him. That boy’s a dog,” Darcy replied, angry for Brisana. Though she didn’t say it, Darcy knew how Brisana had been fooled. Brian had almost done the same thing to her, telling her just what she wanted to hear. That she wasn’t alone. That she was attractive, desirable, special, and loved. After the attack, Darcy had learned that Brian already had a child, something he had kept hidden from her when they were together.
“What am I gonna do, Darcy? I am in so much trouble. ”
Darcy tried to think of an easy answer to give Brisana, but nothing came to her. Of course, they would have to figure out if Brisana was pregnant, but how? They couldn’t just go to the doctor, not without a parent. They were both under eighteen.
“We have to tell your parents. ”
“No, Darcy. Don’t make me do that. ”
“We gotta tell someone so we can get to the doctor and figure out if you really are pregnant,” Darcy insisted. Suddenly an idea struck her. Tarah. She worked at the community center. That’s where the clinic was. Even though the two weren’t friends, Darcy figured Tarah could at least point her in the right direction. “I think I should tell Tarah. She works at the Brown Street Community Center. She can tell us what to do. ”
“No,” Brisana protested. “I don’t want Tarah thinking I’m some kind of slut or something. That girl already hates me. She’ll tell all of Bluford about how I got knocked up. ”
“Brisana, you got Tarah all wrong. She’s not like that. There isn’t anyone I would trust more with this. ” Brisana shook her head, looking totally defeated, as if the idea of telling Tarah was something she could not bear.
“I can’t do this, Darcy. I can’t have you tell her. ”
“Look, let me just talk to her and see what she says. I won’t even tell her it’s you. For now, just go home and relax. When I get home from work tonight, I’ll call her. Then I’ll call you. Don’t do anything until you hear from me. ”
“Are you sure?” Brisana asked, her eyed glistening in the late afternoon sun. “I’m gonna trust you ’cause I don’t know what else to do. I really don’t. ”
“You can trust me, Bris. I got your back,” Darcy said, giving her another hug. “You’re not alone in this. You hear me?”
Brisana nodded, her tears falling quietly onto the hot sidewalk.
For the rest of the day at Scoops, Darcy could not shake her conversation with Brisana. It was like an earthquake had happened in her mind, forever shifting her entire world.
Brisana thinks she’s pregnant.
The words, so simple yet so strong, stole away their childhood, erasing it completely. They were not kids anymore, even though they were still in school and Darcy was sure Brisana still had her favorite stuffed animal, a soft teddy bear, in her room. Darcy imagined Brisana clutching it in fear, looking for some comfort against the real world, a place where kids have kids. Where boys lie. Where stupid decisions can change an entire life. Or make a new one.
“I’m with you, Brisana,” Darcy whispered, thinking of Duane and Brian. Just their names made her angry, two boys who seemed to not care who they hurt. Darcy wished they were just part of a nightmare, like ghosts or vampires. Things unreal. Yet they were real. Guys like them were everywhere.
But then there were good guys. Hakeem was one of them. So was Cooper. Maybe even Troy was, though Darcy wasn’t ready to give him a chance.
“Someday, when you’re older, you’ll find yourself a good man, Angelcake. Believe me, they’re out there. But don’t rush. When you are ready, years from now, you’ll find one and settle down. You’ll see,” Grandma had once said.
It was a conversation they had in the park over a year ago, before Darcy had dated Hakeem, months before Dad returned. At the time, it made Darcy uncomfortable, like the discussions in health class about condoms and periods. It was just too much.
Now Darcy could never imagine herself settling down with anyone. Grandma’s words seemed to describe some other world, a place Darcy didn’t know, free of Duanes and Brians. Free of fathers who leave home for five years. Free of the nightly crying and tension she had witnessed in her house during the past few weeks.
“I can’t wait to see Greg again,” Haley said, jarring Darcy from her thoughts. She took off her apron and
visor.
“I’m happy for you,” Darcy mumbled, looking at the clock. It was 8:00, the end of their shift. Darcy felt a nervous tremor in her stomach. Tarah would be home already. Darcy rushed home to call her.
“There you are,” Dad said as soon as Darcy walked in. “We’ve been waiting for you. ”
“Huh?” Darcy asked, watching her father walk into the small dining room next to the kitchen. The house was filled with the aroma of fresh baked chicken. It was one of Dad’s “specialties,” a dish he learned to cook in the years he was away from the family. Yet such meals were usually for special occasions, not a regular weeknight, especially not this late at night.
“What’s going on?” Darcy asked, as she reached the dining room. To her surprise, Mom was seated at the table, which was crowded with plates and bowls. One large dish contained a steaming chicken, golden and fresh out of the oven. There was even a candle in the center of the table. Jamee was next to Mom, a puzzled look on her face.
“What do you mean ‘What’s going on’? We’re having a family dinner,” Dad explained, pulling her chair out formally. “Have a seat. ”
Darcy sat down and looked over at Jamee, who shrugged her shoulders slightly, signaling that she too was confused. Across from Jamee, Mom looked tense, tapping her fingers on the table nervously.
“Mom, you’re never home this early. I thought you wouldn’t be here until 9:00. ”
“I came home early. Your father and I wanted to talk to you both,” Mom said, looking at Dad as if she wanted him to confirm what she was saying.
Darcy felt her pulse begin to race. There was no way she could talk to Mom about Brisana now. Not with Jamee and Dad listening. But worse, something serious was happening. It was the only reason Mom would come home from work early. Even Jamee seemed to sense something important was going on. Darcy could feel Jamee’s leg bouncing nervously under the table. It was something she always did when she was tense. Jamee’s eyes were on Dad, who glanced at everyone as if he was preparing to make a speech.
