HARD KNOX

by Jaxson Kidman

I couldn't see him again.

  I had to avoid it all.

  I grabbed a drink tray and kept busy. Cleaning up, serving drinks, taking orders. I laughed, talked, maybe even flirted a little, mentally calculating how much I was making. Somewhere in the back of my mind I had a grand scheme to save up enough money and just run. Head east and don’t stop until I hit water. Chances were Porter could reach me there but I’d give it my best offer.

  Standing at the bar, I watched as Eddie opened the register. He put in a five and took out a twenty. I raised an eyebrow and watched as he grabbed a bottle of vodka. He poured a shot for someone and then wiped the back of his pants. The twenty dollar bill was now magically gone.

  Holy shit. Porter was right.

  I looked down the bar for Danny, wanting to blow the whistle on this right now. Maybe if I did so I could split right then. Hell, maybe it would make Porter happy. Maybe he’d then lay off me a little.

  I saw Danny at the corner of the bar.

  A second later he was gone.

  I did a double take but then saw people at the bar push away.

  I pushed my way through and couldn’t believe my eyes.

  There was Knox… holding Danny on the ground by his throat.

  I covered my mouth in shock as Knox dropped his knee to Danny’s chest.

  “You want to do this here?” Knox asked. “Or outside like men?”

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Danny yelled. “Not in front of the people.”

  “Then get up and get outside,” Knox said.

  He let Danny go and helped him up.

  That’s when we saw each other again.

  Knox didn’t seem to be in the mood to stand there and eye flirt with me. He grabbed Danny by the front of the shirt and walked toward me.

  I jumped out of the way and Knox passed by, turning his head toward me. “Hey, darlin’. Why don’t you meet me outside, too?”

  Just like that, all those feelings rushed back. I felt like I could pass out. It took me a few seconds to regain my thoughts and footing. By then the door was opened and shut.

  I saw the look on Eddie’s face and wondered if he wasn’t part of what Knox was up to also. I knew the MC had been taking hit after hit and they were desperate to stay afloat. At this point, they were more or less just a small group of guys that met up to ride motorcycles. But knowing Knox and his strength and mindset, he could easily turn the club back into a powerful and dangerous force, if it wasn’t that already.

  My mind kept racing as I opened the door and went outside.

  Knox hadn’t let up on Danny yet. He swung Danny around and slammed his large body against the side of the building. Danny let out a loud groan and looked ready to mess himself. Obviously whatever protection Porter had been offering was good… up until now when Danny had to face a wild outlaw like Knoxville.

  “You owe me money,” Knox said. “The band played and now you pay up. You agreed.”

  “I didn’t say shit,” Danny said. He looked at me. “Make the call, Ana. Right now.”

  “Keep her out of this,” Knox said. “Let me explain something to you. My boys in that band have families. They have people waiting on the money. Me? I don’t have anyone. You want to stiff me, fine. Stiff me. But not my boys. So I’m going to give you a chance. I never do this. I’m only doing this because Ana is watching. Ready for this, Danny boy?”

  Knox laughed and tightened his grip on Danny’s shirt, pushing him harder against the building. Danny’s face was apple red and looked ready to explode.

  “What?” Danny asked.

  “I’m going to send my boys on the road. Then I’m going to hang out back, on my ride, smoke a few. I’m going to sip a cold mug of beer. By the time I’m done with that beer you’re going to give me the money for the show tonight. If you don’t, I’m going to come back in and I’m going to take the empty beer mug and I’m going to shove it up your ass.”

  Knox broke away from Danny.

  There was silence for a few seconds and then Danny swung a fist at Knox. He clipped Knox in the jaw and I gasped. Before any of us could take a breath, Knox unloaded on Danny. It was like watching some boxer going to town on his opponent. Left, right, left, right, left, left, right. Each hit made Danny groan in pain. Punching from Danny’s gut up to his face, where Knox only hit him there once, right in the eye.

  I knew Danny would have a black eye for days after that.

  “Knox!” I finally yelled.

  He stopped. Holy shit, he actually stopped.

  Knox looked at me, his eyes wild as ever. They seemed to calm when he saw me though. Slowly, he reached for his smokes and lit one up. Then he walked away without a word.

  I felt strangely disappointed. Last time we had met up, it ended when I finished with his hands down my pants. Now he was just walking away, cool and bad as I could ever remember him.

  Danny then looked at me, shaking furiously. He took a step and winced in pain. He reached for the building to brace himself.

  “I saw Eddie take money,” I said. “He took a twenty.”

  “What?”

  “He took a twenty and poured a drink. Then he pretended to wipe his hand and slipped the money into his pocket. That’s how he’s ripping you off. I saw it happen.”

  “Great,” Danny said. He stutter stepped again. He reached for the door and then stopped. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Yeah,” I said.

  “That guy, Knox, is he serious?”

  “Yeah,” I said.

  “He’ll wait? Then come back in?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Even if I call Porter?”

  “Especially if you call Porter. Trust me, Danny, Knox is someone you don’t want to mess with.”

  “Fuck,” Danny growled. He reached into his back pocket and took out a wad of cash. “Here.”

  “What is this?”

  “Don’t fucking worry about it,” Danny snapped. He grabbed for this left side and groaned in pain. “Go give this to him.”

  “To Knox?”

  “Yeah. I don’t want to see that guy ever again.”

  My lips started to quiver.

  Go see Knox? Alone? With his motorcycle? With the temptation to run off with him?

  I reached for the money and took it. There was quite a bit there. “Danny… if you had the money for him…”

  Danny looked at me. He gave me the fuck off eyes. Being close to Porter and his life, I understood more than I cared to understand. Meaning, Danny took the cash to pay Knox’s band and was going to keep it for himself. Like the bartender ripping off the club, so was Danny. Everyone wanted to rip everyone off.

  I squeezed the cash tight and watched as Danny opened the door.

  “Hey,” I called out. “Are you going to tell Porter about Eddie?”

  “I’m going to call him right now,” Danny said.

  That was all I needed to hear. I knew Porter was out of town, but I didn’t know how far.

  In other words… I didn’t have much time alone with Knox.

  Any sane woman would have been terrified to turn the corner of a dark alley and find some tall, wide shouldered biker standing there, smoking a cigarette, his eyes damn near glowing with evil against a buzzing streetlight that hung from an adjacent building.

  For me, it was everything I could have ever dreamt of.

  So many nights I had stood in my bedroom window, staring across to Knox’s window, wondering if he was there and what he was doing. Or who he was doing. I had gotten to the point where I felt confident enough to talk to him but then my mother ended up in bed with his father and all hell broke loose. In the blink of an eye, my entire world changed again. My mother chain smoked more than ever. She cried at the kitchen table. She missed my father. She wasn’t sure if she actually liked Knox’s father or not.

  Across the yard, Knox’s mother took off. His grandmother died. His father was never home. And before I knew it, Knox started to wear a leather cut just like his father. He had been sucked i
nto the MC life.

  But the life worked for him. It made Knox who he was odd enough, it matched who he was before the life. As though he was born to become this outlaw kind of man. For me, that meant always having a dream and fantasy but never living it out. It meant I’d never have the wraparound porch and white fence out front, you know? I’d never stand at the door and greet him from a long day of work. Maybe that was meant to be for the better, but it didn’t end up that way.

  “Hey, darlin’,” Knox said as he tossed his smoke across the alley. It bounced, sparked, and died out.

  “Knox,” I said. “That was bad what you just did.”

  “Bad? When you fuck my boys…”

  “Porter is tied into this,” I said.

  “Fuck him,” Knox said. “My band works hard.”

  “I know. I’m sorry.” I approached him. “It’s been a while, huh?”

  He stood before me, towering over me. “Far too long, darlin’.”

  I held my hand out. “Here. This is from Danny. He was going to rip you off.”

  “Of course he was,” Knox said. “A lot of these dickhead club owners do that. The band really does have a life outside this. They’re honest guys. Good guys. Paying for their families.”

  “And you?” I asked.

  Knox grinned. “You know who I am, Ana. What I do. What I stand for.”

  “So the Reap is still alive?” I asked, referring to the Reaper’s Bastards MC.

  “Is that a question you really want answered?” he asked, reaching for my face.

  His fingers stroked my cheek, bringing life between my legs for the first time in a long time. There was a different feeling when Knox turned me on. It wasn’t just about me getting wet. It was like heat surged head to toe inside me. It was the wildest feeling, something no person gave me.

  I tucked my shoulder to his hand and let out a little sigh.

  Knox was killing me. He was always killing me.

  “Ah, fuck,” he whispered. “What happened to us, darlin’?”

  “Do you really want to go there?” I asked. “History sometimes hurts.”

  “Yeah, it does. I never stopped thinking of you. I know you’re not happy here. I can fix all that, Ana. I can steal you away.”

  “Into what kind of life?” I asked.

  “One where you know you’re loved. One where you know you’ll forever be touched the right way.” The back of his hand gently touched my cheek. “The way you deserve.”

  Next thing I knew I was turning, backing up, knowing I wanted to hit the building and have him pin me against it. I wanted to feel his hand against the back of my leg and lift it. I wanted to feel him kiss me, undress me, fuck me. We never had our chance at it the right way. Everything had always been so rushed, waiting for the next slice of hell to come barging into our lives.

  Knox got close to me, but not as close as I wanted him.

  I then lifted the money to him, like I was afraid of him or something.

  “Take this,” I whispered. “I have to go. Porter is on his way.”

  “You think I give a shit about that guy?” Knox asked. “Darlin’, I just want you to find happiness.”

  “I’m working on that,” I said. “Saving money so I could get away from it all, Knox.”

  He nodded. He put his hand over mine and pushed it away. “Keep the money.”

  “What?”

  “You heard me. Keep it.”

  “No. It’s your money.”

  He shook his head. “Ana, I earn on my own. You take that money and stash it away. You never know when you’ll need it.”

  I swallowed hard, feeling all those old emotions starting to stir again. Each time I met up with Knox, he always found a way to give something to me. To remind me that under that outlaw attitude and thick muscle there was a beautiful man with a beautiful heart.

  “What about your band?” I asked.

  “I’ll take care of them. I usually do. Plus, we’re sort of moving away from it all. Bret’s old lady hates him on the road so much. Luke’s old lady just had their second kid. Might be time to put it all away. Which is fine by me.”

  “Jesus, Knox,” I said. “I had no idea. You guys are really good and popular.”

  “I’m looking at the true star in all of this,” he whispered to me.

  Just like that we were set back years, the two of us staring down at the beginning of a wild kiss. Our lips got so close, just barely touching, then Knox pulled away.

  “Not this time,” he said.

  “Knox…”

  “Darlin’, I can’t hold back anymore with you. If I kiss you again I’m going to devour you. I’m going to tear you apart. You need to know that. I’m done with these fucking games. You need to get the fuck out of here, Ana. For good. There’s nothing left here for you.”

  “What about you?” I asked.

  “Don’t worry about me,” he said. “You know what I’m doing here. What I’m trying to protect, save, create. It’s part of me. It will forever be a part of me. But you can go. I’m sorry to say this to you, darlin’, but there’s nothing here for you. It’s all dead and gone.”

  I made a fist and punched at Knox’s chest. “I hate you!” I cried out. What I wanted to tell him was that I loved him. That I wanted him to take me away. That we could figure it out.

  Knox grabbed my fist as I tried to hit him again. He brought my fist to his mouth and kissed my hand. He then reached for my face again and touched my cheek.

  He walked to his motorcycle and just like always, he was gone.

  I stood there, tears in my eyes.

  That night came to an end, but what happened with me and Knox was far from being over. I was going to pay dearly for it.

  Oh, and remember how Knox told me to stash the money because I’ll never know when I would need it?

  I would use some of that money to buy a pregnancy test.

  chapter eight

  (knox)

  *THEN*

  Yeah, I had set the car on fire. It was a clear message to a rival crew to stay the fuck away from me, my club, and my fucking town. Yeah, I had ruined some merchandise in the trunk of the car. And, yeah, I may have beaten up the driver to the point where he wouldn’t talk for a good two months.

  I wasn’t going to tell the cops that though.

  Someone had ratted my ass out and within ten minutes of getting away from the fiery scene, a cop car was waiting for me. Right in the middle of the road. The prick hit me right in the eyes with his spotlight. I tried to dart around him and lost my edge, dropping my ride right on the road. I ripped up my right leg and the cop dragged me to the back of his car.

  Now I was in a small interrogation room, facing down a detective who wanted to paint me as the guy who set the car on fire.

  “I have no idea what happened,” I said. “I was coming back from the strip club.”

  “Right, right,” he said. He said to call him Joey. “I’ll be contacting that club to confirm you were there.”

  I leaned forward and smiled. “Why don’t you just check between Amber’s tits? That’s where I spent most of my night. Oh, and between her legs. She tastes great.”

  “I thought strippers don’t like to be touched.”

  “By guys like you, no,” I said. “But a guy like me…” I laughed.

  Joey stood up and put his fists to the table. “I’m going to get you for this one, Knox. And since you’re representing your gang of friends, I’m going to roll on them too. Unless, of course, you want to help me out with that.”

  “How’s that?”

  “Tell me why they had you set that car on fire. What was really happening between everyone.”

  I touched my chin. “Okay… let me think.”

  Joey squinted his eyes. We were in silence for a minute. Finally, Joey asked, “Anything?”

  “I can’t stop thinking about Amber’s pussy. See, those were the only lips I saw moving tonight.”

  “Fuck you, Knox,” Joey spat at me. “I know
what you fucking guys are up to.”

  “If you really did, you wouldn’t be so mad. But the truth? We have a common interest in motorcycles and strippers.”

  “Run by your father,” Joey said. “You know what’s going to happen when I come down on you all?”

  “No, I don’t. Tell me. Let’s talk about it. Sit down. Have a drink, Joey.”

  The detective left the room.

  I exhaled and wasn’t sure what was going to happen next.

  I did not expect the Chief of Police to enter the room. I did not expect him to take out a gun and put it on the table in front of me. I figured he was there to break my balls some more.

  Instead, he walked behind me and unlocked the cuffs.

  “Stand up, son,” the rough voiced chief said.

  I stood up.

  Chief walked to the side of the table and put his hands on it. “What’d you tell Joey?”

  “Nothing,” I said. “I was at a strip club. I had nothing to do with some car fire.”

  Chief nodded to the gun. “What if I put that gun in your mouth. Would you still say the same thing?”

  “Probably not,” I said.

  “Why not?”

  “If there’s a gun in my fucking mouth, how could I talk?”

  Chief let out a laugh. He grabbed the gun and tucked it away. “Get the hell out of here, kid.”

  “Yeah?” I asked.

  “Tell Hammer to meet up for coffee tomorrow. He’ll know where.”

  Just like that, I was off the hook. I knew the Reap had the PD working alongside us but I didn’t realize it went that deep. As it would turn out, Chief was the one who asked the old man to have me take care of that car.

  Small fucking world, right?

  When I left the police station, two of my boys - Slam and King - were waiting for me. We hugged and rode back to the clubhouse. I entered the clubhouse and it was quiet. Everyone was just sitting there, looking at me. Someone pointed to the chapel (the room where we would meet and discuss business). I opened the door and it was a full table.

  My old man at the head of the table, standing, looking pissed off.

  “What’d you tell them?” he asked me.

  “Nothing. I said nothing.”