Closer

by Kaia Bennett

  A reprieve from the constant hustle and bustle of life and work came in the form of a trip home with him over the weekend. The beginning of June snuck up on them and so did Gabriel's parents’ thirty-fifth wedding anniversary. Gabriel's dad wasn't big on celebrating things, but his mother was. Birthdays, holidays, church functions; they all kept her active and humming with productivity, and though Gabriel knew his parents had more of a begrudging pact than a marriage, he and his sister Olivia still went all out when it came to helping them celebrate their vows. It was almost as if having family and friends around gave life to the otherwise stale union.

  Nic took in the scenery and breathed in the fresher air as they left the city behind for Gabriel's upstate hometown. She was so excited and nervous about meeting his parents that it had taken twice as long to get ready, and in her nervousness her klutzy nature came out full force, causing her to bump into almost every piece of furniture in her apartment and almost break the present she got for Gabriel's mother. She'd finally settled on a modest butter yellow dress with spaghetti straps and a sash that tied in a bow on the side. She wore a comfortable pair of sandals, and put her hair up in a high ponytail so she wouldn't fidget with it if she got nervous. The first thing Gabe told her when he came to pick her up was that she looked beautiful. She wasn’t sure whether he was saying it because it was true or because she looked like she might start to hyperventilate with the need for reassurance.

  All along the drive, Gabriel pointed out the places he used to go, things that had changed, things that had stayed the same. It made her feel so special to get a glimpse of where he'd lived his life before she even knew he existed. Finally they reached his old neighborhood, his old street, and then his parents' house. Several cars were parked along the street and in the driveway, people milled about in the front yard. Out on the front porch was a blonde girl with a little boy on her hip. She gave a blond man a kiss and waved to him as he headed out with a couple of guys to one of the cars on the street. She found out when they stopped to greet Gabriel that two of them were his uncles and the other his brother-in-law. They hugged, mussed his hair, and did a few joking air guitars for good measure. He introduced Nicole, and she saw looks of slight shock and masculine approval circle the group as they shook her hand and greeted her warmly.

  Gabriel led her towards the porch and she smiled, turning to watch them over her shoulder as they went on their liquor run. "They seemed kind of shocked to see me. They're surprised you're dating a black girl, aren't they?" It wouldn't be the first time she garnered a few wide-eyed stares when meeting a boyfriend's family.

  Gabe just laughed and shook his head. "Nah, it's not that. I dated all kinds of girls growing up. They're just not used to me bringing someone home, that's all." He cleared his throat – his signature nervous tick.

  As soon as she heard it, Nicole realized meeting his family was an even bigger deal than she thought. She let it sink in, braving a glance up at him. The sweet, embarrassed smile he gave her made her melt, and it was all she could do not to wrap her arms around him and kiss him deeply.

  "Uncle Gabe!" she heard a child's voice squeal, and turned to see the blonde woman on the porch walking towards them with a smile on her face. The little boy on her hip reached out his arms to grab hold of Gabriel's neck.

  "Hey, Casey!" he said, his smile growing even wider as he took his nephew in his arms. He gave the little boy a big raspberry on his cheek that caused him to burst into a fit of writhing giggles. Then he turned to his sister, Olivia, and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

  Nicole was so struck by how sweet it was to see him holding the child in his arms and greeting his sister, she almost missed it when he said, "This is my girlfriend, Nicole. Nicole, this is the lesser-loved sibling."

  Nicole laughed and reached out her hand. "It's really nice to meet you, Olivia."

  "Nice to meet you, too! So glad you could make it, and you can call me Liv, everybody does." She ignored Nicole's hand so she could wrap her in a warm hug. "We've heard so much about you already; it's nice to finally see you in the flesh."

  She was about an inch or two taller than Nicole, and at first glance she looked nothing like Gabriel, but they had the same warm brown eyes, shared a slight indent in their chins. She noticed Gabriel's naturally affectionate and easygoing nature ran in the family, at least if his sister was any indication. Liv was like a condensed ray of sunshine. Her smile never faltered and her eyes sparkled with genuine kindness. It was easy to understand why Gabriel always spoke fondly of her.

  Nicole turned her attention to Liv's son and Gabriel who introduced him. "This is my man, Casey. You want to say 'hi' to Nicole for me, Casey?"

  Little Casey gave Nicole a sheepish smile, observing her out the corner of his eye from his hiding place within Gabe's shirt.

  "She won't bite, Casey," Liv coaxed, giving Nic a little wink. "Say 'hi' for mama."

  "Hi," he whispered, his brown eyes big as saucers.

  "Hi, Casey," Nicole said giving him a big, genuine smile and shaking one of his tiny hands. "It's nice to meet you."

  Gabe grinned and whispered loud enough for them all to hear. "She's real pretty, isn't she?"

  The little boy nodded and said, "Uh-huh."

  Nicole gave him a little pinch on his cheek, causing the kid to give her a big smile before giggling and turning his head away. She couldn’t help giggling herself and turning to Olivia. "Okay, he's so cute it's not even funny!"

  Liv just shook her head. "Don't let him fool you. He plays shy to bait ya. The next thing you know he's sitting in your lap, and you're feeding him grapes."

  "Yeah, he's a little heartbreaker in training," Gabe said. "Just like his uncle. Aren't ya? Aren't ya a heartbreaker, little man!?"

  Casey succumbed to a tickle attack that had his mother laughing and Nicole melting. "Okay! Hand him over before you spoil him even more. Mom and Dad are waiting to meet your girlfriend," Liv said with a chuckle, holding her arms open so Gabe could hand Casey over.

  They headed into the house, which was filled with light from the open windows and had a faint citrus aroma Nicole liked. Grownups and children were gathered around the quaint, inviting living room, while they nibbled on snacks. She saw people in the kitchen, people outside on the patio through the glass windows. It wasn't a lot, but then this was just Gabriel's immediate and close extended family. She swallowed down her nervousness, and prepared to meet his parents.

  His mother greeted her with the same warm nature Liv had, and his father gave her a nice firm handshake and what she guessed was his attempt at a welcoming smile. It was then painfully apparent where Gabe got some of his softer features. That glossy dark hair, and tilted nose, the fullness of his mouth and the coffee tan skin were all courtesy of his Italian-American mother. He inherited his height and build from his Scottish-American father, his dark expressive eyes, and the cleft in his chin, though his father’s hair was a more sandy-colored brown and his skin was lighter by comparison.

  Meeting his parents went well and the rest of the afternoon flew by quickly and without any major faux pas on her part, which had a lot to do with the Gabriel's soothing presence. His fingers rested softly on her hip the whole time, calming her whenever she talked more animatedly than usual, or bumped into a piece of furniture. When no one was paying attention, he would give her a sweet kiss on the cheek and tell her she was doing great and that they loved her.

  She knew he wasn't paying her lip service either. They seemed to like her well enough as she told them about herself, and her aspirations for the future. And they’d loved their respective presents. It hit her hard at that moment just how important this was to her, how much she wanted to be a part of his life in a real way, and how much she loved him. This was his family, the place he'd come from, and he'd been willing to share it with her.

  He'd wanted his family to meet her, even if he didn't always agree with them or the way they treated important parts of his life. She was important to him, real to him, and she felt
it every time he looked at her and gave her a reassuring smile. It warmed something so deep within her that she knew –just knew in that moment – she wanted this with him one day. She wanted a family, a child wrapping his arms around Gabriel's neck the way his nephew had. She wanted to see him grow older, have a home with him, and all the people they loved gathered around them to celebrate the little things in life. It scared the living fuck out of her how much she wanted that one day, just like realizing she was utterly, hopelessly in love with him.

  God only knew if he felt the same way, if she was crazy for thinking these thoughts about a guy who wanted to make his living traveling the world and making music. Women wouldn't stop throwing themselves at him just because he was with her. The things that scared her wouldn't disappear just because he wanted to be with her. But in moments like these, she knew she could get through it, as long as he wanted it too.

  ***

  After an emotionally draining but relatively quick celebration, they said their goodbyes and hopped into the car to head home. The sun had started its descent and they were in a good mood, the radio blaring. Spring flowed through the open windows. Nicole was ridiculously giddy and couldn't stop touching Gabriel. She ran her fingers through his hair and listened as he sang along to the music. He rarely sang outside of work. He didn't like to show off, but today he was in too good of a mood.

  His family had loved Nicole, even his gruff, he-man father. Gabe had almost pissed himself when his father gave Nicole a brief hug before they left. He wasn't the affectionate type, and his father had made it clear after the break up with Marta that he didn't think Gabe was making a lot of good decisions concerning his life. His father may not have completely agreed with Gabriel's choices in life, but it was plain to see that Gabriel was happy. And Gabe could see that even if his choice of career wasn’t accepted, his choice in a girlfriend had been.

  Since it was on the way home, and since Gabriel was in such a good mood, he decided to make one more stop before they headed back to the city. It was funny how familiar the road was, how the dirt path was still there when he turned and drove into the woods. It took him all the way to the clearing at the top of a hill that overlooked the town. It always reminded him of those lovers’ lane images he'd seen in movies. It had been his favorite place growing up; the place he went when he just wanted to get away from people for a while, and he wanted to share it with Nicole. They parked, grabbed a blanket he kept in his trunk, and then he took her hand and led her to a spot under the largest tree in the clearing.

  Nicole snuggled into the fold of his arms, her back leaning against his chest while they stared out at the view. The streetlights below lit up. Headlights and brake lights blinked, and porch lights came on several houses at a time. It was calming to watch all the hustle below from such a quiet spot. They had front row seats to the sunset, and with Nicole relaxed against his body, Gabriel breathed in the fresh air and felt at peace.

  "Thank you for taking me to see your family," she said after a long, comfortable silence. "They were all so nice."

  "Thanks for coming with me. It was more fun with you there." His voice was a quiet rumble against her temple, her skin soft against his lips when he gave her a quick kiss.

  She smiled and then seemed to measure her next words. "I know you said that your parents didn't really get along... but they seemed to be happy. Was I wrong?"

  Gabriel shrugged. "They tolerate each other, if that's what you mean. Especially when company is present. But that's about it. They barely talk, stick to their own schedules. It's easy to get along if you have nothing to argue about. And it's easy not to argue if you have nothing to say," he said with another shrug. "It has its own kind of twisted logic, I guess."

  Nicole nodded, turning back to the scenery for a quiet moment.

  "Well, they could be like my parents. Those two never shut up," she said with a laugh. "They felt like you had to talk out everything and always be on the same page. Which is fine, don't get me wrong. But sometimes you feel like you're being smothered, like you have to fill up the quiet spaces in order for things to feel normal." She winced and turned to him. "Does that make sense?"

  He nodded. "Yeah. Makes perfect sense. Kind of funny if you think about. My parents don't talk at all; yours talk too much."

  Nicole laughed, twining her fingers through his. "That means we're destined to be the perfect couple, huh?"

  He went silent for a moment. She’d just compared them to their parents, two couples that had been married for decades. He could literally feel the moment she realized this too. She went from pliant in his arms to rigid as a log. He wondered if her head was spinning. Knowing her, she was wondering if she'd just scared him and was thinking of something glib to say to take away the heaviness of her permanent-sounding decree. Levity had always made things easier for them.

  "Perfect couple,” he said softly. “Yeah, I think so."

  And then, even softer, his lips pressed right against her ear, he whispered, "That must be why I'm so in love with you."

  It took a second for his words to register, for him to understand he’d actually spoken them aloud and she’d actually heard them. She was perfectly still. Not breathing. He’d never been more painfully aware of the world around him and the feelings flooding his body.

  He was dying. She still hadn't said anything. She hadn't moved. He'd told himself he was saying it just for him, just so she would know. All that planning, all that bullshit about waiting for the right time had flown out of the window a moment ago when she said what he believed anyway. She was perfect for him. He loved her so much it fucking hurt. In that moment he couldn't wait and all his prepared words had been forgotten. He hadn't told her she didn't have to say it back if she wasn't ready, the way he'd planned. But he wished she would fucking say something. Anything! He swallowed hard, cleared his throat.

  "What did you say?"

  Her voice was so quiet, he almost didn't hear her. Though his throat felt constricted, and his body felt like it was starting to shake, he pressed on.

  "I'm... I-I'm in love with you, Nicole. I love you."

  The look on her face when she turned in his arms to stare into his eyes stole his breath. She looked shocked, or scared. Her eyes were wide and glassy. She seemed to blink in slow motion; those dark lashes fanning up and down were the only thing between him and the power of her gaze. She had one hand on his knee, the other lying limply in her lap. She rested on her knees between his legs while he leaned back against the tree trunk, waiting anxiously for her to say something.

  Finally, when he thought he'd die if she was silent one more second, he said, "You don't have to say—"

  "I love you, too," she whispered. The smile she gave him was little more than an upward turn at the corners of her lips, and she looked as if she were still in a daze. "I love you, too, Gabriel. I always have..."

  There were no more words, but what they lacked in sound they made up for in movement. Nicole leaned in, resting her hand on his chest, over his heart. Gabriel sat up and gently took her face in his hands, bringing his face closer to hers. He realized just before his lips touched hers that he was grinning. And when their lips met, he sighed his relief into her waiting mouth.

  Nicole felt his heart beating fast under her palm, and she felt her own beating to match it. Her kiss grew hungrier, deeper. Her hands slid up his chest, up his neck and her fingers curled in his soft hair. She wanted to halt the kiss, to ask him to say those words again. But she couldn't stop. She never wanted this feeling to end. When he drew back and came up for air she whispered, "No... don't stop," and pulled him back to her. She kissed him deeper, moaned against his lips when he wrapped his arms around her. Distantly she heard him chuckle and whisper her name between their feverish kisses.

  "Sweetheart..."

  It was a subtle warning that what she was doing was going to quickly escalate if she didn't ease up. But she didn’t want to ease up. He'd really said it. He really felt the same way.

 
She pulled away and stared into his eyes, trying to memorize this moment and hold onto it for as long as possible. She stroked his face reverently, retracing all her favorite lines, and smiling when she saw him swallow as his eyes stared back into hers. That look, the one he had given her so many times before, all that warmth in his eyes; she knew what it meant now. There was no mystery, no doubt. This was what it looked like to be loved by him. His thumb caressed her cheek softly, and she closed her eyes, trying so hard not to cry and failing.

  His thumb swiped away the tear that had escaped. He’d never seen her cry before. So many boys before him had summoned her tears, but none of them had done so out of pure happiness. He loved her, everything about her. And she loved him. All of him.

  "Say it again, Gabriel," she whispered and tilted her face to nuzzle her cheek in his palm.

  He smiled. His voice actually cracked. "I love you, Nic."

  She grinned and let out a little laugh of disbelief, tears flowing freely now. Again her lips found his, her body melted into his, and this time he didn't hold back. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, pushing her backwards onto the cloth covering the earth beneath them.

  She couldn't get enough of his kiss, couldn't get enough of the heat of his body and the glow his words cast over her. His hands were on her face; his hips settled over hers. When he moved his lips to her neck, she opened her eyes, and above her was the sky painted in the colors of the setting sun, the clouds, the soft pinks, oranges, and violets all slowly rolling away to make room for night. It filtered through the leaves above her, and the bright orange light penetrated her closed lids when the feel of his lips and tongue on her skin became too good to bear. Her body arched into his, her legs lifted and her dress fluttered around the tops of her thighs. Her body was on fire, her breasts pulsing with arousal under his hands.