Stefan (Lost Nights Series Book 1)

by Jocelynn Drake

  I guess that was why it was so easy to blame the routine for our relaxed state of mind.

  Five days after first meeting Stefan, there was a knock at my apartment door a couple hours after sunset. I knew it wasn’t Stefan, because the vampire didn’t believe he was required to knock on my door like some unknown supplicant — his words. He’d also warned me that it was unlikely that he’d be stopping by for a couple nights because some important dignitaries were in town and he had to deal with them. After dropping that interesting bomb, he quickly left and I was stuck dying to know what the hell he did because I’d forgotten yet again to pry details out of him.

  I opened the door, expecting one of my neighbors looking to borrow some butter or sugar or whatever it was that neighbors borrowed at eight o’clock at night. And then... nothing.

  Someone was pounding on the door. I blinked and gave my head a hard shake, shoving my way through the mental fog toward full consciousness and the dull pain that throbbed in the back of my skull. Turning my head toward the knocking, I was surprised to find that I was across the room, kneeling on the floor. But that didn’t make sense. The last thing I remembered was answering the door. How in the world could I have gotten across the room?

  I made fists with my hands as I prepared to push to my feet to answer the door when I realized that my hands were wet and sticky. I looked down to discover they were covered in blood and a gore-encrusted knife was clenched in my left hand. This was all wrong. Panic rushed through me, causing my breath to jump from me in short little pants. Where was all this blood coming from? I wasn’t hurt. It couldn’t be my blood.

  My gaze followed the trail of blood on the hardwood floor to the body of the woman lying just a few feet from me. Her eyes stared blindly up at the ceiling and her chest was soaked with blood from what looked to be several stab wounds.

  I screamed. I screamed in absolute terror. I screamed in confusion. I screamed and the police banging on my door kicked it in with their guns drawn. But my mind only barely registered them. I screamed as they pulled the knife out of my fingers and put handcuffs on my wrists. I didn’t know what had happened. I had no memory of this dead woman on my floor. I couldn’t remember ever seeing her before, speaking to her, inviting her into my apartment, or stabbing her multiple times.

  When I finally stopped screaming, my throat was raw and my voice was nearly gone. By then, I’d simply shut down. My mind was going around in useless circles, trying to pull up the woman’s face from my memories, but there was nothing there. Just an infinite void as if she’d been swallowed whole by the nothingness.

  At the police station, they’d had to get someone help me wash the blood off my hands before taking my fingerprints, because I couldn’t get my body to move if I wasn’t being pushed or prodded. Everything had become a painful blur of shouting, cold rooms, hard chairs, and bright lights. After an hour of being shouted at by a detective, they finally brought in an interpreter who had a somewhat gentler touch, but they were still looking for me to confess to the gruesome murder. In the end, I managed to ask for a lawyer and I didn’t speak again.

  Dawn was starting to break over the city when I was finally shoved into an empty cell. There was a thin pallet on the floor and a toilet, but nothing else. I was starting to get the impression that they thought I was either a danger to myself or maybe just those around me. My life was crumbling and I couldn’t fathom how it had even happened.

  Was this a result of my accident?

  Five years ago, I had been involved in a horrible car accident that had left me in a coma for three months. I came out with some brain damage that forced me to go through over a year of therapy to relearn many basic things and improve my motor functions. Yet after surviving all of that, what bothered me the most were the enormous gaps in my memory. There were chunks of my past, particularly the year before and after the accident where I remembered nothing. There had been a few other smaller incidents since the accident where I had trouble with my memory, but it tended to be smaller things.

  But this? This was too big. I lost too much time. And the violence? I wasn’t a violent person. I couldn’t hurt another person even if it was to save my own life. At least, I didn’t think I could. Was I more damaged than the doctors had led me to believe? Had they missed something in their hundreds of tests?

  Sitting on the floor on the pallet with my legs drawn up to my chest, I leaned back against the wall and closed my eyes, only to be greeted with the images of the dead woman bleeding across my floor. I was never going to sleep again. Rubbing my burning eyes, I sighed. It was shame that Stefan was already trapped in his secret liar for the day. I had little doubt that the vampire could help me find the truth of what had happened in my apartment.

  And then a puzzle piece finally clicked into place. My stomach lurched and I slapped my hand over my mouth as I fought to keep the stomach acid down. A vampire could have arranged this. When I’d first met Stefan, he’d said that he could wipe my memories. He could make it so that I wouldn’t remember ever meeting him. Had a vampire gotten into my apartment and arranged it all? Had I been attacked and threatened, forced to kill the woman so that I wouldn’t be killed myself? Was this retaliation against Stefan in some way? He’d said that I might be in some kind of danger because of stupidly calling attention to myself that evening in the piazza, but I had never expected something like this.

  Launching myself at the door, I started screaming for a guard. Someone had to start digging into this. I was innocent. I had to be innocent. I couldn’t have killed another human being — not in cold blood. I had to clear my name and the way to do that was through the vampires.

  It felt like more than an hour passed before a guard finally arrived and then it was trying to find an interpreter because my Italian sucked, and then it was a matter of finding someone who would listen to me. After several hours of frustration, I was shoved back into my cell with the distinct impression that nothing was being done. I didn’t think that it was so much that no one believed me, though there was obviously a few who didn’t, but that there was no one willing to do anything about it. Other than the fact that we were talking about vampires, it was daytime. The sun was up. Even if someone was insane enough to question a vampire, they were down for the day!

  By the time the sun set on what turned out to be the world’s longest day in existence, I’d had plenty of time to become thoroughly pissed at myself, Stefan, and vampires in general. I should never have let that asshole bite me. I should never have invited him back to my apartment. I should have made him wipe my memory. I should have fucking left Venice the moment I woke up after being bitten. But did I? No. And now I was seriously fucked.

  As the guards changed and the holding area grew quiet, I sat on the floor with my head in my hands while balancing my elbows on my bent knees, drifting in and out of consciousness. I was too tired to thinking about this mess and I just wanted to go home. Jerking at the sound of my door opening when I figured that no one else would be disturbing me for the rest of the night, I looked up to find Stefan standing in the opening.

  The first thing I noticed was his expression. He didn’t look sad or worried to see me sitting inside of an Italian jail wearing an itchy bright orange jumpsuit. No, the asshole actually looked pissed and a little put out at having to be there. I glared back at him, clenching my teeth as the first wave of relief was instantly crushed by the anger that had filled me through the day.

  “Did you kill her?” he asked.

  He didn’t ask: How are you? Are you okay? Are you hurt? Or even, I’m sorry that this has happened to you.

  “What the fuck?” I snarled. “Did you really just dare to ask me that?” Shoving to my feet, I stomped over to him. “Do you really think so little of me to believe that I am capable of killing a total stranger?”

  Stefan paused, staring at me as he thought about his response, which only succeeded in angering me more. He had to think about it. He didn’t just know that I was incapable of such a thing.<
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  “No,” he replied. “I don’t think you could kill someone in cold blood. But you could in self-defense.”

  “No, I couldn’t!” I shouted. Throwing my arms up in the air, I paced away from Stefan, but I didn’t have far to go before I was forced to walk back toward him. “It’s not who I am. I couldn’t harm another person no matter what the circumstances are and I certainly couldn’t kill someone.”

  I shook my head. The anger slipped away from me, what little energy I had left spent in a flash. “How could you think that I could?” My voice cracking despite my effort to remain firm. I blinked back the tears that I didn’t think I was capable of producing. I didn’t want to cry because I was afraid once I started I wouldn’t be able to stop until I was in a fetal position on the floor.

  “I can’t read your mind.”

  “I can’t read your mind either, but I think I have a pretty good handle on what you’re capable of based on the time we’ve spent together. You know me, Stefan, even if you can’t read my mind.”

  For the first time since stepping into my cell, Stefan’s expression softened and sadness bled into his cold gray eyes. “My first instinct was to deny their claims. I didn’t think you could do this, but I had to be sure. This human’s death has created some complications for us.”

  A harsh, bitter laugh escaped me. “No shit.”

  Stefan stepped back, motioning for me to follow. “We need to go now.”

  “What? No! I can’t escape. I won’t be a fugitive. That would only make everything worse.”

  “We’ve handled the human police. They have no memory of you or the dead woman.”

  I took a hesitant step forward, but remained out of arm’s reach for him. “You can do that? What about the person who actually killed the woman? You can’t just let a killer run free.”

  “The death of the woman has become a matter for my people.”

  That sounded really bad. I took a step backward toward the wall, as a new fear twisting in my stomach. “Why?”

  “The dead human in your apartment was a favored pet of another nightwalker. She’s demanding that you stand trial before the Coven for the crime of killing her.”

  There was a lot in that statement that I didn’t understand, but none of it sounded particularly good. “No.”

  “Erin,” Stefan said in a low, warning voice.

  “No, Stefan. I’m staying here.” I flopped back down on the thin mattress on the floor and crossed my arms over my chest. “I’d rather take my chances with the humans than deal with the vampires. I have no doubt that it was some freaking vampire that got me into this mess and I’m done with the lot of you. Done!”

  “I’m sorry, ma petite, but that option is no longer available to you,” Stefan said gently. For the first time, he looked truly sorry about the state of my life. I didn’t know whether to think that this was his fault. Or maybe not really his fault, but rather the fault of his people since I seriously didn’t think that he had intended for me to be hurt.

  A soft sigh escaped me as my arms fell slack into my lap. I closed my eyes, wishing I could block out the world, or at least my little part of it. There was no getting away. I could either go willingly or Stefan was going to drag my stubborn ass.

  “Will you be able to protect me? Will we be able to get to the truth of the matter and clear my name?”

  The silence stretched so long that I was forced to finally look up at Stefan. The vampire looked torn between impotent rage and frustration. “I don’t know.”

  With those three words, I heard a door slamming shut in my mind. Opportunities and avenues my life might have traveled down were closing forever. I was headed down a path I had never foreseen for myself and it didn’t look pretty.

  Chapter 5

  Stefan held me close in his arms, tucked tightly against his body, as we flew above the world. I wrapped my hands in his shirt while burying my head in his neck. The air whipping past was cool, but it helped. It sucked my breath away and cooled my temper. I needed to be clear headed. I didn’t know what I was in for, but I knew that I needed to think clearly if I was going to get out of this mess alive. Dear God, was that even an option anymore?

  Neither of us spoke. There were a hundred things I wanted to ask him, but I couldn’t decide what might be the most important. Was there a way to save my skin? But if I could save myself, would it put Stefan in danger? I didn’t want to hurt Stefan. Hell, this was a mess.

  It was several minutes later before we landed on an island in the middle of the Lagoon away from the core of Venice. Woods rose up along a gravel path. Lights peeked through the trees on the far side of the island, but what had my attention was the massive stone building rising up not far from us. Lit torches were on either side of the large doors guarded by a pair of muscular men who looked as if they spent all their free time at the gym.

  Stefan set me on my feet, but didn’t move forward. I looked up at him to find him glaring at the building. This was our destination, but it certainly didn’t look like a happy place.

  As we stood there, one of the guards turned and opened a door. A tall, dark haired man in jeans and a button-down shirt stepped out of the building and walked briskly down the stairs toward us. His pale skin glowed in the moonlight and there was something all too fluid in his movement, reminding me of Stefan. He was a vampire.

  Stefan’s hand clamped down on my elbow and he roughly pulled me behind him.

  “I don’t mean you any trouble, Stefan,” the man said, holding up his hands as he stopped just a few feet away from us.

  “What do you want?”

  “I was sent for her,” he said, jerking his chin toward me as I peeked around Stefan at the man. He winked at me, and I swear I thought I heard Stefan growl. Did people actually growl? Of course, as soon as I had the thought, I tucked it away. Stefan wasn’t human. He was a freaking vampire and the sooner I remembered that the better off I was going to be.

  The other man looked from me to Stefan, his expression calculating before he carefuly said, “You can’t take her in.” The other vampire shoved his hands into his pockets, looking completely relaxed as if he didn’t have a care in the world, but there was a shrewdness to his eyes that made me think his demeanor was only a facade. “Two fledglings have been brought before the coven tonight for entertainment. That could work in her favor.”

  “I don’t think much is going to help,” Stefan muttered softly, but he loosened his tight hold on my arm. “Does your presence mean that she supports me?”

  “No.”

  With that cold word, I felt Stefan flinch, his hand tightening almost painfully on my arm as if he was preparing to fight or flee. I didn’t know who the “she” they were talking about was, but I was getting the impression that she held some serious power in Stefan’s world.

  “But she thought you might trust me,” the stranger continued. “Keep you from digging yourself an even deeper grave. Or maybe I should say, I deeper grave for her.”

  A chill ran down my spine and I shivered, but I was willing to accept any help I could get at this point. Stefan grunted softly and the tension eased from his shoulders. “Prepare her. She doesn’t understand our world.” He then turned around to face me so I could see the lines of worry cutting into his face. Gently, he cupped my cheeks with both of his hands and tried to smile, but it never reached his eyes. “Do you trust me?”

  “I... I don’t know,” I stammered, trying not to be drawn in by the fear in his gaze. “You didn’t trust me.”

  “I know and I was wrong. Things will happen tonight. I will be different than you have known me. I need you to trust me; trust that I am trying to do what is best for you.”

  I closed my eyes for a second, soaking in his touch. Exhaustion burned through every inch of my trembling frame. The only fuel left in me was adrenaline and fear. I wanted to go somewhere safe and sleep for a day, maybe even a week. After that, maybe I could deal with all this, but that wasn’t an option. So for now, I was willing to
trust Stefan. This was his world, not mine.

  “I trust you,” I whispered.

  Stefan pressed a kiss to my forehead. I opened my eyes, and he was simply gone as if he’d never been there. My shoulders slumped and I stared at the building, my dread growing in my chest.

  “I can’t read your mind,” the other vampire said in surprise, drawing my attention back to him.

  Rubbing my sore and burning eyes, I sighed. My shoulders slumped and some warning voice in my head screamed that I should be scared to be left alone with some unknown vampire, but I just couldn’t find the energy. That and Stefan wouldn’t actually leave with a vampire who would hurt me, right? “Yeah, neither can Stefan. I’m beginning to think that vampires can’t read my mind. I can’t say that I’m sorry about that.”

  “You might change your mind about that after tonight.”

  We stared at each other in silence for several seconds as if weighing the other’s attributes and appearance. I don’t know what the vampire finally came away with, but he gave me a reassuring smile in the end and I hoped that he hadn’t decided that I’d make a really yummy snack. I wasn’t feeling particularly yummy and I didn’t think I could stand to lose another pint of blood. Stefan hadn’t fed from me in several days, but I was too damn tired. Losing anything was just going to leave me curled up in an unconscious ball.

  “I’m Knox,” the vampire said at last.