The Arms of a Better Man

by Indiana Wake

  “Lucky for you that your family aren’t keen.” Mary laughed.

  “It’s not much of a garden though. There’s not much space, just slim patches down each side of the house and a good bit out the front. And around the back there are just trees and what have you. The rest of my daddy’s land is taken up by the lumberyard, so we have to make do.”

  “Good sermon?” Arlen walked awkwardly into the room and paused a few feet away from Katie to lean on a large wooden dresser.

  As he leaned on it, the plates and cups inside shifted just a little, not visible movement exactly, just the sound of the crockery tinkling.

  Katie didn’t know if his question was for her or Mary and so she sat mutely staring at him for a moment or two before he raised his eyebrows at her and tipped his head to one side.

  “Oh yes, very good,” she said hurriedly and felt her cheeks blushing once again.

  There was something antagonistic about Arlen again, she could almost taste it. She felt instantly awkward and, despite her best intentions, was heartily wishing that Mary had never asked her to dinner in the first place.

  “So, I missed out then?” He gave a mirthless laugh.

  “Yes. Well, no… I don’t know,” Katie said, stuttering a little.

  “Well, which is it?” His beautiful bright blue eyes bored into hers mercilessly.

  “Both. Or neither,” Katie said with a little antagonism of her own. “It all very much depends on whether you wanted to hear the sermon or not.” She could hardly believe she had bitten back at him the way she had, but she didn’t want to start out timid and have him torture her like a child with a daddy-long-legs throughout the entire meal.

  “I reckon that’s a good answer.” He smiled, but it was not a particularly endearing one.

  He moved from his leaning post against the dresser and made his way across the large, square kitchen. Katie didn’t want to stare at him, but she didn’t want to look away either. If she looked away, he would see it. And if she stared, he would be annoyed.

  If only trying to be a decent human being wasn’t so very difficult.

  “It’s all right, you can look away if you want,” he said in a somewhat mocking tone.

  Katie had absolutely no response for him whatsoever and so she looked at him for as long as she could before her own self-consciousness forced her eyes down to the top of the scrubbed wooden table.

  She was sure she heard him laugh under his breath and she felt herself more embarrassed than ever. What on earth had Mary been thinking, inviting her there? This was beyond simple low spirits and it ought to have been clear to his sister-in-law that he was not ready for company. Maybe he never would be.

  “Thank you for keeping an eye on the meat and vegetables, Arlen,” Mary said, interjecting at last.

  “I guess it was a simple enough task that even I could manage it.”

  “Arlen,” Mary said in a voice that was so quiet it was barely audible.

  Arlen didn’t respond, he just settled himself down in one of the wooden chairs and leaned heavily on the table. He was seated directly opposite Katie and he stared at her unabashed and with some determination.

  Katie couldn’t meet his gaze, feeling as if she were a tiny bug underneath a magnifying glass. She was so uncomfortable she was certain she wouldn’t be able to eat a bite. She might be able to chew, but she was absolutely sure that she wouldn’t be able to swallow. The idea of eating was now making her feel even more anxious.

  “Can I set the table for you, honey?” David seemed to burst into the kitchen from outside where he had been unhitching the horses from the wagon and putting everything to rights.

  “Yes, please. The plates are out ready.” Katie looked up at last and saw a little look of desperation pass between Mary and David.

  “So, how’s your daddy’s lumber business these days?” David questioned in a forced jovial manner as he set plates out around the table.

  “Four plates?” Arlen said quietly interrupting.

  “Oh yes, I was forgetting that Jason won’t be joining us.”

  David and Mary’s son, Jason, had scampered away from them all after church, destined to have dinner and spend the afternoon with the family of one of his school friends.

  Katie idly wondered if the reticent boy had already perceived what an awkward thing dinner might be that day. Perhaps he had made a very wise choice in spending his afternoon somewhere else altogether.

  “Don’t let me interrupt you,” Arlen said, still staring at Katie. “You were about to tell my brother that your daddy’s lumber business is doing just fine.” There was a hint of a smile on his lips as if he was enjoying his antagonism.

  “Better than fine,” she said and stared right back into those blue eyes.

  It took every ounce of willpower she had not to look away from him and he looked both surprised and amused by it.

  “That’s good to hear,” David said as he noisily set out the knives and forks.

  “There’s still a lot of people building. The new people who came over the trail before the winter set in are still making homes. It certainly keeps us busy.” Katie smiled at David, truly feeling for him.

  “And Mary tells me that you work with your daddy?” David went on, manfully trying to keep the conversation going.

  “Yes, I have done since I was a child.”

  “Isn’t that a strange sort of a job for you to have?” Arlen asked, and it was clear to her that he was still in an aggressive mood, not really the least bit interested in what it was she did from day-to-day.

  “No, not really. Selling is selling, isn’t it? I don’t suppose it matters whether it’s fabric or lumber. It’s all the same thing.”

  “It sure is,” Mary said and set down a beautiful joint of meat, its aroma enough to make Katie hungry again.

  Perhaps she would manage to eat a little something after all.

  “That sure does look tasty, Mary,” Katie said and smiled up at her, suddenly keen to ignore Arlen and his sullen antagonism.

  “Thank you, honey. I hope you’ll enjoy it.”

  “You don’t get bored then?” Arlen spoke, still looking at Katie with determination.

  Katie looked back at him, this time without the need for any willpower whatsoever. He had annoyed her to the point that she no longer felt nervous or awkward, and the only sensation she was now battling was the urge to be as rude to him as he was being to her.

  But that wouldn’t do, not for Katie. David and Mary had invited her into their home and she would be gracious no matter what. She had been raised right and she wasn’t going to let her own ma and daddy down by playing Arlen at his own game.

  “Bored? You mean working for my daddy in the lumberyard?” she said in as conversational a tone as she could manage. He nodded, and she went on. “No, not at all. And it makes sense for me to learn it all since I’ll be taking over one day, when the time comes.” She narrowed her gaze and was satisfied by his brief look of surprise. “Customers tend to come in flurries, all walking in at once and wanting your attention. But even when they’ve gone and there’s an hour or two before somebody else comes in, I take the opportunity to read. So, no, I don’t get bored.” She smiled noncommittally.

  “Oh yes, you’re a great reader,” he said in a flat tone.

  “That’s right, Mr. Bryant, I am.” Katie was not going to be made ashamed by him.

  There had been enough people who had pointed out to her over the years how her own pursuits were so different from their own. The friends who had drifted away because Katie was not the most light-hearted of people. The girls who had politely shunned her because she often talked of what she had learned rather than how she was going to fix her hair for the next barn dance.

  She hadn’t buckled under the weight of their opinions and she certainly wasn’t going to buckle under the weight of Arlen’s. She had come there to offer him friendship and if this was how he behaved, his not taking that friendship certainly wouldn’t be a loss to her.


  “My wife tells me that you’ve read a lot about the slavery in the South.” David sat down at the table and Katie was pleased to be able to turn to look at him rather than be confronted with Arlen directly in front of her.

  “Yes, I sure have.”

  “I’ve seen a copy or two of the Liberator myself, although I reckon much of what I’ve heard about it goes by word-of-mouth,” David said pleasantly.

  “It does, and I guess that’s the power of it, David,” Katie said, finally feeling calm, at her ease.

  She was talking about things she knew, the things she’d learned, and she was finally settled properly into her own skin again. “Because when people talk about something like that, they add their own heart to it before passing it on. I think that generally people’s instincts are that keeping one person in service to another just isn’t right.”

  “Do you read about botany too?” Mary asked, setting down two great bowls of vegetables on the table before sitting down herself, “since you have a love of planting.”

  “I do, I guess I’m always trying to get it right.” Katie laughed. “Sometimes, I’ll sow some seeds and I’m so sure they’ll thrive. And then they don’t, and I have no idea why. So, yes, I do read quite a bit about it, usually to find out where I’m going wrong.”

  “Help yourself to vegetables, honey,” Mary said and seemed to relax.

  Katie felt proud of herself then for not having given into her own awkwardness, despite Arlen’s best efforts to have her do just that. It had helped not only her, but David and Mary also. And as far as she could see, they deserved to be treated a sight better than Arlen was treating them right then.

  “Thank you,” Katie said with a broad smile as she helped herself to a healthy portion of mashed potatoes.

  Once her plate was full and she began to eat, Katie could see that Arlen was studying her with some interest. She couldn’t tell if he was pleased or annoyed, but she was certain that he wasn’t looking at her with that blank neutrality anymore.

  Chapter 8

  That night, Katie sat up in bed rehashing the events of the afternoon, just as she had imagined she would. But she was neither devastated nor pleased by it all, rather she was just overtaken with the idea that people were never as you assumed they were going to be.

  And Arlen certainly hadn’t been as she had assumed. But then she herself had behaved in a way she would never have expected, and it was that, more than anything, which consumed her thoughts as she leaned back against her pillows and stared at the strips of moonlight making their way in through the drapes and falling across the foot of her bed.

  Arlen had left the table before everybody else had finished eating, claiming that he needed to give his leg a little exercise.

  The moment he was gone, both David and Mary began to apologize although Katie had immediately reassured them that it wasn’t necessary. More than anything, she wanted to provide that loving couple with at least an ounce of relief after what must have been a most stressful day.

  She had continued to spend a pleasant afternoon with them, not leaving until their son, Jason, returned home at last.

  Katie politely declined David’s insistence that he drive her home in the wagon, reminding him that it was only a couple of miles and that it was still a fine and bright day. She had insisted that the walk would do her good, especially after eating as much as she had finally done, including a large slice of peach pie after dinner.

  David and Mary saw her off at the door, their gratitude for her efforts with Arlen clear. But of Arlen, there was no sign, and so she waved heartily at her hosts before wandering along the pathway that would take her to the edge of their land to the west and the road into town.

  But as she continued down the path that became increasingly enclosed with the trees and shrubs which marked the end of the Bryant ranch lands, Katie realized that Arlen was just a few feet away, leaning on the boundary fence.

  He looked up as she made her approach and she could feel her annoyance rising once again. She was exhausted from making such a great effort at the dinner table and found herself blaming him for making that effort necessary.

  “David not driving you home?” he stated when she finally reached him.

  “No. He offered, of course, but I decided to walk off the meal. Your sister-in-law sure is a fine cook.”

  “She’s good at all sorts of things. Cooking, making small talk, finding company to please an old cripple.” He laughed, and it was once again of the mirthless variety.

  “Perhaps Mary didn’t do so well with the last,” Katie said, “because you hardly seem to be pleased at all.”

  “I’m not sure what you were expecting.”

  “Neither am I,” Katie said and took in his appearance properly for the first time.

  It seemed strange to her suddenly that he seemed to have made an effort. He wore thick brown trousers which were less like work attire than the others she had seen him in. And his shirt was lightly checked and had clearly been neatly pressed.

  His thick fair hair, while a little unruly by nature, had been tamed a little and he was absolutely clean-shaven.

  Why on earth had he gone to such an effort when it was clear that he had been determined from the start not to make the best of new company, not to accept the hand of friendship, and not even to be pleasant?

  “But I suppose what I hadn’t expected was that you would be quite so rude, Mr. Bryant.”

  “Rude?” Although she could see that he clearly knew he had been just that, she could also see that he was surprised that she had tackled him.

  “You tried to make me feel awkward, didn’t you? You went out of your way, in fact. Now, I have never been to your home before, and it was the first time I’d ever been in your brother’s company. You know, a person is nervous enough in those circumstances without having somebody there trying to stick pins in them.”

  “You really think that I was trying to make you feel bad?” he said and looked taken aback.

  “I’m certain of it. I know it is a fact, Mr. Bryant. You were sullen, argumentative, you tried to make me feel uncomfortable if I looked at you and uncomfortable if I didn’t. You used your injury to your advantage, turning it into a stick to beat me with.”

  “I did what?” he questioned, trying to appear affronted that she had mentioned his injury at all.

  “You heard me.” Katie went on, hardly able to believe that she had a confrontational bone in her body.

  But the fact was that she had never come up against anybody as awkward as Arlen in her life and so there had never been a need to test herself in such a way. And the truth of it was that she didn’t struggle with it in the way that she would always have imagined. She might very well be quiet, a little isolated, and always polite, but apparently, Katie could stand up for herself. And the revelation almost made her smile.

  “Well, I sure didn’t mean to,” he said defensively.

  “Come on, Mr. Bryant, you meant every word of it. You had decided before I even arrived that you didn’t like me and, all things considered, that sure is your choice. But, you didn’t need to mock me for reading, mock me for working in my daddy’s lumberyard, and mock me for just about everything else there was to see about my character at your dinner table. So yes, you were rude. You were incredibly rude.”

  “And what about you now?”

  “Oh no, I’m not being rude. I’m just challenging you. There’s a difference.” Katie could hardly believe that she almost spat the words in her annoyance. “You know, I’m not so sure that you deserve the effort that your brother and his wife are putting into you.” She went on, unable to stop now that she was on a roll.

  “I beg your pardon?” Now it was his turn to get annoyed, but Katie wasn’t put off by it.

  He’d made her feel awkward and now he was going to get every bit of it back.

  “Your attitude towards me was really hard on David and Mary. They were trying to smooth it over, embarrassed that you’d made me
uncomfortable. But at the same time, they were still trying their best for you. They had to keep the conversation going with a complete stranger while you did everything in your power to make everybody awkward. And still they managed it without turning it back on you. I reckon that’s the kind of care and consideration that you really don’t deserve.”

  “Well, I suppose you’re not what I was expecting either!” he said, his mouth hanging open a little as he regarded her. “Not so shy and red-faced now, are you?”

  “Not when I’m angry, no,” she said and wanted to be away from him now, to forget that she had ever wasted a moment’s care on the man she had foolishly assumed would be a better person.

  But he had fought for the freedom of strangers; how could he be so unlikeable? She wanted to admire him, she knew she did. But if he didn’t want it, there was nothing she could do.

  “Where are you going?” he asked as she turned her back and began to walk away.

  “Home.” She stopped and turned back. “Away. Aren’t you pleased?”

  “Well, yes, I suppose so.” He shrugged, and she saw once again that tiny, almost invisible part of him which had made her want to speak to him on the riverbank and made her stare at him in church.

  It was as if he was lost, following a path that wasn’t really his. She could see the very vaguest hint of regret in that handsome face and those bright blue eyes, but it was too vague for her to know what to do with it.

  But she could sense his loneliness in that moment and wished that she had more experience of the world. Sure, she could tell him off as she had just proved, but to comfort a man who, to all intents and purposes, didn’t want to be comforted, was beyond the realm of her expertise.

  “Then I’ll leave you to it, Mr. Bryant,” she said and held her hands out to her sides for a moment, shrugging expansively before turning to continue on her way.

  She walked slowly at first, sensing that he wanted to call her back. But he remained silent and so she carried on heading for home.