HARD KNOX

by Jaxson Kidman

  “Okay. What is it?”

  Megan walked to her bag and I braced myself.

  She didn’t take out a gun or a knife.

  She took out a box with two pregnancy tests in it.

  When I saw the box I let out a gasp. Her eyes filled with tears and I hurried to hug her.

  “It’s bad,” she said. “It’s so bad.”

  “What is?”

  “It’s not with Mickey,” she said.

  I backed away and put her at arm’s length. That was a big problem.

  Megan told me a story of how someone else put some moves on her when Mickey was out of town. They’d been having an affair for a year now. She said she felt like a whore and like her mother. Now she was late and she feared the worst. I felt like a terrible person when I said maybe Mickey wouldn’t find out. Then she made it very clear that it would be obvious that baby wasn’t his. Like a fool I asked how and Megan pointed to her skin. Her Italian skin looked like it had a light tan all the time, along with Mickey’s. Apparently that guy she’d been sleeping with had much darker skin. And he wasn’t part of the family.

  In other words, Megan would be a marked woman.

  I watched her walk to the bathroom and I made a decision right then.

  Tonight… I was cashing out of this life…

  Megan let out a scream and I lunged for the bathroom. She had her mouth covered and was jumping up and down.

  The pregnancy test was negative.

  I couldn’t bring myself to remind her that it could have been early. That in another week or so it could be positive. That the tests were always as early accurate as the box said.

  But I let her have her moment.

  She hugged me tight and we both ended up jumping.

  “It’s stress,” she said. “You know? Just stress.”

  It was like she was trying to convince herself.

  “Okay. Just calm down. Try to take it easy and focus, Megan. If you don’t get your…”

  “I’ll be fine,” she said.

  She looked like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

  Next thing I knew she was grabbing her bag, downing the entire glass of wine, and saying she had to go.

  She kissed my cheek and said, “Please keep this between us. Promise me, Ana.”

  “Of course,” I said. “Megan, if you’re not happy, then do something. Don’t jump bed to bed. If you get yourself too deep…”

  Megan reached up and wiped at my eye. It hurt a little and I winced. “Look in the mirror, Ana. Okay? If you’re not happy… then you do something.”

  She left me standing there with a lump in my throat.

  For the record, two days later, she got her period and her dirty secret remained intact for a long time.

  Megan also left the second pregnancy test on the table. I hurried to hide it in the bathroom, not knowing I would need it sooner than I ever thought possible.

  I went to my bedroom and got my shoebox of cash. I sat there and counted up every last dollar and dime, coming up with a figure that was way too short, but just enough to make the dream tempting.

  I looked around the room and knew I could pack up a couple bags and just go.

  So that’s what I did.

  I was out. I was done.

  Yeah, the memories of moving into town played through my mind. Climbing out of the truck and seeing Knox for the first time. Him helping us move everything into the apartment. The way he talked to his friend about me - on day one - showing me that he had interest. Not to mention all the wild times…

  But I was done.

  No more taking hits from anyone. No more Knox just popping up when he felt like it to check on me. My heart had been twisted up so tight it was dangling by a small thread.

  I had my bags on my shoulders, the money all tucked away. My keys were in my hand and I mentally thought about how I’d call my landlady to ditch the apartment. Oh well to her. I had to protect myself. I had to save myself. I didn’t want to end up like Megan, you know?

  I got to the door and opened it, freedom just a foot away.

  Yeah, freedom was just a foot away… but not the kind I was hoping to find.

  The freedom in front of me right then came with a name.

  And I spoke it.

  “Knox.”

  He ripped the bags off my shoulders and moved into my apartment like he owned the place. He slammed the door shut and locked all the locks, including the chain which I never used before. There was blood on his face and I knew it was his. He looked like he’d been roughed up pretty bad. The anger flowed across his face but his eyes were a completely different story.

  I realized he was wearing his leather cut again. I hadn’t seen him in a Reaper’s Bastards MC cut in a while.

  What the fuck is going on?

  I couldn’t find the words to ask him that.

  His hands grabbed my hips and he walked me back. I’ll admit it - there were dozens of fantasies I had about Knox and a good chunk of them started just like this. Him showing up and just ravaging me.

  I kept walking back until I hit the dining room table. His hands moved to the back of my legs and he lifted me up, putting me on the table. He pulled at me, bringing our bodies together. Through his jeans I felt him. I. Felt. Him. His huge cock getting bigger by the second. The fucking apartment was so hot and steamy I expected the smoke alarms to start beeping.

  One hand slipped around to my back and he came forward to kiss me. A sensible person would have stopped Knox from kissing me, but there was no sense with him. He scrambled my brain, my heart, and everything else in my body. He activated needs that I never knew I had.

  We started to kiss and the intention was very clear.

  He was here to fuck me.

  His left hand grabbed at the bottom of my shirt and his hand explored. I felt his strong, outlaw fingers cup over my breast, squeezing, sending a warm pulse down through my core right to between my legs.

  His other hand touched my face, gently stroking my cheek as he kissed me harder. Of course, it was the wrong side of my face and, of course, he started to press harder.

  I fought the urge to jump back from the pain but I couldn’t control it.

  The second I winced and pulled away, our moment was done.

  Knox eased back and looked right at my face.

  I saw his eyes go wide and I knew he knew.

  Fuck.

  “Why are you wearing so much makeup?” he asked.

  I just stared.

  “And your bags… you were taking off?”

  “Yeah. I have cash. Not enough, but I…”

  “Why?” he growled at me.

  Knox was still between my legs. He should have been tearing my clothes off. His mouth should have been kissing anywhere he wanted to kiss on me.

  “Darlin’, tell me what you’re thinking,” Knox said to me.

  “Tell me first,” I whispered. “What happened to your face?”

  “I had a talk with Porter.”

  “No,” I said. I reached for the cuts. “Knox…”

  “It’s all good,” he said.

  “Why are you wearing your leather cut again?”

  “Simple. I’m meant to fucking wear this. This is who I am. The Reap has not died and never will die. I’m an outlaw with a bad heart, Ana, but you’re the only one who makes my heart feel right. That’s why I’m here. I’m done fucking around. I’m done playing games. There’s a lot I have to say to you but right now, I’m alone with you. I’m fucking finally alone with you the way I’ve always dreamed to be.”

  Jesus… fuck me… Knox…

  My entire body quivered.

  I touched the end of the table and tried to lower my head.

  All I wanted to do was disappear. The temptation was too great though. Most women would love to indulge a little with temptation, but with Knox, there was no indulging. It was addicting.

  Knox touched my jaw and made it so I couldn’t avoid looking at him.

  “Your
face,” he whispered. “Go clean that shit off. I want to see.”

  “No,” I said. “Knox, no.”

  “Goddammit, darlin’, I’m not giving you a choice here. You’re going to take your pretty ass into that bathroom and clean your face off. Right now.”

  The anger was still on his face. I saw it changing to something else.

  I was staring into the eyes of my protector though. That’s what Knox had always been for me. The truth was that he’d come to see me. He’d obviously taken a beating from Porter, which I knew had to be an unfair fight because I’d seen Knox fight so many times already. He wouldn’t have lost to a guy like Porter one on one.

  He wanted the truth? He wanted to see?

  “Fine,” I said. “Move.”

  I jumped off the table. I felt my panties pull against my body and swallowed hard. I was dripping. The mess was completely unfair because I was then untouched.

  I walked into the bathroom and saw Knox lingering behind me.

  The weird part was that as I washed my face clean, it wasn’t just the makeup coming off. It was like I was somehow taking off a mask I’d been wearing for years. A mask that tried to keep myself at a safe distance from Knox. But what had that gotten me?

  Nothing.

  I was lonely, desperate, and I wasn’t happy.

  I wiped my face and stared at myself. The bruise was clearing up, just like it always did.

  I knew when I left the bathroom and let Knox see my face, nothing would be the same again. I started to shake. I teared up.

  I’d never loved someone like I loved Knox… and admitting it and embracing it was the hardest thing to do…

  chapter fourteen

  (knox)

  *THEN*

  I got the word she was at a party and drinking a lot. The last time I talked to her she said she and her mother had gotten into it pretty bad. To the point where they pushed each other and her mother slapped her. She called her mother a whore for sleeping with my father and her mother booted her out.

  Some dumb ass friend in college dragged her to a party for fun.

  Matteo tried keeping me out of it. The old man tracked me down and put me in a corner to convince me otherwise.

  I wasn’t having it.

  At the very least he asked if I’d take my leather cut off. Whether it was a test or not, I made it very clear the leather cut would never leave my body.

  I took Slam with me and we rode through the hills, just outside the city, where a college campus crawled through the trees. Completely hidden from the real world, it stood and served as a way for people to spend four years figuring out what they wanted to do with their lives.

  I won’t lie, it was an easy place to pick up women who were looking for a little outlaw wildness. We always called them one-nighters because if they stayed at the clubhouse for a night, by morning, they were all but begging for a ride back.

  The second I went into the house, it was like a fucking movie scene. People everywhere. All of them holding red cups. Beach balls getting bounced around. Music thumping. Out back, the yard was just as full. All eyes were on me and Slam as we walked through the place. I asked everyone in sight where Ana was and most of them knew nothing. Of course they didn’t know her… she didn’t fucking go to college there. She didn’t go to college anywhere. That opportunity in life was pissed away a long time ago.

  I finally found her dumb ass friend and asked her where Ana was. She pointed upstairs with a red faced grin.

  I turned to bolt.

  Slam grabbed for me but I was gone. My shoulders were wide and I knocked everyone out of my way. Two guys made comments at me but I didn’t bother stopping. Slam did though. He never gave up the chance to knock someone’s jaw off. That left me alone as I walked up the stairs of the house. I started with the first door I could find and started kicking them in. There was some crazy shit going on - nothing I hadn’t done in my life up to that point - but I couldn’t stop fearing what I’d find when I found Ana.

  The last door on the right was the one.

  I opened it and the first thing I saw was Ana on the bed. Her head turned toward me, eyes half shut. Her arms were limp, a red cup on the floor, booze spilled onto the carpet.

  Some asshole was on top of her, lifting her shirt up. I saw him kiss below her belly button, his other hand pulling at her jeans, and I lost my mind.

  I stepped into the room and the asshole looked up at me. He smiled, like he was a king about to feast.

  “Hey, bro,” he said. “When I’m done you can have her.”

  Yeah, that wasn’t the right thing to say to me in that moment.

  I walked around the bed and grabbed the asshole by his shirt. I threw him so hard against the wall he bounced off it and came flying at me. There was shock in his eyes but that was quickly replaced by tears when I nailed him in the jaw. He flew to the left, into a dresser, knocking everything off it. He stumbled and groaned, trying to mumble something at me. He grabbed a few picture frames and launched them at me but I swatted them away.

  When I got him by the back of the neck I slammed his face off the wall, over and over, my mind unable to stop playing images of what this guy intended to do to my Ana. To my darlin’. My girl. And she wasn’t even coherent enough to make a decision and tell this prick not to touch her body.

  It might have been ten hits… maybe fifty… but I felt someone grab my arm.

  It was Slam.

  He pulled me away from the guy and the guy toppled to the ground, crying like a baby.

  “Bro,” Slam said to me, “go take care of Ana. I got this.”

  Yeah, Slam wasn’t there to stop me from beating the guy. He took over for me.

  Slam had massive feet. And he kicked the guy over and over as I tended to Ana.

  I kept her head turned to the side as I checked to make sure nothing had happened. The next day I’d get the entire story and truth. That she was upset and just drank too much at once. That some guy was grabbing at her and she sort of liked the attention but had no intention of going upstairs with him. She actually went upstairs to get sick and somehow ended up in the bedroom.

  Man, the rage that soared through me during that night and the day after was bad.

  But that night I lifted Ana up and made her walk with me.

  She finally did get sick - all over my leather cut.

  It pissed me off, but it was Ana. My darlin’. My girl. I would have carried her to the end of the world, puke all over my leather, shirt, arm, and leg.

  All for her.

  I took her to the clubhouse and took care of her all night.

  Not in the way I wanted to though.

  But I saved her that night.

  I told myself then I would forever save her - no matter if it cost me my life.

  chapter fifteen

  (knox)

  *NOW*

  She stepped out of the bathroom and I felt all that rage rush back to me. I wasn’t stupid and I wasn’t blind. I knew Ana had been with other guys. It was only right she explore her needs and wants. I knew she’d never find anyone better than me, but the thought of another man even looking at her made me insane. But to see a bruise under her right eye…

  I reached back and felt for my gun. Not to hurt Ana. Never. I had the sudden urge to blast out of that apartment and go find Porter. He was going to take a bullet for this.

  Ana just stood there, afraid.

  I didn’t want her afraid. Or ashamed.

  “This is my fault, darlin’,” I said to her.

  “How?”

  I swallowed hard. Goddammit, emotions were trying to nip at me right then. I didn’t get emotional like that. Fuck that.

  I stepped toward Ana, my hands demanding I hold her. Demanding I steal all her pain and fear. It was all she ever had in her life. From the second her perfect middle class life was ripped apart by her father.

  “I should have never kept my distance,” I said to her. I touched her face but not the bruise. “I will never do tha
t again, darlin’. This has been real from the day I met you. Fuck, nothing has ever been so real to me. Nothing will ever be so real.”

  Ana reached for me, grabbing at my jeans. I felt her nails touch my skin and it set me on fire. Her fingers curled and were inside my jeans. She pulled at me, backing up, pinning me against her body.

  She looked up at me with those eyes that had been trying to find a pulse in my heart for years. Little did she know she was the lightning bolt that kept me alive.

  With my other hand, I touched her breast, over her shirt. I squeezed and she let out a whimper, putting her head back against the wall.

  I lowered my head down to hers. I stood there, our foreheads touching, the line of temptation already a mile behind us. That wasn’t the problem. It had nothing to do with loyalty, relationship, or cheating. Fuck all that shit too. Ana was my darlin’. Ana was my girl. I was her man. I was her outlaw. I was fucking Knoxville, the only guy she ever needed.

  Right then, we were crossing the line of a wild romance that was going to rip us both apart. And right then, without saying a word, we were both ready for it.

  “I swear I’ll tell you everything,” she whispered to me. “Later.”

  She bit her lip, blocking me from kissing her. Not that she meant to block a kiss from me, but I wasn’t concerned.

  She had another set of lips that I was dying to taste again…

  I dropped down and heard her gasp. My hands grabbed her pants and I ripped at them. I needed to see her, touch her, fucking taste that sweet honey I’d been missing for a long damn time. She bounced against the wall as she lifted her legs one at a time letting me take her pants off. She opened her legs, showing me a little wet spot on her red panties.

  “Fucking hell, darlin,’” I groaned.

  I put my face right between her legs, my nose rubbing against that wet spot, smelling the sweet desire that poured out of her body. There was nothing better than that. One sniff shot through my body. My cock thickened, filling right up, knowing tonight was the fucking night I’d get Ana all to myself.