“Why are you mad? Because I’m leaving?”
Ali scoffs. “No. Of course I want you to be happy and successful, but I also want you to be honest with me. Since the beginning, we had plans to be together, and I get that your music took off and changed things, but you kept stringing me along, letting me believe things would be better. You tell me you love me and then you leave me two days later. You had so much time to let me know what was going on. I had no clue you had been signed to a label. I was in the dark about you going to New York for months to record an album. I was like a stupid kid, lost in my own little love-sick bubble thinking you were gonna come out soon and we’d be together and happy. Meanwhile, you knew exactly what was coming and decided that I didn’t need to know until the last possible minute. You don’t make decisions for me, Kingston!” he yells, pushing me in the chest. “Fuck you for keeping shit from me.” Another shove. “Fuck you for lying.” He pushes me again, and it’s only because of the barrier behind me that I don’t fall off the steps. “And fuck you for making me fall in love with you.”
I grab his wrists and yank him into me. He angles his head up, tears brimming his eyes as his chest heaves with deep breaths.
“Alejandro,” I say softly, leaning in slowly, waiting for him to pull away.
“I’m gonna miss you so fucking much.”
My resolve breaks and I slam my mouth against his. He doesn’t stop me. Instead, his arms wrap around my back and I frame his face with my hands, sliding my tongue against his.
Our kiss is passionate.
Angry.
Devastated.
It’s full of love and frustration.
The wetness of his tears touch my thumbs and my heart shatters.
We kiss so we don’t have to talk.
We kiss because we love each other.
We kiss to apologize.
We kiss to say goodbye.
27
Merrick
Present Day
It’s nearly seven-fifteen when Ali pulls up next to me in the parking lot of one of the elementary schools in Gaspar.
I hop out of the SUV, wearing a pair of black and white basketball shorts and a black T-shirt with the sleeves cut off.
“’Bout time, slow ass,” I say, coming around the front of the car to greet Ali.
“Whatever, it hasn’t been that long. Plus, we still have like an hour of daylight.”
“You bring the ball?”
Ali reaches into his backseat and then tosses me the basketball. “I haven’t played in a while.”
I laugh. “Already making excuses. You think I have time to play basketball when I’m on tour? But yet, I still know I’ll beat you.”
Ali just shakes his head then grabs a small duffle bag before closing his door.
“What all do you have in there?” I ask, dribbling the ball.
“Water, a small towel, and another shirt.”
“Shit, I didn’t even think to bring water.”
“I guess I can share.”
We make our way to the old basketball goal they have at the side of their building. There’s no net, but it’ll work.
“Want to take a few practice shots first?” I ask, giving him a hard time.
“Shut up and start playing.”
The first fifteen minutes goes by and the score is ten to twelve. I’m surprised we’re even that high considering we’ve been doing a lot of shit talking and laughing.
“Well, you aren’t completely terrible, but I’m still winning.”
“By two!” he shouts. “I still have a chance.”
I grin. “Sure. I’ve been taking it easy on you.”
“Fuck off, I’m getting a drink.”
He bends over to get the water bottle and I can’t help but check out his ass. As soon as I’m about to open my mouth to make a comment, I see movement off to my right. When I turn my head to get a good look, I notice two of the paparazzi cars parked along the street and one of the guys leaning against his vehicle looking through his camera.
“We got company,” I say.
Ali straightens up and follows my gaze. “Damn.”
“Yeah, but they’re the same ones who’ve been following me around. I don’t expect many more. I’m surprised they’re still here, actually. I told them I was gonna be pretty boring.”
“You wanna leave?”
I look back at the paps and shake my head. “Nah. It’s okay. Let’s finish.”
When we both get to eighteen points, a couple teenagers come from behind the school and keep stealing looks in my direction.
They linger around, and when Ali pauses to tie his shoe, they decide to approach.
“Hey, are you Merrick Kingston?” the tallest one asks.
I lift my chin in a nod. “Yeah, that’s me. What’s goin’ on, guys?”
“Shit, I told you it was him,” the shorter of the two says.
“Holy shit. I can’t believe it’s you!” the tall one says, his smile growing.
I put the ball under my left arm and reach out to shake their hands. “What’re your names?”
“I’m Kyle,” says the short one.
“I’m Kenny,” the other says.
“How long are you in town for? We always hear that you’d been here after you’ve already left. I can’t believe we actually got to see you this time,” Kyle says.
“Not sure. I’m just enjoying my time off.”
“Are the other guys here?” Kenny asks.
I shake my head. “Sorry. Just me.”
“No, it’s cool. Can we get a picture? Our friends will never believe this!”
“Yeah, sure.”
Each of them take a selfie with me.
“Thanks,” Kenny says, looking at the picture on his phone. “I’m sending this to Savannah now. She’s gonna be so pissed. She has a huge crush on you, too.”
As soon as he says too his head pops up and his wide eyes fly to mine. “I mean. . .”
I grin and put my hand on his shoulder. “It’s cool. Here, I got something for you.”
After I walk to my car, I reach inside and grab a couple guitar picks that are in my console. I always keep a handful with me.
I toss one to each of them. Written across the pick on one side is the name of the band, The Unwanted, and Kingston is on the other side.
“Oh, wow.”
“Thanks, dude.”
“No problem.”
After they leave, Ali approaches me with a grin on his face. “You just made those kids’ night. Whole life, probably.”
I rub my hand over my jaw. “We should probably go before Savannah and all her friends show up here.”
Ali snorts. “Yeah, true.”
“What do you wanna do now?” I ask, not ready to go our separate ways yet.
“I’m starving. Do you wanna eat?”
“Yeah. Let me know where to meet you.”
Ali regards me for a few seconds then says, “Why don’t you drop your car off at Elijah’s and just ride with me. His place is only a couple blocks away.”
“Okay, cool.”
Thirty minutes later, we’re in Ali’s car, parked at a drive-in restaurant called D&V’s Burgers and already digging into our food.
“God, I’ve missed the local food here,” I say, munching on steak fingers.
Ali laughs. “You’re crazy. You’ve been all over the world and you’ve missed steak fingers from a fifty-year-old restaurant in Gaspar Ohio?”
“Yep. This place holds a lot of things I find important,” I say, cutting my eyes to him briefly. “There’s just some things you can only get in your hometown.”
Ali shifts in his seat and focuses his attention on his tater tots.
“I have to tell you something,” he says, sounding nervous.
“What?”
He meets my gaze. “You remember Jordy?”
I chuckle. “Hard to forget.”
Ali raises his brows, giving me a look. “Oh? Have a crush?”
; I throw a fry at him. “Nice to know you’re jealous. What about him?”
“Well, he came to my house yesterday and informed me that he knows you’re gay.”
“What?” My wide eyes meet Ali’s nervous ones.
“He said he saw something between us and that if you’re wanting to stay closeted we shouldn’t be seen together, because people will be able to tell.”
I twist my mouth up, looking at my food as I think. “Well, shit. I thought I was playing it pretty cool.”
“You’re not freaking out?” Ali asks, surprise in his tone.
“What did you tell him?”
“I denied it. I said that maybe I was flirting with you because I found you attractive and that you put up with it because we’re friends. Then he acted like he was gonna text you from my phone and I may have panicked a little and tried taking it from him because I was afraid of what he was gonna say and what you might’ve typed back. I’m guessing that gave it away. But honestly, Jordy’s great, and he’s not gonna say anything to anyone. But yeah, he knows.”
I take a deep breath. “Okay, thanks for telling me.”
Ali’s face scrunches up. “You’re freaking me out.”
I laugh. “Why?”
“Because you’re not freaking out.”
“You said he won’t say anything. What do I have to worry about?”
“I don’t know, I just thought you’d be losing your shit over this.”
“I have something to tell you, too.”
“Okay,” he replies hesitantly.
I shift in my seat, wanting to face him. “I told my brothers last night.”
Ali’s brows furrow as he tilts his head, staring at me. A few seconds later his lips part. “That you’re gay?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh my God! What? Why? What did they say?”
I grin. “They’re fine with it. I never had to worry, and I’m sad that I didn’t tell them sooner, but they know now.”
Ali’s eyes light up as his smile grows. “Wow, how do you feel?”
“So much lighter.”
“I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks,” I reply with a grin.
We’re quiet for a little bit before I speak up again.
“Do you remember the last time we kissed?”
Ali looks at me. “Yeah.”
“I was thinking about that night recently. You said you wished you’d never met me.”
“I was just angry,” Ali says, his tone soft.
“Rightfully so,” I tell him. “It was fucked up of me to keep stuff from you. I’m sorry I didn’t handle things better back then. You should’ve been the first to know about us getting signed, but I was afraid to ruin what we had. I didn’t realize I was ruining it anyway.”
“I guess we can’t change the past,” he says.
“No, we can’t. If we could, I would have done so many things differently. I want to come out for multiple reasons, Ali. I want it for myself, so I can shed the facade. I hate pretending to be something I’m not. I want it for us, because I want you in my life more than I want anything. And I want it for kids like Kenny. Kids like him deserve to have idols that are just like them. Gay kids need to know that being gay isn’t wrong, and it isn’t something that should be kept a secret. You can be gay and successful.
“I don’t know how messy shit’s gonna get, but the guys are coming into town soon and I’ll be telling them, too.”
Ali’s eyes are wide and dancing over every inch of my face.
“What?” I ask. His gaze moves to my mouth and I smirk. “Wanna kiss me?”
“I do, but there’s so many people around.”
“Then let’s go somewhere where there’s none.”
28
Alejandro
Present Day
After getting rid of our trash, I hightail it out of the parking lot and go straight to Elijah’s so Merrick can get his car. The plan is to follow him to his hotel, and then . . . see what happens.
My heart hasn’t stopped racing since he asked if I wanted to kiss him in his boyishly charming way. The way he’s asked since we were teenagers.
Is this the smartest thing to do? I no longer care. I can’t keep denying what I want, and my heart and my body have always wanted Merrick Kingston.
I pull up behind his SUV, but as soon as I come to a stop, another car drives into the driveway.
“That’s E and Nova,” he says, staying in his seat.
When Elijah and Nova get out of the car, they wave him out.
“We might be stuck here for a minute,” he says before getting out. “Hey, guys. Date night?”
“We just went to the grocery store,” Elijah responds. “Is that Alejandro?”
I duck and meet his gaze through the window, giving them a wave and smile.
“Why don’t you two come in for a minute? Royce is on the way, too. He’s picking up some stuff Mom had. He’s going to incorporate it into his wedding.”
“Oh, that’s nice,” Merrick responds. He looks back at me and gives me an apologetic look.
I shut the car off and get out.
Before we can even make it inside, Royce pulls in and parks behind Elijah’s car.
“Hey, what’re y’all doing here?” he asks, looking between me and Merrick.
“We just got done playing basketball, and Ali was bringing me back to my car.”
“Let’s head inside,” Elijah says.
Once the door closes behind us, I take in all the changes that have been made since I was here last.
“Wow, this place looks great,” I say.
Elijah smiles. “I’ll give most of the credit to Nova.”
“Not much needed to be done,” she says. “We painted some walls and changed up the furniture a little. And of course I had to add a feminine touch to the decor, but it’s always been a great house.”
Sugarfoot comes trotting up. “Wow, and this guy’s still around,” I say, petting his head.
“He’s an old man now, but he’s still doing good,” Elijah responds.
“Like you,” Royce quips.
“Ha-ha,” Elijah responds sarcastically.
As we head to the living room, Merrick asks Royce, “What’re you using in your wedding?”
“Oh, Mom kept her veil, so London’s gonna use that, and we still have the glasses they drank out of at their reception, so we’re gonna use those, too.”
“I’m glad we kept that stuff,” Merrick says.
“Yeah, and Dad has his cufflinks and tie, so if you ever get married you can use those,” Royce adds, his eyes cutting to me for a second.
Merrick just lifts his head in response.
“You guys want something to drink?” Nova asks.
“I can get it,” Merrick says.
“No, it’s fine,” she replies, heading for the kitchen.
“I’ll take water or Gatorade. Ali?” Merrick asks, looking at me.
“Yeah, either is good with me. Thanks.”
“So,” Royce says, looking between me and Merrick again, a small smile on his face. “Are you two up to no good tonight or what?”
Elijah clears his throat, and when I look at him, I see him giving Royce a look.
“We’re not up to anything,” Merrick replies. “Just needed to remind Ali that I’m the better basketball player.”
I roll my eyes. “We were tied before we had to quit.”
“Why did you quit?” Royce asks.
“Some kids showed up and texted their friends that Merrick was there. Figured they’d be showing up, so we left.”
“Ah,” Royce says, inclining his head.
“Well, I’m glad you seem to be friends again.” He smiles like he’s privy to something I’m not.
I furrow my brows slightly and glance at Merrick who’s sitting next to me on the couch.
Merrick sighs. “I told them about us when I told them I was gay.”
“Oh.” My cheeks grow warm, and I’m not even sure wh
y. They’ve known I was gay, but knowing I slept with their brother is totally different.
Royce smiles. “I think it’s great. I never would’ve guessed, but I suppose it makes sense. Where Merrick was, you were there, too.”
“We’re not together, Royce. You know that.”
“But you were. At least you can be friends. I can’t say I’d be able to be friends with an ex.”
“You never really dated anyone seriously until London,” Elijah adds.
Royce shrugs.
We end up hanging out for an hour before Merrick says he has to leave. After our goodbyes, we make our way to the cars, and I wonder if we’re still sticking to the plan we had before, or if the mood has been killed.
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me that they knew about us,” I say.
He chuckles. “Sorry, I guess I forgot.”
“Yeah right. What all did you tell them?”
“Honestly, it wasn’t much. I told them about our first kiss and how Elijah walked in on us. Turns out he saw more than I thought, but never brought it up. I said it was a long and complicated story and that I had a lot of making up to do.”
I cross my arms and lean against the trunk of my car. “I wondered if he suspected anything.”
“He was waiting for me to come to him.”
“You have a great family.”
He nods. “I do. I was afraid for a long time that my parents wouldn’t have approved of me being gay. You hear horror stories about kids being kicked out of their house for being gay. I didn’t have as many years with my parents like my brothers did, so I didn’t have a grasp on how they thought about certain things. Even though they’re dead, I wondered if it was possible for them to look down at me and be disappointed.”
“Merrick,” I breathe, my heart breaking for him. “Parents can be disappointed in their kids’ actions and decisions sometimes, but being gay isn’t a decision we make, it’s who we are. Parents who disown their kids for something that’s not their choice are ignorant and don’t understand that. I know I didn’t know your parents, but I can’t imagine them being ignorant like that. They created four amazing men. Your parents would never be disappointed in you.”
Risking it All: An M/M, rockstar, second chance romance (Kingston Brothers Book 4) Page 11
