Playing It Safe

by Barbie Bohrman

  My eyes tear up because of the pain I see in his, and more than anything, the obvious guilt he still feels over losing Katerina. I can’t even begin to imagine what that must be like, and it makes my so-called sob story of being jilted by Aiden all those years ago seem like a cakewalk.

  He smiles in an effort to lighten the heavy mood in the air, but it’s forced. Both of us have long forgotten about eating at this point. Alex unclenches his fist and then reaches for his wineglass and takes a sip. When he sets it back down on the table, he clears his throat before filling in the rest of the gaps, namely Marisa’s place in all of this.

  “That was eleven years ago, and it took a while for me to move on, but I did. Marisa, on the other hand, as well as her parents, never has.” His index finger starts to trace the rim of the wineglass before leaning back in his chair. “Marisa was fourteen years old when Katerina died, which is a very difficult age to lose someone you care so much about. But I think what has made it worse for her over the years is the fact that their parents idolized Katerina and put her on a pedestal as if she could do no wrong. As a result, Marisa has been living the last few years of her life in a shadow.”

  “I don’t understand,” I say to him, genuinely confused. “But what does that have to do with you all these years later?”

  “Guilt is a funny thing, Julia,” he replies with a forced grin. “As I said, my parents are still very close to Marisa’s parents, and I guess in their minds they think me taking Marisa out every so often is helping the situation. But it’s not, it just makes everything more …”

  “Complicated.”

  “Yes,” he confirms in a rush of breath. “Very complicated.”

  “So that explains the invitation to the party and why she’s so interested in you. If I’m being too nosy with my next question, by all means tell me.” Alex nods as an eyebrow cocks upward in curiosity. “Should I be worried about her?”

  He runs a hand through his hair and then starts to rub the back of his neck, and that alone makes me nervous of his answer. “Not really.”

  Before I can ask him to clarify that answer, he says, “We kissed one time a few years ago, but I swear that is as far as it went. I had a few drinks, and in a moment of complete stupidity I let it happen.”

  I want to believe him when he tells me there is essentially nothing going on between the two of them other than the one kiss and him escorting her out sometimes. I’m certain he’s doing it more out of guilt than anything else. Is it weird and creepy? A little bit, but I get it. However, that doesn’t explain why Marisa would be telling Aiden’s fiancée that there is more between them. But I make a conscious decision not to dig deeper. The way I see it, I have to believe Alex’s explanation versus Aiden’s because … well, Aiden’s track record speaks for itself.

  “What are you thinking?” he asks, his voice quiet and unsure. “You’re awfully quiet.”

  “Honestly? A bunch of things.”

  “Care to pinpoint?”

  “Well, I never thought I’d say this, but I feel sorry for Marisa, and even worse that I was kind of a bitch to her,” I say sheepishly. And it’s the truth. I can’t even begin to imagine what she’s gone through.

  “So you’re okay with all of this?”

  “As far as understanding it and why you’ve continued to take her out, yes, I am. But I have to be totally honest with you,” I say. “I’m not really okay with you continuing to do so if we’re going to be together.” I pause and take note of his expression softening, as if he was holding a breath until I answered. “I don’t share, Alex.”

  “I haven’t been anywhere with her since that opening at the gallery a couple of weeks ago,” he clarifies. Then he adds with an impish grin, “And I’m glad to hear you don’t share, Julia, because I don’t either.”

  My lips twitch to keep my smile in check. We sit there for a few seconds not saying a word. The pull I felt a little while ago of wanting to comfort him is still battling within me. It’s such an odd feeling to want to comfort a man I’m in a relationship with, and I would normally brush it off, but I don’t want to with Alex. Before I can chicken out, I stand up, his eyes tracking my movements as I walk around the small table to him. He pivots in his seat and makes room for me in between his legs. I take his face in my hands and tilt his chin up as I bend down and place a light kiss on his forehead. Alex closes his eyes at the contact, so I keep planting soft kisses down the bridge of his nose, eyelids, cheeks, chin, and finally his mouth. For some reason, this moment feels far more intimate to me than the ones we’ve shared in the bedroom, and I like it. A lot.

  His arms encircle my waist, pulling me closer to him, and I weave my fingers into his hair until I’m cradling his head against my stomach. “I’m sorry I ruined this amazing dinner you made just for me with all of this, and that your stress ball exploded. I really should have told you sooner, and I feel terrible about it,” he says, his voice slightly muffled against my body. “Let me make it up to you.”

  “The dinner can be nuked, so that’s easily fixed. As for the stress ball, it was about time I got rid of that thing anyway. So you see”—I stop and pull his face back to look into his questioning eyes—“you didn’t ruin a thing, and there is no need to apologize. But …”

  “But what?” he asks with a smirk on his face.

  “But I do know how you can make it up to me.”

  “Even though you just said I have no reason to apologize,” he shoots back with a hint of sarcasm.

  “Yup.” I bite my lip to keep from laughing.

  “Go ahead, name it.”

  Ah, this … this banter that I can do with my arms tied behind my back is definitely more my speed. I don’t regret the intimate moment, but I need to use baby steps with him because I know that I’m letting my guard down, and there won’t be any turning back.

  “It involves the baseball hat and other things.”

  Alex brings his hand up to hook his arm around my neck and pulls me down so my lips are level with his. His breath is warm when he speaks, causing all my nerve endings to prickle with delight. “Start heating up the food so I can show you other things.”

  I whisper back to him, “With the baseball hat?”

  “Most definitely with the baseball hat.”

  I reheat our food, we eat, and move the evening along to other things that may or may not include him calling me Freckles in bed once.

  Okay, okay, maybe twice.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  I wake up in Alex’s bed, and we make love in a semi-sleep state that feels as if I’m suspended in a dream.

  This isn’t out of the ordinary for me, seeing as how I’ve been having sex with him on a daily basis for the last month. But the fact that I set his alarm to go off at the ass crack of dawn for Josie’s birthday party today and the alarm hasn’t gone off yet has me wondering what the hell is going on. Not complaining or anything, just slightly disoriented, but in the best way possible.

  Afterward, when we’re both coming down from our high, he nuzzles his nose along mine and starts to press featherlight kisses across my cheek until he reaches my ear. “Good morning.”

  “Good morning to you too,” I answer on a contented sigh. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but do you think you can wake me up like that every day? I’d be forever grateful.”

  He rolls over onto his back and takes me with him. Smiling as his hand trails up and down my spine while he’s still inside of me, he replies, “I’ll see what I can do.”

  I tilt my head over to peek at the clock and notice the time. Ugh. It’s five forty-five a.m. Seriously, if it wasn’t for Josie’s party today, I could easily stay in this bed all day with him after taking a nice long nap.

  We kiss and I start to move off of him, but he wraps his arms around me and pulls me back down. “Alex,” I say through a giggle, “I have to start getting ready. Some of the deliveries are going to be here in about fifteen minutes.”

  “Two more minutes,” he says, sounding mu
ffled against my neck. “Then you can get out of this bed.”

  I’m a sucker for his two-minute request, so I stay right where I am and let him hold me in his strong arms. My hair blankets each side of his face when I pick my head up to look at him. I cup his face in my hands as a lazy smile sweeps across his lips along with the dimples.

  My finger traces the outline of one before I kiss it. “I really need to get moving here, Alex.”

  He tilts my head and kisses me softly on the lips before letting me go. I nearly tumble out of bed in a dead sprint to the shower and hear him laughing behind me. So much for trying to be graceful, but I literally have just a few minutes to get myself in gear before the delivery trucks start arriving.

  When I finish with my half-ass shower and go back into the bedroom, he’s making the bed while wearing a pair of dark pajama bottoms and looking as yummy as ever. I swear to Christ on a cracker, watching his lean and muscular body move around the side of the bed is a sight to behold, and I don’t think I could ever get sick of it.

  “If you keep staring at me like that, you’ll only have yourself to blame for being late this time,” he says over his shoulder, catching me red-handed.

  I scrunch my nose at him, making him chuckle, before I go to my overnight bag to grab my clothes and get dressed as quickly as possible. Since I’m setting up the party, I don’t have to go all out yet with the nice outfit, makeup, and hair. Which translates to I’ll probably have to shower again after I finish and before the guest of honor arrives.

  I turn on my heel and head into his kitchen to turn on the coffee machine. While waiting for it to start brewing, I rummage through my purse and pull out my iPad. I’m checking off the items I can easily take care of when Alex comes strolling into the kitchen and wraps his arms around me from behind.

  His stubble tickles my neck as he says, “I think you’re more excited for this party than my niece is.”

  “I don’t know about that.” My eyes stay focused on the list in front of me. “Last time I talked to her she was busting at the seams.”

  “What time is she supposed to be here?”

  “I told Vanessa to bring her over at noon, and no sooner, because the guests will start arriving about a half hour after that. By then everything will be set up, and I want to be able to give her a private tour of everything.”

  My head pops up like a dog hearing a faraway whistle at the sound of the first truck pulling into Alex’s driveway. I tilt my head to the side and give him a quick peck on the lips. “Trucks are starting to pull up. I’ve gotta go.”

  “I’ll be in my office if you need anything. Something tells me you won’t, but it makes me feel better saying it anyway.” He drops his arms and spins around to grab a mug of coffee for himself. “Go ahead, I’ll bring you a cup once it’s done.”

  With my iPad in one hand and phone in the other, and smiling like an idiot because he’s right—I may very well be just as excited as Josie and want to get on with decorating the shit out of his house—I lean forward and kiss his cheek again before saying thank you and heading toward the door.

  While I’m overseeing the delivery trucks, I’m thinking how much my life has changed in the last month. How this relationship with Alex has grown into something more than I thought it could ever be. I smile thinking about how much I’ve grown to care about him and how much I miss him when we’re not together. Sometimes it feels like we can’t get enough of each other.

  And I love that.

  I never thought I’d feel that way about someone ever again, but miracles do happen.

  I feel it in his touch, his eyes, his words, and most importantly his actions. Because a guy can say just about anything, but it’s what he actually does that proves he means those words. Trust me on this one, I’ve heard and seen it all before.

  “Here you go,” he says, sneaking up on me and handing me my cup of coffee. Just like he promised he would.

  I say a quick thanks, and he kisses my forehead before retreating into the house.

  A huge grin on my face, my eyes stay focused on the closed door long after he’s gone.

  Yeah, Alex definitely isn’t just some guy.

  Not by a long shot.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  I’ve spent the last six hours knee-deep in Muggles, Squibs, wizards, and witches. But it paid off because Alex’s house and backyard looks like Harry Potter took a dump all over it and then some. In other words, it looks so freaking awesome that it might even give Universal in Orlando a run for its money.

  From the makeshift brick wall in his foyer emulating platform nine and three-quarters and the broomstick parking spot affixed to it—since the children invited were told to bring a broom of their own for a Quidditch match later in the day—to the Sorting Hat area and a replica of Professor Trelawney's and Professor Snape’s classrooms just to name a few, everything looks amazing, and I couldn’t be more pleased.

  All of this might have propelled me to super-duper geekdom status, but I’ll gladly wear the moniker because when Josie arrives in a few minutes she is going to flip her lid.

  I leave Lisette running around outside directing the caterers while I duck inside to take another shower and get dressed again. This time though I put on something a little nicer in the form of a strapless black maxi dress with embellished sandals, and I work a French braid into the front of my hair that ends in a side ponytail. I am racing around Alex’s bedroom looking for my earrings when he steps inside and leans against one of the bedposts, watching me run around like a chicken with its head cut off.

  “My parents just called me and said they’ll be here any minute,” he says casually.

  Um, yeah, I kind of completely blanked out on his parents being here too and that I would be meeting them for the first time today.

  I freeze in mid-step and throw him an oh shit look because now I’m all kinds of nervous. Granted, I’ve met his sister and obviously his niece, but this is pretty huge. Especially for me, since I never get far enough with a guy I’m seeing to meet his parents, and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named doesn’t count. In fact, let’s just forget about him, shall we? Sounds like a plan.

  “What’s wrong?” Alex asks, concerned and coming over to where I’m standing.

  I mumble something unintelligible under my breath, trying to play it off like everything is cool when it’s totally not.

  He rubs my arms up and down as a small smile plays on his lips. “Are you nervous that you’re going to meet my parents?”

  “Maybe a little,” I admit.

  Truth be told, I’m scared shitless.

  “Julia Boyd, the toughest woman I know, is afraid of my parents. Well, this just got all kinds of interesting.”

  I roll my eyes and smack him lightly on the arm. “Alex, it’s not funny. This is kind of a big deal, and I’d like to make a good impression.”

  With his thumb and index finger, he lifts my chin and brushes his lips against mine while still smiling. “You have nothing to be nervous about. I promise you that they’re going to love you.”

  “That’s easy for you to say.”

  He cocks his eyebrow in response. It takes me a second, but I realize that I somewhat intimated that he loves me with my answer, and yeah, that would be a little presumptuous seeing as how we haven’t gone there with each other yet.

  I hastily backpedal my response. “What I mean to say is you know me, truck-driver mouth and all. They don’t, so … yeah, that’s about all I got right now, and …”

  Alex bites his bottom lip to keep from laughing while I ramble on. He pulls me into his arms, his lips poised over mine, and he quietly says, “Shut up, Julia.”

  “Don’t tell me to shut up.”

  “I just did.”

  “Yeah, well, don’t do it again.”

  “Are you going to keep talking, or are you going to let me kiss you?”

  “Not if you tell me to shut up again.”

  “Are you done talking now?”

  “Are you
really asking me that?”

  “Are you answering my question with a question?”

  I open my mouth to say something back to him that is not in the form of a question, but he starts to kiss me, and quite frankly, I don’t give a rat’s ass anymore because he can shut me up like this anytime he likes.

  The doorbell rings, and we reluctantly break off the kiss.

  “Remind me to pick this up later right where we just left off,” he says in a low voice that makes my insides squirm.

  “You’ve got yourself a deal.”

  The doorbell sounds off again. I grab the backs of my earrings and put them on as I’m walking toward the front door to answer it, Alex following behind me.

  I peek through the side glass panels and see that it’s Josie and Vanessa on the other side. Without a minute to waste, I swing the door open to find Josie smiling so wide all I see is her braces. God, she is so freaking cute.

  “Julia!” she squeals and throws her arms around my waist.

  “Hey, girlie!”

  Vanessa pushes her sunglasses up on her head and sighs. “She’s been awake and fully dressed since seven o’clock this morning, asking me every ten minutes if it’s time to go yet.”

  “Seriously?” I ask her, but Josie answers instead with a resounding yes.

  Alex appears beside me and bends his head down to Josie’s level. “You’re not even going to say hello to me, are you?”

  “Don’t be silly, Uncle Alex,” she says in a matter-of-fact voice and releases me.

  It gives me a chance to properly say hello to Vanessa while Alex scoops Josie up in his arms. Her feet dangle at least two feet off the ground, her blond curls bouncing down her back.

  When he puts her down, Alex gives his sister a big hug and kiss on the cheek as Josie looks on impatiently.

  “Okay, girlie, are you ready to enter Hogwarts?”

  She clasps her hands underneath her chin and nods.