by Olivia Miles
Sam tossed his hands in the air. “Well, he’s going to find out.”
“He is,” Rex agreed. “But I’d rather him not know until we can balance it out with good news. Now, what do you have for Reed?”
Sam told him about Lila’s idea and the spin he hoped to put on it. “There’s still a lot to go over.”
“Well, we don’t have time for that,” Rex said tersely. “Move the meeting up to Monday. I’ll join you.”
Sam hesitated, not liking his brother’s tone. “But what about Lila?”
His brother shrugged. “What about her?”
Sam tried to keep the temper out of his voice. He’d seen this kind of thing before. He didn’t like where this conversation was going. “Reed wants us to use her. They were rather insistent on it.”
Rex gave Sam a pitying look. “I know you’re smart, Sam, but I’ve been living and breathing this business since I was old enough to talk. At the end of the day they want the Crawford name on their account. They want the wow factor. They want a campaign that sells. Period.”
“They also want Lila Harris to be involved,” Sam reiterated.
“And share the fee? Send a message to our clients that we’re willing to lose money when we’re paying experienced staff to do better? Why the hell did you agree to this ludicrous arrangement to begin with?” Rex shook his head and scowled. “Let me guess. It’s the girl. You couldn’t resist. You always had a sore spot for her, as I recall.”
“They know about Jolt Coffee,” Sam said.
Rex stood perfectly still. “What do you mean, they know about Jolt Coffee?”
“I have no idea what they know or where they heard it, but they knew something was up. From where I sat, it was use the freelancer of their choosing or walk away.”
Rex began to chuckle softly. “This is perfect!” he roared, pounding a fist on the mahogany desk. “They have no leverage. They wanted the best of both. Some local copywriter to make them look true to their roots and drive home that family feeling. They knew we had a major client pulling out and they used it to their advantage. Now, what they don’t know is that . . . we don’t need them.”
“What are you saying, Rex?”
“Call Reed and reschedule that meeting for Monday. We do this on our terms and we make them want us even more than we want them.”
“It’s a huge risk,” Sam said.
“It’s the only way,” Rex disagreed.
Sam held his brother’s gaze for a beat and then marched over to snatch the bottle of whiskey from his hand. He poured himself a drink and downed it in one gulp. If he went along with this, he’d be throwing away any hope of something developing with Lila. For good. He’d prove himself to be the man she had thought he was for all these years. The man she despised.
The man he didn’t want to be.
“There’s no other way, Sam,” Rex stressed, sensing his hesitation. “It’s for the business. For the family.”
For the family. Sam had never even felt like he was a part of this family, and now he was being asked to sacrifice for it. Again. Just once he’d have liked a pat on the back, some recognition for the effort. Just once he’d like someone in this family to admit that he had a whole life before he came into theirs, and take some interest in it.
They tossed the word family around when it was convenient for them, but was he even really part of them, or would he forever be on the fringes? He could take the risk, find out the hard way, or he could float along, and continue waiting.
It all boiled down to this moment. It was his decision to make.
Chapter Twelve
“I still can’t believe it.” Penny shook her head and pinched her lips a notch tighter. “I just can’t believe it. I thought this was it, Lila. I thought this was the one.”
Lila managed to catch the time on the cuckoo clock behind the visitor chair in her office. She’d been listening to Penny’s woes for the last fifty-five minutes, but she didn’t mind. It was a distraction from her own troubles. And, it prevented her from picking up the phone and calling the one person she shouldn’t. Yesterday, she’d let slide. But today . . .
She had expected to hear from him today. At least about the pitch.
“He looked nothing like his picture. Nothing!” Penny’s large eyes filled with tears, and Lila plucked a tissue from the box she kept on her desk and handed it to her assistant. “I must look ridiculous, crying over a man because he was ten years older and at least fifty pounds heavier than his picture, but that’s not even it. I mean, sure, I wasn’t expecting the missing tooth, but I’m not shallow. And I’m not picky. I just . . . I thought we had a connection.”
Now it was Lila’s turn to pinch her lips. Sam had opened up to her more the other night than he had in the six months that they’d dated in New York. She’d gone over his words all day, trying to imagine him as a young boy, living with his grandmother in a small apartment, knowing his father had turned his back on him and his mother but still wanting to seek him out. Her heart ached for that boy¸ and for the softer, sweeter side of Sam she’d always known was there.
Only now, just like last time, she couldn’t help worrying it had been overshadowed by the other side of Sam. The Crawford side.
“Our e-mails were so funny. I can’t tell you how much I looked forward to them. Every time the inbox pinged, my heart would too.” Penny sniffled. “Then when we met? Silence. Nothing to talk about. I started finding excuses for the waitress to come over, just to break the ice. It was awful. Just awful. And now . . . no more e-mails to look forward to. Back to square one.”
Lila pulled in a breath and released it slowly. She knew the feeling.
“I wish I’d never even met him!” Penny’s eyes suddenly blazed with fury. “I wish I’d just left things alone, kept things as they were. Instead, I had to take it too far and ruin everything!”
“By . . . agreeing to meet him in person?” Lila frowned.
“I loved those e-mails, Lila!” Penny cried. She blew her nose loudly. “Why couldn’t that have been enough? Why push your luck, you know?”
Oh, Lila knew all right. Just when she was finally starting to heal from the pain of their past, she had to tempt fate once more. What did she ever expect to come from this? At best, Sam was going to be returning to New York while she stayed in Chicago. At worst . . . She plucked another tissue from the box and began twisting it in her hands. There were plenty of worst-case scenarios when it came to Sam Crawford.
The cuckoo clock chimed, and all at once the little bluebird appeared. This time, Lila didn’t even jump, but just watched the machine do its thing until all the little figurines slid back behind their doors, and the clock went quiet again. Penny was still sniffling into her wadded tissue, staring despondently at the floor.
“Well, it’s five. I guess I’ll go home to my empty apartment. Spend another weekend alone.”
“Penny!” Lila gave her a smile of encouragement. “You never know. The next one might be it. Life has a way of surprising us like that.”
God, she felt like a hack. Why couldn’t she listen to her own advice, feel a shred of the optimism she was spewing?
Because her heart felt like it was twisting, that’s why. Because she’d let herself fall. She’d let herself care, let herself share.
And because he’d let her in. He let me in. She shook her head. She couldn’t think about it anymore today. He hadn’t called yesterday, or the day before, and it was time to go home. She might even turn off her cell until Monday morning. She just might.
“Come on. I’ll walk out with you.” Lila gathered a few files and tucked them into her bag, just in case she needed a distraction this weekend. Work was always a good escape; she was fortunate she loved what she did.
She thought of Mary, toiling away at the doctor’s office and later, at the bar, and had to hide her face from Penny to mask her sadness. Her sister deserved to have that, too. A sense of pride and ownership. And she could . . . with Sunshine Creamery.
/> Lila flicked off the light in her office as the women walked into the waiting area. On Penny’s desk sat the plant, just as sad and lonely looking as the two of them. “Here. Why don’t you take Fred home for the weekend? I think he could use the company.”
Penny lifted one of his drooping leaves. “I suppose I could, too.” She eyed Lila thoughtfully. “How’s the Reed Sugar campaign coming along? Still canoodling with Sam Crawford? Haven’t heard from him in a while . . .” She hoisted the plant into her arms and followed Lila out the door.
“Sam had to fly back to New York for business,” Lila replied. She turned the key firmly, until she heard it click. “Besides, anything between us is strictly professional.”
Penny raised an eyebrow. That little pinch in her lips had returned. “If you say so.”
***
By Saturday morning, with no missed calls reported on her phone, and the meeting with Reed just five days away, Lila began to panic. The problem, however, was that she couldn’t unravel in front of her sister. And of all days, Mary had the day free.
“I had another great idea last night,” Mary said as she skipped down the stairs of their brownstone. “A customer ordered an apple martini, and I thought . . . why not make cocktail-flavored ice cream?”
Lila adjusted her sunglasses as they began their walk to the park. Her canvas tote was empty and ready for the market, even if her heart wasn’t in it at all. “You have a real passion for this, Mary. I can’t tell you how happy that makes me.” Or how nervous.
Mary’s smile turned shy. “I know I must seem like the flighty sister. . .”
Lila stopped walking for a moment. “Flighty? What are you talking about?”
Mary gave a bashful shrug and kept her eyes on the sidewalk. “I mean, I dropped out of college my senior year—”
“For good reason,” Lila pointed out. She still hated that her sister had been forced to do that, but Lila was working at the time, and well, someone had to pay the rent. “My God, Mary, do you know what kind of sacrifice that was for our family? That’s hardly something to be ashamed of.”
“Yes, but then I never went back,” Mary said. “And look at you. How can I ever compete with that?”
“Compete?” Lila shook her head. Had her sister always felt this way? Sadness pulled at her when she considered the possibility. “Mary, I’m hardly the poster child for success. I got fired from my first job out of college after less than a year. I haven’t had a boyfriend since . . .” Sam. “And I don’t see anyone calling, either.” Again she thought of Sam. The bastard.
“Yes, but look at how far you’ve come! You’ve been back in Chicago, what . . . a little more than six years now? You took a bad situation and turned it into a good one. You work for yourself. You do what you love. You’ve made it, Lila.”
Lila tried to see her life through her sister’s eyes. The office she rented on Armitage Avenue was small, but still, it was her own. And working for herself was certainly better than working for a boss. Oh, sure, she had to report to clients or the agencies that brought her on for project work, but the exchanges were more collaborative. It wasn’t the same as the stress she’d felt when she was in New York, trying to push ideas through a group, hoping to be heard. She had experienced a level of freedom and respect in her freelance career that she hadn’t in all the time she’d worked for PC Advertising. It had been a risk to go out on her own—to forsake the comfort of benefits and a stable salary—but she’d been too rattled by what had happened to try the corporate world again.
She had Sam to thank for that, she supposed.
They’d reached the park by now, but instead of going straight to the farmers market, Lila pulled her sister over to a bench and motioned for her to sit down. “I’ve been thinking, and even though we said we’d only hold on to Sunshine Creamery through the end of the summer, I’m thinking we should extend our time period.”
Mary looked at her quizzically. “What? No.”
Lila gritted her teeth. She hated to deflate her sister’s spirit, but Mary had too much faith in her. It was time to face reality. “Mary, there’s a very good chance I will not get Reed’s business. They’re a national brand, and it was a long shot from the start.”
“Yes, but you know Jeremy!”
“Loosely,” Lila pointed out. “We were classmates almost a dozen years ago. It’s a warm lead, not a sure thing.”
“But what about Sam? He’s a big deal. And if Reed insisted on you as the copywriter—”
Lila tried to mask her frustration. “I’m just saying that we don’t know what’s going to happen yet, and I for one am tired of pinning all my future plans on the whims of one company.” Or one man.
“But Lila, we’ve been over this. Even with my second job and your monthly savings, we’re barely scraping by. Between the funeral expenses, and the hospital bills, and the taxes on the parlor . . . It doesn’t make sense to keep it if we aren’t going to reopen it soon.”
Lila frowned. “Maybe we could move to a smaller apartment. One I could afford without your share of the rent. Then you wouldn’t have to worry about contributing, and you could quit one of the jobs and use that time at Sunshine.”
Mary shook her head sadly. “No, Lila. It wouldn’t work. Besides, we both know that place needs a lot of work. And that’s an upfront cost.”
“It’s just . . . I know this means the world to you.”
“It does,” Mary said softly. “I hate to say this, but Gramps was the only father I ever knew. I . . . I don’t really remember Mom and Dad.” She brushed away a tear that had started to fall. “I’m just not ready to say good-bye yet. I think that pouring all my energy into Sunshine Creamery these last few months has helped me to not think about the loss. It gave me a sense of hope. It gave me a purpose.”
Now it was Lila’s turn to brush away a tear. She sniffed hard, happy for the shade of her sunglasses. “I’m not going to take that away from you.”
Mary patted her hand and squeezed it tightly. “You never could. Just knowing that you support this, that you’re doing all this for me . . . I guess we’ve both made sacrifices for the family.” She smiled sadly.
“Sam left,” Lila blurted, unable to hold it in any longer.
Mary frowned. “What do you mean, he left?”
“He went back to New York,” Lila said. “Wednesday morning.”
Mary gave her a knowing smile. “I thought I heard some commotion that morning . . . When I came home your lights were out and the door was closed. It was late, so I assumed you were asleep. Are you going to tell me you weren’t sleeping alone?”
Lila rolled her eyes. “That’s not the point. The point is that he left, and I haven’t heard from him since.” Three days had gone by without a word. Three entire days. And the meeting with Reed was fast approaching.
“Have you tried calling him?”
Lila hesitated. She’d reached for the phone several times yesterday at the office, but each time she’d stopped herself, telling herself no good would come from it. Silence spoke volumes, and Sam was sending her a message right now. She just wasn’t sure what it was. Or if she even wanted to know. “No, I haven’t called.”
Mary’s eyes widened a notch. “Well, did he say when he’ll be back?”
“He promised he’d be back in time for the meeting. But we still have a lot to do first. He did promise though.” That uneasy feeling had returned, twisting and turning and leaving her nauseous. Lila pressed a hand to her stomach and released a slow breath.
“And do you think he’ll keep to that promise?”
Lila looked her sister square in the eye. “I hope so, Mary. I really, really hope so.”
***
Sam glanced down at his phone, his chest tightening when he saw the name displayed on the screen. He let it ring again, but the sound bothered him. It nagged a part of his mind he didn’t like to touch anymore. The part that was filled with doubt and shame. With the press of a button, he silenced the device, sending th
e call directly to voice mail.
He knew what Lila would say, the questions she would ask. He didn’t have an answer for her. Not about Reed. Not about them. Not yet, anyway.
He bit back the guilt that was building inside him, mixed with desire and a longing for something he wasn’t sure he’d ever have. He’d had too much coffee in the last day and not enough sleep. He felt jittery and agitated, and just thinking of Lila caused his pulse to quicken, and not in a good way. He didn’t need the distraction right now anymore than he needed emotion to factor into this.
What he needed was to clear his head. To be honest with himself. To stop living a double life and start living the life he wanted. Really wanted.
For years he’d thought it was the Crawford name, the security of being Preston’s son. But the perks that came with that were little reward for the cost—for the sacrifices he’d made.
He knew that the Crawfords had their flaws, and he knew his grandmother had shielded him from ever knowing them for that reason, but something deep inside him could never rest. For twelve years he had lived as one of them, lived this life so different from the one he’d known for his first twenty years.
It wasn’t about money—to his father, maybe, but not to him. It was about standing by the only family he had in this world, even if he couldn’t be sure his father would do the same for him. Every time an opportunity like this came around, a chance to show his father he was worth something, a chance to make the distant man proud, he’d felt the need to seize it, for fear of what would happen if he didn’t.
He had tried to be honest about it, tried to be sincere. Since joining his father’s company, he’d focused on doing the best he could, winning accounts, and proving himself to his father. He sacrificed a personal life; the only people he needed were his family, even if they were always barely out of reach. And then Lila had to come into his life, and remind him of what he was missing. Reminded him of another time in his life. A time he’d tried to forget.
He could still remember the way he felt when his father targeted Lila. The icy wash that had flooded his chest. He could still see the scorn in his father’s eyes when Sam asked him to give her one more chance. Preston saw it as a weakness, telling him the only way he could really get ahead was to surround himself with equally strong people. People who would get you where you needed to be, not hold you back.
