Her Keeper

by Rianna Campbell

  “Okay. But I’m right upstairs if you change your mind.”

  Angel cleared away the wine glasses and the bottle and made her way upstairs to her bedroom, while Amanda sat staring into space.

  She sat in the dark trying to put the pieces of the evening back together in some way that made sense. What had been the point of everything Parker had said if he wasn’t going to follow through? That was as far from a casual conversation as you could get, but when push had come to shove, he'd walked away. Again.

  And she hadn’t exactly thrown herself into his arms and yelled, “take me now,” but she hadn’t done anything to push him away either. She’d even given him the perfect opening to make a move, but if anything, it seemed to trigger his retreat.

  Men make no fucking sense.

  Moving to the couch, Amanda draped the blanket over her bare legs and turned on the TV. This is exactly what she’d wanted for her evening, a comfy couch and some comfort TV, but the way she’d gotten here had been a bumpy road.

  She skimmed Netflix until she came across one of her favorite shows. She started the first episode and closed her eyes, trying to let the dulcet tones of Sir Patrick Stewart lull her to sleep.

  She’d been known to fall asleep under all sorts of ridiculous circumstances. She once slept through a fire alarm in her dorm room. It hadn’t been a drill, either. The fire department had come to put out a small fire in the first-floor kitchen. Her RA had pounded on the door for a solid two minutes before she woke up.

  Special talent notwithstanding, Amanda’s mind was far too busy to let her sleep. Figures, the one thing she wanted, was the one thing she couldn’t get. She was, unfortunately, beginning to see a pattern, and she didn’t like it. At all.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  “You were particularly enthusiastic this morning,” Trey said with a smile and a slap on the back.

  After a shitty night’s sleep, a quick trip home to change, and the largest cup of coffee she could find, Amanda had only been ten minutes late for her session with her personal trainer. But once she’d gotten the gloves on, she hadn’t wasted any time trying to put a hole in the heavy bag and take the head off the training dummy. She had aggression in spades this morning and it needed an outlet.

  As much as she’d wanted to hunt down a certain boneheaded bodyguard and take it out on him, she’d come to the conclusion that, for one, she wouldn’t win that fight, and two, she refused to give him the time of day.

  As it turned out, the prevailing emotion she’d experienced in the clear light of day was a burning rage. She was angry at him, but even more angry with herself. It had come to her sometime in the wee hours of the morning that the only way she could explain his bizarre behavior was if he’d been taking another stab at trying to scare her away. For her own good, no doubt.

  Condescending, self-righteous, arrogant, mother-

  There was no other satisfactory explanation and it fit perfectly with how he’d behaved the first time they’d run into each other at Elysium. And if she hadn’t been so damn distracted by the way he looked and smelled and- no. She wasn’t going down that road ever again. The fact of the matter was, she should have known better. She should have seen through it and called him on his bullshit.

  Instead, she’d turned to goo like some… girl. So her conclusion was that he was definitely an ass, but so was she. And a stupid ass at that. But no more. No more Elysium, no more chasing what she couldn’t have, and no more Parker Hanson.

  “Amanda?”

  “Sorry, what?”

  “I asked you when your sister is going to get her affianced ass back into my dungeon and get back to training.”

  “Can’t help you with that, buddy,” Amanda said with a smirk. “She’s all bright and shiny in love now. There’s no talking to her anymore.”

  “Do I sense some sour grapes there, kiddo?” Trey asked, raising an eyebrow.

  “Of course not.”

  Trey’s brows furrowed and he looked at her through narrowed lids. His dark brown eyes always seemed to be looking right through you. For someone whose job revolved around physical health, he had a knack for knowing when you weren’t in the right headspace.

  “Fine, maybe a little,” Amanda said with a roll of her eyes. “I mean I’m happy for her. She deserves to be happy.”

  “She does,” Trey said, nodding gravely. He didn’t know the whole story of everything that Alexandra had been through, but he’d been there to help her build her confidence back up in the aftermath. He’d seen her struggle through it, even though he didn’t know exactly what “it” was.

  “I just… I don’t know. I can’t help thinking she’s the exception and not the rule.”

  “Ah,” Trey said with a sigh. “I got you.”

  “I might be a little- a little… jealous,” Amanda admitted.

  “Don’t worry, kiddo, you’ll get yours.”

  “Oh, yeah? You sure about that?” Amanda laughed bitterly. “Because I’m not. Not anymore.”

  “Is there some little prick out there that I need to run into on the street?” Trey asked, his eyes going dark.

  “No. I mean, yes, but no,” Amanda replied. “Thanks to my personal trainer, if hands need to be thrown, I can do it myself.”

  “That’s the spirit,” Trey said with a wink.

  “Next week?” she asked as she picked up her bag.

  “You’re kidding, right?” Trey gave her a skeptical look.

  “I know, I know,” she said with a laugh. “If I don’t show you’ll come find me.”

  “Damn straight.” Trey gave her a wide smile that lit up his entire face. She realized yet again how handsome Trey was. Smooth, dark brown skin, white teeth, long lashes- not to mention he was tall, muscular, and had a wicked sense of humor.

  “You know, Trey,” Amanda said with a mischievous grin. “Your wife is a lucky woman.”

  “Nah, I’m the one who got lucky. Who else is going to put up with me?”

  “I think you’d be surprised.” Amanda winked as she made her way out the door.

  In the locker room, she hopped in the shower and stood under the hot spray, and let it wash over her. She felt the angry fog finally lifting and she took a deep breath and let it out slowly, promising herself she was going to put all of this in the past and move forward.

  Finally feeling more like herself, she dried off, got dressed, and dug her phone out of her bag to check the time. She was working at noon and she wanted to make sure she had time to go home and get something to eat before she had to head in.

  When she unlocked her phone she noticed two missed calls. One was from Alexandra, the other was from Colin.

  She hadn’t spoken to him since the night she’d gone with him to Elysium. She’d texted him that she wasn’t feeling well and was going home and he’d said he was sorry and hoped she felt better soon.

  She was kind of hoping it would end there, especially since she hadn’t heard another word from him in the week since. Apparently not. And wasn’t that just the icing on the cake?

  She was going to have to step up and have a serious talk with him about where things were going, or not going as the case may be. She didn’t want to lead him on, and apparently, the subtler hints she’d dropped weren’t going to get the job done.

  But she’d deal with that later.

  She called Alexandra back as she packed up her things and headed for the door, dodging gym-goers as she went.

  “Hey!” Alexandra answered on the second ring. “What happened last night?”

  “What do you mean?” Amanda asked, trying not to panic.

  Was it possible it had already gotten back to Alexandra? Would Ian have said something? Or did Parker decide to go to Connor after she’d ignored his first warning?

  That didn’t feel right, but clearly, Alexandra had heard something.

  “Mom called me this morning. She said you called her late last night asking to stay with her. What happened?”

  Amanda sighed quietly in
relief.

  “I told you when I called you yesterday that I was being sexiled from my apartment. I went out but I wasn’t feeling it and just wanted to find someplace to crash. Did she happen to mention why she wasn’t home when I called?”

  Amanda still didn’t want to think about that, but she needed some kind of distraction before Alexandra started asking questions she didn’t have answers to.

  “Yeah. She said she was staying at a friend’s because she’d had too much wine at dinner,” Alexandra explained, though she didn’t sound convinced.

  “And that didn’t strike you as weird? Why didn’t she just take a cab? And which friend was she having dinner with?”

  “It does sound a little strange, but why would she lie about something like that?”

  “Think about it for a second,” Amanda said with a roll of her eyes.

  “Umm… oh! Oh, eww!”

  Amanda would have laughed at her reaction if she wasn’t feeling the same way. She really didn’t want to think about her mom getting her groove back. And she certainly didn’t want a step-dad at twenty-seven.

  Childish? Maybe. But she didn’t think it was too much to ask for her parents to just remain celibate for the rest of their natural lives. Or at the very least, sneak around behind their backs so that they never found out about it. It was only fair, really. She’d done the same when she was a teenager. It was their turn, dammit.

  “Anyway…” Alexandra said. “Where did you end up staying?”

  “With Angel.”

  “Well, now I feel bad. You could have called me.”

  “You were busy and after talking to mom I really didn’t want to hear about your sex life, even in a vague, metaphorical way.”

  “I mean… it’s not like I would have answered the phone right in the middle or anything.”

  “Another reason why I didn’t call. I didn’t want to interrupt anything.”

  “Well, next time just call anyway, okay?” Alexandra scolded.

  “Listen, I’m a big girl. I can figure things out on my own. Worst case scenario, I would have just gone home and to hell with Ricky Bobby’s sex life.”

  “Which one?”

  “Either. Both. I don’t care,” Amanda said with a shrug.

  “Well, I’m sorry you had a rough night.”

  Oh, you have no idea.

  ✽✽✽

  “Dude, are you going to just sit there all day?”

  “Fuck off.”

  Parker had been up for hours, even though he’d gone to bed well past four in the morning. He hadn’t been able to sleep for days, even with the pills. He’d replayed every moment with Amanda over and over again, trying to figure out what the hell he was going to do.

  If Connor heard about this he’d be lucky if the only thing he lost was his job. Either way, it wouldn’t be any more than he deserved. He’d acted like a perfect ass. No, not just an ass, he’d acted like his father.

  What kind of man was he if he’d made a woman feel uncomfortable to the point of tears? Whether it was intentional or not, he felt like he needed to bathe in bleach, or maybe scrub down with some steel wool to try to get rid of how shitty he felt.

  When Jackson had finally crawled out of bed and trudged to the kitchen for coffee, Parker was relieved to have a reason to step out of his own head. Except Jackson wanted none of it. He was going through his own shit at the moment, but Parker desperately needed his best friend today.

  Even if he couldn’t tell him everything, or anything that happened, he at least needed something to remind him that he wasn’t a total waste of space.

  Or maybe he was. After all, that’s what his father had always told him.

  No. He wasn’t going back there. Not now.

  “You want to go get breakfast?” Parker asked, knowing if there was one thing that could tempt Jackson out of the apartment it might be food. “I’ll buy.”

  Jackson studied him over the rim of his coffee mug. He had dark circles under his eyes and he hadn’t shaved in at least a week. He looked like hell.

  “Pancakes?” Jackson asked.

  “Sure, man. Whatever you want.”

  “Alright,” Jackson grunted. He made his way back to his room, drinking his coffee on the way.

  Twenty minutes later they were heading out to their favorite diner in sullen silence. Each lost in their own thoughts, the only sound in the car was the classic rock station that Jackson continually played in his car.

  At least it wasn't country. They’d had that argument a long time ago and had to agree to disagree. Jackson, a dyed in the wool Texan, was more selective than most, but Parker couldn’t stand the stuff.

  Bluegrass, maybe, if it was good. Country? Nope. Most people might not see a difference, but he did.

  Seated in their favorite booth at the diner the conversation continued to stall. This was not turning out to be the distraction Parker had been looking for. Every topic seemed to be off the table at the moment. Parker didn’t want to talk about work, Jackson didn’t want to talk about Janie, and neither had much else going on in their lives.

  They couldn’t even talk about sports, really. Parker was a baseball fan who’d made his annual fantasy league a religion of sorts, whereas Jackson was a football fan. He never missed a Cowboys game if he could help it and he was a lifelong devotee of the Longhorns.

  Neither liked soccer or hockey or basketball, so that pretty much ruled out any sports-related topics.

  “You’re quiet,” Jackson finally said after he’d ordered his pancakes with an extra side of bacon.

  “Look who’s talking.” Parker sipped his black coffee from a chipped mug.

  “Yeah, but I have a reason.”

  “You want me to talk your ear off? I can if you want.”

  “Nah, I’m good,” Jackson replied, turning to look out the picture window at the weekend crowds going up and down the sidewalk. “We’re good though, right?”

  “Yeah, man. We’re cool,” Parker replied, focusing on the scarred tabletop.

  “Good. I’d hate to have fucked that up too,” Jackson said with a bitter laugh.

  “Nah, man. You know me. You’re stuck with me until one of us is six feet under,” Parker assured him. He meant every word of it too. He owed Jackson more than he could ever say. He’d gotten up every day for eight years ready to go out there and put himself between Jackson and bullet if he had to.

  He would have done whatever he needed to, whatever he could, to make sure that Jackson got home to the family that loved him, the family he’d done everything for. Parker was just one person. He didn’t have a family who would have missed him or grieved his loss.

  When he said friends until the end, Parker meant it with every fiber of his being.

  “You good?” Jackson asked after a moment and Parker couldn’t help but smile. Even at his lowest, suffering one of the worst heartbreaks of his life, he was still worried about Parker. Still looking out for him.

  “Not really,” Parker shrugged. “But don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

  “That’s what you always say,” Jackson said with a shake of his head. “You could be buried up to the neck in the desert at high noon, covered in honey and facing down a swarm of fire ants and you’d still insist you were fine.”

  “What can I say, I’m just cool like that,” Parker said with a grin. And here he was, torn up over what he’d done to Amanda, being eaten up by guilt, and he was still trying to make sure Jackson didn’t worry about him. What a pair the two of them made.

  Dumber than a box of rocks and twice as thick, as Hank would say.

  Jackson’s dad had been the kind of man every boy should have in his life. He’d taught them everything from tying flies to changing tires. And he was always proud of them, no matter how lopsided the flies came out.

  And he’d been gone for more than a decade, whereas Parker’s sperm donor was presumably still out there somewhere contaminating the world around him. If he ever needed proof that life was unfair
, that was certainly enough.

  He felt a buzz in the pocket of his sweats and pulled out his phone. Another unknown caller. No, not another one, the same one that had been calling him for the last two weeks. They never left a voicemail and he didn’t recognize the number.

  “I called her,” Jackson said quietly, focusing on the coffee cup cradled in his hands. “I called, just to tell her… hell, I don’t know. She didn’t answer so I left a message. She hasn’t called me back.”

  Jackson had opened up just enough to tell Parker what had happened in a nutshell. Parker had told him he was an idiot and that had more or less been the end of it. Parker hadn’t wanted to bring it up, but he was glad Jackson was talking about it some.

  “She’s got a lot on her plate right now,” Parker said with a shrug.

  “I know. I just…” Jackson sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face. “I miss her. And this is just a mess”

  “I know, man.” And he did. Things with Amanda weren’t just a mess, they were a clusterfuck of epic proportions. And he knew he wasn’t going to get a chance to see her again before Alexandra and Connor’s wedding, and that was the last place he wanted to have the kind of conversation that they needed to have.

  Like it or not he was going to have to explain himself and hope that she could understand. Forgiveness was something he wouldn’t even ask for, but he needed her to know that he would never hurt her. Ever.

  The idea that she’d been scared of him was eating him alive. He never, ever wanted any woman to be afraid of him, but especially not her. He was going to have to find a way to see her. He needed to do whatever he could to fix things.

  They ate their pancakes and bacon and drank too many cups of coffee, all with very little conversation. But just sitting with Jackson took some of the pressure off. Jackson had always had a way of calming him and keeping him grounded. No talking required.

  On the way back to their apartment, Parker came to a decision. He would wait until the weekend to see if she’d show at Elysium again, even though he knew she wouldn’t. After that, he’d have to think of something.