“Get some rest, Tasia,” she says. “Fiona is right.”
“You’re the only one besides me who calls her Fiona,” I comment. “Does that mean you met her outside of the EEA, outside of hunting?”
Divya looks as tired as the rest of us. She didn’t bother putting on any makeup today, even though there’s a conspicuous bruise on her face, and she isn’t wearing any of the bright Indian clothes I often see her in. Cleaning doesn’t warrant dressing up, but she never wears anything drab and gray like she is right now.
She smiles and says, “No, we met in the EEA when I was transferred to this branch from another branch located in India.”
I glance over at Fiona. She’s brushing at Donovan’s feet with her broom, shooing him away. Looks like she won their argument. She catches the top of her broom, rests her hands on top of it, and then leans over to place her chin on top of them.
“Who’s the pretty boy?” she asks.
“What are you talking about?” Divya says, folding her arms. “All of these angels are exceptionally beautiful. Why are you suddenly taking interest in one?”
Fiona glances at Divya, but doesn’t move from her awkward stance, leaning against her broom. “I mean, I don’t recognize him.” Abruptly, she rights herself and mutters, “He’s coming right for us.”
Both Divya and Fiona place themselves subtly at either side of me. As warm as the angels appear to be, they’re both still wary of them.
I look down the hall to see what angel Fiona was talking about. Like all of the other angels, he’s beautiful, elegant. He’s not the tallest angel I’ve seen, but it doesn’t make him any less stunning. He has short rust colored hair and skin as pale as newly fallen snow. His eyes glow bright like the other angels’, but I can’t figure out what color they are. They’re shifting in the light, or with each step he takes. I’m not sure. As strange as his eyes are, perhaps the strangest thing about him is the fact that he isn’t wearing silver armor like every other angel here. He’s wearing flowing white robes that almost look like they’re tinted gray when compared to his skin.
I figure he just plans on passing through, but his eyes lock onto mine. The white and black heart-shaped diamonds I have attached to my silver chain necklace grow warm under my shirt. At least, I think they do, or maybe I’m feeling the heat from my heart rate speeding up. I don’t like this. I’ve been having enough problems with supernatural beings messing with my emotions, and now this angel is doing it too.
I pray he’ll walk past me, but he plants himself right in front of me. Fiona and Divya are right by me; however, it doesn’t make me feel any better.
“Tasia, it’s good to see you,” he says. His voice is melodic and entrancing like all other angel voices. He smiles softly, like he’s greeting an old friend.
“What do you want?” Fiona asks. She doesn’t sound exactly hostile, but there’s an edge to her voice. I guess she isn’t dealing with these angels as well as I thought she was.
“Only to talk.” The angel’s eyes flicker over to Fiona. His gaze doesn’t even linger, but it’s enough to make my godmother fall silent.
He continues, “I suppose an introduction is in order. My name is Cassius.”
“Are you the angel in charge?” I ask. There’s something about him that makes me think that has to be the case. It’s something about his presence.
“You could say that,” he replies. “I wanted to come here personally to inform you that Rynne is safe. He was hurt badly, but he will recover and is in the process of doing that right now. He’ll come back here as soon as he is at full health.”
My hands act on their own, finding the slight bulge of my diamonds underneath my shirt. I have the urge to fish them out, so I can feel them against the skin of my hands, but I refrain from doing that. I force my hands back to my sides. I don’t want to look anxious, but it’s something I’ve always had a hard time hiding.
“Thank you for letting us know,” Divya says. “We’ve been worried about him.” She finds my hand and gives a little squeeze. I squeeze back.
Cassius nods. “I imagine you have a lot of questions.”
“Why did Rynne lie to me?” I bow my head, trying to get my emotions under control. “Why did he kiss me if he’s an angel? Is that even allowed? I feel like I don’t understand anything.”
“He lied for the greater good. Angels and demons aren’t meant to be a part of your world, Tasia.”
“But you are. You’re here, aren’t you?”
“We’re here to bring balance back. You’ve seen for yourself what demons can do, and God will tolerate their evil here no longer.”
“Why now? Why did you wait so long?”
“The time wasn’t right. Everything happens in God’s own time.”
“But my parents… So many people. You could have saved them.” Tears build in my eyes and threaten to fall. I know I said I’d be brave, but I don’t know what to do. There’s nothing to be brave about because I don’t know what action I should take.
“You are the key,” the angel says.
I jerk my head back up to look at him. I’m still holding on to Divya’s hand, but now I’m squeezing it even harder. “You’re joking,” I say.
“I’m not. God has chosen you.”
“M-me? But I—I’m not even… I’m just me! I’m nobody special.”
Now all the hunters that were working in this area are staring at me and this angel. Everyone’s listening to this conversation. Am I hallucinating right now? This can’t be real.
Fiona finds her voice again. There’s a fire burning in her eyes as she says, “Seriously, if this is some kind of jo—”
“It’s not a joke,” the angel interrupts. “Tasia is connected to a very powerful demon.”
“Arsen?” I stammer.
“Yes, Arsen. You’ve been pushing and pulling at one another.”
“Demons can make people feel things they shouldn’t,” I say. Then I feel suddenly bold and add, “Apparently angels can make us feel things, too.”
“The foundation of those feelings are very different. Demons promote feelings of lust, avarice, pride, wrath, and so forth. Angels promote feelings of love, charity, humility, happiness, everything opposite of a demon. Surely you feel the difference.”
I feel ashamed. Rynne has always been so good. Everything about him is good, and I always wanted to be like him. How could I ever think badly of him? He lied to me, but he’s never done anything to hurt me. He’s always looked out for me. But at the same time, I haven’t only felt darkness from Arsen.
“Arsen is an exception for you, Tasia,” the angel says, like he can read my mind. “This connection you have to him isn’t something he made. God made it.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Your side of this connection is stronger. You need only learn how to control it, and Arsen will be yours to command.”
I want to tell him that what he’s saying is impossible, but how can I after what I’ve been through these last few months? I know there’s a connection between me and Arsen. These angels and every other demon we’ve come across have never influenced me as intensely as he has. They’ve never come close. If this angel says my side of this connection is stronger, how can I prove he’s wrong? I’ve seen Arsen crumple right in front of me. I watched him kill his own kind to save me. I thought he was trying to mess with my head even more, but now I don’t know.
“What is she supposed to do with a demon under her control?” Fiona scoffs.
“Eliminate and strike fear into all other demons. She’ll use him to take back your world,” the angel replies easily.
“Seems you angels could take care of that yourselves,” Donovan joins.
“I’ve sent you ten angels, but they are all I can spare. Their numbers aren’t enough to solve your world’s demon problem, but they will assist you, teach you, and get you ready. Arsen has been causing trouble for longer than you know. Even for us. You don’t know the significance of Tasia’s con
nection to him.”
Divya wraps an arm around me, holding me close to her. I appreciate the gesture, but I don’t think anything is going to make me feel okay right now.
“This is a lot to take in,” I say.
“I know it is,” the angel says gently.
I gulp. “Is this connection the same reason why… I sometimes feel like I don’t hate Arsen?” I glance at everyone around me, all of them paying close attention. “And that I might even,” I pull my crystals out from under my shirt and hold them in my hand as I add with a whisper, “like him?”
Instead of answering my question, the angel says, “Let me see your diamonds.”
Confused, I reveal the heart shaped crystals sitting in my palm, but since they’re still attached to my silver chain necklace, I can’t hold them out too far away from my chest. He reaches out his hand for mine. For some reason, I anticipate his touch being cold. Maybe it’s because his skin looks like snow, but as soon as his skin brushes against mine, I feel warmth. He places his palm over mine, eclipsing my crystals.
“Both of these crystals come from my world, a world that exists parallel to yours. I had these diamonds sent to you to protect you,” he says. “Have they served you well?”
“I don’t go anywhere without them.” I look at his hand on top of mine. “So you’re the one I have to thank for the black diamond Jazmin gave me? You saved me.”
“Arsen has some control over your connection as well,” the angel says as he catches my eye.
It’s official. I have no idea what color his eyes are. I’ve never seen anything like them, and I can’t stop staring.
“But I assure you, he is long past deserving any compassion from you,” he concludes.
“He killed my parents,” I say bitterly.
“Yes, and many more. No life is sacred to him.”
“I even saw him kill his own kind.”
“Demons aren’t above such acts.”
“He saved me by doing it.”
“He was compelled to. He’s chained to you.”
The angel’s hand is still on top of mine, covering my crystals. I hadn’t realized how close he is to me. Our noses are almost touching. I can’t decide if this proximity makes me uncomfortable or not before he moves away, letting his hand slide off mine as he does.
“I still have a lot of questions,” I say, desperate for him not to leave.
“We will speak again soon,” he tells me with a smile. “I promise.”
I don’t want to wait anymore. I want answers now, but I’m not stupid enough to think I can make an angel stay and give me answers if he doesn’t want to. So I watch him leave. I don’t take my eyes off of him until he disappears around a corner. Once he’s out of sight, everyone around me starts whispering.
“What does he mean she’s been chosen by God?”
“She’s not even a high ranked hunter.”
“It does seem like a long shot.”
“Everyone shut up!” Fiona roars. “Get back to work. I don’t want to hear another peep out of any of you.”
“Are you okay, Tasia?” Divya asks as she wraps her arms around me, hugging me tightly.
“I can’t breathe,” I tell her.
She lets go of me, but she has this concerned look on her face.
“I’m fine,” I say.
“If you need to talk…”
“I’ll let you know.”
Divya nods her head and then goes back to cleaning along with everyone else. I take a moment to look at my crystals again. I should be falling to pieces right now. I normally would be, after hearing something like that. But I feel surprisingly okay. My diamonds are extra warm from that angel’s… Cassius’s hand on top of mine, and it’s somehow reassuring.
I HAVEN’T LEFT THE hotel. I’m lying on the bed and staring out the window, witnessing as night once again falls across the land. I know what I have to do, but I’m not ready to do it just yet. This is my last chance to find some clarity before I go. There is an undeniable bond, of some sort, tying me and Tasia together. Though I’ve never heard of a bond existing between souls that wasn’t created between those two souls, that’s what I’m facing right now. The first time I came face to face with Tasia was a few months ago now, last year in October. Since then, she’s somehow managed to rip out my sanity. Well, almost. I suppose I still have some sense left.
As strange as this bond is, it isn’t completely unfamiliar to me. The demon I’ve been closest to throughout the majority of my life is Yuki. Since we left Ilenima, we’ve rarely spent a day apart. Her companionship has been worth something to me, but I’m not tied to her the way she’s tied to me. I can’t know how strong the pull she feels in this bond is of course, but it seems to be very similar to my bond to Tasia. Yuki has acted irrationally for me more times than I can count. I’ve done the same for Tasia, without any explanation. However, Yuki chose this. She fed this bond and trapped herself, while I never did anything of the sort.
Then there’s Emma.
I close my eyes and let darkness envelope one of my senses. I can see her clearly when I do this, even though it’s been so long since I was able to lay eyes on her. I’ll never forget the ratty clothes she wore, the patchy blond hair hiding its true color in layers of dirt, her tinted hazel blue eyes, her skinny frame and the subtle curves I adored. I remember it all. She was a beauty—not that anyone noticed. How could they? Her beauty was lost behind layers of grime and poor treatment. But I saw it. Without meaning to, I fell for her. Hard.
My bond with her was intrinsic. We fell into place like pieces to the same puzzle, and our bond grew more with time. Our bond even grew while we were apart. Because, even when we were apart, we never stopped thinking about each other. The last day I saw Emma was the day we gave everything to the other. In a sense, we sold our souls to each other. Even now, with Emma gone, I belong to her, and I always will. Neither of us felt complete without the other, and so it was only natural we gave ourselves away like that in the end. Not that it mattered. All Emma left me is another void that can’t be filled.
But I accept that. I accept all of that. I’ve lived with it, and I’ve hunted angels as my wrath demanded. An empty life, but one filled with purpose, is still a life worth living.
Then Tasia came along.
Tasia has the same kind of power over me that my sweet Emma had. My beast is infatuated with that girl just as it was with Emma. No, I’m wrong. It’s not simple infatuation, because that was not what I felt for Emma. I loved Emma. I love her still. And yet my beast claims those same feelings with Tasia? It’s disgusting.
Up until my last encounter with Tasia, I thought this bond was all one-sided. She can command me with a look or a word, and my beast is constantly pining for her. Whatever the angels have done to her, whatever bond they created, it’s guaranteed to bring me down. At least, that’s what I thought—until the last time I interacted with Tasia. She voiced her suffering, suffering she said I was causing her. That means this bond is more like the bond I shared with Emma than I could have ever dreamed. This bond isn’t as one-sided as I thought, and I’m hoping I can use that to my advantage.
My beast wants to see Tasia again. It’s convinced that she is our answer. It wants her to see us. Really see us. Though my logician doesn’t know what good showing our make, our very soul, to that girl would do, it’s what my beast wants. It’s not like doing that has the same meaning to a human as it does to a demon or even an angel. My logician has, however, come to the same conclusion as my beast on something at least: we have to go to Tasia.
Running away, ignoring these feelings, and hoping they’ll disappear isn’t working. Without Helena’s assistance, I don’t have any choice but to go to Tasia. I need to get that girl on my side somehow. That’s the only way I’m going to survive this. Of course, there may not be time for that. I have no idea what the angels have in store for me. I only know it involves the girl. Still, it’s my only chance. I’ve spent two days meditating now, trying to fig
ure out this bond on my own, but it’s been another useless attempt. I just have to see her.
Soon. My life is either going to end, or I’m going to find a way to survive this bond. Either way, I’ll be with her. My life is in her hands now. I need only decide when to face her.
I SLEPT FOR A FULL 24 hours after the oracle came to visit me last. Then I took it easy the rest of the day yesterday—when I finally woke up. The oracle came to check up on me again, too. He decided he’d let me go back to Tasia the next day. I felt relieved when he said that yesterday, but now that I’m standing outside of the PA Branch of the EEA and can see the remnants of damage done to it by that demon attack, I’m having second thoughts.
I want to see Tasia, but I’m not so sure she wants to see me.
Several pairs of eyes have been on me since I’ve entered the EEA’s private property. Angel or human, it doesn’t matter. No one confronts me. They’re all too busy with repairs. When I enter the base, where the majority of hunters are, I get the feeling all of the hunters who’ve ever had anything to do with me are feeling a bit hostile or hurt. I’ve been working side by side with them for a few months, and they had no idea about me. I can’t say I blame them for the judgmental looks they give me as I pass by, but it doesn’t lessen the sting. Their wounds and the fact I know many of their comrades died makes the sting all the worse.
I find myself wandering, not really heading toward any real destination. I’m taking stock of everything that happened. The base is inhabitable at least, and I see a lot of new or added on structures. The angels and hunters have been working fast, throwing out anything unusable and salvaging everything else. I wonder if they have their network hooked up to the rest of the EEA again or if that will take longer. Most of the computers and screens that had been blown out in the fight have been replaced already. All in all, the base honestly looks very good.
It’s already evening by the time I finally find Tasia. I know the subtleties in her features even with the large shirt she’s wearing and her facing away from me. Her brown hair is pulled up into a ponytail to keep it out of the way as she plasters the wall. I can clearly see the skin on the back of her neck. She has a small cut there. If I were near her, I’d reach out and touch that exact spot. I shake my head at the thought of touching her at all. I don’t even know if she’d want me to.
The Pull of Destiny (Undying Love, Book 2) Page 3
