by Eleni Kaur
Good morning to Goodnight
Eleni Sophia Kaur
There was something about holding his hand that made her feel as if she was at home
I write because words are my lifeline, they're my catharsis and my therapy. Without them, I would have no voice and no outlet to express my soul. The gratification and the getaway from the authentic world is so unique; one can simply create their own utopian culture, whilst escaping a dystopian society. Writing is a great form of communiqué. It is an incredible sort of escapism and therefore one of the best forms of liberty. I write because occasionally I have things worth saying but writing is what prompts me to express them. There is a narcissistic pleasure of writing and I personally write to help make the world a better place. There are no restrictions and I have the ability to express the lessons I have learned, the adversity and hardships I have witnessed people endure and I don't want my individual understandings to go to waste.
That is why I write.
I find it absolutely astonishing that good morning consists of two words whereas goodnight is composed of only one.
When thinking about this significant other being my ‘good morning’ to ‘goodnight,’ I looked deeper into it and admired the metaphorical ambiguity it presented when compared to our relationship.
The morning is a blessing- it’s how I felt whilst in the relationship; I looked forward to waking up and starting a new day- I looked forward to a ‘good morning.’ The night was when we opened up and let one another in. We told each other our deepest longings and our biggest fears- which united us.
After the night there is always hope for a morning. So, even if this separation is a long, dark nightmare, maybe in a few years’ time, he and I will find our morning.
Or, maybe I just have to come to terms with the idea that we weren’t written to be for this world.
I don’t know.
I didn’t want the memories we created to float around my mind- a place they would gradually fade. So, I decided to write this- I took inspiration from what we had and crafted them into this book.
Despite my poems having many simplistic elements, I have been told that my words ‘speak for themselves.’ The poetry itself was driven by strong emotions and I really hope my writing is relatable.
Although it is easy for readers to automatically assume what writers are articulating is something they've personally been through, isn't necessarily true. Our enthusiasm is driven from what we see around us as, as well as our own experiences.
You’ve probably realized this collection was of course inspired by a particular event in my life as well as a certain individual. But, I would like to clarify that I have a lot of respect for him and I would never intentionally do anything to disrespect him in any way- I presume you could say I wrote this to prove a point- I don’t give up easily and if I want something, I’ll fight for it and I really
hope I demonstrate that throughout the book. I guess you could also say this is my final attempt before I completely take my step back. This way, at least I can say that I tried.
I would, however, like to point out that not every poem in here is about us. Yes, inspiration was taken from what we had but I have tried to write in such a way that many of you around the world can relate.
Therefore, I hope that by the end of the book you can take something from my writing. I have tried to express myself in such a way that I can inspire other individuals to never give up on what they truly love and believe in. I hope you realize that you can still remain strong- no matter how far down you may fall.
I love sharing my writing and hoping other personalities around the world can relate; I feel as if it almost brings us together- it makes us strong.
I don’t see myself as frail by writing this. Although some poems were written at my weakest of times, I believe composing all these feelings is an act of
strength rather than one of weakness.
I want you to take a look at yourself; take a moment to reflect on how far you have come. You may have loved, you may have been broken and you are now on the journey to finding yourself.
A saying I have repeated within this book is ‘everything happens for a reason and whatever is meant to be, will be.’ Maybe whoever or whatever came to mind when reading what I previously wrote will come back. Maybe this departure was necessary for you both to find yourselves and then come find one another. Or, maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. As difficult as this may be to comprehend, one day someone will come along and show you why it never worked out with another; one day it will all make sense.
Nevertheless, I promise you, no matter how difficult your situation may be, you will progress; ‘there is always light at the end of a tunnel.’
I hope you enjoy my collection
Lots of love,
Eleni
x
First Love
Your first love is an individual to whom you wholly open up to-
Not only in the sense that you tell them about certain things in your life
But,
They see everything.
They're the first to witness it too- The way you love.
They're the first to witness how you love!
It won't be the same with anyone else. No matter how hard you try to tell yourself that it will- it will never be the same
You don't love the same as you did your first.
Predominantly because you learn things over time that changes your approach towards this very crazy thing called
Love.
But
They got to see the innocent side, The pure side,
They were fortunate enough to see what you believed love would be like
and if you’re lucky enough
They won’t forget you
They won’t forget the love you gave them
For The Boy in the Blue Suit From The Girl in the Maroon Scarf
This one’s dedicated to the man who I met not so long ago.
The one who made me feel as if I had known him for years.
The man who I valued with all my heart- my first.
The man I was prepared to look after and take care of for eternity.
This one’s for the man who gently made me fall in love with my insecurities.
This one’s for the man I fell in love with entirely, utterly, exclusively
This is for the man who it all comes
down to
This one’s for you.
Building You
I want to help you grow as an individual; every single part of you means everything to me.
I want to help you grow mentally and spiritually.
I want to be the girl who has your back during your struggles and motivates you to keep going.
I want to help you become a better individual- I want to help strengthen your belief, your knowledge.
I want to build you.
I want to build you in terms of faith and therefore the connection between yourself and God.
I want God to look after you- I want him to be there for you when you’re at your lowest of lows and highest of highs!
But, I also want you to remember him daily.
I want you to thank him for everything you have and make it a habit- for he will be the one to guide you in the right path.
Unexpected calls- Looking out the window Knees on ground Biggest smile
Gazing up towards the sky One hand on phone
The other resting upon the warm radiator
It’s the unexpected moments like this that she doesn’t want to end
The effortless moments she cherishes
A simple phone call or notification from you makes her feel like the happiest girl alive
Holding her hand and
kissing her forehead
She loved it when you did that Hands held so tight
Smile facing the ground
Your lips on her forehead
Gentlemanlike.
She loved it.
Protected.
Secure.
When it was just you and her.
Waves of pleasure Goosebumps all over Shivering body Delight
Slow moans Deep breathing
Only desired to be experienced with one individual
The way he bit her lip and wrapped his lips right around hers- saliva all over Her heart had never beaten faster
She breathed heavily and enjoyed every moment
Oh when he laid his hands upon her biggest insecurity telling her he loved it
Theinsecurityshehateddueto
society’s expectations of a ‘woman’
The way he squeezed it and held it in his hands with such love
This is sexy he said
She’ll never forget that moment
Reassuring her there was nothing for her to feel so unconfident about
Oh when he laid his hands upon my biggest insecurity and told me he ‘loved it’
I felt as if I were at home
I had never felt so loved
The way you felt so happy and warm
At the thought of loving someone.
They're the one person who you're going to love wholeheartedly- the person to whom you give such a piece of your heart to that it'll forever remain. If you're one of the lucky ones, they'll never forget you
They won't forget how you loved them.
When my hand first touched yours Soft.
I write this with the picture in front of me.
Hands entwined
Your thumb, resting on my fingers
My thumb,
laying at the back of your hands
It lasted seconds
But felt like no other feeling I felt as though I was secure.
Forever and Ever.
She sought nothing but of his companionship
She didn’t wish for anything but his time
She desired his presence
She embraced him She loved him
O how very deep her love was- love of a
‘crazy girl’ they all said-
‘We’ve never seen someone love this
much’
They continued
She didn't want to be touched by another;
Nobody else’s presence excited her as
even the thought of yours did
She didn't want anybody else's lips on hers
The idea of somebody else’s touch tightened and clenched her throat
(She was afraid.)
She was so in love with your embrace
She didn't want anyone else to rub her back whilst they hugged
Let alone be in anyone else’s arms
She wanted you Only you
His delicate warm touch upon the flower stroking slowly yet with intensified pace: petals start blowing- as if being moved by the winds
Slowly yet passionately waves of pleasure
O how the flower loved it
Before the flower even knew what the hand felt like, the pollen was pre-burst He continued caressing
As the pollen continued to leak
Faster pace
He added more fingers to continue rubbing
Anther stigma filament petal all aroused
Just from one delicate touch
from one delicate individual to a flower that urged to be valued for its presence and all that it could offer
three or four fingers- stroking
From the individual to-the flower whose love came right from the roots
The way my hands ran lusciously through your hair
The way you didn’t like anyone touching
your hair
But I still did it.
‘You like it really’
‘It feels like a head massage’
Soft hair
Dark brown eyes
A perfect picture I’ll forever remember
O how can one human have such an effect?
I remember the way he called me beautiful and told me that I’ll go far in life. I was touched- touched on a different level-more than a physical touch- It was as if these words heartened my soul. Words, a voice, his emotional touch, his essence
I’ll never forget
Her Mindset
I think many men forget that a woman's mindset will bring up their children. It's their mentality that will teach them how to raise their children with the courtesy of being polite, respectful.
Yes, beauty is a bonus. But, external beauty fades.
It's the mindset that'll not only benefit them by inspiring them, keeping them on the right path and lending them an arm when they need a hand but will raise the mini-them.
That's what they forget. Her mindset
Mindset before beauty.
External beauty will fade
Internal beauty will forever remain.
Choose sensibly.
A man’s success is reflected from the woman he chooses to have by his side. I hope to God whoever you choose brings out the best in you. I hope she loves you unconditionally.
Because I was brought up to recognize the best in people
To wish people the very best
No matter how much pain your departure may have caused
My love for you is incessant
You never notice how fragile you are until you hear something you thought you’d never have to and lose something you were terrified of losing
She dreamed he lay her gently in bed Deeply gazing into her eyes
Above her
Moving her hair gently from her face to behind her ear
Bringing himself closer
His breathing reflecting his warmth onto her gentle sensitive skin
Eyes closed
Lips pressing against one another's Slow motion,
He picks himself up slightly Holds her hands above her head Slow,
Gentle
One another's embrace
Hands held tight above her head He takes control
He protects.
He's in charge She liked that.
One hand around throat
The other above her head
(She enjoyed that)
Moans Pleasure
Embraced and Entwined Enduringly
It was an act neither of them wanted to do- it wasn’t as simple as them both loving one another and everything being perfect- it was far more complicated
That’s what killed them both
We didn't have a perfect relationship There's no such thing as a 'perfect relationship'
We had our arguments but whatever we had was lovely
I'll miss it forever but the memories along with your scar,
permanently remain deep within my heart.
26th November
Trying to look my best Blue jumper
Black skirt Straight hair Favorite lip-gloss
You, on your lunch break Now in front of me.
The way our eyes meet one another’s and we fall into each other’s arms
Your kisses on my forehead My desired ones
53 days ago
There was something about the last time I saw you.
That's why I think everything happens for a reason
It was as if I knew something was going to happen-although I didn't.
I continuously told you 'I love you' and I couldn't help saying it; it was every 2 minutes
The way we hugged and one hand stroked my back- upwards and downwards
Whilst the other, held my hand- soft yet tight
O what a treasurable moment
There was something about when you were about to leave too
I called your name
Tiptoed
Kissed your neck and told you I love you once again-
I had never done that before; we
normally hugged and said goodbye
But this time
I called you back and kissed you
and
that was it.
I craved your company.
I didn't want you to spend money on me; I can provide for myself.
I wanted your time.
I desired your time and presence
I wanted to help you build this empire so I can watch you succeed-
I wanted to be the girl who enthused and kept you going.
I wanted to pick you up during the difficult times
I wanted to watch you succeed I wanted it to be me-
The woman behind it all- the woman you turned to- the one who lent you an arm when you needed a hand and stuck by you through your highest of highs and lowest of lows.
