Once I’m at Fiona’s door, I hold up my hand, about to knock, when I hear talking inside. I consider just turning around and coming back later, but I need her now. So I knock on the door.
The door opens, but the person on the other end isn’t Fiona. It’s Divya. Instead of her work clothes, she’s only wearing a very large sweater-like shirt. As far as I can tell, she doesn’t have any shorts on underneath even though the shirt only covers part of her thighs. I don’t know how she can possibly be warm enough in it. She either makes up for it with a ton of blankets or she doesn’t fear the cold at all. We have the heating system in the base working, but still.
“Hey, Tasia. Need something?” she asks with a warm smile.
“Is Fiona in?” I ask.
Divya opens the door wider and gestures for me to go inside. I see Fiona sitting on the bed stewing over a tablet, tapping the screen with a stylus. She finishes doing whatever she’s doing, and then she looks up at me.
“It’s late,” she says. “Aren’t you tired?”
“Maybe more tired than I’ve ever been in my life,” I reply.
“Go to bed then. I’m sure we can talk in the morning. I’ll have you assigned to work with me.”
I figure she’s saying that because she has work to do.
“It can’t wait,” I say as I decide to be selfish and put myself above everybody else. “Please.”
Fiona runs a hand through her heavily textured inch long hair. She looks at me not with exasperation, but with the stress of someone in charge of so many lives she must feel overwhelmed.
“Let me finish up this order at least,” she says.
“Okay,” I say as I sit on the bed beside her.
I turn my gaze to Divya. She shut the door behind us and now she’s walking over to the bed. I think she might sit by me, because that’s where there’s room, but she chooses to sit by Fiona at the head of the bed instead. On top of a pillow. She literally has to squeeze in to get her hips to fit in between Fiona and the head of the bed.
Unlike Divya, Fiona’s still wearing the clothes she worked in today. I can tell because of all the dust, paint, and spots of whatever else she got into today. Divya subtly slides her hand onto Fiona’s thigh. Then she starts making little circles on the fabric of Fiona’s pants.
“I can’t think when you’re doing that,” Fiona says snappily.
If I didn’t know her, I would think she’s irritated. But I do know her, and she’s far from it. There’s a sort of playfulness in her words. I’m sure of it.
Fiona puts down her tablet, placing it on the nightstand. She puts her hand on top of Divya’s, stopping her from making circles, but also trapping her hand against Fiona’s thigh.
“So what’s up, kiddo?” my godmother asks as she turns her attention onto me.
I don’t say anything. I look between her and Divya.
“Look, I probably should’ve told you this sooner, but Divya’s kind of…” Fiona’s voice trails off.
“Your girlfriend?” I ask.
“Something like that.” Fiona offers a small smile, acting uncharacteristically nervous.
“I’m not like your girlfriend, I am your girlfriend!” Divya exclaims.
“How long?” I ask.
Fiona replies, “A couple years now.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“Well, I guess I never felt the time was right. And it’s not really something your parents would have approved of… Besides, before you joined the EEA, I kind of thought you and Divya would never meet.” Fiona explains.
“Why not?” I ask. “If you love each other, shouldn’t you meet the other one’s family? My parents loved you, Fiona. And since when do you care about approval?”
Fiona opens her mouth and closes it again. Her hand tightens on top of Divya’s as she says, “You’re right, Tasia. I’m not very good with this kind of stuff.”
I know that. I knew that even before the EEA and the whole revelation of monsters being real. I knew Fiona’s boyfriend died and that she had trouble building relationships. She has trouble with attachment. My parents told me that when I was little. I’ll never tell her, but when I was young, I used to find her extremely intense. She often scared me. But once my parents explained a little bit more about her and where she comes from, her abrasive attitude never bothered me again.
“I’m happy for you,” I say, because there’s nothing else to say. “Both of you.”
My parents were strict in their beliefs, but also lenient. Since they didn’t believe a single religion, it all came down to intent and what decisions bring someone closer to light or to darkness. I think Fiona is wrong about my parents in this case. I think they would have accepted Divya, too. They would have liked her. Fiona and Divya are constantly working to protect our world. They’re some of the best people I know. Their intentions are good intentions. Their actions save lives.
Fiona slugs my arm playfully. “Thanks. Now what did you want to talk to me about?” she asks, eager to move onto another topic.
“Rynne’s back,” I say.
“We know,” Divya replies. “Did he go to see you? He only walked by us, without saying a word.”
“He did,” I say.
“And?” Fiona urges. “He’s an angel. We all knew that by now, right? I mean you told us how he shifted and how an angel took him away. So he must be. It’s just crazy to think we had an angel with us this whole time,” Fiona remarks. “I guess it explains why he was so knowledgeable about everything though.”
“What do you think of them?” I ask, playing with my fingernails. “What do you think of the angels?”
“I think they’re powerful,” my godmother says.
“I agree,” Divya replies.
“And the stuff about me being some kind of chosen one? I’m supposed to control Arsen. The oracle said that I’m supposed to save the world. I can’t do that. You agree with me, don’t you?”
“I don’t know what to believe,” Fiona says. “Those angels are super strong. They got rid of all of those monsters in our base with hardly any effort at all. Maybe it isn’t so crazy to believe them when they say you’ve been chosen.”
“But I’m only human. That angel that talked to us, to me, the one who said I’m chosen, Rynne said he’s the oracle. Apparently he’s a really big deal.” I take in a sharp breath. “If I said no, do you think they’d make me do it?”
“I don’t think they’re going to have to.” Fiona’s gaze lingers on me. She searches my eyes for an answer, or maybe for resolve. “What I can tell you is that I don’t wish this on you. If what that angel says is true, and if Arsen is the reason you’ve been suffering so much, I don’t wish this on you one bit. I would trade places with you if I could. What I know is that none of this is going to be easy. It never is.”
I say, “But if the angels have all of this power and all of this knowledge, it doesn’t make any sense to refuse them, does it? If I can better the world even just a little bit, shouldn’t I do it? I don’t want anybody else to have to go to through what I did. I don’t anybody else to lose their parents to demons.”
“The world’s messed up enough as it is with all the people in it,” Fiona agrees. “Being demon free would let us focus on humanity itself. I wouldn’t complain.”
“Exactly. I’m already in too deep,” I say. “Even if I tried to leave, I’d never forget this life. I’d never forget what happened to my parents. I don’t think I’d ever be able to live with myself either, if I knew I walked away when there was something I could do. Not that I understand what I can do. Arsen is… something else. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to control him, but maybe I should try. What else would I do? Go back to school? Pretend like none of this ever happened? I can’t do that.”
“Sounds like you already have your answer.” Fiona puts her hand on my shoulder and gives me a reassuring gaze. “Divya and I are behind you every step of the way. In fact, I think the whole EEA will be behind you soon enough
.”
The sun has been down for hours already, and I’m sure it’s past midnight, but I can’t sleep. I’ve tried, but there are too many things on my mind. Talking to Fiona helped me make a decision, so why am I still feeling so anxious? Maybe if I talk to Valor, the angel who seems to be in charge here, and tell her what I’ve decided, I’d feel better. But it’s so late. Is she awake? Do natural angels sleep?
I hop out of bed because I’m not sleeping anyway. Like I expected, the hall outside my room is dark until I move, triggering some of the new motion sensor lights we installed. It’s empty—not that I was expecting to see anyone else awake.
I take my time as I make my way to the kitchen for a glass of water, letting my hand glide across the walls. Repairing the base has gone amazingly fast with the help of angels. Their strength, speed, everything about them is incredible. It’s almost like we were never attacked by demons at all. Our database and communications with the other branches of the EEA should be fully restored sometime tomorrow, and then everyone here will be back to doing what they’ve always done—assuming that’s what the angels want. Maybe the angels will want to make some major changes around here instead. They said we’re going to put a stop to the demons in our world once and for all.
I expect the lights in the kitchen to be off, but a soft glow shines from the doorway. Someone else must have gotten the same idea I did, or maybe someone’s snitching a midnight snack. I used to do that all the time when I was a kid. I smile at the memory of my parents gently chastising me. I’ve always had nights where I couldn’t sleep, and sometimes food was a comfort, or a way to get myself to think about something else other than all the things bothering me.
Before entering the kitchen, I peek around the open door to see who’s there. I expect to see another hunter, but it’s an angel, the beautiful female angel who took charge of the place. Valor. I wonder if this is a coincidence or if she knew I wanted to see her. It’s perfect. It’s just the two of us here, so I won’t be putting on another show for the rest of the hunters by talking to her. She must know all about what the oracle said to me. Rynne did.
I hesitate at the doorway. Yeah, it’s just the two of us right now, but is that actually reassuring? She has that same soothing presence Rynne does. A part of me wants to like her, but another part of me doubts everything. She’s tall, perfect as a sculpture, and powerful in her silver armor. I wonder if she ever takes it off. I wonder if she sleeps. I’ve never seen these angels eat or drink anything either, but I’ve seen Rynne do those things. Is that part of what makes him mortal and them immortal?
The angel takes a glass and fills it up with cold water from the fridge. She puts the glass to her lips, but she doesn’t tilt it back or take a sip. She just holds it there, like she’s only interested in feeling the sensation of the cool water submerging a small part of her upper lip. I’ve only seen two types of expressions from these angels. They either look neutral, peaceful in their beauty, or they have a warm and inviting smile. Her expression isn’t either of those. It’s a small movement, an expression I wouldn’t have caught if I wasn’t staring, but just for a moment, I think I see a grimace.
She sets the glass of water down on the counter without taking a drink. Then she looks over her shoulder—at me. She asks, “Are you going to come in or stand there all night, Tasia?”
“S-sorry,” I sputter and walk forward.
I can’t look at her now. I feel stupid and embarrassed. Of course she knew I was there. Why wouldn’t she know? She’s an angel! And she knows my name, so obviously that angel, Cassius, the oracle, has told every angel about this craziness. That shouldn’t surprise me either, but does that mean every angel knows my name? My head is swimming.
I reach for a glass of my own and fill it up with water, hoping it’ll help calm my nerves as well as soothe my parched mouth. I drink the cool liquid, but I feel sweat bead on my forehead anyway. I set the glass down on the counter before I drop it because of my shaking. That’s when I dare to look at the angel again.
She regards me with that neutral warm expression I’ve come to expect from angels. Her wavy strawberry blond hair frames her face perfectly. Her eyes are vivid in the daylight, but in the dark they’re even brighter, a deep blue that seems to move like ocean waves. I tear my eyes away from hers and inspect her silver uniform instead.
“Do you ever take off your armor?” I ask and immediately regret it. Why am I trying to make small talk with an angel?
She smiles. “Yes, but not when I’m on duty.”
“What about sleep?” I ask, babbling even more.
“We don’t require sleep.” She glances at her full glass of water sitting on the counter. “Neither do we require food or drink.”
“What are you doing with that water then?”
I bite my lower lip and inwardly berate myself. I should keep my mouth shut. These angels are creatures far above me and my understanding. I don’t…
“No need to fear, Tasia. You may ask me any question you so desire. It does not bother me in the slightest. I quite enjoy it,” the angel informs.
I stop biting my lip and bring my hands to the diamonds hiding underneath my shirt. It spreads a relieving warmth to my chest. I should have done that earlier. The crystals aren’t perfect, but they help. The black diamond I’ve had for years has especially helped my anxiety by keeping ghosts away. It protects me. They both do, and they came from angels.
“In answer to your question,” the angel continues speaking as she swirls the water in the glass with a circular motion of her wrist, “I was searching for some relief.”
“Relief?” I ask.
“Yes, relief of a slight discomfort.”
“Maybe taking off your armor would be a better relief. It looks heavy and restrictive.”
“Perhaps you’re right.” She smiles. “But unfortunately, I’m still on duty.”
“I actually wanted to talk to you, Valor,” I say to test using her name as I stare at my feet.
“Oh?”
“Cassius, er, the oracle talked to me about being chosen… He said he’d be back to talk to me, but he didn’t come back today. I know I was being kinda—okay, really—disrespectful to him when he was here, and I’m sorry. He didn’t even introduce himself as the oracle, and I was angry about everything. I just…” I squeeze my eyes shut and pray to God I’ll stop babbling soon. “I mean, I’m not trying to make excuses. I thought about what he said, and if there’s really a way I can help people who have been through the same things I have, and all the people who haven’t but could, I want to.”
“I see. I will let Cassius know,” she coos.
“You use his name,” I note. “Rynne would only call him the oracle or use that title along with his name.”
“Yes. It is out of respect.”
“But you don’t…?” I look up to see a grin on Valor’s face.
“Cassius and I have bypassed titles. I have a title as well, though you needn’t worry about using it.”
“Confidant,” I remark. “I heard an angel refer to you as Confidant Valor before.”
“Correct. But as I said, you needn’t worry about it. We do not expect you to follow our rules, Tasia. You are a human after all. You may refer to Cassius as the oracle if you please, or you may simply call him by his name. He introduced himself as such and obviously doesn’t mind. Likewise, please call me Valor.”
“I am curious about it, though. I mean, about angels… about everything.” I admit.
“I will let Cassius put your curiosity to rest. He’ll do a better job of explaining than I would. I’ll let him know of your willingness, and he will come for you himself or send another angel to escort you to our home.”
“Your home? But don’t you live in another world?”
“We do.”
“But I can go there?”
“Yes, if escorted by an immortal or one with ties to both worlds. Also, a bit of a warning, the technology you are used to here will not operate in th
e immortal world.”
“Like… you don’t have electricity?” I ask.
She smiles. “We do, but we use it differently. We have the ability to rally the elements behind us.”
“You mean magic? Like how I saw Arsen and that other demon fighting with fire and water that night?”
“Exactly.”
Arsen. My thoughts linger on him and how ferociously he fought that demon, and how he mercilessly killed her. He was going to kill Rynne too, but he stopped when I begged him to. Is that the kind of power Cassius was talking about? I absentmindedly place my fingers on my lips, remembering the kiss Arsen gave me after fussing over my dislocated elbow. His lips were so soft, so perfect against mine. The care he took for my injured arm, the care in that kiss… I don’t understand it.
“How is your arm doing?” Valor asks.
“Great,” I reply quickly. “It doesn’t hurt at all. How did you do that?”
“Sometimes God sees fit to heal. I had compassion for you and wished you well. That is all.”
I replay that night over again in my head and ask, “Valor, the way you attacked Arsen like that, were you going to kill him?”
“No. I wasn’t going to kill him.”
“It sure looked like you were.”
“I was forcing him to leave. Nothing less than what I did would have done the trick.”
“It looked painful.”
“Are you feeling sorry for him?”
I shake my head furiously. “No. I hate him.”
“Tasia, I won’t pretend I understand what you’re going through, but I have faith in you,” she says.
“To control Arsen and make him submit to me? To somehow start a war that will get rid of demons?” I ask.
“To do what you feel is right.” She swirls her glass of water again, never actually taking a drink. “You should try to get some rest before morning arrives.”
The Pull of Destiny (Undying Love, Book 2) Page 5
