by Holly Rayner
“What’s wrong?” her sister asked.
“Okay, so when I call you something either has to be wrong or I have to be in trouble. You know I’m a successful adult, right?”
“I do. I also know that you’re a successful adult because you spend most of your time working, even on weekends. So to what do I owe the pleasure of this exchange?”
“I’m hungover.”
“You? Seriously?”
“Yeah. I went to that party and everyone was all coupled up and I just kept drinking and then this guy slept over and now I’m too hungover to accomplish anything. Can I come visit you guys?”
“Whoa, hold on. That was a lot of information, there. You had a guy over?”
“Yeah, but he’s gone now. Anyway, don’t plan on scheduling our wedding. It wasn’t that kind of night.”
“All right then. Yes, we are at home, we were just getting ready to make some pancakes, but we can wait for you if you’d like.”
“Pancakes sound amazing. You go ahead and cook them and I’ll be happy to help you eat them.”
She could hear her niece on the other end of the line shouting into the phone.
“Is Auntie Sophie coming over? I want to show her how good I make pancakes!”
Sophia and Genevieve laughed.
“Well that settles it. You better head over soon. I have hungry children that now refuse to make food until you arrive.”
“I’ll be there in two blinks of an eye.”
“Good. We’ll look forward to it.”
“Bye Auntie Sophie! Come over now!”
“Bye Emma!” Sophie called back into the phone, ending the call.
She stood slowly, her head still a little woozy from so many cocktails. She made short business of dressing in a casual pair of jeans and a comfortable blouse before she grabbed her purse and headed out the door, ordering a ride as she did so. When she stepped out onto the curb, a little red car was waiting for her, and she slid into the passenger side.
“Hi there,” she said, her sunglasses blocking the glare of the sunny spring morning.
“Good morning!” her driver greeted, diving right into a conversation about the weather.
Sophia did her best to sound interested and engaged as the driver made his way to her sister’s spacious apartment, about ten minutes away. She supposed she could have walked it, but in her current condition a ride sounded much nicer. Plus, how could she keep the children waiting any longer? Also, she wanted pancakes.
The car stopped, the driver giving a friendly farewell as Sophia exited the car and gave the man a good rating.
“She’s here! She’s here!”
Looking up, Sophia laughed as the faces of her niece and nephew poked out high above, their tiny voices echoing down. She waved up at them before entering the building, pressing the elevator button and riding up until she reached their floor.
While Genevieve had attended college, she had always wanted to be a mother. She went to a good university upstate, where she met Chris, the man who wooed her into marriage before they even had time to graduate. Not long after, Genevieve was pregnant with their first child, Emma, and after she was born, Genevieve had opted to stay home and raise her full time. Little Jaden came shortly after, and together, Sophia’s niece and nephew were a rambunctious pair that were nothing less than a perfect expression of love.
The door opened before Sophia even had a chance to put her hand on the knob. Emma rushed into her arms, and Sophia swung her into the air, holding her tight as she circled around. She soon had to stop, lest her coffee decide to make a trip back up. She instantly wondered at the wisdom of spending a hangover with small children.
“I want to show you how good I am at making pancakes!” Emma said, her little voice filled with excitement.
Sophia grinned down into her tiny pixie face, setting her down to run back into the house.
“Come on, Auntie Sophie!” she said, gesturing wildly for her aunt to follow.
Sophia did, entering the kitchen, which was quite spacious.
Genevieve’s husband was a banker in New York, and they enjoyed the high life, even as Genevieve strove for a sense of normalcy for her children. She had considered moving them back to Pennsylvania, but Chris’s job wouldn’t allow the move, so she contented herself with a cozy apartment right in the heart of Manhattan.
Genevieve was placing a bowl of cut grapes in front of Jaden, who was seated at their wooden kitchen table. When Sophia walked in, he grinned at her.
“Hi Auntie Sophie,” he said, his mouth already full of grapes.
“Chew your food and swallow before talking, please,” Genevieve scolded, looking at Sophia with an exasperated expression that conveyed just how many times she had had to say those exact words to her child.
Genevieve walked over and gave Sophia a gentle hug, stepping back to take a look at her.
“Well, you’ve looked better.”
“Thanks a lot,” Sophia laughed.
Even she couldn’t deny that the bags under her eyes were a little more pronounced, her posture a little hunched. Seeing a chair, she plopped into it, snagging one of Jayden’s grapes and popping it into her own mouth.
“So where are those pancakes?” she asked, before swallowing her grape.
“Mom! Auntie Sophie talked with grapes in her mouth. Why can’t I do it?”
“Because Auntie Sophie is an adult and a heathen, and you are neither.”
Jaden looked up at Sophia, his eyes wide.
“Auntie Sophie, what’s a heathen?”
Sophia grinned at him, stealing another grape.
“It’s someone who has no manners. Your mother is right—you should never follow my example, except when it comes to schooling and career. If you’re successful, you can eat grapes any way you want.”
“I want to be a banker, like Daddy,” Jaden said, taking care to swallow his own food this time before speaking.
“That’s an exceptional goal. What action steps have you taken toward that end?”
Genevieve cleared her throat as she helped Emma flip a pancake.
“He’s three, Soph. Maybe give him a little more time before outlining his business plan?”
“One can never start too soon,” Sophia laughed.
“Yes one can,” Genevieve disagreed, guiding Emma’s hand as she placed the cooked pancake onto a plate.
Emma jumped down and handed the plate to Sophia.
“Here you go! You can have this one.”
“Thank you, my dear,” Sophia said, eyeing the pancake warily to see if there was more batter than cake in it. Pouring some maple syrup on top, she took a bite, and grinned.
“This is outstanding! You should be a chef, Emma!”
Emma beamed at the praise, allowing her mother to cook up the rest of the pancakes before joining them at the kitchen table. Everyone took a pair of pancakes and smothered them with syrup, butter, and a sprinkle of cinnamon.
“Did you guys know there are people in this world who don’t eat their pancakes with cinnamon?” Sophia asked.
Emma looked completely scandalized.
“Why would they do that to themselves?” she asked, in all seriousness.
Sophia repressed a grin. She had forgotten just how serious something as small as not putting cinnamon on pancakes could affect the mind of a five-year-old.
“I don’t know, Emma. I don’t know. Still, we’re very lucky to know the secret to truly great pancakes, aren’t we?”
Emma nodded with enthusiasm.
“You can thank Grandma and Grandpa for that,” Genevieve said, taking a sip of orange juice. “They taught us everything we know.”
“I miss Grandma and Grandpa,” Jaden said, taking a sip of milk.
“I do, too. We should go visit them soon, shouldn’t we?” Genevieve said, gently stroking a strand of blond hair behind her son’s ear.
Sophia loved watching her sister interact with her children. The gleam of love in her eyes was something So
phia couldn’t even begin to fathom. While she had no desire to be a mother herself, sometimes, in moments like this, she wondered if maybe she might be a little wrong about that.
After breakfast the kids bolted out of the kitchen, their little bodies filled with maple syrup and buckets of energy. Genevieve took advantage of their absence, staring directly at her sister.
“Now, tell me about this man who spent the night. You don’t usually do that kind of thing. What happened?”
“How do you know I don’t usually do that kind of thing? For all you know, I could be the paramour of all of New York.”
Genevieve rolled her eyes.
“Please. You’re never out of the office long enough to do that. So who’s the guy? Are you sure it won’t go anywhere?”
Sophia laughed, thinking again about his abrupt and awkward exit. She shook her head.
“Not a chance. Trust me, Gen. There is no way that I’m ever going to see that guy again, and good riddance.”
Genevieve leaned back into her chair with a sigh.
“Fair enough. I’d love to see you happy in love though, Soph. There’s more to life than work, you know.”
Sophia grinned, placating her sister as she thought more about her designs.
“Of course there is. Now, let’s go see what those kids are up to, shall we?”
The topic of Sophia’s love life was firmly closed. Exactly the way she liked it.
Chapter Four
Sophia sat at the head of the developers’ table, a large projection behind her displaying the results of the past two months of blood, sweat and tears. She was surrounded by an eclectic group of men and women, some of them wearing suits, others dressed more casually. There had never been a dress code at her firm, but Sophia had always believed in dressing for the job you wanted. It was, she believed, part of the reason she was sitting at the head of the table at that very moment.
“So you’ll see the curve of the infrastructure here will allow for the support we need to lean the building while still keeping it upright.”
The group stared at the image behind her, and Sophia hoped that they were looking at it with approval. With unreadable expressions, it was impossible to tell if her idea was being well received or not. After a long silence, Luis spoke.
“I’m just going to say what we’re all thinking. This building is freaking cool.”
A rumble of chuckles circled around the table, and Sophia smiled as the group lit up with compliments and questions, the rest of the meeting spent discussing how to make her next big dream a reality. Luis stood up and walked over to a side table, where a series of muffins and other breakfast items were on display. When he walked past her, muffin in hand, her stomach lurched.
Holding a hand over her mouth, Sophia went pale as her eyes widened. In that moment she realized if she didn’t move fast, she was going to vomit right on that table in front of all of her colleagues.
“Excuse me,” she said, dashing out of the room without looking back.
She ran down the hall and straight into the bathroom, where the contents of her breakfast were unceremoniously dropped into the nearest toilet. She wiped away cool beads of sweat from her brow, resting her head on her arms as she cradled the toilet, wondering what she could have eaten to get so sick, so fast.
As she sat there, her mind going over every possibility, she felt a very cold sinking feeling wash over her.
When was the last time she’d had her period?
Giving her stomach a moment to settle, she took her time standing up, walking with measured steps as she reached her beautiful office. When she sat behind her desk, she pulled up her calendar on her computer, and began counting days.
She counted days at least six times before she had to finally admit to herself that there was a definite possibility that she could be pregnant.
Holding in her panic, she grabbed her purse and stepped out of her office, no longer focusing on the nausea still lingering in her belly. Luis stepped out of the conference room. When he looked at her, his expression grew instantly concerned.
“Sophia? What’s going on? Are you okay? You look terrible.”
Ignoring his comment, she nodded, heading straight towards the elevator.
“I’m just feeling a little under the weather. Can you give the group my apologies? I think I’ve come down with food poisoning.”
“Of course,” he said, watching her as she pressed the elevator button several times before it finally arrived.
She stepped inside, staring out at the city, not bothering to say another word to Luis. Her mind was going a million miles a minute.
There was no way she could be pregnant. They had been careful. They had used protection.
The elevator reached the main floor, and when the doors opened she rushed out into the street, making quick work of getting to the nearest pharmacy, and blushing as she purchased her first pregnancy test. She got the most expensive one, buying two boxes so she could disprove this with absolute certainty.
Not wanting to take the test at work, Sophia held her hand out for a cab, sliding into a yellow car as she gave the driver directions. He sped through the city, though not nearly fast enough for Sophia’s taste. She needed this theory to be disproved immediately, so she could get on with her life. The cab stopped in front of her building, and she stepped back out onto the street, too distracted to thank her driver before he pulled back onto the road looking for more fares.
When she got to her apartment, she was tearing open the first box as she made her way towards the bathroom. Reading the instructions, she followed them, setting the little stick on her bathroom counter as she waited.
She stared at the test from across the room, too scared to look at it. There had only been one man she’d been with in the past several months, and that man was, for a lack of a better term, a complete and utter cad. The thought of having a baby at all was not something Sophia was ready for, but to have a baby with that arrogant beast of a man?
Enough time had passed for her to see her answer. Taking a deep breath, still feeling sick, she stepped over and looked at the results. She slapped a hand over her mouth as she choked back a sob.
It was positive.
Ripping open the second box, she took the second test, waiting a shorter amount of time before she braved a look. The results were identical to the first.
Sophia Simms, workaholic, was pregnant.
Shocked, she sat back on the ledge of her bath tub, her mind somehow completely numb while also racing as she sought to find a solution to this issue. Was Sophia brave enough to have a child? Did she really have a choice? If she decided not to have it, she knew that deep down she would regret the decision forever. Her parents had always wanted her to have a family someday, but would they want one if it meant having to deal with Jed Shields for the rest of their lives?
Not knowing what to do, Sophia stepped back out into her living room and sank into her couch, lifting her phone as she tapped the button to call her sister.
“What’s wrong?” Genevieve asked.
This time she had good reason to ask. Sophia sat in silence for a moment, not knowing where to start.
“Sophie? Where are you? Are you okay?”
The panic rose so quickly in her sister’s voice, it almost made Sophia laugh. At the moment, she didn’t quite feel the humor in the situation.
“I’m fine, I’m fine,” she said.
“You don’t sound fine. What happened?”
Taking a breath, she let it out.
“You remember how I had that one night stand a few months ago.”
“I do,” Genevieve said, her tone cautious.
“Gen…” Sophia breathed. “I’m pregnant.”
“You’re what now?”
“Do not make me say it again.”
“Were you guys safe about it? How did that happen?”
“Of course we were safe! I’m not an idiot. We just fell into that other category that doesn’t make it past the
prevention stage.”
Genevieve was quiet for a moment as she processed that information.
“What are you going to do, Soph?”
Sophia stared out at the city, thinking about the implications of her situation. She thought about Jaden and Emma, and how much she enjoyed spending time with them, watching them learn and develop and grow. What would it be like to raise her own child, to know the love that shone in her sister’s eyes when she looked at her children?
“I think I’m going to go through with the pregnancy,” she said slowly, unsurely.
She could almost hear Genevieve’s sigh of relief.
“I think you will make an excellent mother, Sophie.”
Sophia scoffed.
“I doubt that. What happens when my kid wants me, and I’m at work all the time?”
“Well, your child becomes part of your work. They become the main source of joy in your life. I know it’s hard to see that now, and I know you’re scared, but Sophie, can you tell me any instance in your life when you have ever failed at something?”
Sophia wracked her brain, thinking about everything she had accomplished up to that point.
“Nothing particularly comes to mind,” she said.
“That’s right. You are driven and determined, and that’s what’s brought you so much success. This is no different. I am certain that you will employ the same level of dedication to raising this child, you will give it your very best, like you do with all things, and you will know a greater joy than you have ever experienced, ever.”
Sophia smiled at her sister’s double use of the word “ever,” thinking about her words. What would it be like to have a baby of her own, someone to love unconditionally and without reservation? She had never known such a feeling before. She had never let herself. She had always believed that feelings and emotion got in the way of progress. Now she sensed that she was going to have to unlearn everything she had learned in that department.
“Does the father know?” Genevieve asked.
Sophia shook her head, even though her sister couldn’t see it.
