Beloved Hope (Heart of the Frontier Book #2)

by Tracie Peterson

She laughed. “Well, I’ve had a long time to think about it.”

  He shook his head. “I wish you’d told me before I left.”

  “But you wouldn’t have gone, and I know that you most likely helped secure peace. I couldn’t hold you here, knowing how important it was. I knew you’d enjoy time with Sam too.”

  “But it was my choice to make.” He curled a piece of her hair around his finger. “Please don’t ever keep something this important from me again.”

  “I promise.” She touched the scar on his neck. “I was so afraid when you didn’t come back. When word came that you’d been hurt, I wanted to pack up my medicines and come to you. I knew I couldn’t, but believe me, I tried to figure out a way to do it.”

  He smiled. “I’ve no doubt of that. I can just imagine you ordering a team of men to take you to Fort Nez Perce.”

  “Lance was so good to go instead. I still can’t believe his connection to your past. I never even suspected.”

  “When he showed up at the fort, I thought he looked familiar, but I couldn’t place him. I figured he was someone from Oregon City that I knew through Edward or even church. Then I remembered he was one of the soldiers in the courtroom, and I figured that was all there was to it. When I heard someone use his name, however, it was all too clear. He even looks like his brother Justice.”

  “Well, Hope seems to like his looks. You don’t mind that they’re getting married, do you?”

  Alex laughed. “Of course not. Lance has proven himself to be a good man. The past isn’t important, and even if it were, I would never be so petty as to stand in the way of Hope’s happiness. God knows that poor woman has gone through enough.”

  Grace looked back out the window. “She has, and she deserves happiness. I’m glad they’ve agreed to marry for real. I’ve felt for a while that they would be good together. Their friendship reminded me of ours when we first met.”

  “That bad, eh?”

  She turned to face him, her stomach leading the way. “I didn’t think it was that bad.”

  He laughed. “No, just bad enough that you were always mad at me for something I’d said or done.”

  “I don’t remember being mad very often, but there were times when your stubbornness was very nearly my undoing.”

  “My stubbornness? What about yours? As I recall, you’re the one who snuck off during the night to go back to a mission where Indians were killing people and taking hostages. I hate to think what might have happened if Sam and I hadn’t caught up to you.”

  That thought sobered Grace. “I know what would have happened. I learned a lot that day.” She paused to shake away that thought. “Alex, do you think the tribal leaders will keep this peace? Did they believe you when you told them that the government didn’t want any more killing?”

  “I can’t say for sure. I’m not certain I believe the government is done killing Indians. Still, I told them it was to their benefit to live peacefully and avoid the whites if possible. If they aren’t confronting or being confronted by us, then hopefully there will be no chance for violence.”

  “I hope you’re right. Eletta tells me there’s been trouble down south in the Rogue River area. She said the tribes there are given to fighting with each other all the time, but now the miners have laid claim to the river, and it’s not boding well for either side. She said the miners are actually attacking the Indians without cause and doing so with the authorities’ encouragement.”

  Alex let go a heavy breath. “Like I said, I’m not sure the government will ever be done killing Indians.” He leaned forward and placed a brief kiss on Grace’s cheek. “Enough about that. I thought we were going to talk about names for our son. What name are you considering?”

  “I’d like to call him Gabriel.”

  Gabe had been Alex’s mentor and dearest friend, besides Sam Two Moons. The trio had hunted and trapped together for years. Then Gabe slipped while cutting wood and put an axe into his leg. He died of infection and what Grace perceived as Dr. Whitman’s interference.

  “Gabe was such a good friend to you and a good man.” The look on Alex’s face told her he approved, so she continued. “I’d also like to give him your name.”

  “Mine?”

  “Yes. I’d like to call him Gabriel Alexander, after two of the finest men I’ve ever known.”

  Alex pulled her into his arms as best he could. “I can’t think of any name that I’d like better. But what if you’re wrong and it’s a girl?”

  She shrugged. “That’s easy. Gabrielle Alexandria.”

  Laughing, Alex hugged her close. “Of course.”

  “I think getting married on the thirtieth is a wonderful idea,” Grace said as Alex helped her take a seat at the dinner table. The entire family had come together once again, and everyone was caught up in the plans for Hope’s marriage to Lance. “A November wedding served me quite well.”

  Hope gave Lance a smile as he pulled out her chair for her. Grace had encouraged them to marry before the baby came, and to Hope’s delight, Lance completely concurred.

  Taking his hand, Hope looked at her sister and the other guests. “We won’t have the same anniversary date, since I think it’s important we each have our own.”

  “I agree,” Mina Marsh said. She looked at her husband and smiled. “It’s too special of a day not to have it to yourself.”

  Edward chuckled. “There are no doubt plenty of other folks who married the same day we did.”

  “Yes, but I don’t know them, so it doesn’t matter.” Mina gave Edward a sweet smile before turning her attention to Baby John, who was trying to work his way off her lap. “No, you don’t, little man.”

  Hope enjoyed the moment. It was such a pleasure to have everyone together for the Saturday evening meal. She and Mercy had fixed a fine feast of roasted beef and gravy with potatoes and carrots. Added to this, Hope had baked several Chinook salmon Lance had caught and created a special concoction of mushrooms, spinach, and dried lemon zest to go with them. Rounding out the meal were deliciously scented yeast rolls, fresh butter, and three different kinds of pie.

  “My mouth is already watering,” Uncle Edward declared, taking his wife’s and eldest son’s hands. “Alex, I think you ought to bless this meal so we can dig in.”

  Everyone laughed and joined hands as Alex began to pray. “Father, we thank You for Your provision and blessings. We thank You that we can all come together under one roof to share in the love that is family. Bless this meal to our bodies, and bless the hands that prepared it. Amen.”

  “Amen!” ten-year-old Phillip declared, pulling his hand from Edward’s. “Can I have pie first?”

  Edward ruffled his son’s hair. “Spoken like a man after my own heart.”

  Everyone laughed at this and began to pass the platters and bowls around the table. Hope couldn’t remember ever being so happy. She had never really understood the importance of family until after the massacre. When she was young, her family had been more of an intrusion than anything else, but after all she’d come through, Hope could see how much she needed these people.

  After dinner, Hope and Lance settled in one of the front sitting rooms while the rest of the family lingered around the table.

  “I’m impressed,” Lance said, rubbing his stomach. “A wife who is both beautiful and a good cook. What more could a man ask for?”

  Hope smiled as he put an arm around her shoulders. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. I enjoyed making it. There’s a lot of satisfaction in preparing a meal that everyone likes.”

  “So now, about this wedding of ours . . .” Lance let the words trail off.

  Hope fixed him with a serious look. “What about it? I didn’t think men liked to discuss such things.”

  He shrugged and tightened his hold on her. “If it involves you, then I’m happy to discuss it. Besides, I know you’ve been making plans.”

  She nodded. “I have. Grace and Mercy are so excited. They want me to have a nice wedding at the church with a
special dress and a wedding breakfast afterward. The ladies of the church have all gotten involved too. In fact, I think the only person who isn’t excited is Clarence Ford.”

  Lance chuckled and shook his head. “A number of bachelors are grieving the loss of another single woman. The men outnumber the women by at least twenty to one out here.”

  “Well, it won’t be that way for long. In case you hadn’t noticed, another group of settlers arrived a week ago, and it seemed to me there were plenty of pretty girls.”

  He shook his head. “Nope, never noticed that at all. I’ve only got my eye on one pretty girl.”

  Hope settled back against him and marveled at their exchange. “You know, I can hardly believe that when I first met you, I was ready to commit murder. It seems like a hundred years ago.”

  “You scared me to death that day.”

  She laughed. “I scared myself.” She paused and shook her head. “But you didn’t seem afraid. You handled it like the professional soldier you were.”

  “That was my training kicking in, I suppose. I guess it wasn’t so much fear of you as for you. You put the fear of God into Tomahas.” Lance chuckled. “The look of terror in his eyes was a complete betrayal of his suggestion that you go ahead and shoot him.”

  “I didn’t think he was afraid. He just kept sneering at me, and I knew he wanted to hurt me. His hatred was what I saw, but if he was afraid, then I’m glad.” Once she’d said the words, she worried what he would think of her. It wasn’t a very kind or compassionate sentiment. “Does that shock you?”

  “No. I can’t say that I feel any differently. He took your peace of mind and had no regret for the ways he’d hurt you. Thankfully, you don’t have to worry about that anymore.”

  Hope sat up and turned to look Lance in the eye. “There are still a lot of problems with the Indians, Lance. As happy as I am to marry you, that issue is always in the back of my mind. Not like it used to be—I’m not bound up in fear or memories, but I am mindful of the situation.”

  He pulled her back against him. “I know. I heard them talking in town today about the new laws removing title to land from the Indians. It will make for hostilities, but we can’t live in fear about what might happen. It’s dangerous country, but we only need stay until we can secure passage on a ship.”

  “What?” Hope shot up again. “What are you saying?”

  “I thought I told you. I inherited my family’s plantation just outside of New Orleans. I kept on the manager after my father died and I joined the army, but my plan has always been to return.”

  Hope shook her head. “I knew you were a lawyer there and planned to return, but that was before . . . us. I didn’t know you owned property in New Orleans.”

  “You never asked,” he said in a teasing tone. “It’s a lovely place. I also own part of a shipping business.”

  “And you want us to live there?” Hope had never considered leaving her sisters. She could easily walk away from Oregon Territory, but leaving Grace and Mercy was an entirely different matter.

  His eyes narrowed slightly as he studied her. “You sound as if that is unappealing.”

  “I’ve never thought about it. When we left St. Louis to come west, I knew it would be a one-way trip. It’s far too expensive to return to St. Louis, and besides, we have no one there.”

  “I don’t have any other family to speak of in New Orleans either. There are some cousins in Mississippi, but I can’t remember the last time I saw them.”

  “I suppose the plantation has long been in your family.”

  “My grandfather purchased it in 1790. He passed it down to my father, and my father to me. We were all born there. In fact, we were all born in the same beautiful four-poster bed.” He gave her a wicked grin. “Maybe we can carry on that tradition with children of our own.”

  Hope’s feelings were completely jumbled. She hadn’t given much thought to where they would live after their wedding. There was a time when she would have gladly fled this territory without a second glance, but now things were different.

  “You seem troubled.”

  “I’ve just never thought about leaving.”

  “But I thought you hated it here. You told me you’d never feel completely safe here. Just a few minutes ago you said you’re still uneasy about the situation with the Indians.”

  She nodded. “I don’t know how to explain it. I suppose I have thought of leaving, but it never seemed a possibility. And Grace and Mercy are here.”

  “Well, now it is a possibility. It’s one thing I can give you to help you continue to heal. I’m glad to be able to take you away from a place that represents only pain and sorrow. I know we’ll be very happy . . . no matter where we go.”

  She nodded, barely hearing him. Her thoughts were consumed with how she could choose between the love she held for her sisters and the love she had for Lance Kenner. Why couldn’t life ever just be easy?

  Chapter

  25

  Besides planning her wedding to Lance, Hope now had the added concern of where they would live after they married. If they married. She hadn’t wanted to discuss the matter with anyone before now, but as she sat at the spinning wheel while Grace sewed baby clothes, Hope felt she had to speak.

  “I need your advice.”

  Grace looked up, surprised, and smiled. “Since when?” She went back to her stitching.

  “Since now. I have a dilemma.”

  Grace looked up again, and this time she frowned. “What’s wrong?”

  “Lance expects us to move back to his ancestral home outside of New Orleans. He inherited a plantation there. It’s been in the family since last century.” She stopped spinning and leaned back. “He wants to return there as soon as possible.”

  “Well, that comes as a surprise.”

  “I know. It’s completely overwhelmed me. I’ve never held any great love for this territory. In fact, there was a time when I wanted to leave here. I wasn’t sure where I wanted to go, but I knew it’d be anywhere but here. Now, however, I can’t imagine life without you and Mercy.” Hope shook her head. “You two and Uncle Edward are the only family I have left, and while I never thought that mattered much, I’ve come to see that it means a great deal to me.”

  “But Lance means a great deal too.”

  Hope nodded at her sister’s soft words. “He does. I can’t imagine my life without him either.” She sighed. “I don’t know what to do.”

  “Have you told him this?”

  “No. I mentioned never having considered leaving, but I didn’t explain further.”

  “Why not?” Grace’s expression was so full of concern that Hope had to look down.

  “I suppose because it was such a surprise, and I wanted time to think about it. We both agreed to pray about it, but I think Lance’s mind is made up.”

  “When I fell in love with Alex, I knew he would never want to leave this territory. He hates the city.” Grace smiled. “I think Oregon City is even too big for him at times. I can’t imagine him wanting to go back to New Orleans.”

  “Lance has an entire life planned there. He wants to pick back up with his legal practice and perhaps even become a judge one day. He wants to run his plantation, although I have no idea what that entails. He told me I would never want for anything.” Hope sighed. “I know he’s planning all this on my behalf. He knows I don’t feel safe here. I just don’t know if I can be a part of it.”

  “But you love him.”

  “I do, and that’s what makes this so difficult. I never thought I could love another man after Johnny—especially given what Tomahas did to me. I fully expected to spend my life alone and never marry. Then Lance came along, and everything changed. He was so easygoing, never demanding.” Hope got up from her chair and walked to the window. “I never really appreciated you and Mercy until these last few months. I always took you for granted—figuring you’d be in my life forever.”

  “Of course we will be, whether you’re here or in New
Orleans. We’ll always be a part of your life.”

  Hope turned to face Grace and leaned against the windowsill. “I know that, but it wouldn’t be the same. I want to be here to help you when it comes time for the baby. I want to continue working with the sheep. I want to see Mercy grow up and fall in love. I can’t do that from thousands of miles away.”

  “So are you going to tell Lance you can’t marry him?”

  The question was so matter-of-fact, so simple. Hope found it hard to believe that everything she’d considered and all of her misery could be summed up in one question.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Let’s call it a day, boys,” Edward Marsh announced. “I’ve already sent the rest of the crew home.”

  Alex and Lance looked up from the invoices and purchase orders for lumber they’d been going over. All week the new orders had been pouring in, most of them from California. Alex arranged the production and delivery to the ships, while Lance took care of the logistics required to ship the lumber all the way to San Francisco. Overseeing in this capacity was all Edward would allow Alex to do as he continued to recover.

  Alex pulled out his watch. “I didn’t realize it was so late. Grace will wonder what’s keeping me. Now that Mercy rides the horse to and from school each day, I don’t have that reminder to tell me the day is nearly over.”

  Edward laughed. “If I stay too much past six, Mina will send the boys to fetch me. I’ll see you fellas later. Be sure the fire’s out in the stove.”

  Lance stacked his papers and put them in the drawer. “Will do, Edward. Alex, you go on ahead. I can see to all of this.”

  Edward gave a wave and headed out, but Alex tarried. Lance wasn’t sure what was going on, but by the look on Alex’s face, it wasn’t good.

  “Is something wrong, Alex?”

  “I want a private word with you.”

  Lance nodded. “Go ahead.”

  “I’m not usually one to stick my nose in another man’s business, but I feel the need to speak to you about your future.”

  Lance was crossing the room to the stove but stopped and turned to face Alex. “My future?” He grinned. “What about it?”