Closer
Page 28
The embrace was so comfortable. But it hurt, too. As soon as he touched her, as soon as he felt her body against his, he knew she was right. And he knew he was so very wrong.
Some things never did change.
Then the moment was gone, if only because Ian had mercifully ventured outside to sweep up the glass and announced his presence by loudly clearing his throat. Gabe lifted his head, watched her look at Ian over her shoulder with a chuckle. Then she turned back to him and rolled her eyes. He gave her an answering smirk that he hoped said something like, This isn’t breaking my heart at all. He wasn’t sure that he was being convincing. When she released his shoulders and stepped back a bit, his hands lingered for a second before falling away from the curve of her hips. Distance again. A blessing and a curse.
"How ya been, babe?" she whispered. He saw the second she realized what she’d said. That old endearment stung like a whip snapping and it was probably written all over his face how much he missed hearing it.
"Great," he said, stuffing his fists back in his jeans pockets. "Really great. How about you?"
She shrugged a shoulder and gave him a crooked grin. "Well, I'm a published author now. Or, at least I will be once the book gets out there on shelves."
The excitement on her face was infectious. He found himself smiling so hard his cheeks hurt. "Yeah, I know, Jackie told me and I told her I want the first copy. I knew you could do it, sweetheart..."
Her eyes wavered a bit as soon as he called her ‘sweetheart’. So did his smile. He should have remembered to be careful. He should have been used to the idea that this was what they were now. Familiar strangers. But that was feeling more and more like a lie. It was starting to feel like all the time apart was an illusion. All the time apart was a horrible nightmare, and this was when he would wake up. Any minute now they would all start laughing and the rouse would be ended. He would wrap his arms around her and walk her into the house, whispering in her ear all the things they would do when they got alone, just like he used to. Any moment now he would touch her and not hold back. She would touch him and not pull away.
Maybe he could dismiss it if he chalked it all up to sex and chemistry. They'd never denied they had plenty of that to spare. Maybe if it weren't for that happy accident on his bed years ago, he never would have found out how much. Times like this he wished he'd never discovered how much she'd wanted him once upon a time. Maybe he wouldn't realize so painfully what was missing, what he'd lost, how addicted he used to be to her desire and love for him.
Used to. That was the important part. He'd moved on. So had she. Yet, still, something like this could remain. Must be like a star, when the light has burned out for years past, yet the glow remained, teasing fallible human eyes from a distance. Even Jackie and Ian could see it. Everyone would probably be able to see it.
It didn't mean it wasn't still dead. It didn't mean they weren't going to let it stay that way.
"All done. Perfectly safe now," Ian said. He nodded to Nicole and Gabriel. Nicole was the first to disengage from their sad little stare down, gingerly taking the steps before walking into the house and becoming a soft silhouette against the shadowy glow of the entranceway.
"C'mon on in, man," Ian said, giving him what could only be a world of unspoken support and understanding when he patted him on the back and ushered him into his home.
Nicole licked her lips, stepped inside and out of sight of him, moving quickly towards the bathroom. Her legs were weighed down, like sandbags were wrapped around her wobbly ankles.
It was like she'd borrowed this body and had forgotten what it was full of, the potential hidden within her skin and running through her veins. Then he showed up again and it was like waking up from a dream. Like remembering what your limbs, your heart, your breath was for.
She rushed inside, closed the door and leaned her back against it, forcing herself to catch her breath. Her thighs tightened and she felt the telltale slickness that always accompanied his presence. She wrapped her arms around her waist, touched the curve of her hips where his fingers had so brazenly ignited her body's responses. Her breasts were still tingling from being pressed against the warm expanse of his defined chest. He smelled unmistakably like him, like the soap he used and that masculine scent underneath that reminded her what his sweat tasted like, what his skin felt like under the blunt edges of her teeth when she needed more than just a taste.
It was so wrong that he should look so good, like the most beautiful and familiar stranger, and she literally suppressed a shiver recalling the sight of him. His hair had grown some, falling down to his neck and into his eyes, dark and glossy under the afternoon sun. Her fingers twitched remembering how soft it had been under her fingertips when she slid her arms around his neck.
Under the sweep of his hair that molten chocolate gaze had made her catch fire. She’d been forced to look away and her eyes had followed the trail of his straight, upturned nose to his full mouth, and then further to that soft indent in his chin.
She’d wanted so badly to stop staring. She knew she must have looked like a deer in headlights. A deer that was caught devouring the sight of him in his button down white shirt, light blue jeans and boots. His only other adornment, other than that coffee tan skin and those full pink lips that made her lick her own, was a brown leather cuff on his right wrist, and that familiar necklace around his neck. Visions of her running her fingers over the fading black cord assaulted her senses. It had been a long time since she'd run her fingers over his neck, over his shoulders, his arms. Her fingers has actually caught in his shirt, her mind forcing them not to continue exploring the hard planes of a body that had once been hers to touch. He’d been hers, and she’d been his…
God, she didn't want to go in there. She thought she was over this. In a slight panic she remembered his eyes on her. There was a time when she would have died to have him look at her like she was something special. Now she wished that magic would fade away. It made her wonder what she'd looked like when her eyes had met his. She ran to the mirror.
She looked half spooked, half ravenous. Wide eyed. Breathless. Lips parted. Chest heaving.
Fuck!
She might as well say, “Take me! Take me now, big boy!" It would be less obvious than her pathetic attempts to hide what she was thinking and feeling. She'd never been able to hide things well, not from him. He must have seen everything. He could probably smell her lust coming off of her in waves.
This couldn't be happening. No, scratch that; she wasn't going to let this happen. She had a guy waiting for her out there, someone that had helped her heal when this feeling and all the love that got tangled up in it hadn't been enough save her from a broken heart. He was going to pick her up in a few hours for fucks sake.
Travis. A different man entirely. Black hair to Gabe's dark brown. Blue eyes to his molten chocolate. Deep animated voice to Gabe's raspy rumble... a rumble that still sent quivers over her skin...
"Ugh, get it together already," she whispered, almost desperately. "You're so over this."
Liar.
One little word, whispered in the back of her mind was enough to make her start drowning in her own fears.
What if she wasn't healed up from this? What if she never was going to be?
It didn't get any better when she forced herself to calm down, put on a brave face, and left the bathroom after practicing enough fake smiles to make a beauty pageant contestant wince. It didn't get any better as conversation picked up speed and Ian asked Gabe to be his best man at his wedding. It didn't get any better when he graciously accepted, and promised to be there no matter what, especially since his schedule dictated he'd be in town until the spring.
And it didn't get any better when Gabriel asked her more about what was going on with her.
How did she say something like this and not make it sound like she was trying to gloat or hurt him? Hell, who was she to think that's how he'd feel about her moving in with her boyfriend anyway? He'd had plenty of t
ime to get over her. He had a life of his own to worry about.
"Well, I'm moving into a new place," she said softly, tucking one leg beneath her on the couch, while gripping the other one to her chest like a security blanket.
"Oh, yeah?" Gabriel said, pulling her out of her nervousness with a lopsided grin. He seemed genuinely happy for her, just like he had about her book. "No more Mrs. Habberdash, huh?"
She laughed at that. The laughter should have put her at ease, but she felt Jackie's eyes on her like a laser over Preston's head, and could see Ian busying himself with sipping his drink. Maybe she should take a cue from her sister and be blunt and brief. Real friends were real with each other, and that’s what they’d agreed to be. This was really no big deal.
"Yeah, I'm moving in with Travis," she said in a clear, crisp voice. "By the end of this week, actually. Pretty exciting..."
Her ability to speak, to smile at him, vanished.
The look on his face. The quiet shock. The way he cleared his throat before smiling broadly. That smile was beautifully tragic. It wavered around the edges, then pulled taut like his body language. It didn't reach his eyes, and in that moment she wished she didn't know him so well. She could read him as easily as he must be able to read her. Maybe if she hadn't been looking for it, she might not have noticed at all. But she had. She'd seen everything he tried to cover up and more.
"H-he, um... can't stand her either," she stammered out. "Mrs. Habberdash, I mean. Travis can't... And it was time you know? To get a new place, take the next step."
"Wow. Big step," he whooshed out. He cleared his throat again and said, "Congratulations, Nicole. I'm really happy for you."
Liar.
Her mind kept whispering it. This time she wasn't sure who it was condemning. Was it him, for saying he was cool with her leap into the future with another man? Or was it her, for believing she'd completely left her feelings for this one in the past?
***
OTHER BOOKS BY KAIA BENNETT
Sunday (standalone)
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The Fifth Day (novella)
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#1 Crush (Loose Ends Series, book 1)
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Closer (Loose Ends Series, book 2)
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COMING SOON:
Mind Over Matter (Loose Ends Series, book 3)
ABOUT KAIA BENNETT
Kaia Bennett is a New Jersey native, college graduate and U.S. Army veteran who loves music, movies, astrology, tattoos, martial arts, animals and, of course, the written word. She heard the siren call of the writer as a teenage girl, but took her sweet time answering it until she had lived and loved enough to share her work with the masses.
She is an erotic author who loves to write stories with depth, realism and viscerally hot encounters that flirt shamelessly with the taboo. A lover of all genres and a voracious reader, she aims to write stories that are transformative for her characters and readers alike.
Kaia can be reached at kaiabennett.author@gmail.com
To find out more about Kaia go to:
kaiabennett.com
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