Beloved Hope (Heart of the Frontier Book #2)

by Tracie Peterson

  To his surprise, one of the first people he ran into was Eddie Wilson. “You’re a sight for sore eyes, Sergeant.”

  The redhead flashed his former lieutenant a smile. “I never thought to see you here. You re-enlisting?”

  “No. I’m helping a friend get back to Oregon City. We’ve been on the river. Came down from Fort Nez Perce.”

  “Well, you won’t be going much farther for a while. Oregon City is under quarantine.”

  Lance frowned and glanced across the room to where Alex was speaking with his friend. “Quarantine? For what?”

  “Cholera. There’s not a boat captain here who’ll be willing to risk breaking quarantine.”

  This presented a whole new list of problems. When Alex heard about the quarantine, he was going to be hard to hold back. He would insist on immediately returning to his expectant wife, and Lance couldn’t blame him. His own worries about Hope made him want to risk the journey. He couldn’t imagine what Alex would feel once he learned the truth.

  Lance decided not to try to think it through right now. He was tired and hungry, and it was best to put first things first. “We need a good hot meal and a place to sleep.”

  “The Hudson’s Bay folks have everything you need.”

  “I thought they were long gone from here.”

  “Nah. They moved their headquarters north, but there’s still some agreement with them and our government for using the fort. I’d rather they just cleared out so we can make this a regular army fort, but as I hear it, that’s going to take a while. But enough about that, I want to hear all about your life as a civilian.”

  Lance followed his friend but wasn’t in the mood to describe his exploits. He kept wondering about Hope and how he might help her. He prayed she wasn’t one of the sick. Now that he knew how much he loved her, he couldn’t imagine life without her.

  “You still working for that sawmill?” Eddie asked.

  “I am. I find it satisfying.”

  “Does that mean you’ve given up on being a lawyer and going back to New Orleans?”

  “I’m not sure. I’ve fallen in love and intend to marry a local girl.”

  Eddie threw him a mischievous grin. “Another good man lost to the shackles of matrimony.”

  “Well, if I can talk her into it. As for going back to New Orleans, I plan to do that after we wed. She hates this place. I’ll pick up my law practice again once we’re there. You should come look us up when you muster out.”

  “I’ll have to do that. Maybe you’ll even have a job for me.”

  Lance smiled. “I’d have to have references.”

  They both laughed.

  “Well, here you go,” Eddie said, stopping at a desk where a thin, bearded man sat. “This is one of the Company’s men, and he’ll see that you and your friend are well cared for.”

  “Thanks, Eddie. Awfully good to see you again.”

  Eddie grinned. “You too, Lieutenant. I’m sure we’ll meet again. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m late for duty.”

  Lance smiled and turned to the Company man. “I’m in need of a hot meal and bed for me and my friend. A doctor too, if one’s available. My friend was badly wounded by a grizzly and laid up for some time at Fort Nez Perce.”

  The man nodded and got to his feet. “Ah, you must be talking about Alex Armistead. We know all about the attack.”

  “Yes. He’s talking to one of his acquaintances over there. I figured I’d get things squared away.”

  “No problem. I’ll arrange a room for you. You two can take a seat in the dining area, and I’ll have someone bring you something to eat.”

  Lance nodded and went to fetch Alex. When he reached the two men, however, he could see that something was wrong.

  “What’s going on?”

  “Oregon City is quarantined for cholera,” Alex replied as his friend departed. “Bart says no one is going in or out of the town.”

  “I just heard the same.”

  “Well, if there aren’t any boats, then we need to get a couple of horses.”

  “You can hardly stand on your own two feet. How in the world are you going to ride a horse for hours in your condition?”

  Alex’s dark eyes quickly glanced around the room. “I’ll manage. You need to go ask about borrowing horses. Bart’s going to see about a boat that would at least get us close without going into town.”

  “Alex, you’re being unreasonable.”

  Alex fixed him with a hard look. “My pregnant wife is sitting in the middle of a cholera epidemic. She’s one of the first people others seek when they’re ill—especially if they don’t believe in doctors. I’m not going to sit by while she’s in danger.”

  Lance heard the desperation in Alex’s voice. There was no point arguing with him. “I’ll go ask around. Meanwhile, they’re arranging a meal for us in the dining room. Why don’t you wait for me there?”

  “Just be quick about it,” Alex replied.

  “I’ll do my best.”

  Lance went in search of Bart. He didn’t know him, but if Bart knew Alex, he surely understood the gravity of the situation.

  “I’m Lance Kenner. I’m traveling with Alex Armistead,” he said when he finally caught up with Bart outside. The clouds overhead were dark and heavy, and the temperature was steadily dropping.

  “I’m Bart.” He was bearded and tall and looked like a brute of a man. “What can I do for you?”

  “Alex has it in his head to get to Oregon City despite the quarantine. He wants me to secure horses or find someone with a boat willing to take us close enough to walk in. He said you might know someone.”

  Bart nodded. “I told him it was impossible, but I know a fella who lives where the Willamette and Clackamas Rivers meet. He’s heading home this afternoon with a stop in Milwaukie. He might be willing to take the two of you on.”

  Lance nodded. “If you don’t mind, I’ll come with you to find out. I’m afraid if I don’t arrange something soon, Alex will walk out of here, crutch and all.”

  Bart laughed. “Yep. He’ll do just that.”

  Grace was slipping away. She had expelled everything that went into her body, and still Hope continued pushing fluids into her. Her sister was far too weak to sit up on her own, so Hope had propped her up with rolled blankets and pillows. This made it easier to spoon water into her mouth, although Grace didn’t want it. Thankfully, so far neither Hope nor Mercy showed any signs of the sickness.

  Grace said very little. Mostly she slept. Throughout the night, Hope had done whatever she could to make her sister comfortable. It was clear that Grace was fighting with all her will to live, but the sickness refused to abate.

  Hope kept reminding herself that people lived through cholera. She’d seen it on the wagon train. It was possible—if God willed it.

  Mercy showed up at the bedroom door just after the sun began to rise. “Pastor Masterson is here.”

  Getting to her feet, Hope nodded. “Send him in.” When he entered the room, Hope couldn’t keep the tears from spilling over her cheeks. “I’ve done everything I can.”

  He put his arm around her. “I’m sure you have. You’re a devoted sister, but cholera is a terrible illness.”

  “Grace told me what to do before she got too bad, but I keep worrying that I’ve missed something. I feel so helpless and afraid.” She sobbed as he patted her back.

  “There now, you can’t allow this to overtake you. God is still with you and will never leave you to bear this alone.”

  Hope pulled away. “I want to believe that. But just when I think I’m getting my heart right with God, something happens and the doubts return.”

  He smiled. “It’s hard sometimes to hold on to our faith. The things that happen around us seem to have no purpose or reason except to exhaust and discourage us. Still, you have to hold on and remember that God is in control. After all, what is the alternative?”

  She shook her head. “I suppose . . . nothing.” She sniffed back tears and tried
to get a hold on her emotions. “If I don’t put my faith in God, then there’s nothing worth putting faith in at all.” She sank down onto the bed. “But if He’s truly in control, then why does He allow these things?”

  Pastor Masterson pulled up the chair that Hope had used in the night. He sat down and shrugged. “I’ve often asked myself that. Why did God allow the serpent a place in the Garden of Eden? Wouldn’t it have been simpler if He had kept temptation out of the garden altogether?”

  “Exactly.” Hope nodded. “He’s all-powerful and all-knowing. He can do anything.”

  “Including heal a body when death seems to have a grip.” He smiled. “But sometimes healing comes in the form of death.”

  She shook her head. “Grace must not die. Nor the baby. It’s important she live. So many people depend on her, love her. If God must take one of us, let Him take me.”

  “But God doesn’t work like that, Hope. He’s not waiting for you to suggest a barter. I don’t know why this sickness has come upon Grace, but I do know that my trust is in the Lord. I will pray and ask Him to heal your sister, just as I know you are praying.” He took her hand. “But, Hope, you mustn’t be afraid to trust Him whether things go your way or not.”

  “I know. I’ve let fear be my constant guardian since the Whitman Massacre. I hate it. I don’t want to live in fear.”

  “That’s good, because fear doesn’t come from God. The second book of Timothy in chapter one tells us that. ‘For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.’”

  It was the key Hope had been searching for. “So fear is the Devil’s doing?”

  The pastor smiled. “Exactly. Fear is what gives life to doubts, to lies, even to murder.”

  She thought of how she’d wanted to kill Tomahas and nodded. “But how do I overcome fear? How do I stop being afraid?”

  “Believe that God is more powerful than Satan. You do, don’t you?”

  “Of course.” She considered the ease with which she’d answered. Did she really believe that, or was she only saying so because it was expected? “I’m . . . well, I know in my head that it’s the truth, but . . .”

  “In your heart you have doubts?”

  “I suppose I do.” She nodded. “Can God still love me when I feel like this?”

  “Hope, God loved you before you were even created.” He squeezed her hand. “God doesn’t stop loving us when we do wrong or make bad choices. He loves you, and though sometimes we cannot see it or feel it, His love is constant and will never leave us. Grace knows that. She has a strong faith. I’ve heard her speak of God. She has put her life in His hands, and now you must do the same.”

  Hope let out a long breath. “I know.” She straightened and wiped away the last of her tears with the edge of her apron. “Sometimes I feel as if I’ll never learn the things God is trying to teach me.”

  Pastor Masterson smiled. “That’s why He gives us a lifetime.”

  Chapter

  22

  Lance felt sorry for Alex. He was desperate to reach his wife, but the only means of transportation available was much slower than he desired. Even with Lance helping the boat owner, Patrick Smith, and his sons row, it was an extremely slow process to make their way upriver. Thankfully the skies had cleared, and they weren’t having to contend with the rain.

  If the boat had been larger, no doubt Alex would have been pacing. As it was, he offered more than once to help with the rowing. When they stopped for the night in Milwaukie, Lance did all that he could to encourage his friend.

  “We’ll be home tomorrow.”

  “I know.” Alex stared off at the dark waters of the river. “It feels like I’ve been away for a lifetime. I never meant it to be this way.”

  “Everyone knows that—especially Grace.”

  Alex walked as best he could from one end of the bedroom to the other. Lance had gotten them a room at the hotel nearest the dock, but he doubted Alex would sleep much. Lance, experiencing the soreness of muscles unaccustomed to rowing, knew he’d have no trouble sleeping, even on the floor.

  “Are you sure your soldier friend will get word to Edward?”

  Lance smiled. Eddie had told him just before he and Alex departed the fort that he and a dozen soldiers were headed to Oregon City to evaluate the situation and whether additional help was needed. When Alex heard this, he gave Eddie a letter to take to Edward Marsh. They would need help getting from their stopping point to the Armistead farm.

  “Eddie’s a good man. We served together for several years, and there’s not another man I would want by my side. He’ll get the message through.”

  Alex nodded and finally sank into a chair by the window. He dropped his crutch and began massaging his thigh. “I wish we’d gone by horseback. We could be there by now.”

  “Not necessarily. I know you’re determined, but you’re barely off your deathbed. Grace would have my hide if I let you die on my watch.”

  Alex met his eyes. “I know. I just wish I knew if she was safe.”

  “Well, they’re out on the farm away from town. Maybe they’ve managed to avoid the sickness.”

  “You don’t know Grace like I do,” Alex replied with a hint of a smile. “She’ll be the first one out there helping folks. Even expecting a baby, she would feel it was her duty to help heal folks.”

  “I know that much about her.” Lance wished he could offer something more consoling.

  “I’ve been praying, but it’s so hard to wait. I know God is with Grace—with all of them—but I want to be there too.”

  “Still, we wouldn’t be any help if we came down sick too. You’re in a weakened state of health, and it would probably be deadly if you took on cholera.”

  “I realize that, but I can’t stay here. I’ve been away too long as it is.”

  Lance completely understood. He hadn’t been away from Hope very long at all, and yet he felt it had been months. “We should probably put out the lamp and get some sleep. Morning’s going to come soon enough, and Smith wants to leave at first light.”

  “I doubt I could sleep. I keep thinking about everything. I know God knows what has happened—that He allowed it. He knew about the bear that would attack me and the damage it would do. I remember Grace once talking about how she thought being spiritually saved would keep you from any evil harm. We talked about how the Devil goes around looking to do his worst. We came to the conclusion that only by leaving this world could we be completely safe from harm.”

  Lance thought about that for a moment. “It is hard to face. What’s the sense in asking God to intervene or keep us from harm if it means nothing?”

  Alex shook his head. “I don’t think it means nothing to God. I think He hears and honors each prayer. I think sometimes, however, we go through things to learn from them. We learn, and then we can help others when they go through the same thing.”

  “So you got attacked by a bear so that when someone else gets attacked, you can offer them consolation?”

  Alex actually smiled. “Or tell them before they get attacked not to let their guard down even for a moment when they’re cooking in bear country.”

  “I think it’d be a whole lot nicer if He just kept us from all the troubles of the world. Just imagine how quickly folks might come to Him if they knew that once they did, nothing bad would ever happen to them again.”

  “Yet that wouldn’t be coming to Him out of a desire to be with Him—to know Him and love Him. I look at it like this. I love Grace and want Grace to be with me because she loves me. But if Grace only married me because I promised her a big house with all the food and clothes she could ever want . . . well, that would be a hollow victory. She wouldn’t be there because she loved me but because I could give her something.”

  “Makes sense when you put it that way. But on the other hand, when Grace came to you as a wife, you set yourself up to be her protector and provider. You were determined to keep her from harm.”

  �
��Yes, I want to keep her from harm. But Grace still makes her own choices, and sometimes those choices take her into situations that can cause her harm. I see all of us that way. We could come to God and then live in a cave somewhere, waiting to die, but that wouldn’t make us very useful. We can also choose to go places or do things we know are dangerous—that might even cost us our lives—but what did the Apostle Paul say about ‘to live is Christ and to die is gain’? I think it’s in Philippians. Anyway, I suppose that was his way of saying that so long as we live, we do so with Jesus, and we further God’s Word and help folks get to know Him. And when we die, we gain living in His presence where nothing will ever hurt us again.” Alex yawned and motioned to the bed. “I think I am going to try to sleep.”

  Lance nodded, glad he was finally willing to rest. “Morning will be here before we know it.”

  “It can’t come soon enough for me,” Alex replied.

  Lance felt like he’d only slept for a few minutes when he was woken by the Smiths. Despite his injuries, Alex was up and ready to go within a matter of minutes while Lance lagged behind, fighting to clear his head. There wasn’t even time for coffee, which he would have paid ten times the normal price to have.

  The rest of the trip upriver passed quickly despite the rain that fell. Lance did his part to help row, but he found himself nodding off from time to time. Just as he relaxed his grip on his oar, however, the river would stir violently and either pull or push it against him, waking him up.

  “You think we’re gonna have trouble with flooding, Pa?” one of the Smith boys asked.

  “Can’t be sure. River’s definitely higher than it was a few days ago.”

  It was the most Lance had heard Smith say since they’d begun their journey from Fort Vancouver. None of the Smith men seemed bent toward conversation.

  When they finally reached their destination, Lance was relieved to see Edward standing on the Oregon City side of the river beside his wagon. He waved his hat in greeting. It was a welcome sight, and Lance felt that he could finally relax his vigil. Edward could take responsibility for Alex now.

  “Alex, you look a little worse for the wear,” Edward said, coming down to the dock. “I’m glad that bear didn’t hurt your handsome face, or my niece might have decided to send you packing.” He chuckled and embraced Alex. “I thought we’d lost you.”