Her Keeper

by Rianna Campbell

  “I’m sure they wanted to, Parker. Maria loved you. She still does.”

  His breath hitched and he turned away, running both hands through his hair.

  “Doesn’t matter. I figured Jackson had people, you know? People that would miss him. People that would care if something happened to him. So when he said he was signing up, all I could think was that if he didn’t come home…” Parker let the sentence trail off.

  “Oh, God. You went to keep him safe. To make sure he came home,” Amanda whispered, the tears she’d been holding back breaking free and streaming down her face.

  “I thought… They needed him, you know? Nobody needed me. If I could make sure he made it home, at least then I would have done… something. Something good.”

  “You would have died for him?” she asked, terrified at the thought of a world without him in it.

  “Not would have,” he said quietly, looking away. “Wanted to.”

  “Parker,” Amanda sobbed, throwing her arms around him. “I’m so sorry.”

  As if the gravity in the room had suddenly doubled, she and Parker sank down to their knees.

  “I knew I didn’t deserve you, but I just couldn’t stay away.” He held her tight, burying his face in her neck. He was breathing fast and hard, his whole body shaking.

  When his breathing had calmed and his grip had relaxed a little, she leaned away, taking his face in her hands.

  “I can’t tell you how sorry I am that you had to grow up like that. But I am so proud of the man you’ve become. You are sweet,” she said, kissing his forehead. “And smart.” She kissed his left cheek. “And so incredibly strong.” She kissed his right cheek. “And you deserved so much better.”

  She kissed him softly on the mouth, and soon he was kissing her back, coaxing her lips open and cradling the back of her head as he deepened the kiss.

  He stood up, scooping her up into his arms, and carried her toward the bedroom. There was no banter, no teasing, just soft, sweet touches as he set her on her feet and pulled the tank top over her head. He slid the shorts down her legs, kissing her thigh, her stomach, and her chest, right over her heart, as he straightened.

  She undid his belt and pulled it out of the loops, remembering their first time. She couldn’t believe that she’d experienced even a moment of hesitation. She popped the button on his jeans and pulled the zipper down as he stripped off his t-shirt.

  When they were both naked, and lying on the bed, she wrapped her arms and legs around him and held him, trying to show him just how much she loved him.

  There was no denying it. She was so in love with him that she could barely breathe. But now wasn’t the time to tell him. He’d just bared his soul and she didn’t want to add any more emotions to the mix, even positive ones until he’d had a chance to process and calm down.

  She didn’t want him associating his past with their future and he didn’t want to put any pressure on him to respond in kind when he was this vulnerable and upset.

  He kissed her neck, sucking gently on the sensitive skin beneath her ear and she stopped thinking entirely. Right now she only wanted to take care of him.

  ✽✽✽

  Parker was shaking. He couldn’t believe that he’d told her everything, things that not even Jackson knew. And she still wanted him. It seemed too good to be true. He needed to feel her, taste her skin and surround himself with her warmth to prove to himself that it was real.

  With her arms and legs wrapped around him like a clinging vine, he felt cared for and accepted. She was stroking his back and kissing his shoulder and running her fingers through his hair.

  Just lying there with her knowing that she saw him, really saw him, and still wanted him, was like a weight had been lifted off of his chest. He could breathe easier than he had in years.

  She rolled her hips, tilting them upward until he was positioned against her core. He moved his hand down her body, feeling the soft mounds of her breasts and the smooth planes of her stomach. He ran a fingertip down her center, pushing it inside. He frowned.

  “You’re not ready yet.”

  Again she lifted her hips, forcing his finger in deeper.

  “You need this. We need this,” she said. She kissed him, her tongue flicking out into his mouth. He moved his tongue with hers and he felt her grow wetter. He tasted the salt on her lips and both loved and hated that she’d cried for him.

  “I don’t want to hurt you,” he said.

  “You won’t. I want this. Let me take care of you.”

  He groaned, tucking his head into her shoulder. After everything he’d told her, she still wanted to comfort him. And that just about ripped his heart out.

  He pushed into her an inch and she moaned, arching her back and urging him forward. He went slowly, giving her body as much time as he could to adjust and prepare. As much as he needed this, he would rather die than ever hurt her.

  But, God, did she feel like heaven. Every. Damn. Time.

  “More. Please.” Amanda sighed, her lids fluttering closed.

  He pushed inside her until he was buried to the hilt, releasing a groan of pleasure as she squeezed him, making a contented noise in the back of her throat.

  “You’re perfect. Fucking perfect,” he growled as he started to move.

  “Tell me again,” she said with a soft smile.

  He withdrew slowly until he was almost completely out and then slid back in at the same pace. He kept up a slow steady rhythm and each time he pumped into her, she was wetter than before. For him.

  “I’ll tell you a hundred times if you want. You’re fucking perfect,” he said, bending his head to pull one of her nipples into his mouth, sucking gently. She moaned and he did it again. Over and over, he moved back and forth, teasing each breast in turn as he slowly rolled his hips back and forth.

  It felt so different, just the two of them without the games, without the roles to play. It was just about them and it was so fucking good. Too good. Even though he was going slow, he wasn’t going to last.

  He reached a hand between them and found her clit, massaging it in tight circles with his thumb. She was getting closer. He could tell from the way her breathing had sped up and the way she tightened around him. But something was holding her back.

  “Come on, Amanda,” he said softly, kissing her neck. “Come for me, baby.”

  She gasped and spasmed around him. She cried out his name and that was it for him. He came in a rush that made him see stars. He groaned, long and low, as his release went on and on.

  When it was finally over, she pulled him down on top of her, cradling him with her body. She ran her hands up and down his back and smoothed back his hair, planting soft kisses on his head from time to time.

  He couldn’t say how long they stayed like that, but forever wouldn’t have been long enough for him.

  Forever…

  He’d never thought about it before, never considered that it was possible. Amanda made him want things he never thought he could have. And she’d made him start to believe that maybe it wasn’t impossible after all.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  “Are you sure you want to do this?” Parker pulled on the collar of his shirt even though the top two buttons weren’t even done up. His skin felt tight and he didn’t feel like he was getting enough air.

  After the other night, Amanda told him that she wanted to tell people, especially her sister, and that tonight would be the perfect opportunity to do it. Parker hadn’t been convinced, but he knew that it was important to her. And as much as he wanted to, he couldn’t keep her locked up in his apartment forever.

  She deserved the world, and he couldn’t give her that if they couldn’t be seen in public together. He focused on all the things they’d be able to do together once it was out in the open. It helped to think that now he could take her out to dinner and a movie or whatever else she wanted to do.

  So, here they were. About to walk into Connor and Alexandra’s apartment, hand in hand.


  “Positive.”

  Amanda’s smile gave him strength enough to knock on the door, but he squeezed her hand while they waited.

  Connor opened the door a moment later and, to his credit, didn’t comment aside from welcoming them in. Maybe he hadn’t noticed their interlaced fingers, or maybe he simply chose not to comment. Either way, Parker was grateful.

  “We brought wine,” Amanda said with a grin, holding out the bottle of red that she’d picked out. That was a definite plus, hearing her say “we.” His chest puffed up a little and got all warm and fuzzy.

  Maybe this wouldn’t be as bad as he thought.

  “Come on in. My wife is in the kitchen,” Connor replied, grinning like a fool.

  “You could have just said Alexandra,” Amanda laughed.

  “Alexandra, my wife, is in the kitchen.” Connor only grinned wider. He was still clearly enjoying the novelty of being married. Parker couldn’t say that he blamed him.

  “Is that Amanda?” Alexandra called from the kitchen. A moment later, she appeared in the doorway looking positively radiant. Marriage clearly agreed with her. Even in blue jeans and a plain cream-colored cable knit sweater, she was glowing. It might have had something to do with the giant smile on her face when she looked at her husband.

  “I’m glad you’re here,” Alexandra continued, finally turning to look at her sister. “I could use a some help…” her voice trailed off and her mouth dropped open as soon as she noticed Parker standing beside Amanda, holding her hand.

  “No, shit?” Alexandra asked, eyes wide.

  “No, shit,” Amanda replied with a smile.

  Parker shifted uncomfortably, not sure if this was a good reaction or a bad one. She was clearly shocked, but he couldn’t tell if she was happy or horrified. Until she squealed and rushed forward, flinging an arm around each of them. Parker leaned in awkwardly, unsure what to do with his free hand. He ended up patting her clumsily on the back while she squeezed them both with an arm around each of their necks.

  “How? When? What happened? Tell me everything!” Alexandra said in a rush. She released them but took Amanda’s free hand in hers. “Well, not everything,” she added with a blush. “But all the important stuff.”

  Parker rubbed the back of his neck. He hoped Amanda had come up with something because he had nothing. And he didn’t want to have to tell Alexandra the truth. Not that he wanted to lie to her, he just didn’t want to be the one to have to tell her.

  “Why don’t I help you with dinner and we can talk while we work?” Amanda suggested, giving him a sly look out of the corner of her eye. Oh, man, was he going to owe her one hell of a reward at the end of the night.

  He leaned in and kissed her cheek, whispering in her ear as he did.

  “You are a very good girl. Thank you.”

  She beamed up at him, shooting him a wink as she let go of his hand and followed Alexandra into the kitchen.

  “Drink?” Connor asked, clearly amused by the scene he’d just witnessed.

  “God, yes.”

  Connor poured glasses of scotch and handed one to him.

  “I have to say, I’m surprised.” Connor took a seat at one end of the couch and Parker sat at the other end shaking his head.

  “Not as surprised as I am.”

  “Yeah, it’s like that sometimes,” Connor laughed. “So… what did happen?”

  Parker cleared his throat and took another sip of his scotch while he tried to figure out what to say.

  “We ran into each other a couple of times and… one thing led to another,” Parker said with a shrug. Hopefully, Connor wouldn’t ask for too many details. Alexandra would no doubt tell him all about it after they’d left, so he’d rather not have to explain.

  “How long have you seeing each other?” Connor asked, sipping from his glass.

  “Since about a week before the wedding,” Parker confessed.

  “You’ve been seeing her for over a month and you’re just now telling us? Alexandra is going to be upset she was out of the loop for so long.” Connor shook his head and Parker swallowed another mouthful of scotch.

  “It was new and we didn’t want to rock the boat before the wedding. Then you were on your honeymoon…”

  “You didn’t tell Jackson either, though, I reckon,” Connor replied, eyes narrowed.

  “Jackson’s been… preoccupied.”

  “That’s accurate, but it’s not as if you haven’t had the chance.”

  “Listen,” Parker sighed. “It’s a weird situation. You know that. She’s Alexandra’s sister and I work for you and… it’s a little jumbled up. I didn’t want to put Jackson in the middle of things in case it all went pear-shaped.”

  “Mm-hmm.” Connor seemed unconvinced and Parker was getting more uncomfortable by the second.

  “So, how was your trip?” Parker asked, hoping to change the subject.

  “Good. Lex had a grand time,” Connor said with a smug smile.

  “Well, that’s what matters, isn’t it?” Parker replied, unable to contain a smile of his own.

  “You did what?” Alexandra shouted from the kitchen. Parker immediately cringed. Connor gave Parker a questioning look and he grimaced.

  “Please don’t ask.” He didn't know how he was going to look Alexandra in the eye ever again.

  Jackson and Janie arrived, and after they’d been offered drinks and a place to sit, the same information, more or less, was relayed to the new arrivals. Jackson was understandably surprised that he was just finding out now, and he seemed a little hurt, but he congratulated Parker all the same.

  Parker knew he was going to have to sit down and have a long talk with Jackson sometime soon. They had a lot to talk about.

  Janie was likewise happy for them, but she was much less shy about her displeasure at having been left out of the loop. Amanda was forced to promise that she’d tell her the whole story at their next girl’s night before she would let it go.

  Sam had apparently declined the invitation because he had “other plans,” which sounded suspiciously like “I don’t want to.” Angel was the last to arrive and received an abbreviated version of the story. She seemed satisfied with the basic details and didn’t ask any questions, God bless her.

  Dinner was delicious, as usual, and Parker marveled that so much culinary talent existed in one family. Between Alexandra and Amanda, they could easily whip up a five-star meal. He envied Connor. He got to go home every night with the knowledge that Alexandra would be there waiting for him.

  Then again, maybe he didn’t have to be jealous. Maybe he could have that too someday. Maybe even someday soon. He looked at Amanda who was standing across the room talking to Janie and Alexandra. She was laughing at some story Alexandra was telling them about their trip to Scotland, and he found himself smiling. He could definitely see himself coming home to her every night.

  ✽✽✽

  It couldn’t have gone better if she’d actually handed each person a script. Amanda hadn’t been worried, per se, but she definitely felt how important it was that things went well for them. Parker was on edge as it was. He had so many doubts about whether or not her family would accept him that if this dinner hadn’t gone well, it would have been a major setback.

  They’d had a good, long talk about things and she’d convinced him to at least give her the chance to prove him wrong. She had no plans of letting him go and she wanted to see where this could go without either one of them giving it an expiration date. She’d omitted the fact that she was hopelessly in love with him, because… Well, because she was a coward.

  She told herself it was because she didn’t want to rush him or pressure him into anything or add to his emotional burden just now, but the truth was, she was afraid that he didn’t feel the same. At least not yet.

  She took his willingness to put everything out in the open as a good sign, but things were still… fragile. It was going to take time.

  And she didn’t blame him in the slightest. Thank
s to Alexandra and everything she’d experienced after her attack nearly ten years ago, she knew how long it could take someone to heal from trauma. Alexandra was happier than she’d ever been, but Amanda knew she still struggled with certain things, and might never be exactly as she was before.

  And that was from one event. She could only imagine what years of being told you were worthless would do to a person. An entire childhood of mental and physical abuse was going to require a lot of deprogramming, and she intended to be there every step of the way.

  But it would be a long, hard journey for him, and right now, the slightest bump in the road might derail the whole thing.

  So, as they left the party that night, she heaved a sigh of relief that they’d managed to clear the first hurdle.

  “Thank you,” Parker said quietly. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders as they walked down the sidewalk.

  “What for?”

  “For being you.” Parker placed a soft kiss on her lips before tipping his head back and looking up at the sky. She didn’t know what he was looking at since there wasn’t a star in sight, but he had a soft smile on his face. He looked… young. Happy.

  “Does this mean I get a reward?” Amanda looked up at him, biting her lip.

  “Oh, absolutely. As soon as we get home.” He winked at her and kissed her hair.

  Parker kept walking, his pace slow and even as if he hadn’t just given her a minor heart attack. Amanda, meanwhile, looked up at him, unable to contain her wide smile. She could feel her cheeks go warm, and that warmth spread all the way through her, down to the tips of her toes.

  Home.

  Not “my place,” or “my apartment.” Just… home. That one word made her feel weightless and her mind drifted away. She saw the two of them in an apartment overlooking the park, cooking dinner together, putting up a Christmas tree, and then snuggling together on the couch to drink cocoa and watch White Christmas. And best of all, she saw them going to bed together every night.

  Her face blazed at all the images she conjured of what domestic bliss might be found in having their own private space, and she put a hand to her cheek in an attempt to cool down.