by Eleni Kaur
Make sure he’s eaten
Make sure he’s taking care of his health
Don’t let him get involved in anything silly or get involved with the wrong people
Cherish every moment you have with him and love every inch of him
Appreciate everything he does and never take anything for granted
Because remember, there’s someone out here who would kill to be in your place
Lots of love,
Me
‘Nothing lasts forever’ I said ‘Love never dies’ he said
With eternal love
The girl who loved you more than the world
;
Essentially
You were my very first good morning to goodnight
I wrote this to reassure myself that this isn’t a long break, rather something that’s probably not written to be for this world. I wrote it because I need to reach a state of mind where I know I’ve done all that I can from my side. I hope I’ve demonstrated the idea of slowly picking yourself back up no matter how hard you may fall.
This book was for me to move forward along my journey; rather than constantly having those memories floating around my mind, I have them composed and safe in this book. But, it can also be considered as my final attempt before completely backing down. I wouldn’t necessarily see it as ‘giving up’ rather, accepting that we’re probably not meant to be.
I hope in at least 6 months’ time I have reached peace with my mind; right now my thoughts are full of nothing but chaos and it’s so important for me to find myself again.
If you have been through anything similar, I promise you everything takes it’s time and whatever is meant to be in your life will come back. I cannot reiterate this enough- I know the thought of hearing that saying gives you some hope but at the same time, it tightens your throat- making you wonder ‘what if we’re not meant to be?’ But, one day, it will all make sense.
Everything will make sense to you.
So, my darling-
Take all the time you need to heal. Go out there
Explore life, Live,
Love and appreciate every single breath you take;
Whatever is meant to be in your life, No matter how far it may drift,
It will always come back- I promise.
Crafting this was almost a cathartic process- This book was inspired by an experience I encountered and I would hate for someone to go through what I did- I hated losing my appetite. I hated not having anybody to relate with (hence why I hope my words have shown you that you are not alone). I hated having to hear ‘I looked up to you’ or ‘I admired you’ but, it’s those very words that pushed me to write this.
Although I may not be of any help in terms of helping you heal, I believe by printing the pain simply in black and white (literally!) almost reassures you that you are not alone in this world. At the same time I hope that I have convinced you to never give up on your dreams and what you love.
I guess moments like this have to occur in our everyday lives- it sucks but pain is necessary for change- it’s vital for self-improvement. Also, heartbreak is inevitable- it’s as if it needs to happen at least once in our lives. It sucks, Yes, it will be painful but you will find yourself. Although I’m not there yet, this book and my form of escapism (writing) have really helped me along this journey. So, I urge you- yes, cry- let it all out- let out
the pain; you need to! But, don’t sit back and do nothing! If you want something, go out there and fight for it- never sit back and wait for things to fall into place.
A few words of advice:
Never ever say ‘Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be’ if you didn’t even try; if you don’t try, you will never know!
I have recently fallen in love with self- help books and a quote I picked up from Rob Bell was ‘how we respond to what happens to us- especially the painful, excruciating things that we never wanted and we have no control over- is a creative act.'
This was my creative act. I went through a horrible situation but my ‘creative act’ was to write a book and hopefully inspire you to one day look at undesirable situations optimistically.
Nevertheless, I think when a situation like this occurs; all we can do is wish the significant other nothing but the very best for their future.
I would just like to reiterate to my readers- never give up on what you love. Always fight and keep on going; no matter how far you may fall down, you’re the only one that’s going to pick yourself back up. Fight for what you truly believe in. If you want something go out there and get it-
Fight; (this is mine!)
Take risks and never give up
For, ‘the only thing worse than death is a regret filled coffin.’
For the boy in the blue suit:
I hope you’re doing great. I understand this situation must have been difficult for you also. As you told me, you want me to be happy and I really want you to be happy too. I’ve stated this in many of the letters I gave you (which I hope you still have!) but I wish you tones of success and happiness for the future; you truly deserve it.
Thank you for the memories you gave me. Thank you for putting up with me (even though I was probably a handful at times.) Thank you for being my first kiss and for making that moment special. Thank you for making me feel loved. Thank you.
As I’ve mentioned before, maybe this was just a touch of fate; in life, you don’t always get what you want. Yes, I am a firm believer of the saying ‘everything happens for a reason' and I guess if we’re meant to be, we’ll drift back together- some way or another. If maybe one day you think that I’m the one for you, then one day we might decide to
pursue this further; right now, we’re both young and we have our whole lives ahead of us- so we might just find one another again. But, if we’re not meant to be, we cannot force it- one thing I’ve definitely had to come to terms with!
This was painful to write but I enjoyed most moments; writing about the good times made me feel as if I was living them all over again.
Neither of us know what the future holds or what's in our destiny and that’s both frightening yet exciting.
Once again, you will forever have this place deep inside my heart. But, for the woman who will come next, I hope and pray she gives you unconditional love, I pray she brings out the best in you- as much as I wanted to do this, maybe it just wasn't supposed to be done by me. Although I may no longer hold a significant part of your life, I'm going to be here, always. Don’t ever feel hesitant to message me if you need someone to talk to- whether it be 3am or 5pm; after all,
I was a girl you once loved
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Thank you- and remember, none of this will matter in a year’s time so it’s definitely not worth stressing over- focus on yourself, spend time alone to figure out what you really want and live life to its fullest!
Lots of love,
Eleni
x
