Fallen Fourth Down (Fallen Crest #4)

by Tijan

  “Thank you.” I blinked a couple times. I had no idea what else to say. I blurted out, “Why?”

  Her mouth opened into a snarl, then she stopped. “I have no idea. I don’t even like you.” She lifted a fist between us. “You attacked me at the football game.”

  “You attacked me during a basketball game.”

  She paused.

  I waited, and my eyes narrowed.

  She shrugged. “I’m tired of fighting your ass.”

  My eyebrow arched at that one. “You’re tired? Try being me. That’s all I’ve done since I transferred to your school.”

  “Whatever. Whine about it. You’re through the hazing.” She started around me and threw over her shoulder, “You’re one of us now, Sam. Christ. I need a beer.” She shoved through the crowd, and a surreal feeling came over me.

  I shook my head. I had no idea what had just happened and reminded myself why I was there. To talk to Logan. Make things right. So I headed off again and searched through the house. He wasn’t in any of the rooms. When I was going through a screened-in porch, I glanced to the side and noticed someone huddled in a chair in the far corner. A beer was open next to him, and he had a sweatshirt on, the hood pulled up to cover his face. I stopped. I knew that guy. Taking a step closer, I asked, “Jackson?”

  He turned. His hood slipped back an inch, revealing his face. The ends of his mouth were strained, and there were bags underneath his eyes.

  “What are you doing there?”

  He sat up. His leg had been resting on the chair across from him, but he removed it and I sat down. He cast a wary look behind me and into the house. “I forgot how much I don’t like parties.”

  “Why’d you come?”

  He flinched, picking up his beer. It was still full, but he took a little sip and grimaced after he swallowed it. “It’s better than being home.” He lifted a shoulder up in a shrug. “A bunch of the guys invited me and wouldn’t take no for an answer, so I came. I figure I could hide until I go home in a few hours.”

  “Stuff with your mom?”

  “Something like that.” His eyes narrowed, as if a different thought came to him. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Hey, listen. I lied to you.”

  “What?”

  “Yeah. Last weekend. I knew you worked there. It’s why I went. I’d never been to that place before, but I didn’t stalk you for a creepy reason or anything. I just wanted to talk about that night, you know, with us.”

  “I know.”

  “Your boy came up to me. He told me to stay away from you.” Lifting his hands, as if surrendering, he leaned back in his chair. “I’ll be honest. I’d date you, Sam. I’d do it in a heartbeat if you were single, but no shade here. I’m not trying to manipulate you or anything. No tricking. Nothing like that. I really did just want to clear the air.”

  “My boy?”

  He gestured outside to the backyard. “Logan Kade.”

  “He told you to stay away from me?”

  “Yeah. Look,” he shook his head, “it wasn’t in a bad way. He was actually nice about it, but I could tell that he wanted to rip my head off. I don’t want to cause problems. I had kinda hoped we could be friends, but like I said, no problem. Since I am interested in you, he’s right. I’ll stay away.”

  Jackson was interested in me? He said he would’ve pursued me before, and he was saying the same thing again. There was a ball of tension in my stomach. The more he talked, the deeper it dug down. Jackson was different than Mason or Logan. He understood the shadows, how comfortable it could be there. That was a foreign concept to Mason and Logan. I sighed, rubbing a hand over my face. Jackson had been easy to talk to the night he took my virginity, and he still was. That hadn’t gone away, even though I had been ripped apart with guilt over cheating on Jeff. Now he was here and a different part of me was coming back.

  “Jackson, you’re fine. You don’t have to worry about Logan.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.” I didn’t know what I meant when I said that, but Jackson was like me. If he had pursued me, I would’ve dated him, but I couldn’t think about that. Things would’ve been different, maybe. I would’ve been with him instead of Jeff when my mom left David for James Kade. For a split second, I envisioned that year if I had been dating Jackson, then the memories of that time came back to me. Mason watching me in the kitchen. Seeing me in the dark when Logan had no clue. The day he made me a sandwich and never said a word about it. All the tension I felt around him. The night Logan went to a party, and Mason stayed home with me. Then the cabin, being with him. I hadn’t been able to fight my feelings for him.

  No. It wouldn’t have been different. I just would’ve cheated on Jackson.

  Jackson was watching me. He asked, “What’s wrong?”

  I stood and spoke softly, “When you told me last week that you were interested, a part of me had wished that you had pursued it. I was miserable with your cousin, and I hope that you would’ve treated me better, but hearing this, I thought about it again. I was so sad with Jeff. You would’ve been a break, just a brief one to take away some of that pain.” My head moved in the slightest shake. “It wouldn’t have lasted. I remember that year, when I moved in with Mason, and even if I had been with you, I would still have ended up with him. I love Mason so much. Being away from him is hard and Logan’s right. I’m lonely. I’m hurting. I miss Mason, but nothing would’ve changed. No matter what path I’m on, all roads lead to him. They always will.”

  Jackson nodded and murmured, “I hope he realizes what he’s got with you.”

  The corners of my lips tugged, forming a small grin. “He does. I think I’m the one who doesn’t realize it sometimes.”

  He lifted his beer and tipped it towards me. “It was nice being considered a maybe-friend for a little while.”

  My grin grew. “Yeah.” Logan. Making things right. I groaned. That was the real reason I was there. “He’s outside?”

  “Logan?”

  I nodded.

  He gestured to the backyard. “He and his friends are by the campfire, holding court.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Just go and see for yourself. You’ll understand.”

  I turned for the last screen door. Pausing, as I was about to push it open, I said, “It was nice to talk to you. It was nice seeing you again.”

  “You too.”

  I pushed open the screen door, and as it shut behind me, I heard from him again, “You too, Sam.”

  The backyard was packed as well. Bean bags were being tossed on one side. Another group was hitting a volleyball over a badminton net and laughing when the ball wouldn’t go over. The garage had its doors lifted. Light flooded out from it, illuminating the front of the garage. A basketball hoop was attached to the top and a couple of guys were holding beers in one hand, shooting a basketball with the other. People stood in groups all around, laughing, drinking, flirting, telling stories. I walked around, looking for a campfire, but it wasn’t until I circled to the other side of the garage that I saw the flame. It was set back in the farthest corner of the backyard and a ring of people had formed around it, but they stood away, standing sideways so they could talk to their friends, but the closer I got, I saw they were sneaking looks at the campfire.

  I realized why. Log benches were set around the fire, lined with guys, but there was no laughter coming from that group. Varying intense expressions were on all of them and no girls were there. The girls were in the groups standing away from the campfire, but still looking over at them every few minutes. An exclusive feel filled the air. It intensified the closer I got, until I was standing at the edge of the groups. I, too, couldn’t look away from the guys around the campfire.

  Jackson said they were holding court. I understood. Even if I didn’t know Logan and saw him sitting there, I would know these guys were the top of the hierarchy. Confidence filled their shoulders, and as they spoke, it was heard in their voices as well. Even though they
weren’t doing anything, they commanded attention from everyone surrounding them. More than few girls casted lustful looks to them. Some of the guys standing on the outskirts shifted on their feet and glanced around. Their hands gripped their beer cans tight before shoving a hand into their pocket. They shifted again, finally striking a cocky pose to cover any insecurity they had shown.

  “You want another, Kade?” A guy stood from the log he was sitting on.

  People shifted, watching as he said something else to his campfire comrades, then he was joined by another guy. Both lifted their legs, stepping over their benches and moved towards the groups surrounding them. The crowd shifted, automatically letting them through. As they passed by, they didn’t notice me.

  In that moment, I felt like Jackson. I felt like I was in the shadows, not being seen, like I had before Mason and Logan came into my life. I felt the old loneliness settle back on my shoulders, weighing me down. A couple girls turned to me. They nudged each other, all moving so they could scan me up and down. I looked down at the ground, trying to hide a smile. The sense of anonymity was gone. It had been there for a split second, but I was recognized again. I let out a sigh. Being invisible and visible had pros and cons to it, but it didn’t matter.

  Stepping forward, I rolled my shoulders back and raised my chin. Being in the limelight was how Mason and Logan lived. That meant that’s where I would be with them. As I moved closer, Logan’s friends saw my approach. Nothing was said to each other. They all stood and left, leaving Logan alone. As I got there, he glanced up. He had been sitting with his back to everyone. He said, “I figured it was you.” He gestured to the empty benches. “They wouldn’t have left for anyone else.”

  I lifted my leg to climb over and sat next to him. My back was turned to everyone else too. “Even Kris?”

  “Even Kris.” His head lowered and he closed his eyes. His shoulders dropped slightly. His hand was on his leg and it turned, opening.

  He was hurting.

  I didn’t think; my arm lifted and my hand slid into his. His hand wrapped around mine. He tightened the hold, our fingers laced together, and I squeezed.

  He gave me a half-grin. “What’s this for?”

  “For messing up. For being self-absorbed.” I bit down on my lip. “Because you’re hurting and that makes me hurt too.”

  He closed his eyes. His head moved lower and his chest jerked up. A second later, he said, “Thank you, Sam.” His voice was hoarse. He squeezed my hand back. “Thank you.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  He nodded. “I know.” He lifted his arm, our hands still joined, and laid it across my shoulders. He pulled me into his side. His head bobbed down to rest on my free shoulder, his face right next to mine. He murmured, “I needed this.”

  “Me too.”

  “Mason left, and I lost him and you.” His eyes moved so he was watching me from the corner of his eye. “Are you back?”

  “I’m back.” I nodded, grazing my cheek against his. “I promise.”

  “Good.” His body had been tense, but as he said that word, all of it left him. He relaxed next to me, his arm sagging. It would’ve slipped off, but I kept my hold on his hand and tugged it back into place. We shared a grin and readjusted. I burrowed closer to his side and he propped his arm further over me, nearly blanketing me so our hands rested close to my lap. His head moved, against the top of mine, and he turned, pressing a soft kiss to my temple. He murmured, “I’ve missed you.”

  I had missed him too, more than I realized. Regret filtered through me, but Tate’s words came back to me: “Logan’s in love with you.” I hadn’t tried to distance myself from Logan. I tried to distance myself from those words, but they came back. They were going to haunt me forever. I had to accept it.

  “Sam?”

  I moved an inch over so I could see him. “Yeah?”

  “What’s been going on with you?”

  Nerves sparked up in my stomach. A feeling of doom settled in my chest, but I had to tell him something. I had to let go of one of the secrets. “You know that Jackson guy?”

  “Yeah?” He tensed against me.

  “I don’t know if Mason ever told you, but I slept with another guy before him.”

  “That guy?”

  “He was my first, and I never saw him again until last Friday night.”

  “For real?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Oh, man.” He pulled me back to his side. “I’m sorry. I should’ve backed off. That’s why he went to see you.” The corner of his mouth dipped down. “I told him to stay the fuck away from you, or I was going to find his closest female relative and bang the hell out of her.”

  Oh, god. Only Logan. “Well, you don’t have to.”

  He grinned. “I wasn’t quiet either. I think people heard.”

  “He said you were nice about it.”

  “I wasn’t. I was an asshole.”

  “He’s not a factor. It’s nice not to regret that night, but it’s over. Jackson’s not going to be a part of my life.” I lifted my eyes to hold his again. “You and Mason are.”

  “Threesome Fearsome again?”

  I nodded. “Threesome Fearsome going strong.”

  “Damn straight.” He flicked the corner of my lip, grinning at me. “I love you, little sister.”

  “Little?” I straightened up, moving so I could turn around and face him squarely. Our hands let go and his arm slipped down my back, resting behind me. I wrinkled my nose. “I believe I’m older than you.”

  He shrugged. “Age doesn’t matter. It’s what’s in here.” He touched his chest.

  “Your heart?”

  “My lungs. They’re stronger than yours. I’m in better shape. That’s what’s important.” His grin stretched from ear to ear.

  “Oh, god.” I punched him in the side and rolled my eyes. “But I’m older and wiser.”

  “Not true.” Still grinning, he tugged me back and wrapped his arm around me. He moved so he was hugging me from the side. His forehead lowered to rest on my shoulder. He glanced up at me from the corner of his eye. “Thank you for telling me about Jackson.”

  “Yeah.” I shot him a dark look. “Do not tell Mason. I want to tell him myself.”

  “I promise. When are you going to tell him?”

  “Tonight.”

  “Tonight?”

  I nodded. “I’m leaving after this.”

  He lifted his head from my shoulder. A serious expression came over his face. “You’re driving there?”

  “I wanted to come and make things right with you, then go to see him. I’m going to stay there for the weekend.”

  He nodded. “Mason trusts you. You don’t need to be nervous.”

  I knew that. Giving him a soft smile, I lifted my hand. Forming it into a fist, I pretended to hit his chin. The corner of his mouth lifted as he held my gaze. I asked, “Are you and Kris having problems?”

  A storm passed in his eyes. Hesitating, his chest lifted, and he answered, “Yes.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Me too.” He shook his head, closed his eyes, and when they opened again, a mischievous look had replaced the sadness. Wrapping his arms around me, he stood and swept me up with him. I was tossed over his shoulder. He climbed over the bench, smacked my rear, and yelled out, “Derek! Do you have a pool?”

  “No!” I started kicking. “Logan, put me down.”

  He started forward. The crowd moved aside for him. Smiles started to spread around the backyard. His friends had moved to the basketball court. When we got there, they noticed the change in his attitude, and just like that, like a switch had been flipped, the party atmosphere went up a notch. It was all because of Logan. He seemed to infect everyone.

  As he kept laughing, I felt the reverberations through his body as he moved me around. “Huh? Huh? Want to get wet, Sam?” His head straightened, and he hollered across the backyard, “What about it, Derek? If you don’t have a pool, please tell me you have a large tub.�
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  I should’ve been fighting more, but I couldn’t. Logan’s excitement was even affecting me. I had a feeling that I’d be trying to dry off on the drive to see Mason.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  It was dark, nearing one in the morning, when I got to Mason’s house. I called, but he never responded so I was relieved to see the living room lights on when I headed for the front door. Instead of ringing the doorbell, I knocked softly. Mason told me earlier they had practice in the morning, but that it was exam week too, so he didn’t know if people would be sleeping or staying out to party. When the door swung open, I recognized their quarterback.

  He squinted at me, rubbing the side of his face. He pulled the door so it was only a fraction of an inch open. His head poked around the frame. “Who are you?”

  “I’m Samantha, Mason Kade’s girlfriend. You’re Drew, right? We met a few weeks ago.”

  At the mention of ‘girlfriend’, his eyes got big and he stepped back from the door. Still holding it open with a hand, he tilted his head to the side.

  I flushed. He was looking at me like I was an alien. “Is there a problem? Do you have rules that I can’t be here?”

  “You’re Kade’s girlfriend?”

  “You don’t remember me?”

  “No offense, but when his girlfriend was here, I only saw her for an hour. Mason kept her all to himself, not that I could blame him.” He skimmed me up and down. “You sure you’re her?”

  I crossed my arms over my chest. What’d he mean by that? “Yes.”

  “Girls show up all the time and say they’re so and so’s girlfriend. Kade’s serious about his girlfriend so if I let you in and he throws you out, don’t be surprised.”

  “Well, I am his girlfriend and thank you?” This conversation was weird. “I don’t know what to say to that.”

  He shrugged, stepped back, and opened the door wider. “Your funeral, lady, if you aren’t who you say you are.” He gestured up the stairs. “He’s probably still awake. We just got back an hour ago. Second door on the right.”