Her Christmas Baby Bump
Page 5
Damn. He realized his breath was a little fast, and his heart rate, too, and it was a good thing she disappeared into the labor suite or he might have found his feet heading her way before he’d even thought about it.
The attraction he’d felt for her before, just from seeing her in the hospital, was nothing compared to the attraction he felt now that he knew a little more about how smart and charming she was. How good she tasted, how soft her skin felt, how beautiful every inch of her body was. How well her body fit his, and how he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about all that since the moment he’d kissed her goodbye.
That kiss had been sweet and hot and intense like all the others they’d shared. A kiss that had felt as if it held plenty of promise, until she’d broken it and taken a step back and he’d known the promise wasn’t there at all. Something about the look on her face at that moment had shown she wanted to bring a distance between them that wasn’t just physical. A determined look that said she’d meant it when she’d stated there was no possibility of them spending any more time together, and he had to wonder why.
Also wonder if, maybe, he could convince her otherwise.
Or maybe karma was catching up with him, and he was getting served with the “it’s been fun but gotta run” that he’d ended relationships with many a time. Except she wanted to end this one a whole lot sooner than he’d ever done. He knew he should just enjoy the memory of their one night and move on. He also knew he damn well couldn’t forget all about Hope Sanders, even though she’d said and shown loud and clear that he had no choice about it.
Could all these unsettling feelings be a sign he’d been in Cambridge long enough? A sign that it was time to move on? He didn’t want or need to get entwined with any one woman or any one place. Maybe he should start thinking of where in the world he’d like to live next.
With that thought, he went into the procedure room to see his patients, John and Angela Walters. Resolutely refocusing his attention on his job and what they all hoped to achieve.
“Good morning,” Aaron said as he sat in front of Angela. “The big day is here. Are you two ready?”
“More than ready, Dr. Cartwright. You know we’ve been waiting for this for a long time,” John said through his surgical mask, reaching to grip his wife’s hand as she lay in the hospital bed, gowned and ready. While they were understandably on edge, the couple seemed slightly more relaxed than they had been in his office last Friday, and Aaron was glad to see it. Hopefully that meant they’d listened to all he’d talked to them about and had read the extra literature. Knew the risks, and also that the odds were in their favor for achieving what they hoped for, which was a successful pregnancy and healthy baby.
“Dr. Miller told me your part went well, John.” Next came a little light humor, which always helped everyone relax. “I hope it wasn’t miserable—Dr. Miller and I both dread being on people’s hate list. Makes it hard to sleep.”
“Guess your sleep is safe enough,” John said, his eyes smiling over his mask. “Not something I want to do every day, but it wasn’t too terrible.”
“Glad to hear it. And we shouldn’t have to do it again, even if we need to try the ICSI once more. Freezing the fertilized embryos in case we need them will make things easier next time, though I have every hope that won’t be necessary.”
“I still can’t believe freezing doesn’t hurt them, Dr. Cartwright,” Angela said, the anxious look forming on her face again.
“It is a little hard to imagine, isn’t it? But they’re still really just cells at that point so it’s true, I promise.”
“I, um, know I already said this.” Angela nervously licked her lips, and Aaron prepared himself for whatever misgivings she might be having. “But I’m worried about implanting only two eggs. We’ve been through so much, and I know John and I can handle multiples, if that should happen.”
“Two implanted eggs should result in a baby,” he said, trying to keep his voice gentle and understanding, but it was an effort to battle down his frustration. If only would-be parents fully believed and understood the challenges he tried to educate them about. The kinds of challenges and terrible consequences that the stress of multiple births sometimes put parents through.
Your mother just couldn’t handle so many babies on her own, Aaron. I’m sorry we came all this way and she didn’t want to see you. But everyone’s hoping she can get better and leave the hospital sometime soon. We’ll visit another time, okay? Maybe she’ll want to see you then.
Aaron squeezed his eyes shut for a second, willing away the unwelcome memory of one of his foster parents’ words. One foster parent out of several, whose names he couldn’t remember anymore. One of many memories, some the same, some different, but always disturbing. Always painful. Hating that they invaded his brain when he least wanted them.
He opened his eyes to focus on Angela, somehow giving her a smile. Forcing his voice to a lighter tone. “A woman isn’t a Golden Retriever, you know. Your very human uterus wasn’t designed to carry a litter of pups, was it?”
“Okay, point taken.” Aaron was relieved to see her smile, glad it wasn’t going to become an issue just before the procedure was to begin. “I never thought I’d say this to anyone except John, but—are you ready to make a baby?”
“Oh, yeah, I’m ready,” Aaron said. They all chuckled, and he looked around for the nurse to get this show on the road. The quicker they got Angela sedated and her eggs retrieved, the better.
Except only the ultrasound technician and the patient care specialist were there, not his nurse. “Where’s Kathy?”
“I don’t know, Doctor. She hasn’t been here since I brought the Walters in.”
Strange. Kathy was as reliable as an atomic clock. “Would you mind finding her? I—”
“Dr. Cartwright.” A nurse poked her head through the doorway. “Wanted to let you know Kathy’s come down with a nasty bug, and she’s had to go home.”
“Can you assist me, then?”
“Sorry.” Her face twisted in apology. “I’m helping one of the midwives with a delivery. And baby’s coming soon so I need to get back in there.”
“All right. Thanks.” Well, damn. He pulled down his mask to give another reassuring smile to the couple. “Sorry, but you’ll have to hang on just a few more minutes. I’ll find a nurse and be right back.”
He strode toward the labor and delivery suite, figuring he could find a midwife whose patient wouldn’t be delivering for a while, and who would be quite safe in the hands of the midwife’s assistant until later. Refusing to admit that the assistant he really wanted to find had long blonde hair and sweet lips and a body that was beyond seductive, even in shapeless green scrubs.
Then, as though he’d willed it, the woman on his mind stepped out of the doorway he’d seen her go into not much earlier.
“Hope.” He picked up the pace until he stood next to her. Close enough to see the fascinating green and black flecks within the blue of her eyes. “I’m about to retrieve a patient’s eggs, then do ICSI, except my nurse has gone home sick. Any chance you’re free to assist?”
“Assist?” Her blue eyes stared up at him, and the zing that had happened the second he’d met her at the party crackled the air between them. Against his will, he found his gaze dropping to her full pink lips as she licked them. Nervously? Because she felt the same electric current he did?
He couldn’t help but smile at that thought, but the hospital corridor wasn’t exactly the place to see where all that electricity might lead, since he was pretty sure it would be similar to a high-voltage lightning strike like before. He schooled his expression into a professional cool. “Yes. I’ll need you to do an IV sedation and monitor her as I retrieve the eggs. Should only take about ten minutes. Twenty tops.”
“All right.” Her face relaxed into a smile. “I’ve never seen this procedure,
so it should be interesting.”
“Good. The patient is a little nervous, so I appreciate your helping before she gets too worried.”
As he’d expected, Mr. and Mrs. Walters were looking anxious again. “Nurse Midwife Hope Sanders is here to help, Angela. Hope, this is Angela and John Walters. Right after we retrieve the eggs, I’m going to do the ICSI procedure to fertilize them and see which ones want to develop into a baby.”
“Thank you for coming, Hope.” Angela was gripping her husband’s hand like a lifeline. “We were getting worried we’d have to wait until another time, and that would be torture.”
“I’m happy to help,” Hope said, her smile friendly and sincere as she scrubbed and put on a gown and mask. “The CRMU prides itself on avoiding patient torture whenever possible.”
The couple chuckled, and Aaron marveled at how easily she put them at ease—much more easily than he’d managed to do. “Time for you to go to sleep for a little while, Angela. Hope, will you please get her IV sedation going?”
Aaron watched her place the IV in Angela’s arm, impressed at how quickly and painlessly she had it ready. The woman was obviously an excellent nurse, which didn’t surprise him. He’d bet she was a great midwife, too, chatting with birthing mothers in the same soothing tone she was using with Angela, having the woman more relaxed than he’d ever seen her.
“Nicely done, Hope. Obviously an expert.”
Her eyes smiled at him over her mask before she administered the drug and in moments the patient was sedated. The ultrasound tech placed the monitor just above Angela’s pelvis to give Aaron a good picture of her ovaries.
“John, you’re welcome to stay, but it may make you uncomfortable to watch. If you decide you want to wait outside, we all completely understand and will take good care of Angela.”
John nodded, and the way his face paled just from the ultrasound told Aaron the man would probably have to leave when the needle was inserted to retrieve his wife’s eggs. He knew the man wanted to be there though, and tried to distract him by explaining what was going on, to keep his attention on the monitor instead of the needle that tended to freak out husbands.
“Watch the monitor, John,” he said as he worked. “You’re looking at Angela’s ovary. We’ve got some good-sized follicles here, which should give us a nice number of eggs.”
“Yes. Good.”
Aaron glanced at John, who’d gone a pasty gray and was leaning a little sideways in his chair. He sent a quick look to the patient care specialist and nodded toward John before turning his attention back to the monitor again. “Don’t want you to pass out, John. How about going out to the waiting room? We’ll be done here in no time, then you can come back to support Angela when she wakes up. Okay?”
The patient care specialist had obviously gotten the hint and was already taking John’s arm and leading him from the room. As Aaron studied the monitor while he worked he was aware of Hope intently watching the procedure.
“Glad you noticed he wasn’t looking too well. I was about to say the exact same thing, though it wouldn’t really have been my place to do that.”
“Keeping someone from fainting and cracking their head open on the floor is anyone’s job.” Their eyes met, and being able to just see her eyes and not the rest of her pretty face made him notice how long her lashes were. How expressive her gaze was.
“How many eggs do you usually get?” she asked.
“Eight to ten is a good number, but the number might be a lot smaller if the woman is older. Angela thankfully has quite a few eggs, considering she’s going on forty. Shouldn’t have any problem getting some very viable ones.”
“That’s good news for them, I assume?”
“Hopefully. But the next part of the equation might be the trickiest one.”
“What part?”
Since she was a member of the medical team helping with the procedure, it was perfectly ethical to share their history with her, and he explained the details of the ICSI procedure.
She nodded, a thoughtful crease between her brows as she stared at the monitor. “So what happens now?”
“In just a few more minutes, I’ll be done retrieving the fluid and eggs, then they’ll be sent to the IVF lab. They’ll be rinsed in a culture media and put in a dish for about four hours, then they’ll be ready for fertilization. I’ll study the eggs to see which look the most viable and choose two.”
“Amazing. I’ve been told all this but—”
She abruptly stopped speaking, and the strange, alarmed look in her eyes caught his attention. As did the fact that what he could see of her face not covered by her mask had flushed scarlet. What was all that about?
“Told all this?” he prompted.
“Nothing. I mean, in nursing school I’d been told it. Learned about it.”
She turned away, busying herself with checking Angela’s vital signs. Aaron studied her another moment, then dismissed his thought that she’d suddenly acted strange. Probably imagining it.
“So that’s it,” he said, leaning back and gathering the dishes he’d placed the fluids in as the ultrasound technician cleaned up her things and left the room. “Do you need to check on your patient, or do you have time to wake Angela? If you can, I’ll check on her and prescribe some pain meds, then have someone keep an eye on her for about an hour before she’s discharged.”
“Let me check on my patient, then I’ll let you know one way or another, though I expect she’s still far from ready to deliver.” Hope stood and placed her hand on his shoulder. “I want to tell you that what you do is so impressive. So wonderful that doctors like you can give people who can’t have babies the family they want. It’s... You have to feel great about that.”
“All doctors train to help people in different ways. I like what I do, but it probably isn’t quite as important as brain surgery or treating someone’s cancer.” He didn’t add that in addition to helping people create the baby they desperately wanted, his mission was to help prevent the kind of tragedy his own family had suffered.
“Those are important, yes. But believe me when I say that what you do is incredibly important too.” To his surprise, she leaned down and pressed her lips to his forehead, and, even though she still had on her paper mask, it felt nice. Nice enough that he wanted to stand up and press his own mouth to hers to see if a paper-mask kiss with her might almost be better than a real kiss with anyone else.
He shook his head at the stupid thought. After only one night, the woman had bewitched him, and he knew at that moment he couldn’t just accept her telling him more time together was out of the question without understanding why. Without pursuing her a little more to see if, maybe, she didn’t really mean it after all.
“Since you’re so interested in the procedure, could you find time around one p.m. today to come watch the fertilization process? It’s pretty incredible to see. I think you’d be fascinated.”
“I’d love that, and I’ll be off work by then.” Her eyes shone at him over her mask, then the glow faded. “I do have an appointment though, and I’m not sure how long it will take. But if I can be there, I will. I’ll go check on my patient and be right back.”
He watched her leave the room, and it was hard to imagine there could be anything sexy about her loose scrubs, her golden hair tucked into a paper hat, or the flapping paper gown concealing any curves. But he knew what that beautiful body of hers looked like underneath all that, and his heart stepped up its pace as he remembered.
He pressed his fingers to his own pulse and shook his head at himself, wondering what the heck it was about Hope Sanders that had him feeling like an adolescent with his first crush.
Whatever it was, he had no idea. And, yeah, this strange preoccupation and restlessness clearly showed that he needed to think hard about what his next job might look like. He didn’t belong
in Cambridge. He didn’t belong anywhere.
But until he moved on, changing her mind about the two of them spending time together just became his priority. What better way to celebrate the Christmas season?
CHAPTER FOUR
HOW IN THE world had it not occurred to her what a massive and embarrassing problem this could be? As if she weren’t already a bit nervous anyway, and this situation compounded the jitter of her nerves tenfold.
With her heart fluttering in her throat, Hope practically tiptoed into the offices the IVF physicians at CRMU shared. She peeked through the fingers she held up to the side of her face to see if Dr. Aaron Cartwright would be inopportunely standing there. As though her hand would somehow, magically, make her unrecognizable even if he was.
An invisibility potion was what she really needed. Or a new brain.
The only people in sight were the receptionist behind the front desk and one patient sitting in the small waiting room. She huffed out a relieved breath and, with her legs feeling a little jelly-like, stepped to the glass window. The receptionist slid it open with a smile.
“May I help you?”
Help her with that new brain thing, maybe. “I’m Hope Sanders.” Would the woman think it odd that she was whispering, or just assume she had laryngitis? She glanced all around behind the receptionist, praying she didn’t see a tall, brown-haired hunk of a doctor back there. “I have a noon appointment with Dr. Devor.”
“Ah. Well.” The woman’s face lost its smile, instead turning somehow frowning and apologetic at the same time, which seemed a little odd to Hope. But then again, Hope’s tentative steps, whispering and furtive looks probably seemed even more odd. “Come with me, please.”