by Liz Schulte
I nodded, but it didn’t make sense. I’d spent years learning how to cast and what he was suggesting broke all of the rules.
“It’s like your telekinetic ability. How do you control it?”
“I, umm, hmm. Well, I guess I just, you know, will it to happen.” It was harder to articulate than I imagined, but Sebastian nodded encouragingly. “So you want me to will myself into another room?”
“Yes, we’ll start there.” He stood up and offered me a hand.
I tried and nothing happened. I was so tired, and I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to do anything. My body ached like I’d run a marathon. I absently rubbed my breastbone and my mind drifted to Cheney drinking in the study. Where was he now? Was he thinking about me? My eyes drifted closed as I ignored Sebastian’s incessant talking, and I could almost smell the dusty old books and Cheney’s scent that was always laced with sandalwood. When I opened my eyes, I was standing behind the soft leather chair I’d sat in across from Cheney only yesterday. The room was dark and empty, silent as death. I didn’t celebrate my success or hurry back to Sebastian. I walked along the bookcases, trailing my finger along the spines, trying to listen to my heart, but my heart wasn’t talking. My mind, however, wouldn’t be quiet. I sat in Cheney’s chair and remembered his voice asking me if I’d ever loved him.
A pretty box made of interwoven pieces of various metals sat on the table beside me, gleaming even in the low light. I touched it lightly, trying to open it, but it was locked. I stared at it a moment, and then with a flick of my telekinetic mind, the lid popped up. The contents took a moment to register. I looked again. What the fuck?
The click of the door being shut made me jump out of the chair. I tore my gaze from the box. Cheney strolled toward me, his hands in his pocket. I backed up. Oh shit.
“Selene.” His voice was soft. My eyes kept darting to the box then to him as I backed away, putting the chair between us. He frowned and followed my gaze. His eyes widened. “I can explain.”
“Whose heart is that?”
His jaw clenched. “I’m not sure, but I think it is …” He paused as if he had trouble saying the name. “Michael’s.”
My stomach lurched. I wanted to throw up, run away from him. “Why?” I kept moving back and he kept advancing. “How could you?”
His eyes widened even further, and he stopped. “You don’t think I did this? What could I possibly have to gain by killing a human who was no longer in your life?”
“You tell me.”
“Nothing. I have nothing to gain. This is why I wasn’t in the gym with Sebastian this morning. I went to Sy’s hoping to intercept you. I think you need to come back to the castle. It isn’t safe for you out there.”
“I’m not so sure it’s safe for me in here,” I said under my breath. Hurt filled his eyes.
“You don’t mean that.” He was in front of me in a blink, and I didn’t have time to move away. The back of his hand brushed against my cheek and relief washed over me, but I fought against it. “I know somewhere in there you know you don’t mean it.”
I pressed my lips together, too confused to know anything.
He eased his arms around me and urged me closer. “I’m sorry for your loss, and I’m sorry I asked you to leave. Come back.”
His touch opened up my lungs and let me breathe for the first time since I’d walked away, but I struggled against him. “No,” I said weakly, but he continued to hug me until I gave in and buried my face into his shoulder.
“I can protect you, Selene. I can take care of you.”
I pushed away from him. “Like you did Michael?”
His arms fell to his sides. “That isn’t fair.”
“And being dead is?” I glanced back at the box. “What exactly happened? How did you get that?”
Cheney crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t appreciate your tone. What exactly have I done to lose your trust?”
I mimicked his stance. “Was I in love with you before we were bonded?”
He leaned back slightly and chewed on the side of his lip. “I like to think so.” The wild intensity that laced his every look melted away and weariness replaced it. “The box was delivered here this morning. No one saw anything.”
“Was there a note?”
“Not that I saw. Are you so certain it isn’t your rebel friends doing this, trying to come between us because everything didn’t go as planned?”
I wasn’t certain of anything anymore. “Will my friends be safe here?”
He watched me for a moment. “Of course.” He ran his hand through his hair, making it stick up in odd directions. “I was thinking about us last night. Did you mean it?”
“Mean what?”
“That you love me now. You haven’t said it before. Not ever.”
My feet felt heavy as if I couldn’t run away even if I wanted to. “It’s hard to say what’s real and what’s the bond.”
“You know, the funny thing is everyone says elves aren’t emotional. We’re reserved and unfeeling. But you’re the one who’s unfeeling. You always have been. I have told you I love you a thousand times. Sure you can shed tears and turn a good phrase, but you can’t even say it once.”
He was right. I couldn’t tell him I loved him. There were too many variables. “I won’t say it until I’m sure I mean it. If that makes me unfeeling, then I guess that’s what I am.”
“Did you tell Michael you loved him?”
I shook my head.
“And the other man?”
I swallowed and looked away. I was pretty sure I had told Jaron I loved him.
He nodded. “Sebastian says I shouldn’t let you leave, that we need you here.”
“That’s why I came back today. If you don’t agree, I’ll go.” I pressed a hand to my chest where it hurt the most. “Maybe a little time apart will do us both some good.”
He took a deep breath. “If it takes letting you leave again for you to see we do belong together, then I will. But Sebastian is right about keeping up appearances, at least until we know where we stand.” He reached toward me then dropped his hand without making contact. “I know how I feel and it has nothing to do with the bond. I can forgive you, Selene, but this time you have to earn it.”
“How?”
“I don’t know.” Cheney closed the distance between us. “Is there anything else you are keeping from me?”
Pros and cons about telling him anything further rolled through my mind. But in the end, I still couldn’t believe Cheney was behind any of this. “Yeah. I’ve had more memories.”
“Are they still hurting you? What have you remembered?”
“No, these memories aren’t the same. They’re being given back to me.”
Cheney’s eyebrows pulled together. “What do you mean ‘given back’?”
“Apparently, before the changeling spell was cast, I stored all my memories with someone else.”
He sat in his chair. “That doesn’t make any sense. It isn’t possible.”
I shrugged. “What about any of this makes sense?” The gleam of the box caught my eye and a lump rose in my throat. “I should go back to Sy’s.”
“Will you be back tomorrow?”
I looked over my shoulder. “Yeah. No matter what it looks like or what you think, I don’t want to hurt you. I just want to understand what’s happening. I still believe in you and think you will make a wonderful Erlking. You will always have my full support.”
“These memories, are you sure you can trust them?”
I shook my head. “I’m not sure of anything.”
Cheney was in front of me in a blink. He ran his hand over my hair, his eyes nearly pleading. “Stay.”
I could only shake my head.
“I need the finger,” I told Sy as I appeared in his bar, clutching a stool to steady myself against the dizziness.
His eyes flickered to each person in the room. “You transported. Good job, but don’t transport into here. Keep it in
the back or outside.”
“Fine. The finger,” I said impatiently.
“We discussed this, Selene.”
I planted both hands on the bar and leaned toward him. “Michael is dead.” I didn’t mention that was probably because they wouldn’t let me go to him. Now wasn’t the time to point fingers.
Sy stopped wiping down the counter. “Are you sure?”
“No. That’s why I need the finger.” I gave him a quick rundown of what had transpired. “Do you think I was wrong to leave my coven with him?”
Sy ran his hand over his buzz cut. “If Cheney isn’t involved, like he claims, the castle is the safest spot for them. And even if he does have something to do with this, he obviously wants you to keep coming back to him. With your coven there, you will. I bet they’re safe.”
“They better be. Now, where’s the finger?”
“Holden has it. I figured you’d snoop until you found it, so I sent it back with him.”
“Great.” I glared at him.
“We’ll get it. Just relax.”
It annoyed me that no one in this world seemed overly concerned about a dead human. What was wrong with these people?
“While you wait, you can learn. Step behind the bar.” He gave me a lopsided grin that was impossible to scowl at.
Bartending wasn’t so hard. Sy didn’t mix drinks so I didn’t have to memorize anything. He told me anyone who came in looking for Sex on the Beach was in the wrong bar. We had straight alcohol or beer, no mixers. He introduced me to a little group of strange looking creatures who worked in the kitchen. He said they could and would make anything anyone asked for. Other than that, all I had to do was answer the phone and post the bounties on the wall across from the bar as they came through.
“Oh, and remove anyone who starts a fight. Can you handle that?”
“I think so.”
“Great. You can work with me tonight, and we’ll see how you do.”
The thing about the Office was that it was never empty. Someone was always sitting at a table waiting for that perfect hunt, no matter what time of day it was. Unless Sy closed the bar down like he had the couple times we had meetings, there was always somebody lurking in the shadows. “Who filled in for you when you came to see me the first time?”
Sy smiled at me mischievously. “No one.”
“Did you close down?”
He shook his head. “We rarely ever close.”
“And you’re open 24/7, but you work alone?”
“Bounties aren’t going to find themselves, nor do they keep to business hours. This is often life or death, Selene.”
“Then I don’t understand. How?”
“Are you thinking about a career change?” He winked and laughed. “Let’s see how you do tonight before I start spilling the secrets of my profession.”
We stood behind the bar chatting until the door opened. A petite woman with white blonde hair down to her butt came through. “Frost. How’d it go?” Sy said to her.
She turned, lifted a thin ebony eyebrow and regarded us with ice blue eyes as she adjusted her black gloves. “Taken care of. Who’s the new girl?”
“This is Selene. Selene, this is Frost.”
I smiled and Frost turned and walked away. “Glad to see everyone is so friendly.” I scrunched my nose. “She doesn’t look like much of a bounty hunter. At least Femi looks like she can kick someone’s ass. She looks like a Barbie.”
Sy crossed his arms. “Frost is a necromancer. She’s the real deal.”
I looked at her with new appreciation. Necromancers controlled the dead. How she applied that to bounty hunting I had no idea, but most people would consider what she did black magic. She was definitely fringe. I watched her until the door opened again. This time a tall bald man with hunched shoulders walked through. Tattoos crawled up his neck and sleeved his arms down to his wrists. I turned to where Sy had been, but he was gone. I looked back and the scary man stood in front of me.
“Who are you?”
“Selene. What can I get you?”
“Whiskey.”
I grabbed a glass and the bottle.
“And a piece of your sweet ass.”
I took in his smug smile as I slid the drink in front of him. Then I flicked my fingers at my side, imagining his stupid thick silver chain tightening around his neck. His smile faltered and his fingers inched up to pull it away, but the chain tightened until his face began to turn blue. I leaned in close and whispered in his ear. “Next time you talk down to me, I won’t stop.” I snapped my fingers and the necklace went slack.
He glared at me, coughing as he slapped money on the counter.
“What, no tip?” I called after him and laughed to myself. This wasn’t so bad. I felt powerful behind the bar. Some of the constant anger inside of me basked in the glow of exerting my power over others.
“You’ll do just fine,” Sy said behind me.
“Thanks for disappearing.”
“I had to see how you would do when I’m not here. You passed.”
We worked side by side, talking about nothing. Sy showed me how to blend in and listen. We watched the board, noting who took which bounties and which ones were left behind. He said this told which way the wind was blowing and what races to distance yourself from. It was like a big social experiment, and Sy was an expert at reading everyone who came in. He knew them all by name and his silver eyes darted everywhere, taking in everything. Jaron came in a few hours later, changing the atmosphere in the bar.
“Thanks for your help tonight.” Sy winked at me, knowing I was about to abandon him.
Jaron followed me to the living room without a word until he closed the door. He looked me up and down. “You look bad.”
My eyebrows furrowed. Then what he meant dawned on me. My hand went to my chest. The separation was wearing me down. “I’m okay.”
He moved closer. “There are circles under your eyes—eyes that are completely bloodshot. You looked stressed. So unlike you, Selene”
Today came back to me. I was as bad as Sy and Cheney. I forgot about Michael. A little distraction and he was as good as gone from my mind. My shoulders dropped and I sat down. “Michael is dead.”
Jaron sat beside me. “How do you know?”
“I found his heart. At least I think it was his heart.” His hand grazed my knee. “I just don’t know why anyone would do this. Michael wasn’t even a part of this world.”
Jaron leaned back. “This wasn’t about him. It was about you.”
“That makes me feel better,” I grumbled.
Jaron leaned his muscular forearms on his knees. “I’m not here to make you feel better. I’m here to bring you back.”
“Why?”
Those gray eyes met mine, seeing through me. “I’m not saying I want you back. I’m tired of carrying pieces of you with me. You need to take back your memories and decide once and for all what the hell you want. I don’t care if it’s Cheney or a human—”
“Or you?” I said softly, still trying to figure out how he felt.
He frowned. “I’m not here for your entertainment. We had a good run, Selene, but it needs to end.”
I sucked in a breath. Part of me withered at Jaron’s words. I struggled to refocus. “How do the memories work? Do you see them with me?”
“You laced your life onto the memories we shared. I cannot see everything that comes with them, but it does bring those moments to mind.”
“Then why don’t you just give me the last memory, then I’ll remember everything before it.”
He shook his head. “I don’t control which memories you get or how often we have to do this to get them all back. You set all of this up, not me. And you never explained anything to me.”
Jaron and I were so close in my memories. He taught me to survive, showed me what the world was like. Life with Sy and Aunt Lorelei had verged on idyllic, and the real world only offered disappointment. Jaron had always been there to pick me up and dust
me off. He was an important person to me, and I knew that in a place that was untouched by the bond I shared with Cheney. I studied his carefully guarded face. “Is it hard to be here with me?”
His lips curled. “I moved on. What, did you believe I would wait?” His voice was soft and made my stomach flutter.
I did think he would wait. In every memory, every recalled feeling, Jaron always being there was the one constant. I’d never had a single doubt that he’d still be here when I came back—and here he is, a voice insisted in my head, refusing to believe we couldn’t have him back if we chose him. I pressed my lips together. “I guess I didn’t think about it.” I intended to drop the subject, but my mouth kept moving despite my best intentions. “Who is she?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Are you ready for your memory? I don’t have all night.”
I bit back the string of questions I wanted to throw at him and nodded. Jaron wrapped his fingers round the back of my neck. I didn’t have a right to expect anything else from him, no matter what the other half of me believed.
His lips crushed into mine. I responded, though my own thoughts kept drifting back to him moving on. He couldn’t move on. I needed him. I tried to tamp down the thoughts and kissed him back even harder, my arms around his neck.
He pulled back slightly. “It isn’t working.”
“Maybe I have too much on my mind.”
His gaze seared into me. “Deeper. It has to be deeper.” As he came toward me, I lay back on the couch, torn about how far I was willing to let this go. Part of me filled with triumph because he never could resist me, and the other part didn’t want to keep toying with people’s feelings. His gray eyes darkened with desire as he looked over me. I traced my fingers down the side of his face and he kissed me again softly, the weight of his body pressing down on me. He trailed a line of kisses down one side of my neck and back up the other. I arched my back, pressing against him. His tongue ran the seam of my mouth, asking for entrance. I complied, my mind going blissfully still, allowing Jaron to fill my senses.
I slammed the door to Jaron’s house open. “You win,” I yelled. It was the middle of the night, but I didn’t care. I stood with my arms crossed over my chest and listened to the rustling movements as he came to me. When Jaron came into sight, I almost resented him as much as I loved him. He was making me do this.
