The Arms of a Better Man

by Indiana Wake

  “So, Todd did not get a look in then?”

  “Goodness, how did you know about him?” Katie asked, surprised that Connie would even know of it.

  “Don’t worry, it is not the talk of the town.” Connie laughed hard. “Your ma told me that he came pestering you at the lumberyard and that you gave him his marching orders.”

  “And with any luck it’ll stick. But I won’t hold my breath, Todd and his ilk are kind of determined.”

  “Especially when there’s a beautiful girl at stake,” Connie said and smiled warmly.

  “What can I get you, Mrs. Langdon?” The waitress appeared at the table with a bright smile.

  “Well, I would like some pie and coffee and I’m sure that my friend here would like the same,” she said and raised her eyebrows at Katie.

  “Oh yes, please, apple pie if you have it.”

  “We sure do.” The waitress smiled.

  “Yes, apple pie for me too please,” Connie said, and the waitress hurried away.

  “I wish it was possible to just go out and dance and have a good time without becoming an object to be won,” Katie said, continuing their conversation.

  “I know you do,” Connie said, and it was clear that she understood Katie entirely. “And I reckon a man that comes chasing after beauty alone doesn’t have a lot of interest going on in his own mind.”

  “My goodness, Connie, that’s it exactly. I think just the very same myself, always finding that the so-called handsome men who race up to you go some way to being boring. They’re all so shallow, nothing else matters to them. But how can you smile and nod at somebody like that, worse still, spend the rest of your life with them? There has to be more to it, Connie, doesn’t there?”

  “Ain’t that the truth. And let me tell you, neither me nor my husband were what you might call oil paintings in our youth.” She chuckled and held up a hand when Katie attempted to politely refute such a claim. “No, really. But we had something far greater in our favor. By the time we walked up the aisle we knew each other. We knew what it was we liked and loved about each other. And you know, I wouldn’t swap that for anything.”

  “I would give anything for that,” Katie said truthfully.

  “Well, just because you’ve got a pretty face, doesn’t mean that you can’t have it. You’re already wise enough not to smile or flutter your eyelids at the Todd Garners of this world. All you have to do is wait and see, the right one will come along, I promise you that.”

  “They sure are comforting words, Connie,” Katie said and felt her heart swell; she really did love Connie.

  The waitress appeared with a tray and set their pie and coffee down in front of them. As they began to eat, Katie wondered if Connie would see right through any disguised attempt to gather information on Arlen. In the end, she decided that it would be simpler to just ask outright.

  “Connie, I saw a man in church a few weeks ago, Arlen Bryant, and Mama tells me that you know the family.”

  “I do know the family. But you know me, I know just about everyone in this town,” she said and put her fork down and leaned back in her chair for a moment, smiling at her young companion.

  “I know I don’t know him, Connie, I was just concerned that I didn’t see him in church again. The last two weeks, David and Mary have been there with their son, but no sign of Arlen. I just wondered if he was sick or something.”

  “Well, I’ve seen Mary in the last few days and she certainly didn’t say that he was sick,” Connie said and chewed her bottom lip in concern. “Is there some special reason for your concern?”

  “I guess I felt bad for him, the way folks at church stared and all,” Katie said quietly, looking down at her lap before continuing. “Myself included.”

  “I know you well enough to know that you’re not a hard-hearted young woman. And if you’re going to keep beating yourself up about a simple glance, how are you going to be able to help him? Don’t concentrate on feeling guilty, concentrate on reaching out your hand.”

  “I don’t know how to do it. I mean, what if he doesn’t want to hear it? You didn’t see his face in church, Connie. I don’t reckon I’m his favorite person.”

  “But if you want to make him welcome in his home again, it’s not really about you, is it?” Connie narrowed her eyes and lifted her fork once again. “Which is not me trying to be harsh, it’s just the truth. You’re looking into the future at a time when your offer of friendship is rejected and you’re wondering how that’s going to make you feel. That’s the thing you have to let go of, honey. Don’t think about how it could go wrong, think about how it could go right.”

  “I understand.” Katie nodded. “I just wonder when the right time would be.”

  “You’ll know the right time. You’re a sensible girl, you’re a bright girl, you will know.” Connie laughed. “Now, get eating that pie and drinking that coffee before it all goes cold.”

  “Thanks, Connie.”

  And, as she ate her pie and chatted happily, Katie realized that she did have the courage after all.

  Chapter 5

  “I’m glad you came out with me today, Arlen. I can’t bear to think of you keeping yourself back from the world,” Mary said as the two of them made slow progress through the main street.

  “Thank you, Mary, but right now I’m just concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other to get to the diner,” Arlen said, the pain in his right leg increasing with every step.

  It had been his own decision to leave the horse and wagon at the other end of the street by the haberdashery where he had spent a long and boring twenty minutes waiting for Mary to pick out the buttons she needed for something she was making at home.

  But, to his surprise, the store owner had been keen to pass the time of day with him. He hadn’t known Bud Grant particularly well before leaving for war, having little need of anything in the haberdashery, and so was pleasantly surprised that the man was so welcoming.

  He’d fetched a chair in for him from out the back of the store, telling him that he knew Mary well enough to know that this would take some little time.

  At first, it occurred to Arlen to feel diminished by it, to let his feelings of frustration and annoyance overtake him as they so often did of late. But the truth was that it was a kind act by a kind man, one who continued to talk with him the whole time while his sister-in-law pawed over little dishes of brightly colored buttons.

  Something about the encounter made the slow journey along the street easier somehow, even the stares of others who chose not to speak as Bud Grant had done. It was the beginnings of a realization that not everybody was the same, even if the ones who stood head and shoulders above the crowd were few and far between.

  “Maybe this was too far to walk, Arlen?” Mary said apologetically.

  “I’ve only got myself to blame, Mary.” He laughed, despite feeling beads of sweat break out on the back of his neck with every step he took. “I was the one who insisted we leave the wagon back there.”

  “Well, listen, if you want me to go and get the wagon, you just say. Don’t you be using any of that angry refusal on me.”

  “What angry refusal?” he asked, but knew fine well there was little point in arguing with Mary.

  “You know just exactly what I’m talking about, Arlen. If you want me to collect the wagon after we’re done at the diner, I’ll do it. And if you want to walk all the way back, I’ll do that too. You know that.”

  “I do know it, Mary. I don’t mean to be such a misery, you know.” He stopped for a moment, taking in a deep breath before smiling at her. “It’s all right. I’m all right.” He insisted and set off once again.

  With the wasted muscle in his right thigh stinging with extraordinary pain, Arlen concentrated hard on the sight of the diner just a hundred yards ahead.

  He felt for Mary, knowing how much she cared for him and just how the sight of him in pain would affect her. But at the same time, he felt the conflicting stab of annoyance by
the idea that she would run down the street and collect the wagon.

  He knew it was unreasonable, but he was unable to turn his back entirely on the traitorous feeling. And so, when he looked up again to see none other than the beautiful ashen haired young woman who had stared at him in church, it was all the easier to quietly direct every ounce of frustration, pain, and annoyance, in her direction.

  They were just a few yards from the door of the diner and the girl just a few yards further away than that. Once again, she had stopped in her tracks just as she had done that day on the riverbank, and looked at him.

  Instinctively, Arlen drew to a halt and held her gaze as determinedly as he had done that day in church. What was it that she wanted with him? Why did she keep appearing in his world?

  “Is everything all right?” Mary asked, looking from Arlen to the young woman and back again.

  “Perfectly all right,” Arlen said flatly before resuming his tortuous journey once again.

  But he had only taken another step before the young woman started to walk towards him with a certain amount of determination of her own.

  Katie hadn’t meant to be in the town that day, but her ma had asked her to go down and collect one or two groceries she needed. Grace was under the weather and had chosen, in the end, not to make the trip herself.

  And so, when Katie saw Arlen walking through the street with his sister-in-law, she thought it was fate. That she be in the same place at the same time as a man who seemed to be out so rarely was, she thought, beyond coincidence.

  Even as he glared at her, even as her every instinct told her to bow her head and turn and walk away, Connie’s words rolled through her mind. This wasn’t about her. If he rejected her friendship, then he rejected it. But she could not allow the fear of that rejection to stop her now.

  With her heart beating ten to the dozen, Katie took a deep breath and began to walk towards him. She smiled at Mary first, seeing that the woman had a much more open, if a little concerned, expression on her face.

  “Good afternoon, Mrs. Bryant,” Katie said shyly.

  “Good afternoon,” Mary said. “It’s Katie, isn’t it? Your daddy runs the lumberyard?”

  “Yes, that’s right. Katie Lacey.”

  “Well, it sure is nice to see you,” Mary said politely and then looked a little uncertain as her eyes shifted to her brother-in-law.

  “Mr. Bryant, I sure am pleased to have seen you today,” Katie said, feeling her cheeks blazing scarlet and her fear and embarrassment riding high.

  “Are you? And why is that, Miss Lacey?” he said in a voice that was so deep it took her aback a little.

  He stood up straight-backed, his hands thrust casually into the pockets of his thick work trousers despite the fact that the effort at walking had clearly taken a toll on him.

  This was the closest she had been to him so far, and Katie was surprised by just how handsome he was. His fair hair was a little sun lightened and thick, and his eyes like blue gemstones. His skin was tanned and kind of weather-beaten, just as any man’s might be if he’d spent the better part of the last three years out in the open.

  But who was she to judge him as handsome or otherwise? After all, she did not like the same thing herself.

  “I wanted to apologize to you, Mr. Bryant. I was staring over at you in church the last time you were there and it sure was rude of me.” Katie’s mouth was so dry she felt as if her tongue might stick to the roof of her mouth and render her mute.

  “I see,” he said and stared at her as if waiting for her to continue.

  He seemed neither please nor displeased, his face and manner entirely unreadable. His voice was deep in a way that she could feel beneath her skin somehow and yet it gave away no trace of either pleasure or annoyance. Katie felt that she was walking blindly and wished that she could at least have picked up a little something from him that would have given her direction in what she should say next.

  But failing that, all she could really do was tell the truth.

  “I don’t wish to excuse myself, Sir, but I would like you to know that there was no malice in my glance. It wasn’t just idle curiosity, for I was certain that I had seen you before on the riverbank.”

  “Well, I guess the limp was a giveaway. No mistaking me really, huh?”

  “No, there was no mistaking you,” Katie said, fighting an urge to vehemently disagree.

  After all, there really was no mistaking him and she knew it as well as he did. What good would it do now to be dishonest? She would just diminish even further in his eyes and she knew she didn’t want that. “And so, I should not have looked over as long as I did, but I found myself wanting to identify you. I mean, I wanted to see who you were with because I didn’t know who you were.”

  “Well, I guess you know who I am now,” he said and seemed, if anything, a little tired of the conversation.

  “Anyway, I hope you will accept my apology, Mr. Bryant,” she said and knew that she was still blushing in a way that would have been obvious to both Mary and Arlen. “For I truly am sorry.”

  “Arlen?” Mary said, as if acting under a natural instinct to mediate.

  “Yes, I’ll accept your apology,” he said in an offhand manner which made Katie feel very young and silly.

  “Well, thank you,” she said, feeling truly tongue-tied at last.

  “If that will be all, Miss Lacey, I’ll be on my way,” he said and nodded towards the diner door.

  “Yes, of course,” she said, but as he looked set to disappear, Katie found her tongue once more. “Only, there was one more thing I wanted to say,” she said in a flurry of words.

  “And what is that?” he enquired in the same neutral tone, his crystal blue eyes fixing her own in an almost uncomfortable way.

  For a moment, she wondered why on earth she was bothering. It had taken everything she had to apologize to him and he was treating it all as a simple nothing. But she was determined not to walk away yet. After all, it wasn’t about her.

  “I just wanted you to know that I stand with the people who are grateful to you for your service to this country. What you’ve done has been so important in the lives of so many, especially those who don’t have their freedom as every human being should.” Although she looked at him, Katie was aware of Mary’s sudden smile of appreciation.

  Perhaps she had been right to find her courage after all. Perhaps all was not lost, and he would accept her apology truthfully.

  “And you know much about the war, do you? A young woman like you who likely has her head full of just about everything else instead?”

  “I cannot claim to know about the war itself, about the day-to-day life of a soldier, no, Sir. But I can claim to know the origins of that war, certainly enough that my appreciation of all that you did is sincere.”

  “And how do you come to know so much about the origins of the war?”

  “I read,” she said, self-consciously, as he gave a little snort of laughter that drew his sister-in-law’s attention sharply.

  “And what do you read, Miss Lacey?” he probed, and Katie was once again beginning to regret her decision to attempt to reach out a hand of friendship to him.

  For one thing, she hadn’t expected to have to defend her own learning, her own standards as a human being. She was fighting against her own annoyance now, and only barely winning.

  “I have managed to see a copy of The Liberator from time to time. Mr. William Lloyd Garrison is truly ardent, and his message has spread far and wide.” She paused to run her tongue over her painfully dry lips. “And I read Mr. William Wells Brown’s Narrative of the Fugitive Slave. I have an old copy of it that I found in Roper’s booksellers down the street here just a year or so ago.”

  “And you read it all?” he asked and seemed to be softening a little.

  “Cover to cover, Mr. Bryant. More than once,” she said, just an ounce of her confidence returning. “I sure was touched by it.”

  “Well, it’s comforting to know th
at such things are still being read. With the war still raging down there, it’s good to hear that these things are not forgotten.”

  “Not forgotten, no. And I pray every day that it soon concludes.”

  “Well, that does you credit, Miss Lacey.” He paused for the longest time and Katie could find nothing else to say to fill the silence.

  She was feeling suddenly exhausted by the whole conversation, drained by her own nerves, so much so that she wanted to be released now, to be away from this man whose forgiveness she had been so keen to secure.

  “It was very kind of you to make this effort, Miss Lacey,” Mary said, taking over when it seemed clear that her brother-in-law wasn’t going to say another word.

  “Thank you,” Katie said and eyed the diner door for a moment. “Well, I should let the two of you go about your day,” she said and nodded and smiled at Mary.

  Mary smiled back in a kind way which threatened to reduce an already emotional Katie to tears. Even so, she risked a final look at Arlen, nodding her farewell at him before turning to leave. But once again, all she could make out was a certain blankness, a strange neutrality that would leave her unsettled for days on end.

  Chapter 6

  Towards the end of the week, Katie was surprised by a visit from Mary Bryant. It had been a slow day in the lumberyard and Katie had treated herself to a little time sitting on the large wooden barrel that her father had left for her behind the counter.

  It was an impromptu seat that was high enough for her to see over the counter as she sat reading a little passage in a book about rhododendrons. She had been keen to grow them in the Lacey family garden but had found that they were not thriving as she had hoped.

  However, the moment she looked up to see Mary, she closed the book immediately and forgot all about her garden altogether.

  “Mrs. Bryant,” she said and slid down off the wooden barrel, immediately straightening her dress and petticoats as she did so. “How nice it is to see you.” She said with uncertainty.