Bad Ballers: A Contemporary Sports Romance Box Set

by Bishop, S. J.

  “You warm me like the Florida sunshine. I cannot be who I am without you. Always yours, love of your life, Ryan.”

  Lea looked up from her reading. “I love that note.”

  I didn’t have the heart to tell her it was a joke. “I know sweetie.” I said, instead. “Do you want to come chat?”

  Lea followed me into the breezeway, which overlooked the woods behind our house. The cicadas were loud tonight and my daughter and I sat there in companionable silence, dipping our cookies in our glasses of milk.

  “You know when you used to ask me who your father was?”

  Lea nodded, chewing. Then she swallowed. “It’s okay, Mom. I know it’s Ryan.”

  “How do you know that, baby?” I asked. My heart was breaking for her.

  “Because I’ve always known about him. Ever since I can remember. You used to look at those yearbooks all the time when I was little. And you watch his games all the time…”

  I closed my eyes.

  “It’s okay,” said Lea. “I really like him. He’s nice.”

  God, my daughter was so grown up. So smart, and intuitive. Ryan might be furious with me, but Lea was too pure-hearted to blame me for not telling her. She’d known all along.

  “That’s good, baby,” I said, trying to keep the tears out of my voice. “Because he likes you too. He wants to take you out tomorrow. For ice cream.”

  “He does?” said Lea, eyes widening. “I hadn’t even asked him to!”

  “I guess he just knew,” I said. My voice was definitely trembling. I wanted to warn her. I wanted to tell her not to get her hopes up. But that would have been cruel. Lea’s smart. I would let her form her own opinion about Ryan and pray he didn’t disappoint her.

  “Why has it taken him so long?” Lea asked, suddenly.

  I took a deep breath. “He didn’t know about you, baby. I never told him.”

  Lea considered that for a moment and then shrugged. “That’s okay,” she said, after a moment, her forgiveness a simple thing. “He knows now.”

  She cracked a yawn.

  “You want to go to sleep baby?”

  Lea nodded. “Are you going to tuck me in?”

  I wasn’t sure I could get out of the chair. “Do you want me to?”

  Lea considered that for a minute, her smile was impish. “No. Because if you tuck me in then I have to go to sleep. If I tuck myself in, I can read a bit.”

  I laughed, softly. “Okay baby. Go tuck yourself in. I love you.”

  “Love you too.”

  My daughter left to go to bed, but I stayed awake a few hours longer, staring into the black Florida night and listening to cicadas.

  26

  Ryan

  I’d never hung out with a ten-year-old, and was more nervous to spend the day with Lea than I’d been to play my first game in the NFL. But there was nothing to get worked up over. The kid was a fucking miracle.

  I took her out to play mini-golf on Courtney’s recommendation. True to Courtney’s promise, Lea had a dead-eye. She’d take these wild putts but would somehow manage to sink her ball in. And Christ could that kid talk.

  I had all these questions I planned on asking Lea, but it turned out that Lea had her own plans. Before I could even ask her, she told me her entire life’s story in one long run on sentence that lasted from the moment I picked her up until the fifth hole. Then she asked me questions: Where did I go to school? Who were my best friends? What was my favorite color? What was my dad like? Did I have brothers and sisters? Did I like to draw? What was playing professional football like? I couldn’t answer the questions fast enough for her.

  She was incredible. She bounced more than a Mexican jumping bean, skipped from hole to hole, and chattered tirelessly.

  At the ice cream parlor, Lea ordered an enormous cup of cookie dough. We sat down at one of the tables outside and I was gearing up to ask her a question when she said. “Did you love my mom?”

  Wow. Apparently kids know how to hit hard.

  “I loved your mother a lot,” I said, because it was true. I hadn’t known what to do with that love in high school. I’d been a mess of angry emotions back then, loving Courtney as passionately as I’d hated my mother. I hadn’t wanted to feel that strongly about either.

  “Why’d you leave?” she asked.

  I rubbed at my forehead. “Because I was an idiot,” I said. “I don’t actually have a better answer.” Eighteen year old me had been convinced he couldn’t enjoy life to the fullest while still dating his high school sweetheart. Had I had a blast in the NFL? Making bank, no-strings-attached sex, travelling around the country. Life didn’t get better than that.

  But apparently it did.

  I was currently eating ice-cream with all that I’d given up to be a man-whoring party-boy.

  “It’s okay,” said Lea, as if sensing I was upset. She reached out and patted my wrist. “You’re here now.”

  I looked down at her tiny hand, sticky with melted ice cream. “Lea,” I said. “You wouldn’t mind if we did this more often, would you? I’d really like to spend more time with you.”

  Lea beamed at me and nodded vigorously. My heart hurt.

  This little girl was incredible and that had nothing to do with me. Courtney had raised her all by herself. She could have given her up for adoption; she could have chosen not to have her. But that wasn’t Courtney. Courtney was devoted, she was dedicated. She’d been both to me, and I’d thrown her away.

  “Are you all right?” Lea asked.

  I nodded, not trusting my voice. “Come on.” I said to her, holding out my hand. “We should get you back before your mother thinks I’ve run away with you.”

  On the drive back to Courtney’s house, I thought of all the things I wanted to say to her. I couldn’t be angry, because I couldn’t have done a better job with Lea. Who knows what she might have turned into with me? Who knows if I would even have been mature enough not to resent her? I wanted to apologize to Courtney for the scene on the boat. I wanted to tell her how sorry I was, how awed I was at her ability to create such a wonderful life for our daughter…

  As we walked up to the door it wasn’t Courtney who opened it. I recognized the dark haired woman as someone who worked at The Mangroves. “Hey Aunt Addie!” said Lea.

  “Hey chatterbox,” said the woman, smiling and ushering the little girl inside.

  “I’m Ryan,” I said, extending a hand. The woman introduced herself as “Adriana.”

  “Will Courtney be back soon?” I asked. I needed to talk to her. Desperately.

  “I’m not sure,” said the woman, shrugging. “She had a friend come into town and take her out to dinner. She left about an hour ago.”

  “Doug?” I said, before I could stop myself.

  “You’ve met Doug?” asked the woman.

  “Do you know where they went?”

  “I think they’re having dinner at The Vista, which is the seaside restaurant…”

  “At the Serenity Beach hotel,” I finished. A cold feeling blooming in the pit of my stomach. The Vista was expensive – an “occasion” kind of place. What’s the occasion, Doug? “I know it. Thanks.”

  “Your welcome!” the woman called after me, but I barely heard her. I was already in my car, engine roaring.

  27

  Courtney

  He was going to propose. I didn’t realize it when he asked me to go to dinner with him. And if I had, I wouldn’t have accepted the invitation. But I’d been preoccupied. I’d been pacing the house since Ryan had stepped out with Lea. And when Doug had called, I’d needed the distraction so badly, that I’d agreed to go.

  As we sat down at our table, I channeled Lea. I wouldn’t stop talking. I kept watching him check his pocket and I couldn’t calm down enough to give him an opening. I wasn’t going to marry Doug. I liked Doug a lot. In some of the darker days of Lea’s terrible twos, Doug had been a real bright spot. But our years of friendship, our occasional flings when Doug was between relationships,
those weren’t enough to build a marriage off of.

  “You’re really chatty tonight,” Doug cut in when I took a breath between stories about patrons.

  “I guess I have a lot to say.” I shrugged.

  “Well I’ve got something to say too,” said Doug, smiling at me, kindly. “If you want to rest a second, and let me say it, I think you’ll like it.”

  I had a feeling I wouldn’t.

  I took a breath to deny him, “Doug…” but he started over me.

  “Listen, Courtney. We’ve been close now for nearly nine years…”

  “Fancy seeing you two here!”

  Ryan appeared over Doug’s shoulder, looming like a storm. His teeth were bared in what was supposed to be a smile but looked more like a predatory leer.

  Doug nearly started in his seat, clearly not expecting Ryan. Never had I seen a more welcome sight.

  “Where’s Lea?” I asked, before Doug could tell him to piss off.

  “Dropped her off with Adriana,” said Ryan. “I was supposed to meet an old high school buddy here tonight, but I couldn’t help come over and tell you how stunning you look!” He winked at me. “How about a toast, eh Doug? To the most beautiful woman in this restaurant!”

  Ryan raised his glass high, over Doug’s head, and I could only gasp as beer sloshed up over the sides, spilling onto Doug’s crisp, white shirt.

  “Watch it!” Doug all but shouted, throwing his chair back into Ryan’s knees and causing Ryan to nearly drop the glass. More beer came pouring down over Doug’s head.

  I clapped my hand to my mouth, covering my first - terrible – instinct to laugh out loud.

  Ryan had grabbed up several napkins and was shoving them into Doug’s hand doing his best to seem helpful, and apologizing profusely. “My god! I’m so sorry. I’m...what an idiot! I’m so sorry!”

  I almost believed he was. Doug was having none of it. “Thanks,” he said, dryly, standing up from beneath Ryan’s ministrations and putting distance between himself and the football player. “My room’s just upstairs. I’m going to go change.”

  He sent me a grimace. “Court, could you order me the rib-eye when the waitress comes back?”

  “No problem,” I said, watching Doug’s back as he walked out of the restaurant.

  “Courtney.”

  Ryan dropped into the chair next to me, reached out, and took my hand.

  “Courtney,” Ryan repeated, his voice was low and quick. “I’m not going to beat around the bush. I have...I don’t know how to categorize my feelings for you Courtney. When I saw you that night I walked into the Mangroves… it was like being hit by lightning. It was like someone shot electricity right into my brain. I saw you and I was like ‘Ryan you total fucking moron. What have you been doing all these years?’”

  He squeezed my hand and leaned in so that we were nearly nose to nose. “To categorize my feelings as ‘strong’ wouldn’t do them justice. I’m so...God. Courtney. I’m furious, and desperate, and I want you so goddamn badly that I can barely think of anything else. And your daughter…”

  He closed his eyes and inhaled sharply through his nose. I got the impression he was trying not to cry. “She’s perfect. She’s so…” He stopped, let my hands go and covered his face, muttering, “Shit.”

  I reached out without thinking, needing to comfort him.

  “I can’t give you those years back, Courtney,” he said. When he dropped his hands, his eyes were red. “But I can make your life better now. Yours and Lea’s. I want to take her to Boston! I want to take her to a game. You too. I can help. I can make everything easier. Fuck, Courtney, I’ll make all your dreams come true! You want a restaurant in Miami? Fine! I’ll buy you restaurants all up the coast if you want them…”

  “Ryan, please stop!” I said, squeezing his wrist. He stopped talking.

  “This...Ryan it sounds incredible, honestly. And…” I didn’t know what to say to him. I didn’t want to invalidate his feelings, but I knew that this wasn’t about me. Ryan had only just found out that he was a father, and it was only natural for him to confuse his feelings for Lea with his feelings for me.

  “Ryan I just...nobody changes that fast. A few weeks ago you went out with three women in one week. You’ve got a photo in bed with one of them.”

  Ryan winced. The photo had been of their feet coming out from beneath a duvet cover.

  I shook my head. “I’m interested in doing business with you, and I’m happy to let you have an afternoon with Lea every once and a while. But, you have to understand why I can’t trust any of this. And I don’t want Lea around the kind of lifestyle you lead in Boston.”

  Ryan sat back as if I’d slapped him. His shoulders bunched and then loosened. His hands opened and closed. “I get it,” he said at last. He stood. “I get it. I guess I wouldn’t want someone’s daughter around me either.” His voice was cold.

  “Ryan, that’s not what I meant…”

  “Just - do me a favor.” Towering over me, he gave me a glance that sent heat shooting out from the very center of me. It was sensual and hungry; it promised...something. “Don’t make any rash decisions. That guy…” Ryan gestured towards where Doug had walked off. “He’s not right for you and you know it.”

  28

  Ryan

  I slammed the door of my rental car and pulled out my cell phone. Looking up a number, I dialed and sent my car screeching out onto A1A and towards the airport.

  “Griggs,” said a voice when someone picked up the phone.

  “It’s Mcloughlin,” I bit out.

  “Mr. Mcloughlin.” Griggs, sounding surprised. “How can I help you today?”

  “I need to meet. I’m getting the next flight out of West Palm immediately. I land in Boston around ten tonight.”

  “Would you rather meet tomorrow morning?”

  “No. Tonight. I’ll head straight to your offices.”

  Griggs cleared his throat, but I pay him too much to say no to me. “All right Mr. Mcloughlin. Can you give me some idea of what this is about so I might prepare for our meeting.”

  I took a deep breath. “Yes. I have a daughter. Her name is Lea, and her mother isn’t too keen on allowing me visitation.”

  “I see,” said my lawyer. “And you wish to discuss options?”

  “Something like that.”

  “Then I’ll look into matters and we’ll talk more when you arrive.” Griggs hung up the phone and I did too. I hit the gas. There was no time to waste.

  29

  Courtney

  “It’s slammed in here tonight!” Addie said, pushing her way into the back office, an empty tray in her hand. “If you had a mind to, you might get out there and help Brandon with the bar, he can barely pour fast enough!”

  I slid my cell phone into my lap hoping that Addie hadn’t seen me staring at it. No such luck. “Aw honey,” said Addie, as I stood to go help with the bar. “I’m sorry.”

  I shook my head as I followed Addie down the hall and back towards the restaurant. “Don’t be,” I said. “It’s my fault. He all but threw himself at me and I pushed him away. I don’t deserve to be pining right now.”

  “Honey, you pine if you want to pine. I feel responsible. I’m the one who pushed you to sleep with him, it’s just…” She shrugged. “You seem lonely sometimes. You needed a reminder of just how desirable you are.”

  I smiled at my friend. “Thanks Addie, I appreciate your help, and I’m glad you pushed me. Lea deserved to know who her father was…”

  Poor Lea. She asked about Ryan every day. It had been a week since he’d come into The Vista, a week since I denied him visitation, a week since I’d had to turn down Doug’s proposal.

  Addie shook her head. “He seemed so nice. I never would have pegged him for such a flake…”

  I shrugged. I didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

  Addie headed off to get back to her tables, and I joined Brandon behind the bar.

  It was two hours later when Karen wander
ed through the doors. I stared at her, surprised. It was eight o’clock, she must have driven here straight from work.

  “Why don’t you ever pick up your phone?” Karen demanded, striding up to the bar.

  I ignored the question: obviously I was working and wasn’t going to answer my phone while serving beers and shaking cocktails

  “I’m sorry,” I said instead. “I didn’t expect you tonight...did you drive all the way from West Palm?”

  “Yes,” said Karen, curtly. “I tried to call you to meet you at your house. We’ve got to talk.”

  “Can it wait?”

  “No. Because I want to go home tonight, and I wasn’t going to give you this news over the phone.” Karen looked grim.

  I shot a look over to Brandon who gestured for me to depart. Karen followed as I headed back to my office.

  “You’re making me nervous,” I told her, closing my office door behind us. Karen took a seat in front of my desk and pulled out a file folder.

  “Ryan’s lawyer faxed me these this morning,” she said, sliding the folder across the desk. Was this it, was he suing for custody? Barely daring to breathe, I leafed through the documents, and it was minutes later when I looked up at Karen, speechless.

  “Do you understand what this means?” Karen demanded.

  I licked my lips and shook my head.

  “He’s signed everything over, Court. Everything. I faxed him the preliminary contracts for our deal at least two weeks ago, and he responded by sending these in return.” Karen reached out and grabbed the pages. Leafing through them she shook her head. “He signed every single one of these in Lea’s name. All the money he’s putting into the restaurant - all of it - in Lea’s name. And the funds? His share of the proceeds? Those go into a trust to be accessed by your daughter in her eighteenth birthday.”