Case of the Dysfunctional Daredevils

by Jeffrey M. Poole

  “Keep the Daredevils alive,” a new voice suddenly announced. “In Jitters’ honor. And Hades, for that matter.”

  We all turned to see the rest of the Daredevils, lined up as though they were posing for a picture, a dozen feet away. Yeti had taken several steps forward and looked as despondent as Thor. One by one, the rest of the Daredevils joined him, forming a semi-circle around us.

  “You can’t let this get you down, man,” Yeti was saying. “It was an accident, nothing else. How could it not be? I mean, you should have seen Jason. He somehow leapt from the back of the raft to the front, and was almost able to keep the raft from tipping over. He’s the one who single-handedly got us out of harm’s way. I’m not ashamed to say this, but if it wasn’t for him, then I think there’d be a few more fatalities on your hands.”

  “Without a doubt,” Wednesday agreed, nodding.

  “If you shut down the team now,” Yeti continued, “then you admit you’re letting your fear control your actions. Honestly? I’ve never thought of you as being someone who succumbs to their fear, Thor.”

  “That’s two, Yeti,” Thor quietly said. “Two of our members are gone.”

  “They were both accidents,” Patch argued. “They weren’t your fault. You’d be doing all Daredevils a disservice by disbanding us now.”

  “You’re suggesting we carry on like nothing has happened?” Thor incredulously asked.

  Yeti nodded, and then looked back at his fellow Daredevils to confirm. Every single one of them nodded back. I had to hand it to Thor. He was certainly heading up a loyal group.

  “What about you two?” Thor asked, turning to us. “What do you think, Clouseau? You’re the cop. What would you do?”

  I softly snorted and had to look away. Vance gave a visible start, as though something in his line of sight had spooked him. It had the intended effect of making Thor turn to look behind him. The moment he did, Vance slugged me on the arm.

  “Jerk,” he quietly hissed at me. “It’s not that funny.”

  “Yeah, it is,” I whispered back, between chuckles.

  Several Daredevils sniggered behind me, having witnessed the exchange. Thor turned back around and faced Vance with an expectant look on his face. My detective friend eventually shrugged.

  “I guess what I would do, if you’re asking my opinion, is to carry on under the impression that what happened was just an accident.”

  Hoots and hollers sounded from behind us.

  “That is,” Vance hastily continued, “as long as the official cause of death is ruled as ‘natural causes’.”

  Thor eventually nodded.

  “That’s fair. Daredevils? Did you hear that? We’re still here!”

  The hoots and hollers turned into thunderous cheer.

  “In honor of Jitters, may our next adventure be just as thrilling!”

  “N-next adventure?” I all but sputtered. “You’re going on another one? Already?”

  “Well, yeah! Isn’t that what Clouseau suggested? We carry on as though nothing has happened.”

  “Thor?” Yeti called out. “Could I get your opinion on something?”

  The leader of the Daredevils nodded, “Of course.”

  I noticed that the rest of the group hovered close by, as though they’d be able to hear what was transpiring between the two leaders. I was about ready to wander over when Vance tapped me on my shoulder and inclined his head in the opposite direction. Curious, I followed my friend as he put some distance between us and the ‘Devils.

  “What’s up?”

  “I think we have a problem,” Vance began.

  “Of course we have a problem,” I said, scowling. “It looks like they’re planning on having another excursion, and unless we bail out and look like wimps in the process, we’re gonna have to go through with it.”

  “I’m not worried about that,” Vance told me.

  “Well, I am, amigo!” I turned to point at the ambulance, which was just pulling away. “I’m worried that it could be one of us in there next.”

  “We won’t be, pal.”

  “How can you be sure? Level with me. Do you think this is a homicide or an accident?”

  “Based on everything I’ve seen before me, I’m leaning toward ‘accident’.”

  “Fine, if you’re not worried about the threat of imminent death, then what’s the problem?”

  Vance pulled out his notebook and flipped a few pages until he found what he was looking for.

  “I thought for certain this death was Jerod’s doing.”

  “So did I,” I admitted. “You must have thought Jerod was responsible.”

  Vance nodded, “Of course I did. We have a serial killer here hiding in PV. Their last two excursions each end up getting one of their members killed?” Vance sighed and rubbed his temple. “I thought this had Jerod written all over it. My problem is, based on everyone’s account of what they saw, our suspect should be on boat three, right?”

  “I follow your logic.”

  “Well, according to the Daredevils, the people on raft number three are Yeti, Patch, Wednesday, Hippy, and Jitters.”

  “And Jason, the guide,” I added.

  “Right. Zack, none of those people fit Jerod’s profile. I mean, obviously, Jitters and Wednesday are female, so they’re out. That leaves Yeti, Patch, and Hippy. We already know it can’t be the guide: he’s too old. The problem is, none of the other three match what we were told Jerod should look like.”

  Realizing Vance was right, I frowned. Were we wrong? Was Jerod one of those three in disguise? If Jitters’ death was a homicide, then that meant Jerod had to be on that raft. How else could he have pulled that off?

  “It’s settled!” Thor’s voice announced. “We have decided on our next adventure. Bacchus, Clouseau, would you care to hear what you’ll be doing next?”

  “I seriously don’t like my Daredevil name,” Vance darkly muttered.

  I was doing my damnedest to keep from laughing. As soon as Thor announced his plan, trust me, my laughter died in my throat. In fact, I could feel that all the blood had rushed out of my face.

  “Guys and gals, we’re going bungee jumping!”

  SIX

  “Can you believe we’re really gonna do this? I mean, holy cow, I’ve always wanted to try this. Haven’t you wanted to try?”

  “Try what?” Vance demanded. “Jumping off a perfectly good bridge and hope to hell the rope is going to hold? Are you insane?”

  I grinned at my friend. “Having second thoughts there, buddy-boy?”

  “Brilliant deduction, Holmes. What do you do for an encore?”

  Have you ever noticed that when you want something to happen, then it’ll take its sweet time getting there? And, conversely, when you want to keep a certain deadline from approaching, then it flies toward you at warp speed? Such was the case for us. As you’ve no doubt noticed, I may have sounded willing to trust a group of complete strangers and allow myself to fall from a seriously tall height. You’ll soon see that, however, when my sorry ass finally made it up there, and I was staring at that drop-off up close, I was going to have an abrupt change of heart.

  I should probably catch you up. Vance and I were currently in Bend, which is just under 200 miles from PV. If you were to look at a map of Oregon, you’d see that Bend lies in the central part of the state. As for how long it takes to drive here? Well, with me driving, it was about three hours. If Jillian would have driven? I’m positive that not only would we have made it with time to spare, we’d also have time to grab a bite to eat, stop by a rest area to freshen up, catch the latest movie, and so on. When that woman gets out on the open road, and is allowed to play whatever she wants on the stereo – as loud as she wants – then she has a tendency to develop one helluva lead foot.

  “You two are going to be just fine,” a third voice assured me.

  Not wanting to be left behind, Marshal Ash Binson had expressed a desire to tag along. But, since the rest of the Daredevils had taken a ch
artered bus out to the spot Thor had chosen, and in case Jerod Jones happened to be familiar with what the marshal was driving, Ash had asked if he could hitch a ride with us. Once I pointed out that he’d have to ride in the back seat with the dogs, his face lit up like the 4th of July. Turns out the good marshal really loves dogs. Vance was prepared to ride with us, too, until Tori announced she and their two girls, Victoria and Tiffany, would like to watch their dad jump off a bridge. So, they ended up taking their own car and following us.

  Even though our road trip had only lasted three hours, we ended up stopping for potty breaks and snack runs on three different occasions. I still wasn’t complaining, though. One thing I’ve learned that I really enjoy, especially when Jillian was present, was taking a road trip. On top of which, I was surprised to discover I was secretly enjoying my time with the Daredevils. Yes, they were all younger than me, but damned if they weren’t full of life. They lived each day as though it would be their last. They loved to experience new thrills, and much to my surprise, me, too. However, that was a little tidbit I was doing my damnedest to keep under wraps. I don’t need anyone accusing me of having a mid-life crisis, too.

  “You seem to be enjoying your time with these people,” Jillian announced, which had the added effect of making me jump with surprise. “Are you okay, Zachary? I didn’t mean to startle you.”

  “No, I’m good. Thanks.”

  “Mm-hmm. Perhaps you could slow down a bit?”

  “Huh?”

  “Your speed. From where I’m sitting, it looks as though you’re doing 90.”

  Surprised, I checked my speed. Yep. 88 miles an hour. How long had I been doing that?

  “You’re enjoying yourself, aren’t you?”

  I looked over at my fiancé and took her hand in mine.

  “I am. I don’t remember enjoying road trips as much as I do now. You, the dogs, and the open countryside. It can’t get any better than that.”

  Jillian brought our clasped hands up to her face and gave my hand a gentle kiss.

  “That’s sweet, Zachary. But, that’s not what I mean and you know it. So, back to the original question. You’re enjoying your time with these people, aren’t you?”

  I sighed and nodded sheepishly.

  “Guilty as charged. There’s something about living life to the fullest that appeals. I’m not sure why. I’ve never been that way before.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with doing activities that you enjoy,” Jillian patiently explained. “I never would have pegged you for an adrenaline junkie.”

  “That’s because I’m not,” I laughed, “Let me be crystal clear about something. I’m not 100% on board with what we’re about to do.”

  “Bungee jumping,” Jillian thoughtfully said. “I’m not too surprised. It’s a dangerous sport. Are you actually going to go through with this?”

  “It’s actually safer than you might realize,” Ash mentioned from the back seat.

  I could see that his head was down, and he was looking at something on his phone.

  “Have you ever been?” I asked him.

  “What? Bungee jumping? Hell no.”

  “But… but you just said it was perfectly safe!” I stammered.

  “Oh, they claim it is, and I’ve seen first-hand how strong those ropes are,” Ash said. He still hadn’t looked up from his phone.

  “I’m sensing there’s a ‘but’ in there,” Jillian said, suppressing a giggle.

  Ash nodded, “There is. I’m not about to put my life in the hands of total strangers. I don’t care how safe it is.”

  “And you expect us to follow through with this after that little comment?” I demanded.

  Ash shrugged, “Some people handle certain situations better. Personally? I have acrophobia. I looked up this place your God of Thunder picked out. Peter Skene Ogden Scenic Park. Have you heard about where you’ll be jumping? It’s one of the highest jumps in North America. It’s definitely the highest in Oregon.”

  My mouth was suddenly bone dry.

  “Uh, er, h-how high is it?” I nervously asked.

  “250 feet.”

  I visibly relaxed. “250? That’s it? Whew. For some reason, I thought it’d be way higher than that.”

  “Just wait until you’re on the bridge, looking down,” Jillian teased. “I’ll bet you’ll be singing a different tune.”

  She hit the nail on the head. As Vance and I joined our fellow enthusiasts, we got our first look at the bridge where we’ll be performing our jump. This was 250 feet? Good god! The Peter Skene Ogden Scenic Park (that’s a mouthful, isn’t it?) bridge looked as though it was thousands of feet off the ground. We were gonna jump off that?? Harry had the right idea by bugging out on us. And, seeing how we’re on the subject, since when was Harry the smartest one of the group?

  “That looks really high, daddy,” a young female voice said, from my left.

  I turned to see Vance, Tori, and their two daughters approach. The oldest one, Victoria, was 13 years old, had straight brown hair, and was wearing a pink tee shirt and white shorts. She leaned over the rail and gasped as she looked down at the ground far below.

  “What do you say, princess,” Vance began, as he came up behind his eldest. “Want to go with me?”

  “Oh, absolutely not!” Victoria cried. “No way! There’s no way I could do that!”

  “What about you, Tiff?” Vince asked, as he turned to his youngest daughter. She was a shorter, blonde version of Victoria. “Want to go with me and Zack?”

  “You’re jumping off that?” Tiffany hesitantly asked. She was 11, wearing a cobalt blue shirt advertising some boy band, and a yellow skirt. “No, thank you.”

  “I think they have the right idea,” I quietly muttered, as I stepped up beside my friend.

  Vance grinned. “Having second thoughts?”

  “And you’re not? Dude, look how high we are!”

  “I haven’t looked yet,” Vance confided. “And I don’t want to. If I do, then I have a feeling I’m gonna pull a Harry and chicken out.”

  “I think he’s the smart one here,” I said. “And if you ever repeat that, I’ll deny it, even under the most heinous of torture.”

  Vance chuckled as I fell into step behind him. He paused long enough to kiss his wife – to which I did the same for Jillian – and then we all headed out to join our fellow Daredevils at the jumping platform set up around the half-way point on the bridge. Several other groups of people were also there, and about every ten minutes or so, another (un)lucky individual would leap off the bridge, much to the delight of the onlookers.

  “Sure you don’t want to look?” I teased Vance.

  My detective friend had his head down and quickly shook his head. “Absolutely not.”

  “What’s your plan? Are you going to keep your eyes closed the entire time?”

  “They’re not closed now.”

  Just then, I heard a set of matching warning woofs. Surprised, I looked back at the dogs, who were both trotting alongside Jillian. Sherlock and Watson were both fixated on the small group of people gathering near the jumping platform. The problem was, I couldn’t tell who they were barking at. Was Jerod there, in disguise? If so, who was he? And how were we going to tell him apart from the other potential candidates?

  Sighing, I pulled out my phone and snapped a few shots. I’d have to check through the photos later.

  A quick glance over at Jillian confirmed she and I were on the same page, meaning she had her phone out and was sending a message to Ash. She was typing as she walked, which I figured must mean Ash would already know about the corgis’ behavior by now. Since Marshal Binson was not a master of disguise, like all the reports claimed Jarod was, Ash had elected to remain inside the car. Armed with a pair of high-powered binoculars, I’m sure he was watching us at this exact moment.

  We arrived at the half-way point on the bridge, and joined up with the rest of the adrenaline knuckleheads. I leaned out over the guard rail and studied the flowing ri
ver far below. There was no way we could only be 250 feet up in the air, could we? I mean, it looked like we were easily ten times higher than that. At that time, both of Vance’s daughters arrived by my side. The oldest looked down at the ground far below and then turned to give me a speculative stare.

  “Are you really going to do this, Mr. Anderson?”

  I shook my head. “I have a feeling, Ms. Victoria, that the only way you’ll see my fat butt falling off that bridge is if I’m pushed.”

  Both girls erupted into laughter.

  Right about then, Vance made the mistake of joining us. Without realizing what he was doing, he looked out into open air and saw for himself just how high up we really were. I heard my friend suck in his breath and mutter a curse.

  “You just said a bad word,” Tiffany accused her father. “You owe the swear jar five dollars!”

  “One buck per infraction,” Vance dryly corrected.

  “But you tried to hide it by not fessing up,” Victoria corrected. “Didn’t you say that deception causes the fee to increase five-fold?”

  Giving the young teenager an appreciative look, I glanced over at my friend. Vance shook his head and pulled out his wallet. “Here, young lady.” And then, to me, he added, “Just when you think your kids aren’t paying attention to you.”

  “When money is involved, they’re always listening,” I helpfully pointed out.

  “Daredevils!” Thor’s voice announced, causing everyone around us to fall silent. “Welcome! I’m glad you’re here. As you can see, we have a treat for you! We’ve arranged our jump to happen right here, above the Peter Skene Ogden scenic park! Who’s excited to be here?”

  A chorus of cheers went up. None, I might add, could be heard coming from our little group. I heard another warning woof from Sherlock. Both Vance and I stared down at the little corgi, but he refused to look at us. My tri-colored boy only had eyes for the Daredevils. That had to mean something, didn’t it?

  “This is the part where I ask for volunteers to go first,” Thor announced, “but in this case, since we have two new members, we don’t have to. Bacchus, you have the honor of going first!”