Fallen Princess

by Chantal Fernando

  “What?” I ask him, frowning. I glance down at myself and realize what has him so stunned. “Fuck.”

  I’m still in my work clothes. My police uniform.

  Fuck.

  “What is this?” he asks me, coming closer. “Please tell me this is for some costume party, or that you’re into role-play in the bedroom.”

  “Rhett—”

  “Tell me!” he barks out at me. Sighing, I open my front door and pull him inside, so we can have a more private conversation. I hate the way he’s looking at me right now, like he doesn’t know me, but I’m still the same person. I’m still his best friend, badge or not.

  “I haven’t been here working for an accountant,” I tell him, shifting in my spot, nervous for how he’s going to handle this information. “I’ve been—”

  “Fucking hell, Clo, you’re a cop?” he cuts me off, eyes wider than I’ve ever seen them. He rubs the back of his neck and starts to pace, a mixture of confusion, shock, and anger written all over his expression. He’s fuming. And he has every right to be. “How the fuck did this happen? Who knows about this? Sin is going to . . .” He trails off.

  I gulp at the thought of my dad finding out.

  “No one knows,” I tell him, glancing down at my feet. “Except Cara.”

  “Cara knows about this bullshit?” he fires back, scowling. “I don’t know if I should be happy you saved me from all this drama, or angry that you have been lying to me this entire time and living some secret double life as the enemy.”

  “I’m not the enemy,” I say, lifting my chin up. “And that’s why I haven’t said anything! I just wanted to help people, Rhett. This has nothing to do with the MC.”

  “You want to help people? Volunteer at a fucking soup kitchen or something. Don’t become something you know is such a bad decision that you have to hide it from everyone who loves you, besides your bloody partner in crime.”

  Fuck.

  The man knows exactly what to say to hit his target.

  “I’m not hurting anyone, or affecting anyone else’s life, Rhett. I didn’t tell everyone because I knew it would turn into a huge uproar, when it doesn’t need to be some big deal. I wanted to do this, so I did it. I’ve always wanted to do this, Rhett. And you knew it. You knew it when I did that assignment in high school on it, so don’t act like I pulled this out of nowhere.”

  “Yeah, and even back then I told you it was a stupid idea. I thought you grew out of that bullshit,” he says, crossing his arms over his chest and studying me. “This has broken my heart, Clo, so I can only imagine what it’s going to do to the rest of the MC.”

  Covering my face with my hands, I process this moment. I knew it was coming, I did, but I always let future me worry about it. I was in denial and thought I could get away with it for as long as I saw fit. Realistically, I’m lucky to have gotten away with it for this long. They were always going to find out the truth; it was just a matter of time.

  “Don’t say that to me, I already feel so shitty about it,” I tell him, moving closer to him and looking up into his eyes. “I am well aware no one is going to like this, it’s why I kept it separate from everything and everyone. I didn’t know if I was going to stay, because it wasn’t how I thought it was going to be, so I just kept telling myself that soon it might not even be an issue.”

  “I don’t know how you can even say that it’s not an issue. What are you going to do if they put you on a case that has something to do with one of the Wind Dragons members? What happens then? Whose side are you on?”

  I gesture my arms out wide. “I’m here in the middle of nowhere, in a sleepy-ass town that doesn’t even have any bikers, and most of the work I’ve been doing up until recently has been paperwork. I really don’t think I have anything to worry about in that department.”

  He moves and plops down onto my couch, shaking his head to himself, blond hair falling over his forehead. “Only you would do something like this, you know that? You have balls of fucking steel, Clover. That, or you are just batshit crazy.”

  “You mean a vagina of steel,” I reply, flashing a hopeful smile at him. “I’m sorry I’ve been lying to you, Rhett. And I’m sorry I’ve disappointed you. But I’m still me, and I don’t want you to be upset with me.”

  “Tell me everything, from the beginning,” he says to me after a few seconds. “And I’m going to need a drink for this. What do you have?”

  “Beer and vodka.”

  “Bring both.”

  I get us some alcohol, and I start with the moment I decided I was going to go for what I wanted and not worry about what anyone else thought.

  Was it a selfish notion?

  Maybe.

  But it was also me being true to myself and living my life on my own terms.

  Wind Dragons blood runs through me, and I’m proud of who I am. I just hope everyone can be proud of me, too.

  After I tell him everything, he sits there with a look of horror on his face. Never did I think there’d be a time where Rhett wouldn’t hold me in the highest regard, but his expression lets me know that I’m pushing that boundary right now.

  “I don’t know what to say,” he whispers, blinking slowly.

  “Why don’t we take the heat off me for a second?”

  He nods as if he still cannot believe what I just told him.

  “So what’s going on with you?” I ask him, changing the subject and turning it around on him. “I heard you’ve been dating heaps, does this mean that you’re finally off the market?” That breaks through his fog.

  “Where did you hear that from? I haven’t been dating per se, I went on one fuckin’ date, and no one else knew about it, so how did you? Especially when you haven’t even been home?” he asks me, scowling. “You got eyes on me?”

  So much for getting him to forget about my being a cop. “You never take women on dates,” I point out, looking him in the eye. “How did this one come about?”

  “First, tell me how you knew.”

  “Fine, but you can’t say anything,” I say, deciding to get involved in his and Cara’s odd relationship. Maybe it will make him reveal his true feelings for her or ignite a conversation between them. Cara is going to kill me, but something has to be done.

  “You know I won’t.” He gives me an exasperated look.

  “Cara happened to be walking by and saw you in the restaurant,” I tell him, watching his reaction very closely.

  Blue eyes widen. “You’re kidding me, right? Why didn’t she say anything? Fuck, what are the chances?”

  I arch my brow and leave it at that. He knows why. He’s not stupid. I know they say love is blind, but he can’t be that blind.

  “Fuck,” he grits out, rubbing the back of his neck. “So that’s why she’s been acting weird and not answering my phone calls?”

  Again, I don’t bother with a reply. He knows the answer to that.

  What I do ask is, “So who is she?”

  “Just some girl,” he replies absently, pulling out his phone and staring down at the screen. “Fuck it, I’m going to call her, I can’t believe this shit.”

  “Why are you angry? It’s not her fault she was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Or better yet, considering the two of you are just friends, why does it matter?”

  He throws a pillow at my face.

  “You’re quiet today, is everything okay?” Felix asks me as we walk through a mall, trying to locate a shoplifter. By the time we managed to get here though, it’s more than likely that he took off, but we’re doing a check just to be sure.

  “I’m fine,” I tell him. “Just a little distracted.”

  Understatement of the year. I’ve never felt like the world was against me more than at this point in my life. It’s hard, because I love who I am and would never change it, or where I came from, so I need to accept that if I want to be a cop, I’m going to have to handle the backlash from the MC. Rhett left this morning, after saying it won’t be him who tells the MC, it will be m
e. It buys me some time, but it also makes the whole situation very, very real.

  “He’s not here,” Felix muses, scanning the crowd. “We should take a copy of the surveillance and print out a picture of him.”

  “Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

  After we sort out the surveillance, we head back to our car. I come to a stop though, when I see a young woman passed out on the pavement, a small child next to her, sitting there patiently.

  “Hello,” I say to the little girl. “Are you okay?”

  She nods, but clearly the situation in front of us is not okay.

  “Is this your mom?” I ask her, inspecting the woman and checking her pulse.

  She nods again.

  “Felix, call an ambulance,” I tell him as he comes up behind me. “I think she overdosed.”

  Felix does as I ask while I try to get more information from the girl, who looks to be about four or five years old. She says that her mommy sleeps a lot, and it’s okay because she will wake up, she just has to wait. I feel so bad for her. She doesn’t seem to know that anything is wrong, because she’s probably used to it. What kind of life is that?

  “What is your name?” I ask her, making sure to keep my tone gentle and friendly.

  “Amelia.”

  “That’s a pretty name. I’m Clover.”

  She stays silent, staring up at me with a confused expression, probably wondering why I have such an unusual name, who knows.

  “Have you eaten, Amelia?” I ask, knowing that I can at least get her some food and something to drink.

  “No. I’m hungry,” she tells me, so I take her back inside the mall and buy her a hot dog, some fries, and a milkshake, her pick. By the time I get back outside the ambulance has arrived, and her mother is being lifted inside.

  “What about her?” I ask Felix, glancing down at the curly-haired girl, who is happily enjoying her meal. “We need to find a family member to look after her.”

  “The lady had no ID on her,” Felix explains, frowning. “We might have to take her back to the station with us and call child services, see who her next of kin is.”

  We pile Amelia into our squad car and head back to the station.

  After an hour, we get a call that the woman, Charmaine Dickson, is awake and freaking out, asking where her daughter is. I try not to be judgmental, I really do, but the first thought that enters my mind is, Bit late to start caring now. Child services said they’d come to the hospital to speak to Charmaine and take it from there. We take Amelia to the hospital, where Charmaine is sitting up, looking terrible but lucid.

  “Amelia,” she cries, holding out her arms. She looks so young, maybe twenty-one max, and it’s really hard to see someone in the position she’s in.

  “Mommy!”

  Amelia jumps up onto the bed and gives her a big hug.

  I know my job is done, and we could think we did all we could, but I can’t seem to just walk away and pretend that I didn’t see that little girl suffer from her mother’s issues.

  “She’s a lovely little girl,” I tell Charmaine, who is very wary of me in my uniform. To her, I’m the enemy. I’m not the one who just played board games with her daughter for the last hour, or the one who made sure she was safe and fed. Nope, I’m just the one who might take her drugs away.

  “She is,” she agrees, stroking Amelia’s light curly hair.

  “You’re lucky it was us who found her and not someone else,” I say, ignoring the feel of Felix’s stare. She needs to know that she put her child in danger, not to be enabled. I can’t act like this is okay.

  “I know,” she murmurs, ducking her head. “It won’t happen again. I’ll make sure. It’s just that, well, when the man said . . .” She trails off, looks down at her daughter, and covers her ears with her hands. “When Reaper said that the first sample was free, I couldn’t not try it. I’ve been trying to be good but . . .”

  Reaper?

  I share a look with Felix but prompt her to continue. “But?”

  She looks down at her hands. “It was hard to say no when he was offering it for free.”

  My eyes narrow. “Are you saying a dealer is handing out free drugs for people to try?”

  Free drug samples.

  This could create an epidemic.

  He’s getting them hooked that way, and trying to get them to trust him or maybe even consider him a friend. I don’t know who this guy is, but I already don’t fucking like him.

  Felix starts questioning her about this man, asking for a description, where she met him, and anything else that could help us find him. I’m glad he’s got the same idea as me. The more drugs we can get off the street, the less situations like this we’re going to have to deal with. I know it’s probably fighting a battle we can’t win, but it won’t make it any worse, that’s for sure.

  “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” I ask him as we get back into the car.

  He glances at his watch. “Yeah. Let’s find out who and where this guy is so we can make a plan to get him off the street.”

  I grin evilly.

  We do a fist bump and take off on the lead that Charmaine gave us.

  Whoever this guy is, he caught the attention of the wrong woman.

  My shoes slam down on the asphalt with each step while I run as fast as I can, not wanting to let this man get away. Felix took the other possible route he could have taken, but looks like I’m finally getting the action I wanted because he ran in my direction. I all but tackle him as we reach the grass on someone’s front lawn, placing his hands behind his back and pinning him down as he struggles. “You are under arrest,” I tell the man just as Felix finds us, reading him his rights, handcuffing his hands behind his back. I make sure to follow the protocol on everything, knowing Felix is watching me and making sure I know what I’m doing. He’s letting me take the lead with this, and I appreciate it. I also appreciate him at my back, ready to jump in and help me if I need it. It makes me feel safe and confident at the same time. When a man we spoke to gave us the name and description of a dealer, we realized it wasn’t the one we were originally looking for, but when we found him with drugs on him, of course we are going to make this arrest. Even though the man Charmaine described is still on the loose, at least we took one other drug dealer off the streets. For now anyway. We do our part, but the next bit will be up to the court system. We place him in the back of the car and drive back to the station. It’s the first time I’ve been in the car with a criminal in the back, and it’s kind of weird.

  “You did well,” Felix tells me under his breath, so only I can hear, and nods his head in approval.

  It means more to me than I’ll ever admit.

  Fuck you, Jenks and Jones.

  I’m going to be the best cop this town has ever seen.

  We head out for a few drinks after our shift and, because a few of the other cops come with us, it doesn’t feel too intimate. People give us a wide berth, even though we aren’t in uniform it’s almost like they can sense who we are.

  “You drinking that or just holding it?” Paul, one of the guys, asks me, grinning. “You not much of a drinker?”

  “I can be,” I admit, bringing the glass to my lips and having a taste. “I’m savoring it, don’t try to peer pressure me, Paul.”

  They all laugh and order another round. I’ve never been invited to anything like this before with the other cops, and it’s kind of weird to be hanging out with them away from the station, and without our uniforms and badges. It feels like normal people just having a drink, and it’s nice.

  When one by one everyone decides to leave early though, it’s just me and Felix and alcohol, and I realize this might not have been the best idea.

  “You smell nice,” Felix says to me. He’s somehow crept much closer to me from when we first arrived here, so our arms are now touching. Surprisingly, it doesn’t feel uncomfortable having him in my space.

  “You only realized that just now?” I tease, flashing him a cheeky
grin to let him know I’m just messing with him.

  “No, I noticed it from the first time you bumped into me,” he admits, showing off his twin dimples as he smiles back, eyes locked on to mine.

  “Oh,” I whisper. “You mean when you bumped into me, right? When you were really rude and acted like you hated me?”

  He chuckles, placing his beer down on the bar and giving me all of his attention. “I’d lost the only partner I’d ever known, because he broke his damn leg off duty, and I’d just been told he’s getting a transfer, and I was told I basically had to babysit some woman who showed promise but had a bit of an attitude problem. The second Jones told me your name, I knew who you were. Everyone knows who you are at the station.”

  “How is that? All the amazing paper pushing I’ve been doing for everyone?”

  “You have something about you that just draws people in. It’s everything. The way you carry yourself, your confidence,” he states simply, scanning my eyes.

  “I’ve been told I can be kind of intimidating,” I admit, not knowing what else to say. “But don’t worry, I don’t bite. Much.”

  “Why would anyone be intimidated by you?” he asks, gently nudging me with his shoulder. “Other than your attitude and firearm skills. That’s quite the deadly combination, by the way.”

  “You ain’t seen nothing yet,” I reply, only for him to flash those dimples at me again. They’re a weapon, I tell you, because all I want to do is make them reappear, over and over.

  “I believe it. I’m looking forward to seeing how you surprise me next.” He pauses to take a drink of his beer and looks around. “I feel like we should make this a weekly event.”

  “Us getting drunk at a bar and pretending we live normal lives?” I ask, lifting my glass to my lips and taking a sip, eyes locked with his.

  “No,” he replies. “Just us. Spending time together alone.”

  I put the glass back down and tuck my hair behind my ear. “What exactly are you asking me, Banks?”

  More dimples and amusement in those blue eyes. I tilt my head and wait for his response.

  Instead of saying anything with words, he cups my cheek with his rough fingers, leans forward, and kisses me, catching me off guard. Instantly melting into him, I close my mind off and just enjoy the moment, his soft, full lips against mine, his taste, and the feelings he brings out of me. I feel fuzzy, and I know it’s not the alcohol. I’ve been attracted to him, before I ever spoke to him; it feels like this has been a long time coming.