Hard to Break

by Bella Jewel

  Where is his family?

  Is he close to them?

  Where did he grow up?

  There are so many unanswered questions that need to come before the confession of love. I need to explain that to him, but instead I sat there speechless, making him feel like I didn’t want it. I decide I can’t let him go to sleep tonight, thinking he’s made a mistake with me. I pull out my phone and text him, just as I arrive at home.

  Q—What’s your address? It’s important.

  I get out of my car and check on Dad before making my next move. He’s watching something on television, his eyes drooping, his bottle of alcohol tipping all over the sofa. Grinding my teeth, I walk in and pick it up. I take it to the kitchen and toss it in the bin, then I clean up the soggy mess on the couch. Dad is out of it now, so I just push him down and cover him with a blanket.

  This is getting tiring.

  My phone buzzes just as I get out of the shower. I get dressed in a pair of soft leggings and a tank. Then I throw a hoodie on and lift my phone.

  T—Something wrong?

  Q—No. I need to see you, Taz. Tell me your address.

  T—Okay baby.

  He sends his address a minute later and I’m relieved he doesn’t sound angry. I check on Dad again before heading out to my car and driving over to Tazen’s place. When I arrive, I stop in the driveway and look to my left and then to my right. He … lives here? My jaw goes slack when I see his car in the drive. Yes, he lives here. In this … mansion.

  I stare up at the three-story cream-colored house. It seems to go on forever. It has a triple garage, a double front door and a porch that is amazing. It wraps right around the base, and it’s at least ten feet wide. I suddenly wonder if I should be here. I live in a cheap two-bedroom shack, and he lives in a mansion. I never felt we were opposites until this very moment.

  My heart sinks.

  But I get out of the car. I walk up the stone path to the front door. I knock softly on the door, trying to swallow down the pain rising in my chest as I take it all in. A moment later, the front door opens and Tazen is standing there, wearing nothing but a pair of sweats. They sit low on his hips, showing his gorgeous body off. I meet his eyes and they’re soft, but weary. He wants to know why I’m here, I can tell.

  “Ah, hey,” I say gently.

  “Hey, angel.”

  I look past him, then say, “You live here?”

  He nods, studying the weariness on my face. “Yeah, you don’t like it?”

  Like it? I’ve never seen something so incredible in all my life, but I also know it’s not something I’ll ever have, so it makes me feel uncomfortable. He steps back and pushes the door open. I step in and glance around at the first story of the massive home. The floors are a grey tile, shiny and polished. The furniture ranges from leather creams to blacks. All of it immaculate.

  The house is utter perfection. And I’ve never felt so out of my league.

  “Quinn?”

  I jerk and turn to Tazen. “Ah, I…”

  He steps forward, kicking the door closed behind him. He reaches out, cupping my cheek in his hand. He studies my face for a long time, then murmurs quietly. “What’s going on in that head, baby?”

  I close my eyes, turning my head towards his palm. I nuzzle him and breathe him in, then I look up and meet his eyes. “I’ve never been somewhere so beautiful, Tazen. I’ve never had…” I let my eyes travel around the room then go back to him. “Anything like this in my life.”

  “It makes you uneasy.”

  It’s not a question. It’s a fact.

  I nod.

  “Come on, I know how to make this more … comfortable.”

  He drops my cheek and takes my hand, leading me towards a dark grey door near the massive kitchen. He opens it and steps in, then he flicks the light on. A massive, and I mean massive, garage comes into view. It has polished floors, top of the line equipment and the lights are so bright it lights up like a showroom floor. I gasp and let go of his hand, stepping in further.

  “Tazen,” I breathe, looking around.

  He has three cars in there, one of them is the beautiful car Sheyenne destroyed on the track tonight. He brought it back for me. The other two are red and white racing cars, but they aren’t a classic style. They look like Formula One cars. I wonder if they’re private projects, because I haven’t seen them before. “Those two cars, who are they for?”

  He leads me over to them and up close they’re even more impressive.

  “They got shipped over yesterday from my other garage. We had them built for the F1 racers.”

  I thought so. Impressive.

  “They’re … so…”

  “Fucking incredible.”

  I nod, squatting down and getting up close to the powerful machines.

  “These were the first I’ve built in their class. It was a good challenge.”

  “Do you build at home?” I ask, moving to the impressive engines.

  “Yeah, on the side I’ve done a few jobs.”

  “Have you ever built one you just want to keep?”

  He shrugs and squats down beside me. “Plenty, but I’ve always parted with it in the end. One day I’ll build one I’ll keep.”

  I stand and walk over to the car Sheyenne was driving. I stare down at the beauty and hate that she destroyed such a beautiful creation.

  “Don’t give her another car, Tazen.”

  He’s quiet for a second, and I hope I haven’t offended him. I turn and look at him, to him studying me with a passion in his eyes I have seen in my own before.

  “I’ve wanted to meet someone my entire life that looks at my cars the way I do.” He steps closer. “The way you gave it to Sheyenne tonight, the way you stood up for my work … I realized that someone is you, Quinn.”

  Oh God.

  I open my mouth to speak but he keeps going.

  “You have a fire that matches my own and a passion that runs deep. You made me understand that I don’t have to do anything for anyone else, if it isn’t what I want. That’s why after you left tonight, I rung Murray and told them I’d no longer be supplying Sheyenne with cars.”

  He did?

  “You did?” I whisper.

  He nods. “I put my heart and soul into those cars, and I am tired of seeing them go to waste.”

  “But … she could destroy you with what she knows?”

  He sighs, and there’s definite fear in his eyes. “I know that, it’s why I told Murray I would pay him and her to shut her up.”

  “You did?” I gasp.

  He nods.

  “And will he?”

  He shrugs. “He said it seemed like a fair deal, but I get a strong feeling he is at his wit’s end with her, and is considering taking the money and cutting all ties. I don’t know if he will do that, but if he does I still have Sheyenne on my back, and I don’t know how to flick her off. The only thing I can hope is that if Murray has had enough, that he might consider helping me.”

  “Tazen…” I say, twisting my hands together nervously. “This is risky.”

  He nods. “Oh fuck yeah. It’s far from over, too. Sheyenne won’t be happy, but I have a feeling Murray might try to keep her from spilling. After all, I know a shit load about him and he knows it. Still, Sheyenne is uncontrollable, she could bring this down for everyone.”

  “And I don’t imagine Sheyenne is the type to let up easily.”

  “No,” he says distractedly. “Listen, Quinn, can you just tell me what you came here to say?”

  I blink at him and then nod weakly.

  Then I take a deep breath.

  “You said something to me tonight that threw me. It threw me not because I don’t feel it back, because Tazen,” I meet his eyes, “I do. It was just that we’ve had such a hectic time from start to now and I honestly don’t feel like we know each other. Then tonight … I came here and I realize how different our lives are.”

  “That doesn’t matter, angel,” he says, stepping c
loser. “These things are just money, they’re not me.”

  “But you haven’t seen what I live like, Tazen. We’re from different sides of the tracks.”

  He studies me. “We might not be as different as you think.”

  I narrow my eyes and study him. “You have money, and you live in a place like this. I couldn’t even keep my garage open and I can tell you right now my entire house is as big as this garage.”

  “Quinn,” he says, reaching out and hooking me around the waist. “I have all of this, but I haven’t had it my entire life.”

  “Maybe, but I worry we’re just too different.”

  “And yet,” he says running his finger down my cheek. “We’re so very similar.”

  He’s right about that too, I can’t deny it.

  “Tazen,” I whisper.

  “Baby, give me a chance. Do you think it honestly matters to me if you have nothing?”

  No, I don’t honestly think that.

  “No.”

  “Does it matter to you that I do?”

  “I’m not … sure.”

  “Then it’s something we’ll explore, but right now I just want you to give me a chance. I’ve had a crazy life, I’ve had a lot of girls, I’ve had a successful career but fuck, angel, I’ve never had you.”

  Dammit.

  I bite my bottom lip and look up at him.

  “You want to know something about me, then all you have to do is ask.”

  “Really?” I whisper.

  “Fuck yeah.”

  I give him a small smile. “Then can I ask?”

  He grins. “Yeah. Come on, we’ll get a drink and then we’re getting in the tub. You can ask as many questions as you want.”

  My body roars to life and I shudder. In the tub with Tazen … yes please. I let him lead me inside again, where he grabs a couple of beers. Then he leads me up the stairs. The second story has a mass of bedrooms, at least I think that’s what is behind the closed doors. We go right to the end of the polished hall, and through a big wooden door.

  I stop dead when I see the size of Tazen’s bedroom.

  Oh. Jesus.

  It’s bigger than my house and probably the neighbor’s house. Sitting in the middle of the room is a massive bed, that couldn’t even be classed as a king size, because it’s way bigger. To the left is a plush lounge suite and to the right are big floor-to-ceiling windows. There’s a massive open bathroom that steps down from the main floor. It has a shower, a double vanity and a huge spa bath.

  “This is … your room?” I breathe.

  “Yeah.”

  He takes me down the two steps to the open bathroom. He lets me go to start the bath. He pours something that smells amazing into it and then turns to me. He steps forward, his eyes suddenly lusty, and he takes hold of my hoodie. He raises it up and I let my arms up so he can slip it over my head. Then he takes my tank and does the same. I’m standing in a bra and leggings now, and he steps back and his eyes slowly travel over my body.

  “Fuck you’re beautiful.”

  Those words go right to my heart and it swells.

  “So are you,” I whisper.

  His eyes flash to mine, and their chocolate brown depths seem darker tonight. I think lust does that to them. He reaches around me, pressing his lips to mine as he unclips my bra. I whimper when he steps back and my breasts fall free. He takes one in his hand, tossing my bra with the other. He cups it and then leans down, capturing my nipple in his mouth. I gasp and clutch his biceps. He sucks each of them, then he removes his mouth and kneels down before me.

  He takes my leggings and slides them down my hips, making sure my panties go with them. When I’m naked before him, he cups my sex. Then he slides his hand between my legs and rasps, “Spread.”

  I do as he asks, spreading my legs a little. He curls his hand around my calf and then he lifts my foot and places it on his shoulder. My cheeks burn at the position he’s put me in, and I’m about to protest when he leans forward and puts his mouth between my legs. All my thoughts fly out the door as sensation quickly takes over once more. I gasp and reach backwards to hold onto the vanity as he devours my pussy.

  “Tazen,” I gasp. “Yes.”

  He sucks and licks, doing nothing but those two things, until I’m wound up so tight I’m ready to explode. My knee is shaking and struggling to hold my body weight with the other foot off the floor. My fingers are curling into the counter and my head is tilted back. Tazen puts his teeth over my clit and rolls it, and I explode. A scream is ripped from my throat as the most amazing orgasm takes over my body.

  Before I’ve even come down from my high, Tazen has my foot back on the ground and is standing, jerking his pants down. “Pill, Quinn?” he grinds out. “You on it?”

  “Y-y-y-yes,” I gasp as he spins me around and presses my body over the vanity.

  “You clean?”

  “Y-y-y-y-yes. Are you?”

  “Yeah, got tested. You want to see?”

  I believe him.

  “No.”

  “Thank fuck, ’coz baby, I’m going in bare.”

  He puts his hand to the middle of my back and pushes me gently forward. I can see us both in the mirror. My cheeks are flushed and my dark hair is falling around my face. My breasts are full and my nipples are hard pebbles. Tazen’s eyes are nearly black with lust. We look … beautiful together. Tazen reaches between us and takes his cock, then he pushes inside me.

  I gasp, he grunts and then he starts fucking me.

  The cold porcelain is pressed against my belly, but I hardly notice as sensations begin sparking to life inside me again. My clit is swollen from Tazen’s last encounter with it, so everything is super sensitive.

  “Look at us in the mirror,” Tazen orders.

  I lift my head and look into the mirror. I like what I see. Tazen’s jaw is hard and his body is wound up tight. His eyes are flashing with pleasure. My eyes look exactly the same, only my cheeks are now a perfect pink and my lips are parted in pleasure. Tazen reaches forward and takes a handful of my hair, tilting my head back slightly. Seeing him do that in the mirror has my pussy clenching around him.

  “Fuck you feel good bare,” he grinds out. “So sweet, so warm, so fucking tight.”

  “Yes,” I pant.

  “Tell me how hard you want it, angel? Tell me how hard you want me to fuck you.”

  “Hard, honey,” I cry out. “Hard.”

  He picks up the pace, fucking me hard and deep. I close my eyes and let my head fall back, loving the tingle in my scalp as he pulls my hair a little harder. I come before him, because I’m so wound up already. I yell his name as my orgasm explodes through me. Tazen hisses my name and then I watch in the mirror as he throws his head back and pleasure overtakes him, too. His thrusts slow down and I watch as he meets my eyes in the mirror again.

  “Fuck,” he breathes.

  “Yeah,” I agree.

  He pulls out of me gently, and then helps me stand straight. “You okay?”

  I nod.

  He turns us both towards the spa bath that is now full. He turns the water off and then holds my hand as I step in. It’s the perfect temperature. Not too hot, but not too cool either. I sink in with a moan, loving how it feels to have the warm water surrounding me. My muscles thank me for it as I instantly relax. Tazen climbs in beside me and then scoots over so he’s sitting across from me.

  “Good?” he asks.

  “The fucking or the bath?”

  He chuckles. “Both.”

  I grin. “Then yes, good.”

  He leans back, his chest muscles bunching as the water slides over them. He holds his breath and then ducks under the water. When he comes back up, his hair is hanging over his face and he looks so damned good. I do the same and when I come up, he’s giving me the same expression. Maybe we are more alike than I think. Time to find out.

  “So, do I get to ask you anything I want?”

  He shrugs. “Nothing to hide, angel.”

 
“Okay. Where did you grow up?”

  “L.A.”

  I snort. “Well, don’t get into great depth, will you.”

  He grins. “Is there much more depth to get into? Did you want the color of my house, street name and dog’s name?”

  I roll my eyes at him. “Smart ass.”

  “You took us there, baby.”

  I laugh. “Fine. What about your family? Do you have siblings?”

  “My mom is awesome, she’s still kicking and is married to an awesome dude that isn’t my dad. They live in L.A. My dad is a piece of shit, and that’s all you want to know about him. I have a sister, Retro and a brother, Kellian.”

  I blink.

  “Your sister’s name is Retro?”

  He snorts. “Retina, but we call her Retro. It suits her.”

  “And your brother is Kellian?”

  He nods. “Yep.”

  “And you’re Tazen.”

  He laughs. “Yeah, baby.”

  I shake my head. “Your mom wanted to be different then?”

  He nods, with a half grin. “Yeah, you could say that.”

  “So how old are Retro and Kellian?”

  “Retro is thirty-one, and Kell is twenty-five.”

  “So you’re the middle child.”

  He scrunches his face up. “Yep.”

  “Poor baby,” I tease.

  “What about you? What’s your family like?”

  No.

  We’re still discussing him.

  “No you don’t, we’re not done talking about you.”

  “All right,” he says, his eyes sparkling with amusement.

  “Did you study?”

  “Nope. Cars was it for me.”

  I nod. “Fair enough. What about girlfriends, aside from Sheyenne? Have you had any long term?”

  He nods. “Two. One when I was sixteen. I was with her for three years. Then I was with another for a year, when I was around twenty-one. Then there was Sheyenne.”

  “So how come none of them worked out?”

  He doesn’t seem offended by my questions, and is answering them quite openly, which I like.

  “The first was because I was far too young. The second, she wanted to go to another state for school and I had just started my building, so it wasn’t going to work. Sheyenne, you know how that ended.”

  “And all the other girls?”