by Holly Rayner
“He doesn’t. I took the test just a few minutes ago.”
“How do you think he’s going to take it?”
Sophia sighed, thinking about their last encounter, and how utterly terrible it was.
“Honestly, I don’t think it will be good. He and I had a very strong understanding that settling down was the last thing on the list of either of our plans. I imagine he won’t take news like this very well.”
“Hmm,” Genevieve mused. “Well, you just found out, and I can see why this would be a shock for you. You love plans, and structure, and predictability. You will now have none of those things, moving forward. No matter how much you prepare, no one really knows what they’re doing as a parent.”
“That’s so reassuring, thank you,” Sophia snapped.
“I’m just telling you like it is. You want to plan for this? Learn how to go with the flow. Otherwise, you’re going to lose your mind.”
Sophia took a breath, reminding herself that her sister was on her side, and only wanted to help.
“Take the day off, Soph. Try to get some rest. Your body is going to demand it of you over the next nine months. You don’t have to tell the father right away. Come to terms with it yourself first, and then you two can make whatever plans you want for raising the child.”
Sophia’s expression was grim as she thought about having to tell Jed about his unborn child. While her sister’s words were comforting on some level, deep down she knew she wouldn’t be able to wait too long to let him know. Holding that kind of information in, wondering and imagining what would happen, would drive her completely nuts.
“I think I will take the day off,” Sophia said.
“Well now, that is a first. See? You’re already on your way.”
Sophia chuckled, but it wasn’t a happy sound.
“Something like that,” she said.
A loud bang sounded in the background of the phone.
“Emma Claire, what did you do?” Genevieve snapped.
“I’ll let you go,” Sophia said, feeling ever so slightly entertained by the shenanigans of her niece.
Genevieve’s voice was tight as she responded.
“Yes, hopefully the living room is in one piece. Sophie, call me if you need anything, okay? We’re here for you.”
“Thanks, Gen.”
“Oh, and Soph?”
“Yeah?”
“Congratulations.”
Sophia realized then that that was usually the response when news of a pregnancy happened. She felt like anything but congratulations were in order. If she could, she would have a tall, stiff drink.
“Thanks,” she mumbled.
Genevieve ended the call then as she dashed off to stop whatever trouble Emma had gotten into. Sophia continued to stare out at the building across the street, her mind simultaneously counting the windows and thinking about how she was going to break the news of this situation to Jed.
She placed a gentle hand on her flat belly, and she was instantly filled with a sense of wonder.
There was a tiny little person growing in there. Her body was growing a person! She had accomplished many things in her life, but this was on a whole other level. She thought about what it would be like, holding her own baby in her arms, and a wave of protectiveness washed over her.
She could do this. She would have this baby, and she would be the best mom in the entire world.
Sophia opened up her email and sent an apology message to the team, claiming food poisoning, and she was quick to receive well wishes for her health soon after. Seeing that the world would go on without her there, she had mixed feelings of relief and annoyance, but as she sat back against her sofa cushions, she realized for the first time since college that there might actually be some merit in relaxing.
“What do you think, baby? Should we order in some lunch and binge watch something?”
Another wave of nausea swept through her body, and she closed her eyes, waiting for it to pass.
“Okay, I guess that’s a big old no on the food thing. Still, you have to eat, if you want to grow. Let’s keep it simple.”
Sophia had never been the type of person to talk to herself. She had read somewhere that babies could hear their mother’s voice inside the womb, though, so she wanted the little one to feel safe with her. Maybe if he or she did, she could be allowed to eat actual food again.
Rising and heading towards the kitchen, she pulled out a sleeve of saltine crackers and put a pot of tea on the stove to boil. Pulling out her phone, she researched what she could and couldn’t eat and drink, and found herself having hot water with a spritz of lemon juice instead. She eyed the coffee maker longingly, but instantly decided against it.
She spent the rest of the afternoon researching the best ways to treat her body during the pregnancy. In the early evening, she went for a walk around the block, doing her best to stay lightly active, and feeling a little more confident that she did earlier that day.
Sophia was going to be an amazing mother. Whatever Jed decided to do was his own business.
Chapter Five
The next day, Sophia woke up feeling a little better than the day before. Her dreams had been filled with images of her snuggling with her baby, and she placed a gentle hand along her abdomen as she rolled over and gazed out the window, feeling much brighter about the future.
She plucked her phone from her bedside table and crafted another email, this one telling her colleagues that she was still in bad shape and wouldn’t make it into the office. The response was just as timely, and even through the written message she could tell they were shocked.
Sophia Simms had never taken a sick day in her life.
She thought that she would have a hard time with it. After all, work had been an elemental key to her own happiness her whole life, but she felt more free and relaxed than she had possibly ever felt. Somehow the news of her baby had caused a shift in her, and she felt as though that would be the first in many steps that would change her for the better, eventually.
Sophia was smiling as she thought about her baby, but when she remembered her real reason for taking the day off, her lips sank towards her chin.
She knew that she couldn’t put off telling Jed the news for long. It was best to simply get it over with as soon as possible and see what steps would come next. Sitting up, she stretched her lean arms into the air. She imagined that she felt a flutter in her belly, though she knew it was far too soon for that.
For the first time in hours, she felt hungry. Not for breakfast food, though. Sophia wanted spicy hot buffalo wings. She wanted them with such intensity in that moment that her mouth watered at the very thought. She grinned as she hopped out of bed, patting her belly.
“So you like spicy food, huh? Me too.”
Sophia searched on her phone for anywhere she could get chicken wings first thing in the morning. This was New York City after all—anything was possible. After a fruitless search, she ended up running to the local grocer and grabbing a bag of frozen wings, rushing back home to bake them in her oven and smothering them with even more hot sauce once they were done.
Those cheap grocery store wings were by far the yummiest thing she’d eaten in her entire life, she was certain. Delicately wiping a drip of sauce from her kitchen counter, she took a stabilizing breath. It was time to get ready.
Sophia dressed, taking care to look as professional as possible. She had never exchanged numbers with Jed, which gave her no choice but to go and seek him out personally. Besides, this wasn’t exactly the kind of news one sent via text message anyway. Sliding into a sleek black pencil skirt and blazer, Sophia then stepped into a pair of black heels and checked her reflection one last time.
For reasons she couldn’t explain, she wanted to look extra good. She wanted him to know that she, Sophia Simms, was a powerful woman and a force to be reckoned with. If he wanted nothing to do with her and the baby, that was totally fine by her, but she had to at least give him the chance. Perhaps he would surprise he
r. After all, she had already surprised herself with her own change of heart, once she was able to calm down.
Sophia made quick work of finding a cab, guiding the driver to Jed’s building. As the cab pulled up to the curb, the platinum plated archways towered above the street below, beckoning passersby to admire their beauty. In spite of herself, Sophia did so, thinking how well the advertising agency sold itself through its architecture.
She pressed open one of the doors, walking into a cool, gray entryway. There were security gates, and she nodded to the guard as she passed through, acting as though she had every right to be there. When the monitor didn’t beep, the guard nodded back, and she made her way to the elevators.
There was a directory on the wall, and Sophia glanced at it briefly, finding Shields Group to be on the fifty-seventh floor. A group of people dressed in full power suits began crowding around her, and when the doors opened, a wave of people swooping in and out caught her off guard. Squaring her shoulders, she pressed her way into the elevator, pressing the button for her floor on the way in.
With each floor, the elevator emptied out little by little. Finally, there was only Sophia and two other men, both of whom stayed inside once the door opened to let her out. Keeping her expression perfectly neutral, she stepped toward a glass desk, where a young secretary sat behind a sleek computer. When Sophia approached, the girl looked up.
“Can I help you, ma’am?”
“Yes, I have an appointment to speak with Jed Shields this morning. It’s regarding advertising for an architectural project. I’m Sophia Simms.”
She had come up with the lie earlier that morning, in case she would have to sneak her way into his office. She debated on whether to give her real name or not. She remembered how impressed he’d been by it when he was still trying to seduce her. How quickly that had changed the morning after.
“One moment while I check to see if he’s ready, Miss Simms.”
Sophia held her breath as the woman stepped out from behind her desk and went back towards an enclosed office area. Shifting from one foot to the other, she tried not to think about getting kicked out, half wondering if that would be better than being invited in.
After several long, agonizing moments, the girl returned, her face unreadable.
“Mr. Shields will see you in his office. It’s all the way to the back on the left. Would you like me to show you?”
Sophia shook her head, not wanting company for this interaction.
“I’m sure I can find it just fine. Thank you for your help.”
“Any time,” she girl said, turning her attention back to her computer.
Time seemed to slow as Sophia made her way towards the back corner office. She felt like an imposter, being so nervous. Sophia Simms was a woman in control of her own life, and no one cowed her. Especially not some self-absorbed marketer whose job was to sell people things they didn’t really need or want.
Pumping herself up with similar thoughts, Sophia put one foot in front of the other until she reached the sturdy doorframe outside of Jed’s office. Seeing the door open, she braced herself, doing her best to exude confidence and nonchalance as she stepped inside without knocking.
Sophia had barely cared when Jed had come and gone as he did. Seeing him again, her stomach started doing flips. Somehow he was even more handsome than she’d remembered, and their passionate night together flew back into her mind’s eye. It had been pretty fantastic, much as she didn’t want to admit it.
When Jed looked up, he smirked, sitting back in his seat.
“Sophia Simms. Making up excuses to come back for more, are we?”
Sophia considered walking out in that moment, never letting him know the truth and never letting her child know who his or her father was. Who would want such a father, anyway? Taking a breath to calm her temper, she sat across from him, ready to knock him off his feet.
“Actually, no. I am pleased, however, to see that you’ve remembered my name this morning.”
“What? I didn’t remember it the last time we met?”
“You did not, not that it matters. I’ve snuck into your office today to give you the charming news that you’re about to become a father.”
Jed’s face was frozen in a snarky position, like he didn’t believe what she had said.
“Did you get me a pet? I should tell you that I don’t really have time for pets, so being a dad isn’t going to work for me.”
Sophia locked eyes with him as she leaned in.
“Listen very carefully, Jed. Two months ago you and I did the deed. The birth control we used, as it would turn out, was ineffective. I have been with no one else since that time, and yesterday I found out that I am pregnant. Surprise.”
Her tone was deadpan as she explained the reality of their situation to Jed, who sat in stunned silence, his cocky smile slowly fading.
“You’re lying. If it’s money you want, that’s fine, but don’t make up a fake baby just to steal from me.”
“Are you serious? You really think I need your money?”
Jed pushed his chair back and began pacing around the room like a caged tiger, clearly trying desperately to make sense of an impossible situation, just as she had. Part of her empathized with him in that. The other part wanted to punch him in his perfect, arrogant face. After a while he finally looked back at her.
“You’re absolutely certain? There is such thing as a false positive, you know.”
“Yes, I’m aware. Now if you could curb your cockiness a bit, you might comprehend that I am an intelligent being that knows how to determine whether there is one line on a stick or two.”
Jed ran a hand over his eyes, as though he could wipe away the situation by not seeing the pregnant woman sitting in his office.
“You’re a modern woman. You value your success over having your achievements snuffed out by having a family weighing you down. So why have you come to tell me about this baby? I can’t believe you would want to keep it.”
Sophia placed a protective hand around her middle. Jed’s eyes darted to it before they went back to her face, his eyes wide with panic.
“You would think that, but it turns out I really do, and I am going to. I didn’t come here today to ask you for any special favors or for money. I came here today to let you know you’re going to be a father.”
Jed plopped back into his chair, his eyes searching the room as though he could find a solution pasted onto the walls. Finally, he sighed, meeting her gaze once again.
“I respect your decision, even if I don’t understand it. That being the case, you can expect financial compensation from me for the child, so that it can attend the best schools and be clothed in whatever it wants. Whatever you need to take care of it will be provided.”
Sophia stared at him. The truth was, she hadn’t really known what to expect when she showed up to his office. She planned on telling him, then taking it from there. Hearing him refer to their child as an “it” with such cold detachment hardened her heart against him even further.
“You can keep your money Jed. We won’t be needing it. If you have forgotten, I’m quite capable of taking care of myself and this child on my own, and I won’t let you get off thinking you’re a good guy just because you offered to throw money in my direction. You can either be a father to this child or not. There is no in between. When you’re ready to make a decision about that, you can give me a call.”
Tossing a business card on his desk, Sophia turned on her heel and walked out of his office, not looking back. She imagined his stunned expression as she did so, and she wondered for a moment whether he would come after her.
By the time she got to the elevator and pressed the button, she knew that he wouldn’t. When the doors opened, the elevator was filled to the brim once again, and Sophia had to squeeze herself in amongst an ocean of suits and perfumed bodies. One scent in particular wasn’t sitting well with her, and she held her breath as best she could all the way down, trying to think of a
nything but throwing up, and Jed Shields.
When the doors opened, she pressed her way back through the crowd until she made her way to the street, where she took a very deep breath of fresh air. Not quite ready to go back to her apartment, Sophia made her way down the sidewalk, walking in the direction of Central Park. When she got there, she picked a path and began aimlessly walking, thinking about what she was going to do about raising a baby on her own.
Of course, she would have to find childcare. There was no way she could keep up with being an architect and a mother without some kind of help. Perhaps, after a time, she could design from home, and find a way to make that work. She thought about how tired her sister had looked when her babies were first born, how she barely slept, and how she was always covered with some kind of bodily fluid. How was Sophia going to handle something like that?
Cheers erupted from around the corner of her path, and Sophia walked on until she reached the edge, where a series of baseball diamonds were located. There, a group of kindergarten-aged children were playing a game of tee-ball while their parents cheered them on from the sidelines. Sophia stepped over, watching as a young boy swung at a ball over and over again until he hit it. Everyone began running in circles while the coach desperately tried to get the team to look at the actual ball.
Sophia chuckled, as did most of the parents in the stands. The kid made his way all the way around the bases, even passing the ball he had hit as it sat untouched in the dirt, before he jumped onto home base, smiling broadly into the crowd. He waved to his mother, who waved back enthusiastically, her eyes light with humor and love.
Sophia stayed and watched the rest of the game. The blue team ended up winning by default, though almost everyone scored a home run. When the game ended, several of the kids were propped up on their dads’ shoulders as they chattered happily about getting to hit the ball and run around the bases. There was an ice cream truck strategically parked just outside of the diamond, and Sophia tried not to stare too obviously as the kids picked out their favorite ice cream and laughed with their families as they strolled out of sight.
