Love Desired

by Kelli McCracken

  It wasn’t platonic.

  I wanted to be her friend, and more importantly, I wanted to keep her safe. It still infuriated me that she had been right about Wesley weaseling his way out of any charges she brought against him for hitting her. Somehow, his lawyer had convinced a few board members that Wesley had temporary insanity. He blamed Mia for flaunting a new relationship in his face, a new relationship with me.

  At least the board didn’t dismiss the charges. It was an immense strike against Wesley, especially after she filed a restraining order against him. Instead of communicating with Mia, he now had to speak with Andi about all business matters.

  He was also on probation. Any other acts he committed against Mia would be grounds for immediate dismissal. It didn’t guarantee her safety, which is where I came in. Yeah, she had plenty of security on site. What she needed was a bodyguard. I did my best to fill that role every chance I could because deep down, I didn’t trust Wesley.

  “Dude, where’s my beer?”

  Bentley’s voice sent my thoughts scattering. He took the seat next to me and motioned for Max to bring us a round of drinks. Once the bartender confirmed the order, my friend looked at me.

  “I’m late. Sorry. I ran into Jason and Ryan in the condo. They’re still hanging out with those two choreographers that were staying in the other suites.”

  “Glad to hear they’re, uh, meeting people.”

  “Yeah, well, it didn’t stop them from giving us seven kinds of shit. You should have heard what they were saying about us talking to Andi and Mia.”

  “You’re talking to Andi. Mia and I are just friends.”

  Bentley shook his head. “Maybe right now. I don’t know if you’re blind or afraid to admit it, but Mia is into you.”

  “Stay out of this, Ben. We’ve already been down this road. Let me handle it.”

  Shrugging, Bentley straightened his back once he spotted Max walking our way. “Suit yourself. I’m just saying, I think you and Mia are more involved than what you think. You just haven’t admitted to anyone that you’re dating, including yourselves.”

  Max set our drinks in front of us as he greeted us with a smile. “Evening, guys. Here are a couple of beers to get you started. Let me know when you need something else.”

  “Thanks, Max.” Bentley waited until he went to another part of the bar before refocusing on me. “Drink up, buddy. I know you need your liquid courage to help you talk to Mia.”

  This time, nothing was holding me back. I punched Bentley in the arm and laughed when he winced. It served him right. He was always talking shit.

  “Worry about your relationship with Andi and leave me alone. You haven’t been through the shit I have. Your girlfriend hasn’t had her heart broken the way Mia has. We’re taking things slow.”

  “The fact that you know that about her is proof of what I’m saying. You spend all your free time with her. We meet up long enough to grab a few beers and shoot the shit, but when the girls arrive, you’re gone again.”

  “And you aren’t?” I took a drink of my beer and waited for him to reply. All he did was nod. Good. At least he didn’t lie. “Why do we have to put a label on something? We’re friends. We have things in common, and I like spending time with her. Besides, I’m making sure Wesley leaves her alone.”

  “Trust me, dude. That guy has to walk a straight line right now. He isn’t about to do anything stupid.”

  “Guess you’ve never been that desperate, huh?”

  Bentley rolled his eyes at me and downed half his beer. When he finished, he surveyed the bar and stopped in the spot I expected—the stool where Andi was sitting. She and Mia were still at the end of the opposite bar, working on something. They did a lot of work at the bar in the evenings. Maybe it’s because it made them more available to their guests. It didn’t matter to me. As long as she was in my sight, I had peace of mind.

  As she ended a phone call, she spoke with Andi, who was closing her laptop and a couple of books she had opened. She gave them to one of the bartenders to place behind the bar. Both were off their stools a moment later.

  My anticipation grew. I knew what was next. Both women were coming to find Bentley and me. I’d spent all day thinking about this moment. Despite what Bentley thought, I didn’t need his help with Mia.

  After tonight, she would know exactly how I felt about her.

  * * *

  ~Mia~

  I shoved my phone into my back pocket and took the last drink of my cocktail. I hadn’t planned on drinking it until I got a phone call from one of the agents interested in Breaking Silence. Consequently, it was the same one who caused me to be late for our first date.

  Date. I was thinking in those terms again. It was risky to do such a thing, but I didn’t know what else to call it. Things changed between Ayden and me after that night. It had to do with Wesley, what he did and the things he said.

  It didn’t help that the board didn’t approve of his firing. I knew he would get out of it somehow. Spinning the blame around to me didn’t surprise me. At least he was ordered to leave me alone. I hated that Andi had to deal with him, but I didn’t trust him.

  I had a feeling Ayden didn’t either. He spent a lot of his free time checking on me or hanging out. Even when I was busy working, I felt his eyes on me.

  They were at this moment too. I noticed him walk into the bar earlier. He and Bentley always sat in the same spot on the right-hand side, near the corner. Whenever I felt this overwhelming tug in my chest, I found him looking in my direction.

  “You ready to get out of here?” Andi handed her things to Justin, one of the bartenders who worked behind the left bar where we were sitting. He brought me a new drink now that I’d finished the one in front of me.

  “I’ve been ready to go for the last twenty minutes.”

  “That’s about how long your phone call lasted.” Andi chuckled as I rubbed my forehead.

  “That man is going to be the death of me.”

  “Who? Dave Shultz?” She grinned when I nodded. “Oh Mia, you know Dave is just a big pussycat.”

  “He’s a pain in my ass when he wants to be.” I stood and grabbed my glass off the bar as she joined me. “I tolerate him because he is a successful agent. The bands he works with have great success once they leave us.”

  “So he’s interested in the guys?”

  Nodding at her question, we made our way around the bar toward the spot where Ayden and Bentley were sitting. “He’s been calling me off the hook since he received the demo, trying to undercut everyone else. I told him he has to wait like a good boy.”

  Andi snickered and mumbled something. I wasn’t listening once Ayden came into my view. He and Bentley were finishing off a beer. When he spotted me, he didn’t turn away.

  There was something in his eyes, something that I hadn’t noticed before today. It drew me in. I couldn’t look away if I wanted. Something was on his mind. I wasn’t sure if it was good or bad, but before the night was over, I had a feeling I’d find out either way.

  Andi greeted Bentley and sat on the stool on his other side while I took the one beside Ayden. I tried to speak, but the words stuck in my throat. There was tension between us, just not the harmful kind. It was similar to the same tugging sensation I always felt around him, only now it had my belly fluttering.

  “Hey,” he said softly.

  “Hey, Ayden. I’m sorry we’re running behind tonight.”

  “I saw you on the phone and figured it was important. No worries. You’re here now.”

  My heart beat a little faster at his words. Within the last couple of months, we’d gotten to know each other better. I still didn’t have his whole life story, but I knew more about his family and his life back in Tennessee.

  Neither of us talked about our exes since the night Wesley hit me. I didn’t bring it up. Rehashing the past didn’t help.

  “I was talking with one of the agents again. He received the demo and is even more determined to represent yo
u guys.”

  His brows rose. “Seriously?”

  “Yes. He wants to sign you now, but I told him that he has to wait. He’s a great agent. It’s just that I want to make sure you guys have the best representation.”

  Ayden’s mouth parted like he would say something else, but he didn’t. Instead, he took a drink from the other beer sitting in front of him. I wished he would tell me what was on his mind.

  Once he placed the bottle on the bar, he refocused on me. “I, uh . . . I still can’t believe any of this is happening. You’ve done so much for us.”

  “I made you a promise when you got here, Ayden. I intend to keep it. Your band will be a huge success.”

  He gazed at me for the longest time before he raised his beer. “Cheers to that.”

  I lifted my glass to his bottle, clinking them together. We didn’t drink them right away. There was a silent stare down between us, one that spoke of wonder as much as gratitude. Yet there was something else. Curiosity and desire.

  As he placed his beer to his lips, I did the same with my glass. The liquor only heated my body more than what it was. I needed something to cool me. If not, I’d succumb to the heat Ayden was instilling in me.

  His beer emptied into his mouth as the last of my drink did the same. When we set them on the counter, he glanced over his shoulder. I spotted Andi and Bentley making their way to the dance floor. Apparently, he did too. His eyes returned to mine, but this time, he was smiling. He extended his hand a second later and clasped mine.

  “Let’s join them.”

  Once I nodded, he led me to the dance floor, drawing me through the crowd already there. When we stopped, I didn’t see Andi or Bentley. Not that I cared with the way Ayden was gazing at me. He drew me closer as his hands rested on my hips. I loved the feel of them, the warmth they emitted, the way they curled around me, how he gently squeezed them when we began to sway.

  Every part of me was alive. It was like tiny jolts of electricity flowing through me. If Ayden knew how much I wanted him, would he be holding me this close? We were friends, yet this dance, it was more than friendly.

  Maybe it was just me, what I wanted, what I needed. My mind was playing tricks on me, making me believe there was something more. A part of me needed more, it needed to be loved.

  “You’re more quiet than usual.” Ayden’s voice sank into my thoughts. I studied his face, unsure how to answer.

  “It’s been a long day. I guess I have a lot on my mind.”

  “Is something wrong?”

  His face tightened from concern. I hated the thought of him worrying about me. He had no reason to stress over anything.

  “Nothing’s wrong. I just . . .” I struggled to speak, finally giving up as I hung my head. I didn’t want to lie to him.

  He tipped my chin a moment later, forcing me to look at him. “You can talk to me. Surely you know that by now.”

  “I do. It’s just difficult to express what I’m feeling.”

  His brow folded. “Did I do something?”

  “No,” I cupped his cheek, somewhat regretting my reaction after I did. I started to pull my hand away, but Ayden caught my wrist. He held it as he studied me. Then he teased my skin with his fingertips.

  “Talk to me. I want to know what’s on your mind.”

  “You are.”

  I pressed my lips together, cursing myself for the confession. I hadn’t meant to say it aloud, but I lost my inhibition. How could I tell him the truth? How could I lie?

  As he spun us, I blocked out the crowd, focusing on him. His curiosity was in full force. “Why am I on your mind?”

  I swallowed hard. “Isn’t it obvious? I’m managing your band. You’re always on my mind.”

  It wasn’t a complete lie, but it wasn’t exactly the truth. Yes, Ayden was always on my mind. Part of that was because we were working together. The other part was a direct result of my desire. The fantasies I had about the two of us . . . They controlled many of my thoughts.

  Ayden’s movements grew slower, his grip on me, tighter. Our bodies pressed together, building a level of heat I couldn’t ignore. Something about his face said he wasn’t buying my answer.

  “Is that the only reason?” His voice hit a huskier tone, one that made my insides shake.

  “No,” I confessed.

  “Then tell me the rest.”

  My throat grew dry. Admitting my thoughts would leave me vulnerable. It terrified me to open up to someone again. Twice I’d been burned. Would this time be any different?

  “Mia . . .”

  My knees grew weaker as his gaze grew deeper. I felt like he was reading my soul. Did he know my secret? Did he know how much I wanted him to be a permanent part of my life?

  He couldn’t be. My whole purpose of bringing him here was to help his band find success. Once he did, he would be on tour a lot. Granted, he would get time off, but could I have a relationship with him if he was gone more than he was around?

  Could I trust him enough?

  I froze at the thought. All of this reminded me of my first relationship. I didn’t want the complications that came along with it. Ayden deserved to be successful. I couldn’t hold him back.

  Easing out of his embrace, I took a couple of steps back. His face scrunched together, and he began shaking his head. Before he could speak, I raised my hand.

  “I can’t do this again, Ayden. I’m sorry.”

  “Do what?”

  I heard his question as I pivoted on my heel. I had to get out of here and get away from him before I said too much. This wasn’t fair to him or me.

  “Mia, wait. Don’t leave.”

  He pleaded with me to stay as I proceeded toward the door. It was too late. My mind was made up. I was not letting the past repeat itself.

  Chapter 9

  ~Ayden~

  I’d never been so confused in my life as I was the moment Mia broke out of my embrace and apologized. Watching her walk away shook my soul. I’d pushed her too hard. Now she didn’t want to be near me.

  Contemplating what to do, I felt like a fool standing on the dance floor, jilted by the rejection of a woman. I was an idiot to think I could tell Mia the truth, that I wanted her a hell of a lot more than the success she was promising. If Bentley caught wind of what happened, I would never hear the end of it.

  I double-checked the dance floor, searching through the crowd of faces for my friend. I finally spotted him near the edge that was closest to the stage. He and Andi were so caught up in their conversation that he wasn’t paying me a bit of attention.

  I was grateful. It meant I still had a chance to fix things. All I had to do was find Mia.

  With quick strides, I bolted out of the bar, through the hallway, and down one of the stairwells. I didn’t have time to wait for the elevator. If I was quick enough, I might find Mia before she got too far.

  The evening air blew through the buildings as I proceeded toward the condos. I wasn’t sure where to begin looking for her. Hopefully, she went to her suite.

  It wasn’t just a need to make this right that had me breaking into a sprint. It was the thought of Wesley seeing her before I did. Even though he hadn’t made any attempt to talk to Mia, this was the first time she’d been alone since he hit her. I made sure of it. Perhaps that was the real reason he kept his distance. Either way, I wasn’t willing to find out at her expense.

  By the time our building was in my sight, I caught a glimpse of Mia. She wasn’t moving as fast as me, but she was entering the door. Good. It meant she was going to her suite. I could reach her before she went inside.

  Increasing my stride, I ran toward the building, grateful no one else was around to see me. As fast as I was going, I’d gain someone’s attention. When I reached the door, I slipped inside. Mia’s heels clicked against the floor. I darted in the same direction, catching up with her just as she unlocked her door.

  “Mia, wait.”

  She spun around and glanced in my direction. Her eyes widened
at the sight of me, but she didn’t go inside like I feared. She wouldn’t meet my gaze either. Instead, she lowered her eyes.

  “What do you want, Ayden?”

  “I want to finish our conversation.”

  “I told you, I can’t.” This time she turned to go inside, but I grabbed her arm.

  “Please hear me out.”

  She didn’t want to. Deep down I knew it, but I had to make sure she listened. It was time I was honest with her. I owed her that much.

  As she motioned me inside, she closed the door behind me. When she crept further into the room, she stopped at the edge of the bar between the living room and kitchen.

  Inching closer, I stared at her the entire time, waiting for her to look at me. She wouldn’t. The floor held her attention until I was a foot away. Then she glanced up.

  “Why did you follow me?”

  “I already told you. Our conversation . . . it needs to be finished. You were going to tell me something.”

  She hugged herself as she shook her head. “No, I wasn’t. The conversation was finished.”

  I crept closer, leaving little space between us. Mia adjusted her stance, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. I was pushing again, but I had to. She needed to hear what I had to say.

  “Mia, don’t push me away. It’s taken me forever to get to this point.”

  “What point?”

  “This point.” I motioned between us. “I never thought I could care about someone the way I care about you.”

  Her mouth fell slightly open as her breathing increased. There was no doubting my admission caught her by surprise, and I wasn’t close to being finished.

  “We’ve both been burned in the past. That’s no secret. We’ve built a wall around our hearts, refusing to let anyone in.” I laughed halfheartedly at my own words. I was admitting this to her as well as myself. “In the last couple of months, you’ve broken through my wall. I guess I was hoping maybe I’d broken through yours too.”