Kill or Be Killed: A Reverse Harem Paranormal University Academy Romance (Cain University Book 2)
Page 21
"It's too late to change anything," I remind him. "Eve has some pills I can take. Let yourself go." Licking my lips, I decide to try some dirty talk myself. "Come inside me, Levi. I want to feel your cum in my pussy."
A strangled choke. Thrusting his cock deep inside me, he buries his shaft balls deep, and I feel him twitch. Grabbing his shoulders, I draw him down on top of me and kiss his mouth. His helpless whimper is buried against my lips as he grabs my hips and fucks me with abandon, no longer a single barrier between us, the warmth of his cock head pressing inside me.
With a shudder and a few wild thrusts of his hips, he releases himself inside me in a single stroke. His face falls into pleasure, his lips gasping, wetness filling me up. I stroke his hair back from his forehead, enjoying the way he twitches and groans, my body making him lose control.
As he's coming down, his body warm and lanky on top of me, a sound catches my attention. Some kind of thump. It's probably a weapon falling off the weapons rack, I tell myself, as Levi presses his mouth against mine, my heels digging into his lower back. We melt against each other, intertwined in every way, our bodies relaxed and sated. He pulls out slowly, revealing a slick cock, the latex barrier torn to shreds at the base of his shaft.
"I guess I fucked you too hard," he jokes.
Then I hear the distinct sound of a strangled, choked voice.
Scrambling away from Levi, I turn and—of course. I don't know why I didn't think it wouldn't turn out this way.
Mason has caught us.
Chapter 22
I've really got to get my own room with a lock, before my Conduits kill each other because I keep fucking one at a time. Based on the heat that blooms in Mason's face as he stares at Levi, who's naked on the ground and scrambling for his clothes, there's only one thought on his mind: murder.
Only I can change that, but I don't know how. Standing slowly, I try to catch his gaze and gently remind him, "It's been over between us for nearly a week, Mason. We were never going to be in a relationship."
"That doesn't make it any better to watch his cum drip down your thighs." I wince, and his fists clench, his eyes narrowing at his friend as the poisoner slips his boxers on and rakes a hand through his hair. "What the fuck, man? You came inside her? You should be protecting her!"
Before Levi can get himself in trouble with his big mouth, I jump between them and calmly explain, "The condom broke. It could happen to anyone. The first time you and I had sex, you didn't even have a condom, and we had to have one fetched. Besides, I can make my own choices—no one forced me into anything here."
"So you're picking him." There's real pain in Mason's voice, and it feels like a stab to the gut as he looks at me with those sad, accusatory eyes. "Levi. Out of all of us? At least if you'd picked Wyatt, I could understand. Grayson—well, I can't exactly beat a man with a cane to death, even if he'd deserve it. But Levi? You don't even like Levi."
"She likes me plenty," Levi grouses, before I can stop him. "In fact, I think she likes me eight inches worth."
Mason snorts. "Like hell you're that big."
"Want to take yours out and compare?"
"Shut. The fuck. Up." I glare at the two of them. "The only way I'm letting you guys compare dick sizes in front of me is if you're going to sixty-nine each other. And somehow I doubt you're about to swap blowjobs right now."
Mason makes a noise of disgust, but Levi just raises his brows speculatively. "I did once swallow that banana in one bite, and the snake charmer lady said it was really impressive."
Unable to stop myself, I close my eyes and put a hand over my mouth, trying to swallow a laugh. Mason glares—at me, at Levi, it's hard to tell. But I have to admit, as obnoxious as he is, as often as he makes me roll my eyes, Levi can also make me happy. While expecting nothing in return. And I can't hide that I appreciate it, not completely. Liking him is too easy to resist.
Watching me try to hide my laughter at Levi's words, Mason's eyes grow sad, and it feels like my heart is being ripped in two. "I see." He looks back and forth between the two of us. "I guess I should leave you two alone to cuddle and say sweet nothings into your ears."
"It's not like that!" I protest, frustrated at all of this. "I just wanted a hookup. That's all. And I figured Levi was the least likely to develop feelings for me, or vice versa."
"Yeah, thats—wait." Levi's bragging is cut off as he processes my words. "You think I'm shallow, don't you? And you're not even attracted to my personality at all, even though I'm a catch."
“That’s not true. You make me laugh," I tell him, which makes Mason's mouth thin out unhappily. Throwing my hands up, I raise my voice. "Now I feel like I'm the tightrope walker! What am I supposed to say, what am I supposed to do? Feelings are dangerous. Sex is dangerous. But when I try to keep my distance, disasters happen, like today. We need to all be on the same page, and we can't do that if all of you are always bickering jealously and expecting me to somehow keep the balance between you. We're supposed to forge this grand, epic, fated connection, but I can't do that if the instant I try to figure out how with one of you, the other three throw temper tantrums."
Looking down and away, Mason observes, "I've been trying to pull you away, and that's selfish. I know that I can't expect more from you than what you're able to give. Especially after everything you've been through."
Tilting his head, Levi wryly asks, "Do you mean the part where her boyfriend nearly beat her to death over and over, the fact that she killed him to survive, or everything the four of us put her through because we were convinced she needed to be Marked? You should be more specific, Mason. Otherwise who knows what you're talking about."
Despite myself, I laugh, because sometimes that's the only way to get through the dark spaces that have filled up parts of my life. Taking a tentative step towards Mason, I tell him, "I just need some time. I like you. For fuck's sake, I like all of you—don't say anything, Levi, or I'll take it back. I even like Grayson sometimes, when he's not acting like he was manufactured in an asshole factory. So stop with the pissing contests and let me have some space to figure out how to navigate all of... this."
I find myself motioning from my naked body, to Levi's mostly naked state, to Mason, who's somehow the most awkward while fully clothed.
"I'm game if the others are," Levi says, casually cocking a hip to one side. "I know how to balance. Just tell me where you want me, when, and how clothed, and we'll figure it out."
Mason spares him a brief, withering glare, but when I snap my fingers he breaks away, like a dog distracted by a big juicy bone. The bone, in this case, is my naked body, still flushed, slightly sweaty, and giving off sex smells.
"I'll give you some space," Mason says, "but I need some hope to do it. Do you ever think you'll be ready for something more than, well, a smartass who makes noise when he tiptoes? Because I can't keep acting like I don't see the way you look at me. And I know I'm not the only one who feels this way, either. You can be scared all you want, but don't lie to me."
His words are a blow, getting straight to my vulnerable core and exposing me in a way being physically nude comes nowhere near. Crossing my arms over my chest, I tentatively nod.
"I'll try," I tell him, but as he starts to smile, I warn, "but no guarantees. I'm not the most emotionally available, and even if I were, I have other commitments. We're not exactly at community college here. Slacking off on extracurriculars is not an option."
"I won't try to pull you away from the important stuff." As Levi clears his throat, Mason rolls his eyes and add, "And I won't try to pull you away from your empty hookups. I just need you to tell me it could happen. If not today, then someday. Hopefully soon."
As my heart does a somersault, I shyly admit, "It could."
"Good." He nods sharply, and tugs nervously at the bottom of his braid. "Then I'll talk to the others. And maybe we can take some of this off your plate. That way, we can focus on our Mark—together, instead of separately."
"I'd like
that." After a long moment, I decide to tell him, "I'd like it if you'd kiss me, too."
Eyeing Levi briefly, Mason strides forward, and confidently looks down into my face. He tilts my chin up, studying me briefly, his eyes sinking into every line as if he's memorizing the way I look.
I wonder if he's afraid that this might be our last kiss.
I'm a little afraid that it might be the start of something I'm not ready for, but I know that this moment won't come around a second time.
The kiss is brief, but deep and passionate, filled with everything he's held back the past few days. It's every look full of longing and kicked puppy dog eyes, every bit of envy he felt seeing me with another guy, and a promise of many kisses to come. When he breaks away from it, I feel out of breath, and more naked than I was even just moments ago in the middle of sex.
"Tell me when you're ready," Mason murmurs in my ear, his fingers delicately looping my hair back behind my ears. "I'll be there."
Then he walks away, his silhouette engulfed by the shadows on the stairs as he disappears up them, braid swinging behind him.
Levi clears his throat. "So, wanna go for a second round? There's this one position, you on your stomach, and I put my cock—"
Rolling my eyes, I grab his shoulders and draw him towards me for a scorching kiss that shuts him up—and makes his cock twitch as it gets half-hard in preparation for what's to come.
By the time we're done, I'm exhausted, and Levi is, for the first time since I met him, completely silent.
Until he falls asleep and starts to snore.
There's one goal for the remainder of the semester, until the moment we get our chance: training. Not just working on our powers, either, but working on this connection we have. It's time to smooth down the rough patches and figure out a way to get along, even—and especially—when the going gets tough.
Too bad not all of the guys are cooperating.
"I want you to know, I'm aware of your arrangement with Levi," Wyatt says calmly as I take his hand, his words making me stare at him with shock, "and I'm fine with it. In fact, I don't care at all. So what if you chose to have casual sex with the biggest idiot on this campus—I can find any girl I want, any time I want, without you. I don't need a smooth tongue or dumb jokes to charm women. Do whatever you want."
That's as many words as he's said to me in days, making it clear that he's hurt. I don't know how to tell him that I want nothing more than to sink into his arms, but that I'm afraid. Talking to Eve confirmed my worst fear: what Grayson said is true, and Wyatt is confirming it again right now. He gets bored of girls after a few rounds.
Sure, they probably don't wind up holding conversations with him that last for hours, so maybe he's right that all the women he's slept with think he's dumb. But from what Eve said, the girls aren't usually the ones who cut things off. Wyatt is—and he moves on to the next offering without looking back, at times going from one girl to another in a week.
As far as Eve and all the gossips at school know, Wyatt hasn't slept with anyone since I came along. That doesn't mean he won't, though. And I can only imagine how much it'll hurt both of us if something goes wrong between us. After everything that's gone down with the guys so far, I just can't stand to imagine Wyatt hurt.
Seeing him burn his hand because I failed to protect him nearly broke me.
So I'll let him move on. Unlike Mason, he'll be able to. Like he said, there's another girl waiting around the corner. It stings, but it's for the best. I'm already swimming in testosterone trying to keep Mason and Levi from stabbing each other, and that's not even factoring in prickly Grayson. The sooner we smooth things out between us all, the faster we'll kill Lionel Copenhagen, and the fewer victims he'll murder.
Gritting my teeth, I tell Wyatt, "I'm disappointed that you're lashing out, but as long as we can work together, I'm good."
It's a lie, but it's a lie he swallows. We muddle along somehow through training, and classes. I hook up with Levi, and try to figure out if I'm ready for something more with Mason. While he lets himself hold hands with me when necessary, Grayson begins to fade away each time we part, like the pain is worse when he's yanked back into it after getting the briefest of reprieves.
I try not to want something more with any of them. I fail anyway. I want it all, but I don't think I have anything to give in return. We stay in this stalemate, almost connecting but not quite, resentful and bitter despite all the promises we make that we'll try to be better.
The Black Serpent's words haunt me. I can't help feeling like my powers are a shadow of what they'd be if I somehow connected authentically with my Conduits. But I don't know what that looks like. Even worse, I'm afraid what weakness will show up if I give in to them. Maybe it makes me a coward, but I don't want to wind up like Grayson or Wyatt, unable to fully be myself. I don't want to lose what I love like Levi did, either, or risk my life every time I face off in battle, like Mason.
When I dream about my weakness, it's always something terrible. I lose the ability to laugh. To cry. To walk. To speak at all. Or I lose my memories of my mom, and with them, my ability to love at all.
Slowly, I start to feel like I'm going insane. Instructor Abarra starts to see it in training—she knows that I'm holding back. What she doesn't know is that I'm afraid if I embrace my powers and my Conduits fully, I'll lose something I value most, and I don't even know what that will be. For weeks, we barely make progress, and even the guys start to get fed up with me.
Then Headmaster Shu tells us that Lionel has been found.
Chapter 23
Lionel Copenhagen is in a suburb of Dallas, Texas. When I look it up on my phone, the street view shows hulking houses made of brick with giant front yards and pools out back. It's basically the last place I expect a serial killer to hide—the sun it so bright you'd think he wouldn't be able to stand it.
If the guys and I were some kind of team that put colorful rings together and became one person, we'd just show up and take care of business. But we can barely look at each other. Things are even awkward with Levi—the last time we got together, he asked me out on a date, and both of us seemed equally shocked. I keep trying to keep my distance, yet somehow I wind up holding hands with them and having strained moments of sexual tension on a near-daily basis.
Standing in Headmaster Shu's office with the guys, I can almost feel the catalogue of unsaid words. All the guys are mad at Levi for getting to sleep with me most recently. Wyatt is frustrated with me for overlooking him, and Mason is trying not to rush me into something serious. Grayson is, well, Grayson; he could glare a person into their grave for stealing the last bite of mashed potatoes. Levi keeps trying to take back the other day when he asked me if I wanted to go out with him then promptly acted like it was a joke. You could cut the tension in here with a knife, and we haven't even left on our mission yet.
"I expect your mission to go more smoothly this time," Headmaster Shu says, pacing back and forth on her side of the desk. "I made allowances for last time because Copenhagen has slipped even some of our most senior assassins, but the semester is almost over. Your deadline is arriving. Figure it out. There are five of you, with some of the most powerful Affinities on campus, and one Brutus. Surely with those odds you can kill one man." She pushes a map towards me. "This is where he was last sighted. Find him, and bring me his head."
I take the map, staring down at the mark on it with no small amount of trepidation. Shu has helpfully written the longitude and latitude of our final destination on the expansive piece of paper, just to really make sure we know where we're going. No excuses this time, no second chances. Either we track him down and kill him, or we risk expulsion and everything it brings.
"We'll do it," I tell her, feeling like the biggest liar in the world. "When we come back to campus, Lionel Copenhagen will be dead."
Or the five of us will be. Whichever comes first.
"One last training session before we go, huh? Seems to be going swimmingly so far." Le
vi grunts as he picks himself up off the ground and raises his hands in a fighter's stance. "You know, Wyatt, you were supposed to punch the target. Not me."
"Was I?" Wyatt sends a smirk in his direction, holding on tight to my hand. "Oops. I missed."
Frowning, I glare up at Wyatt. "You're being a real asshole. It's not like you."
Grayson snorts. "It's like him all the time. You've just barely known him. If it weren't for his weakness, that mouth of his would be getting him in trouble on a daily basis."
"The last thing we need right now is trouble." Yanking my hand out of Wyatt's, I tell him, "No more trouble. If you can't be nice, maybe your tongue should stay tied."
In a singsong voice, Levi calls out, "Wy-att is in trou-ble."
Then he trips over nothing and falls on his face in the training room, making so much noise that I swear there's a ringing in my ears for while. Wyatt and Mason burst out into laughter at Levi's noise, and Grayson just smirks superiorly.
I'm tired of this. I want them to get along. I know they did before me, when they had no one to argue with—or fight over. Our connection, as strong as it can make us, has also made us weak.
"You four are going to get us all killed." I stare them down, real anger in my voice, wanting this all to be taken care of and over with finally. "Stop this before it's too late."
"You're one to talk." Grayson narrows his eyes in my direction. "Maybe we'd all get along better if you'd stop playing with our attraction to you like it's some kind of game."
His words sting, because there's truth to them. I've gone back and forth. I made choices only to change my mind. I know that I hurt them each in different ways, even if I didn't mean to.
"It's not that I mean to play games," I tell them, feeling how it sounds like an excuse even as I say it. "It's just that I don't know what I want. And I don't know how to let you all down gently. So I tried to do what would hurt everyone the least, and somehow it didn't work."